A/N: Yes, I am doing a bunch of updates at once, thank you.

"Bugger," Sirius tipped over his king. "Well, at least I didn't forfeit," the older Black teased, winking at his brother.

James gave his best innocent look, just in case anyone chose to accuse him of cheating again. Which he would deny having done, even if he had already admitted it.

"Anyway," Sirius continued, deciding that if they were ever going to talk, now was the time; "I need to talk to Regulus in private. You guys mind skiving off for a bit?"

Regulus gulped warily as Remus nodded and hauled James to his feet. "Sure thing, Padfoot. We'll be doing our homework in the common room if you need us!"

Remus dragged James toward the door, and James whispered, "Are we really?"

"Of course not," Remus replied. "Leave them alone? Do I look crazy? We'll be just outside the door."

Sirius turned to the slightly nervous Regulus; "I saw you and James during the chess match."

He wasn't sure how to start this conversation…or where to take it. Hopefully Regulus would steer it to the area that the boy needed to discuss most. Hopefully Regulus felt comfortable enough to discuss anything with him.

Regulus bit his lip. What was he supposed to say? Was there anyway to avoid this conversation? Running through his options, and deciding there weren't any, he decided to dive in. "How do you know you fancy someone?"

Outside the door, James smiled. He wasn't sure that he fancied Regulus. He was honestly too confused with everything that had happened to know what to think any more. He supposed that was why he had fancied Lily for so long, she was someone that he was attracted to (in both mind and body) and there weren't any complications. Other than Lily hating him, but that was livable. He wished he knew just how he was feeling…and whether he was straight, bi, or gay.

Sirius sighed and leaned back on his elbows, "I suppose it's different for everyone. For me…I noticed right away when I first started fancying Remus. I noticed that I wanted to be around him more than ever, that I found any excuse to touch him. I couldn't stop thinking about him, even in my sleep. I was constantly wondering what it would be like to hold him, to kiss him, to just be with him.

"It wasn't some fairy tale where I knew that if I could only have him then my life would be perfect. It was more…I knew that if he wanted me back, if he ever wrapped his arms around me, then everything could be forgotten, for just that minute. All the pains of life would still be there, but I knew that I could forget everything and just be at peace for the moment that he held me in his arms," Sirius smiled at the memory. "And I knew that if I ever had him, I would never let him go."

Sirius looked up and suddenly remembered who he was talking to and why, "Ohh…yeah." The older boy chuckled, "But I suppose that wasn't really fancying. I suppose I was in love with him from the start."

Remus smiled. He knew that feeling. He had known that having Sirius would solve his problems, but knowing he wasn't alone would make them easier to bear. He glanced at James, and easily saw the confusion written on his face. Remus sighed, for once glad that he wasn't James. He had known since he was young that he fancied other blokes. To be seventeen and just figuring that out would be considerably more difficult.

Regulus shifted his weight from foot to foot. Sirius's speech, while informative, had not helped to solve the problem. "Well, yeah, but you knew Remus before. I wouldn't want to fancy any one I know." Here he made a face. The thought of kissing Barty Crouch Junior, or worse Snape, made him want to hurl.

Sirius laughed outright, "That's good, cause I'd have to kill you," Sirius decided he'd better reword that before Regulus thought he was being threatened, "to put you out of your misery if I found out you were dating Snivellus. But you're right; I did know Remus for a long time before I fell in love with him. I guess…you'd know cause of how they made you feel. The sight of them would make your heart speed up and your breath catch in your throat. You'd want to be near him, and to touch him. And he'd turn you on."

"I never said it was a guy," Regulus blurted out in one breath. "What would make you feel like it's a guy that I'm talking about? Not, of course that it isn't…but I didn't say that it was!" Feeling like an idiot now, Regulus shut up.

Outside the door, Remus had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. The poor kid!

James frowned; he had thought that Regulus was talking about him…but…what if he was wrong. What if the boy was straight after all? James felt like his stomach had just fallen to his feet. He didn't exactly how he felt about Regulus, but…he knew how he wanted Regulus to feel about him. James turned and started down the stairs, suddenly depressed.

Inside the room Sirius was laughing, "I saw the way you were looking at James. I know exactly whom you were asking about. And it's not so bad, you know. Being with a bloke, I mean."

"Where are you going?" Remus called after him, still laughing. "I thought you'd be pleased? He's so obviously talking about you, you prat. You should hear him now."

Regulus was blushing furiously, and staring at his shoes. "Am I that obvious?" He looked up at Sirius suddenly, his blue eyes wide. "You're not mad at me for this, are you? 'Cause I really didn't mean for anything to happen! Well…not that anything has happened, but…you don't hate me more for this do you?"

James paused and looked up, "How do you know he was talking about me? What do you mean I should hear him now?" James hurried back up the stairs, smiling like an idiot.

Sirius hesitated, wanting to say the truth. "I never hated you. I just…I…I don't really mind you and James. I mean I do," Sirius gave a small snort at his own ineloquence, "I'm scared because I don't want to lose my best friend. And I don't want to lose my brother again. I'm jealous because I see how easy you two are around each other and I'm your brother and we never had that easiness. And I'm mad because I hate feeling like this. But I see how you look at each other, and I want you both to be happy. I guess I just never imagined that you would be happy together."

Sirius raised his eyes to meet his brothers, "But I know that James would give you everything you deserve, and I'm pretty sure that you would do the same for him. So I'm okay with this. I still feel scared and jealous and mad, but I'll get over it."

Remus smiled at James. How predictable. "See, he was talking about you. That's why Sirius is rambling like that."

Regulus met Sirius's gaze with considerably more ease then he had for years. "You're wrong. We had that ease, once. Even if you'd rather forget…I remember. I just…what do I tell Mother? She was heartbroken when you left. I know you don't believe it, but she was. I'm supposed to take care of her now…what am I supposed to do?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, thinking. "It's not that I'd rather forget that we had that ease…it's just hard to believe that it happened when I meet your eyes now (or at least before this pact) and all I saw was anger. Now, I'm beginning to remember what it was like, and I miss it. And Mother? I don't know. I know she was heartbroken…but if I'd have stayed there, I would have died. It was killing me to live in that house. I couldn't…they didn't want me. They wanted all these things that I could never be. I just…" Sirius looked away, trying to keep the tears in his eyes from falling, "I'm so sorry that I left you." The last was barely more than a whisper.

"You could have said good-bye," was all Regulus had to say to that. That particular wound was to fresh, to new to discuss comfortably. He shook his head as if to clear it. "You're wrong, you know. They did want you. Mother never said it to you, but if you could have heard how proud she was about everything you did…you weren't perfect. You weren't perfect, but at least you were wanted. At least she was willing to hug you. At least they would call you their son." Regulus looked down now, trying to hide the tears that threatened to come. "Why didn't you take me with you? You knew what it was like for me. You knew. Still, you left me. And you didn't look back."

Sirius looked back up at his brother, "I wanted to take you. And I did look back. I got in a huge fight with Mother, right before I left. I told her that I was leaving, that I was taking you with me. She said that she wouldn't lose both her sons. That if I took you, she'd come after us. She'd take me to court for kidnapping. You were always stronger than me, Regulus." Two small tears fell from the corners of Sirius's eyes, but he ignored them, "I knew that you could survive. I knew that it meant losing you, but I...I wasn't strong enough. I would have killed myself."

Remus stared at James, trying to see if the other boy was as shocked about all this information as he was. He'd known home for Sirius was bad, but he'd never known it had been that bad. Trying to talk to Sirius about it was like trying to talk to a broomstick. He always closed up.

"That's what I don't understand," Regulus squeaked out, suppressing a sob. "You were the one they loved. What was so bad about that? To have parents that wanted you…that actually acknowledged you existed. Even when you screwed up, they loved you. If I screw up now, I'm done for. There is no redemption for me, and you…even now if you came back they'd still give you everything! You threw away what I always wanted, and then didn't take me with you. That's why it hurt. That you had that to throw away, and I didn't. I still don't, and you didn't take me. You didn't save me. You're my big brother! That's what you're supposed to do!" He was crying now, tears racing each other down his face and splashing onto his robes and onto the ground around his feet.

James was shaking from the effort of not opening that door and wrapping Regulus in his arms. He had always known Sirius's side of events, but he'd never heard how things were for Regulus. James glanced up at Moony, "How can we stop their pain? How can we protect them?"

Sirius stood still, letting the knowledge that Regulus was right seep into his very bones. He had always known that what he had done was wrong…not leaving, but leaving Regulus behind. "I'll be your big brother now," Sirius whispered, "I can't change what I did. I do regret it, though. I should have taken you with me. I knew it even then. But…I was young. I was selfish. Still am. But I still want to be your big brother."

Sirius walked over and put his hand on Regulus's shoulder, "I know that you think I had everything, but I didn't. They only loved me because I was their heir, and that's the only reason that they'd accept me back. I know that's more than you ever had, and I'm sorry. I wish that I could go back and give you everything you needed, but I can't. I'm sorry."

Remus shook his head mutely. This was too much. Yes, being a werewolf had screwed him over, but his parents had always stood by him. He always had a home to go to if he needed it. Sirius and Regulus…they didn't have that.

Regulus chocked on a sob, and flung his arms around his brother in a tight hug. He didn't feel sixteen, but six. He needed Sirius to hold him, to tell them that things would work out. Right now, he couldn't believe it on his own. He would lose everything if he continued, but he couldn't stop if he wanted to. The uncertainty was crushing him, and he needed his brother to take it away. Like he always had before.

Sirius wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, kissing the top of his head. "We have each other now. It may not be much, but it's more than we had before." Sirius felt like he was floating…like none of this was real. He felt like he would wake up any second and have to see that hateful look in Regulus's eyes again, and he knew that he couldn't live through that. "Can we just…start over? Just let the past lie and start from now?"

Regulus nodded, sniffling into his brother's chest. "Where do we begin? We're not little kids anymore." Regulus looked up, and managed a weak smile. "Little kids don't fancy their big brother's best guy friend."

Remus snorted with laughter. He felt like crying, and deciding to laugh instead. He rather liked Regulus when he was on their side. Maybe sharing Sirius with him wouldn't be THAT bad.

James smiled, knowing that he couldn't deny that Regulus liked him after a comment like that. And he couldn't deny how that made him feel. He still didn't know what his sexual orientation was…but he'd figure it out later. After he figured out how to go about getting Regulus to be his boyfriend.

Sirius smiled back at his brother, "We take it by ear, I guess. We just…do stuff like this. We talk about guys and life and hug and laugh and play chess. We'll figure the rest out as we go."

Regulus smiled at him, and rested his head against Sirius's chest. "You realized that talking about guys is not normal brother behavior, right? I mean, not that I'm complaining. I just wanted to make you aware."

"So," Remus said, smiling at James, "satisfied now?"

"Almost," James smiled back, and then he winked. "Can we break in and hug them soon?"

Sirius shook his head, looking bewildered, "talking about blokes isn't normal brother behavior? Normal brothers don't know what they're missing!"

Remus snickered and knocked on the door. "Sirius? You done?"

Regulus laughed, breaking the hug and looking at his brother. "So…"

Sirius smiles, "What do you bet that they were outside the door the entire time listening to us?" He turned away from his brother's terrified look and yelled, "Come in!"

Remus turned the handle and came in, "well, you're not dead. That's good to know. Shall we have James and Regulus do their rematch? James thinks he's worked out a new strategy, haven't you James?"

James smiled, but inside he was cursing Remus. He knew that he'd never be able to concentrate now, knowing that Regulus fancied him. James met Regulus's eyes and smirked, "Ready to have your arse beaten again?"

"You wish," Regulus shot back, grinning, and then added on a flash of inspiration, "Jay-Jay." He didn't know what made him say that, but he found he liked it. Something about it seemed to suit James. He had found the nickname.

James laughed, "Jay-Jay?" He immediately loved the name. "You go first, Cub."

Sirius looked over at Remus, smiling slightly. He still wasn't sure that he liked the relationship that his brother and his best friend were forming, but he could never say that the two weren't cute. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and kissed his boyfriend's forehead, "I love you, Remy."

Remus smiled, cuddling up to his boyfriend's chest. "Love you too, Padfoot."

Regulus moved his pawn strategically. He had a plan, and this time he was going to win. He wasn't sure it was suddenly so important to him that he did. All he knew was that something inside him was screaming for him to win…but make the game last as long as humanly possible. Anything for an excuse to stay close to James, which he decided of course, meant that he did fancy James. He wasn't sure what to think of that, so he decided it was best not to.

James moved his pawn, and then moved his leg so that it was touching Regulus's. He wasn't trying to cheat…he just needed to touch the boy. A kind of lifeline to him while all this confusion and all these feelings were swirling around him. He needed that lifeline. Without it, he thought that he might be overwhelmed and just do something stupid…like kissing Regulus, or (on the opposite side of the spectrum) getting up to go find Lily and prove to himself that nothing had really changed. But things had changed, and it was a good change. He just had to figure out what it was, exactly, that was so different now.

Regulus swallowed, trying to ignore the touch. Obviously, James hadn't realized how he had been cheating last time. Taking a deep, trembling breath, Regulus moved his knight. He had to focus on his plan. He had to keep his head in the game.

James smiled, Regulus hadn't pulled away. He moved his bishop, "So…what did you and Sirius discuss while we were doing homework?"

On the next bed, Remus was suddenly having a coughing fit.

Sirius confused or at least pretending to be, began to pat Remus on the back.

Regulus moved his bishop to take James's. "Oh, you know, this and that. Life, the past, and things like that. Did you and Remus have fun in the common room?"

James decided that making Regulus just a bit jealous wasn't exactly cheating, was it? "Loads. The room was completely abandoned, so me and Moony had it all to our own. The couch in front of the fire is my favorite place in the school, because it's just you, the other occupants of the couch, and warm firelight." James moved his knight to take Regulus's bishop.

Regulus scowled, but convinced himself it was because of the loss of his bishop. He would now need a new plan. He moved a pawn. "Sounds cozy…to bad you're straight." He wasn't sure he'd meant to say that, but now that he had there was no turning back. He stared at the board, pretending to concentrate, and waiting for James to respond.

James froze for a moment, not knowing how to respond. He couldn't deny it, because he wasn't sure what he was at the moment. But he didn't want Regulus to think that he was completely closed off to the idea either, because then the boy would decide to move on and stop fancying him. So he said the first thing that came to his mind, "Straight things bend."

Regulus looked up, his blue eyes wide. How was he supposed to respond to that? He moved his pawn to counter James's move. "Yeah, well Remus is taken, and from what I've seen he wouldn't do anything to betray my brother."

Remus blushed from the other bed, sending James a scathing look.

James laughed, "It's alright. Rem is sweet and all, but this bloke wouldn't bend for him. Besides, him and Siri are like my brothers. I've known them too long to ever look at them like that." Hints enough? James hoped so. This wasn't about winning the chess game…this was about winning a far bigger, and better, thing than he'd ever tried to win before. This was about winning someone's affections.

Regulus didn't dare to hope that James would bend for him, only partly because he was afraid of what he'd do if he did. He captured James's castle easily, and looked up at him. "Well," he heard himself asking without really realizing it was him, "what kind would you bend for?"

James blushed. He actually blushed! He wanted to say something witty and memorable, but his mind was suddenly blank. Falling back to old habits, James's hand went to his hair and he absentmindedly messed it up while thinking. This, he was pleased to discover, saved him from answering. At the moment that they realized what he was doing, Sirius and Remus burst into laughter and James and Regulus both jumped at the sudden noise.

"It's the mighty finger comb of lust!" Sirius laughed falling over. Remus's mouth was twitching, trying not to smile. So James.

Regulus, confused, went back to studying the board. "So…your move." He wasn't sure whether he meant in chess or not, but decided it didn't matter.

James's blush deepened, "Umm…" He moved a piece on the board. He realized just then that he had absolutely nothing-intelligent left in his brain to say. So…stupidity had worked before, it might work again. "I would definitely bend for David Bowie." The second he said it, he cursed himself. Now he had something else to add to the confusion…because he was pretty sure that was a true statement.

"What on earth is a David Bowie?" Regulus asked, suddenly staring at James like he had grown a second head.

Regulus, Sirius suddenly remembered, had no exposure to things that were muggle, as David Bowie most certainly was. Between still living with their parents and being the pride of Slytherin house he wouldn't have had a chance. Sirius groaned. "My poor deprived baby brother! Remus, we must fix this while we can!"

Remus snorted, grinning behind his hand.

James smiled as Sirius jumped from the bed and pulled out a David Bowie album. He quickly pulled the record from the case and tossed the case over for his brother to look at the picture on the cover. Sirius then ran over to the record player that Remus had magically modified to work within Hogwarts and the man's angelic voice soon filled the room.

"There's such a sad love – deep in your eyes, - a kind of

Pale jewel – o-pen and close – within your eyes. I'll place the

Sky----------with-in your – eyes. There's such

Fooled heart – beating so fast – in search of

New dreams, a love that will last – within your heart. I'll place the

Moon ------------with-in your – heart.

As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you, - ev-'ry thrill has

Gone, - was-n't too much fun at all. –

But I'll be there for you, --------------- as the world falls down, as

World falls –down, fallin-ing in love, --

Mornings of gold – I'll spin you val-en-tine eve-nings, though we're

Strangers 'til now, - we're choos-ing a path- between the stars. I'll lay my

Love---------------be-tween the stars.

As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you, - ev-'ry

But I'll be there for you, --------------- as the world falls down, as

World falls –down, fallin-ing in love, --

As the world falls down,

Fall-ing in love. – as the world falls down

Makes no sense at all, --makes no sense to fall-

As the world falls down

Fall-ing in love. --- as the world falls

Fall-ing in love – as the world falls

Fall-ing in love --

Fall-ing in love. –fall-ing in love—"

There was silence for a moment after the song had finished. Regulus's eyes were wide with delight. "That's one of the best things I've ever heard! No Wizard group could ever do that." He looked back at the record cover in his hand. He grinned and, gathering all his courage, winked at James. "I can see why you'd bend for him. Is it the tight clothing or the eyeliner?"

James nearly choked, and he had to suppress the sudden need to pull the album cover out of Regulus's hands and never let the boy lay eyes on Bowie again. His brain, thankfully, informed him of the stupidity of this action and he instead laughed and answered, "Bit of both I think…but mostly it's his voice. The voice alone could send shivers down your spine like a lovers touch."

Regulus shrugged and handed the case back to Sirius. "I wouldn't know about the lover's touch thing. I can't sing. I can draw though. I love to draw. Mother says I shouldn't. It's to muggle for her, but…I can't help it. I love to do it. You know?"

Sirius smiled at his brother's small show of rebellion…and his obvious need to impress James.

James laughed, "That's better than I'm doing. I can't draw or sing." James moved another chess piece, working up the nerve to ask his next question. "Will you draw something for me?" He put on his best puppy dog eyes to complete the request.

Regulus grinned, color rising in his pale cheeks. "Sure, if you want. What would you like a picture of?" He moved his pawn strategically, hoping that James wouldn't notice.

James didn't notice. He was too busy trying to think of something for Regulus to draw him that would be just personal enough to make him feel good, but wouldn't be so personal that Regulus realized James's feelings before he had time to win the boys heart. His immediate reaction was to ask for a picture of Regulus himself, but that had to be dismissed as too personal. Then it hit James; he could get the picture of Regulus after all. All he had to do was word it right, "I want a picture of us. Of this Christmas and you, me, Sirius, and Remus all celebrating together. Something of a memento of our first Christmas being friends, and yours and Sirius's first Christmas together in too long. Hopefully it will be the first of many Christmases."

Regulus nodded, slightly dazed. That would take a bit of work, but he could do it. If James had asked him to draw himself naked, he probably would have done it- happily too, because that meant that James liked him back. As it was, he would have to do his best to make the picture the best one he'd ever made.

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius. It was obvious what James really wanted, and he'd heard Regulus confess his attraction. Why didn't he just kiss him and get it over with? He and Sirius had to play around because they hadn't known. James knew, and this was a bit ridiculous.

James smiled at Regulus's nod. He would do it! And then James would have a picture of the boy. James knew that Regulus was thinking about whether or not he fancied James, and James didn't want to push his luck too hard. He really wanted to be with this boy, and to do that, he had to convince Regulus that yes, he did really fancy James. And let Regulus know that he fancied him back. James moved a piece on the board, and then leaned back and looked at Regulus, "You can make that my Christmas present."

Sirius shook his head at his friend, he really was clueless. 'Just make a move already!' the older Black mentally screamed.

Regulus casually captured James's queen, "oh, I'll get you something else too. You said you were going to get me new seeker gloves and a book. You should get at least two presents I think. Check, by the way."

James now had a permanent smile on his face. He quickly moved his king from harms way, but it was obvious who was going to win this game. James could only really win when he distracted the smaller boy. "You don't have to get me anything else. I'm just buying your presents. You're actually making mine. That makes your gift ten times better than anything I give you."

Regulus smiled, moving his bishop and rearranging his strategy. "Don't worry about it. I love to draw. It doesn't really take work. You know what we have at home?" Regulus asked as his bishop knocked over James's pawn. "A chess set that bleeds. Sirius did it, and no one can figure out how to undo it."

James looked down at the chess set, trying to imagine bleeding pieces. "I'm glad mine doesn't. That would be cool and all, but I'd hate to clean up the mess." James moved his piece, trying to prolong the inevitable demise he would have to face. "Maybe I'll take you out for a Butterbeer in thanks for the picture then, if you insist on getting me a different Christmas present." He really tried not to make it sound like a date. It wasn't really. At least not at this point. He wouldn't ask Regulus out until he was sure that the Slytherin had decided to fancy him. He just wanted to get Regulus into the idea of spending time, just the two of them.

"Yeah," Regulus said, trying to make it sound like he could take it or leave it, "alright. Sounds good. Check."

James glared at the bored, as if his losing were all the fault of his pieces. He moved his king to safety yet again, "You know…I think I would bend for you, too." James smiled seductively up at Regulus.

Regulus knocked over one of his pieces in surprise. "Oh," he managed to stutter in a weak voice. "Really?"

"Cheater!" Remus half laughed, half yelled. "Sirius, catch your brother, he looks like he's going to faint."

"Do not," Regulus protested, moving his queen with a shaking hand. "Check."

James smiled at Regulus, ignoring Remus's words. He reached over and moved his king, then leaned forward slightly, "Would you bend for me?"

Regulus's breath was now coming in short gasps, and for a moment Remus thought he really was going to pass out. Instead, he simply breathed the word, "checkmate."

Both Sirius and Remus began to laugh.

"I'd never realized," Remus said, smiling at his boyfriend, "that checkmate could be an affirimtive answer. Check, mate. Checkmate. Your brother is clever."