The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers!
by Odeena Skywalker (alias Anne Shard)
Interlude: The Fangirls and Fellowship go steady! (Part one - The couples)
Fade in...
Odeena: Hello there, and welcome to the 'Fangirls and Fellowship go steady' Interlude. Since Legolas put Bob the Narrator in hospital at the end of the last Interlude and we couldn't find anyone else suitable for the job, I'll be doing the low work this time.
Faramir: I'm available! I could do it!
Odeena: glares Shouldn't you be going on a date?
Faramir: resignedly Oh... yes... sure... mutters That's right, you have all the fun. Yeesh...
Odeena: What was that?
Faramir: Eh... nothing... runs off to prepare for his date
Odeena: cough And now, let's meet my lovely assistants and professional stalkers, Arwen and Eowyn!
Arwen: makes a reverence Hello!
Eowyn: rolls her eyes Cheesy...
Arwen: shoots a death glare at Eowyn And just what is that supposed to mean?
Eowyn: Exactly what it's supposed to mean. You're cheesy.
Arwen: WHAT?
Odeena: hurriedly Ladies, ladies... please... pleadingly For once, can't you two work together like a team?
Arwen: determined No.
Eowyn: folds her arms No way.
Odeena: menacingly You keep this up, and you'll end up in a romance fanfic with Gollum!
Arwen: looking utterly horrified Not that horrible creature! sigh I give up.
Eowyn: Whatever... Just don't expect me to be cheesy like her.
Odeena: sighs Well, that's a definite improvement. cough And now, let's meet our lucky couples. First, we have Filia Regalis, a.k.a. Kara, and Faramir.
Image switches to a split-screen, with a very nervous Kara, is brushing her hair in front of the mirror, on the left, and Faramir in a tuxedo on the right.
Kara: pulls out a few hairs by accident Ouch! Stupid brush...
Eowyn: Well, is she excited, or what?
Odeena: I'll say. Next, we have Julia, the rightful owner of Boromir, and... well, who else could it be? Boromir!
Image switches, showing Julia and Boromir holding hands and laughing.
Arwen: They seem to be a happy couple.
Eowyn: I'd say the same, but I don't feel like getting flayed by an army of fangirls... laughs
Odeena: Indeed, Boromir's popularity is surpassed only by Faramir's. Moving on, meet my very best friend, Hish, and her lovely date, Haldir of Lorien!
Again, the image switches to a split-screen, with Hish braiding her hair on one side and Haldir adjusting his Elvish cape on the other.
Arwen: She's a lucky lady. I bet there are many girls out there who would like to be in her place right now.
Odeena: I know a few... laughs Next comes our one and only lucky fan-guy, Omega, going on a date with the Queen of Lorien herself, Galadriel
This time, the screen shows Omega, posing and holding his very own Pen of Doom, and Galadriel doing some glittery elvish magic... thingy.
Arwen: Hold on, Galadriel is going on a date?
Eowyn: It's the end of the world as we know it.
Arwen: Yup.
Odeena: tries very, very hard to stiffle a giggle And for the... hold on, this can't be right.
Eowyn: What is it?
Odeena: The fifth couple consists of Crystalline and... Faramir?
Arwen: Gimmie that! takes the script Um... yes, it says it right here... Crystalline and Faramir...
The screen splits again, showing Faramir in a tux and Crystalline working on her make-up.
Eowyn: So Faramir is going on a double date?
Odeena: grins Of course, we all know what that means...
Arwen & Eowyn: Cat fight!
Odeena: Well, actually, I meant that, being the gentleman he is, Faramir is probably going to pay for everything, and since he's flat out of cash, he'll probably ask me to lend him some money. Again.
Arwen & Eowyn: Oh...
Odeena: sigh Next, we have Heaven Leigh Casteel the 2nd - Heaven for short - and the proud Peregrin Took, better known as Pippin or Pip.
The screen shows Heaven carefully examining her dress in the mirror on one side, and Pip dancing with a broom on the other.
Arwen: giggles That is just TOO cute.
Odeena: I'll say... Our next lucky couple consists of the lovely Neniriel and the one and only Glorfindel.
The screen shows Neniriel doing some yoga meditating... thing, and Glorfindel banging his head on a song from Iron Maiden.
Eowyn: Whoa, hold on... Glorfindel is a rocker?
Arwen: I had no idea....
Odeena: Me neither... But you know, I have a thing for rockers...
Eowyn: rolls her eyes Snap out of it.
Odeena: starts Right. For our next couple, we have the proud fanfiction writer, Kendria Erleine, and the beautiful - if somewhat shy - Elrohir.
The screen shows Kendria scribbling something ona piece of paper and Elrohir saying 'I'm not shy' over and over again.
Odeena: to herself Looks like he finally took my advice and went into therapy...
Eowyn: Well, it was about time. grins
Odeena: Next come Morwen de Cearo, known also as Indil Histe, and Elrohir's brother, Elladan... known also as Rivendell's resident heart breaker.
The screen shows Morwen, reading what appears to be an old copy of Silmarillion, and Elladan, examining his already perfect hair in the mirror.
Arwen: I'll say... If I'd get a penny for every love letter he got in the past fife hundred years, I'd be richer than... eh...
Eowyn: Michael Jackson.
Arwen: I was going to say that.
Eowyn: Right.
Odeena: Our next couple may surprise some of the readers. Without anything else to add, I give you - Gollum, alias Smeagol, and Gollumna!
The screen shows Gollum and Gollumna, each perched on a rock and eating a fish.
Eowyn: Insert lots of hissing and 'My Preciouss' here.
Arwen: laughs Yeah, I'll say.
Odeena: Moving on, we have another surprising couple: Niamh, and The One with Magical Whizzing Eyebrows, Elrond!
The screen shows Niamh, concentratedly examining her closet and apparently deciding what to wear, and Elrond, doing his whizzing eyebrows act.
Arwen: Dad's going on a date. Go figure...
Eowyn: Why? He's not that bad...
Arwen: Don't bet in it. You don't know him half as much as I do.
Eowyn: If you say so...
Odeena: The next couple is already familiar to all of you from the previous 'Green Dragon Party' interlude. I give you Kekelina and The One With Too Many Names, a.k.a. Aragorn, a.k.a. Elessar, a.k.a.... OK, I think that should do for now.
The screen shows Kekelina and Aragorn toghether at the Green Dragon.
Arwen: sulkily I'm jealous...
Eowyn: Me too.
Arwen: glares What?
Odeena: I thought you and Faramir were going steady.
Eowyn: ... yeah... but... you know, old habits - and passions - die hard.
Arwen: Well, this one will die right here and right now.
Odeena: sighs, then pretends nothing happened and goes on Coming up next, my good friend and fellow author ApocalypticPyro - Pyro for short - also goes on a double date, with Rumil and Orophim of Lorien.
The screen shows Pyro on one side, enjoying herself at the Green Dragon, and Rumil and Orophim on the other, practicing bow-shooting.
Eowyn: mutters Lucky girl...
Odeena: For the next couple, we have Devie Saves, a.k.a. Linwe, and the only-too-cute Frodo!
The screen shows Linwe, affectionately looking at a picture of Frodo, and the hobbit, carefully arranging a bouquet of lillies.
Arwen: How cute!
Eowyn: Yup... Frodo's definitely the deffinition of that word.
Odeena: As for our next couple, we have Sarah and the wise and somewhat camera-shy Sam Gamgee.
The screen shows Sarah, typing something on her computer, and Sam, trying to hide his face from the camera with an old issue of FHM.
Eowyn: Sam reads FHM?
Arwen: Looks like this Interlude is going to be full of surprises...
Odeena: And speaking of surprises... Fangirls, sit down or grab something solid. Cardiacs, do NOT read further. For our last - but definitely not least - couple, we have...
Eowyn: Insert drumrolls here.
Arwen: laughs
Odeena: SpastikLeggyluver and... Legolas!
The screen shows SpastikLeggyluver, sitting in her room, which is full of Legolas posters, and Legolas, riding a horse through a crowded street.
Odeena: Well, it looks like he's a little late...
Arwen: Wait, I thought you and Legolas were--
Odeena: We are.
Arwen: So why is he going on a date with someone else?
Odeena: Well, SpastikLeggyluver promised she'd be my personal slave if I let her go out with the elf. That was just too much of an opportunity to miss.
Arwen: Oh...
Odeena: And that concludes our couple list. And now, it's time for...
Eowyn: Insert another drumroll here.
Arwen: glares Why are you saying that?
Eowyn: Because the guy that was in charge of the drumrolls ran away with a lady orc yesterday, and I took his place.
Arwen: ...lady orc...?
Odeena: ...The dates!
Eowyn: Each one of us will be stalking certain couples and catching the best moments of each date on film. Also, we will do our best to remain unnoticed, since several of the people are known for having a temper.
Odeena: glares That was my line.
Eowyn: Err... sorry?
Odeena: Anyway, we will also be joined by Rosie Gamgee, who just can't lose sight of her precious Samwise, and Azalie a.k.a. midnitest4rz, as a special delegate from the fangirls community.
Eowyn: But all this, after a short commercial break...
End of part one
Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait... Real-life stuff is piling up, and I hardly have time to BREATHE, much less do anything else. Here's the first part of the Interlude - the introduction of the couples. The next part will be packed with randomness, craziness and everything of the sort! If you have any ideas / requests / whatnot, now's the time for them.
Also, I hear that has a problem with script mode AND interactive stories, and so I might get banned if I continue to write like this. But since this is just a chapter, and not an actual story, I hope it's OK. Just in case, if I get banned, you can still read all my fanfics at my site, Starlight (www.odeena.tk), and, soon at nFiction ).
And now for the review responses:
Crystalline4: As you can see, you're sharing Faramir with Kara... don't worry, that will make for a very interesting double date!
LiL Pippin Padfoot: Thank you! :)
PirateAngel: Thank you! And by the way, I love your penname!
Kekelina: Well, I, for one, had absolutely NO idea the elf could write like that. Then again, he never ceases to surprise me... Thanks!
spastikLeggyluver: Thank you, thank you very much! Agreed, Paradise doesn't last forever... if you have any specific demands as to what you'd like to happen in the Interlude, now's the time to let me know! wink And by the way, that also applies to all of you other daters out there ;)
midnitest4rz: Well, I was beginning to wonder what's with those two reviews that didn't make sense... Anyway, most computers are evil, and don't worry, this sort of stuff happened to me, too. Stay tuned for the next part. It's gonna be wild!
hornofgondor2: I gave Leggy a cookie and a pat on the head from you, and he says thanks :)
ApocalypticPyro: As you can see, you're going out with both Haldir's brothers. That said, to make up for not being able to go with who you originally wanted... And Legolas says thanks
Omega: I also got LoK: Lifestyle up at finally..., and chapter 18 is already in the works. And congratulations, you're going on a date with Galadriel
Filia Regalis: Yup, go Mountain Dew! Just you wait for the next part... It'll be fun, that I promise you. And in the end, both of you will get... eh... don't wanna spoil the surprise now, do I?
Terreis: Well, it'd be great if I could have Daniel for... say... a week or so? puppy dog eyes Starting the very moment you read this? Pwease...? And don't worry about Haldir, he'll read his story right after the Interlude
Morwen de Cearo: Sorry that I update so slow. Like I said, real-life stuff is piling up... The cobwebs came from somewhere in the scary depths of Wumpa's room... don't ask me, I never go there . . And I absolutely know what you mean about evil little cousins... Finally, I don't know if my story will make it to top ten, since it contains bits that are written in Script Mode... is evil!). I'm planning on sending them an e-mail about this, but after that I'll probably get banned anyway, so...
shiny-chan: Well, you can be in the Interlude as a last-minute date if you want to! Let's see who's available... Merry... Celeborn... (just make sure Galadriel doesn't catch up) Gandalf and Saruman... no, forget I said that, those two are way too old for anyone... and that's about it. Let me know!