The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers!

by Odeena Skywalker (alias Anne Shard)

Interlude: The Fangirls and Fellowship go steady! (Part three - The dates / 2)

And now, it's time for that part of the Interlude that everybody's been waiting for. Get ready for --

Eowyn: ...And again, there was supposed to be a drumroll here, but never mind that...

Arwen: (sweetly) If you're supposed to do the drumroll thingy, then how about doing it without complaining every step of the way?

Eowyn: I have to do it. That doesn't mean I have to actually like it, too.

Arwen: Oh, please.

-- Do you mind? I'm trying to make an announcement here!

Arwen & Eowyn: Sorry...

As I was saying, get ready for - The Hot Elves On Date!

Odeena: That's right! Now, we'll see how our resident heartbreakers are doing in entertaining their chosen dates. First off, we have Glorfindel and Neniriel. Live with them is Azalie, ready to let us in on what's going on.

The image fades to a rock opera hall, with huge posters announcing the grand premiere for Dracula: The Musical littering the walls. An impressive crowd of fans are banging their heads to the beat as Azalie, also disguised as a rocker, is trying to get closer to Glorfindel and Neniriel.

Azalie: (looks at the camera) Well, as you can see, things are pretty wild around here, and I'm ready to bet those two will have a nasty headache tomorrow morning.

The image shakes a little, showing various shoes, braids and sweaty t-shirts. As it comes back into focus, we see a close-up of Glorfindel and Neniriel, banging their heads in unison.

Neniriel: I'm getting dizzy here...

Glorfindel: That's the best part of it! (grins) Isn't it fab?

Neniriel: No, I think you missed the point... I'm getting really dizzy here, see? (stumbles) I really have to sit down somewhere...

Glorfindel: (slightly disappointed) Okay then, we take a break. Lean on me.

Neniriel: (gratefully takes Glorfindel's arm for support) Well... the whole world is spinning around me... I feel like I'm going to drop... (gives Glorfindel the thumbs-up sign) I'm having a great time.

The image fades to a weeping willow on the bank of a small pond. Haldir and Hish are sitting in the grass, both leaning against the trunk of the willow. Between them is a a bottle of Pepsi Twist with a photo of Enrique Iglesias on the label. Eowyn is spying on the duo from directly above - in other words, hanging from a thick branch of the willow.

Eowyn: (aside) I knew those fitness sessions were going to pay someday, but this is not exactly what I had in mind... (sigh)

Hish: (giggles) I had no idea you were that much fun to talk to. And we have so many things in common! For instance - I'm addicted to coffee, and now I find you're addicted to coffee as well. I like to make fun of everything, and so do you.

Haldir: My name starts with 'H', and so does yours.

Hish: Yup, that's also true. (runs a hand through her hair) This place is really cool... I wish we could stay here for... well, forever.

As Haldir opens his mouth to answer, a loud creak is heard somewhere above, followed by a muttered 'Oh, no...' - and then, by a loud yell as Eowyn comes crashing down and lands in the grass just inches from the stunned elf.

Haldir: (rhetorically) It's raining maidens. Yep, it's all clear to me now: the end of the world is coming.

Eowyn: (muffled) Elves can be so dumb sometimes...

Hish: Wait, I know that voice. You're--

Eowyn: (gets up) Well, since it's equally obvious that you know me and I know you, I won't be bothering you two anymore, so I'll be gone now. Bye-bye!

And before either Hish or Haldir can say anything, Eowyn storms off, muttering curses about 'stupid willow trees' and 'lousy assignments' all the way. As for our two datees...

Haldir: (clears his throat) So... where were we?

Hish: Well... I was saying that we could stay here forever. This has to be the best day of my life so far...

The image fades out, and then shifts to a pretty large movie theatre. Up in the last row, Pyro is sitting in between Rumil and Orophim. All three of them have their popcorn bags and paper glasses of Cola and seem to be having a great time. A few seats to the left, Arwen is working on her make-up, and seemingly ignoring everything else.

Arwen: (obviously bored) Here's what happened on this date so far. In the beginning, they did the usual typical-for-a-first-date chit-chat. After that, they settled down to watch the movie and stuffed themselves with popcorn and Cola. At one point, Orophim and Rumil started a food fight, and they were just short of being kicked out by the usher. And that's that. (yawns) This movie is terrible...

Random guy watching the movie: Hey shut up back there! We're trying to watch a movie here!

Arwen: (raises an eyebrow) Who'd want to watch such a crappy thing?

Another guy watching the movie: Dude, you're, like, totally out, y'know what I mean? This is, like, the most ballistic movie of that Vin Diesel dude ever!

Arwen: (sighs and shakes her head) You guys are so lame...

Orophim: (looks sideways at Arwen) I could've bet she was going to follow us...

Rumil: (leans forward and tries to see in the dark) Who?

Orophim: (points to his left, to a very annoyed-looking Arwen) Her.

Rumil: Oh, right!

Pyro: Who?

Rumil: Our sister, Arwen.

Yet another guy watching the movie: If you don't shut up back there, I swear to whatever lives down there that I'll come over and make you shut up!

Second guy watching the movie: Dude, that line was, like, so cool!

Orophim: (sigh) Now comes the part where my sister gets chased out by an angry mob of fans. It's happened before...

Pyro: (tries very, very hard to stifle a giggle) I can picture that out.

Meanwhile, in a slightly more conventional location - i.e., yet another expensive restaurant - Kendria and Elrohir are enjoying a quiet lunch together. The tips of Elrohir's ears are getting redder by the minute as the elf tries very, very hard to make a decent conversation partner. At another table, Odeena is scribbling something on a notepad. In front of her is a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

Odeena: Not now... I've got to write this down before I forget it... Just film the lovebirds, they've got some pretty interesting things going on...

Elrohir: So... you're saying that... you like to... err, write?

Kendria: Yup. You see, writing is like some sort of a therapy for me. For instance... (sighs) Well, to tell you the truth, I used to feel pretty nervous about this whole going out thing. And since I had no other idea on how to get over that, I thought of writing you a poem.

Elrohir: You... did?

Kendria: Uh-huh. (takes out a piece of paper) Here it is. (hands him the paper) Sorry I don't read it out loud, but I forgot my glasses at home, and I can't see very well without them.

Odeena: (voice over) Don't believe that, folks. It's just a typical excuse for the too-shy-to-read-the-stuff-you-wrote-aloud type. (thinks) That was a long compound noun, wasn't it...? (grins)

Elrohir: (takes the paper) Wow... thanks! Err...

Kendria: ...Your hands are shaking.

Elrohir: (blushes a little) They are... You see, I'm a little nervous, too.

Kendria: (puts her hand over Elrohir's and grins at the elf's surprised start) Don't worry, I'm not going to bite you or anything. Just read it, okay?

Elrohir: (sighs as the blush begins to fade away) Okay. (begins to read)

Odeena: (voice over again) If that's not romance, I'm not a writer. And that says a lot.

Elrohir: It's... very nice, thanks. Can I keep it?

Kendria: (smiles) Sure thing. (takes up her glass of champagne) Cheers!

Elrohir: (smiles back) Cheers!

Moving on, Morwen de Cearo and Elladan have chosen a slightly more interesting place for their date. Seeing as elves are usually fascinated by the sea, Elladan has invited Morwen to a long stroll on the beach. The camera follows a long set of footprints in the sand until it finally zooms in on the two, who seem to be deeply engaged in conversation. Rosie Gamgee, disguised as a fisherman, follows them in a row boat at a distance.

Morwen: So... is it true that, in the past, elves used to be able to sail to their Eternal Lands if they wanted to?

Elladan: Yes. As a matter of fact, they can still do that.

Morwen: So, if you wanted to leave, then all you'd have to do would be to hop in a boat and set sail?

Elladan: Well, it's not that simple. It is said that, to the first-born children of Ilùvatar - that is, the elves - the path will appear to be straight and easy to follow. But sometimes, our people did not manage to find the way.

Morwen: (fascinated) And what happened to them?

Elladan: (sighs) No-one knows for sure... Some ships went around the world and came back to the starting point of their journey without finding the way. Others simply disappeared.

Morwen: I see... (sighs as well) But let's not talk about it any more. It's pretty depressive, isn't it?

Elladan: Yes, I'd say it is.

Morwen: (smiles mischievously) Say, can elves swim?

Elladan: Well... sometimes...

Morwen: Great. Can you swim?

Elladan: I've never tried, but--

Morwen: Try it now!

Elladan: Now? But--

Morwen: Come on! It's going to be fun! (grabs Elladan's hand and pulls him into the water)

Elladan: But-- but--

Morwen: (turns to glare at him, hands on her hips) But what?

Elladan: My hair is going to get wet!

Morwen: (rolls her eyes) Oh, please...

Rosie: (who has been watching the entire scene through a pair of binoculars) This is getting interesting... (giggles as Morwen splashes the elf and then swims away) I wish I could swim... Good thing I've got a life jacket.

Elladan: (from the distance) All right, you, get back here! Nobody does that to me and gets away!

End of part three

Author's Note: High school is evil. Evil, I tell you. And my part-time job is getting more and more demanding by the week. However, the third part of the Interlude is finally here! (does a victory dance, Kurt Wagner style) For those of you who didn't appear in this part, don't worry - there's still one more part to come, and you will get to see your date in the end! I hope you liked this one! Pretty please review! As for the review responses...

kalathetrumpeter - The dates for all the hobbits will appear in the third and final part of the Interlude, so don't worry - you'll get to see your date. (wink) And I'm happy that your computer behaves now :)

ApocalypticPyro -Well, in the end, I had to... improvise a bit about your date, since this fic is rated PG-13, after all, and therefore alcohol and things that derive from too much of it wouldn't be that suitable for young readers. Originally, I had your part written like that, but after that I changed my mind. I hope you like what came out... if not, feel free to grab a torch and a scythe, raise a mob and come after me :)

Laer4572 - Hi there! First of all, thank you for reviewing. Haldir's story will come up after the next part of the Interlude (I think)... and yes, the elf and I will definitely be in trouble. But I don't want to give any of it away just yet!

Kekelina - First off, congrats for your Christmas present (although it's a little late for that, but still - all the LotR movies... that sounds really great!). I know how it feels like... I have all of them on VCD and I've seen each at least three times. The Gollum / Gollumna thingie was inspired by the nick of the... girl (?) who asked to date with the little fish-eater, sorry if it was a bit disgusting. (Although even Gollum should get a girl in the end! After all, he is kinda cute sometimes... nah, I'm just kidding there ). But what else could I have them do...? :)

hornofgondor2 - Oh... I can't believe I got the nickname wrong yet again. Please forgive me... To make amends, you can have Boromir for at least a... no, wait, you're already the official owner of Boromir. Dang! Anyway, I hope you'll forgive this little mishap. Won't happen again! And thanks for the Christmas presents! Oh, and the Fellowship say 'Thank you', too :)

Terreis - Yup, mental images are fun! And believe me, Elrond's eyebrows can hypnotize. When I saw FotR for the first time, at one point, I was kinda just lost and staring at his Eyebrows of Doom... and I'm not kidding. And thank you for your lovely gift! (hugs Daniel Jackson) I love you, Danny!
Legolas: (rolls eyes) Women...

Sarah - Well, you're a little late, but since Merry doesn't seem to be taken by anyone, he's all yours! (If I'm wrong, please let me know...).

Araindil - Thank you! And I love your new nickname, too!

midnitest4rZ - I made a wow to update at least one of my stories every week, so you shouldn't worry about that . And... you want to throw a party in my honor? (teardrop forms) Thank you! (hugs midnitest4rZ)

Omega XSabre - If you mean whether I'm a member on the forums at , no, I'm not... I hardly have any time to do all the things that I must do in real life, so I couldn't post that often. Maybe later... in the summer or something. And about your other question - why don't I quit - well, I can't quit because I can't disappoint all my readers here and simply walk away. Admittedly, the staff at are pretty much jerks since they have dumb restrictions (i.e. no script stories, no lists etc.) and I bet they don't care too much about the stories posted here, either, but... if they don't care, that doesn't mean that we - the authors and the readers - don't care. I hope you could see my story in the end... If not, check it out on my new site, Nevermore (at http:odeena-skywalker.tk ) ;)

spastikleggyluver - Glad to see you reviewed in the end! Since you want to kiss the elf so much... (thinks) I guess just one kiss wouldn't hurt, but you'll have to face a very jealous me afterwards :) If that's OK, then you can--
Legolas: Hold on! Don't I have a word to say in all this?
No. Go back to my homework.
Legolas: (grumbles, but does as he's told)
See? Rest asured, you'll have what you want .