Disclaimer: If I owned them you'd see this on-screen. All characters owned by ABCD, just taking the opportunity to have a little fun with them. ;)

Summary: Smack A Vange with a twist. :)

Dedication: To the members of the JANFF Group for keeping me inspired with these fun challenges!

Title: Slap Happy!

Evangeline Williamson walked to the door of Rodi's, hesitating slightly before gathering up her courage and entering. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of grease, and her face set in a scowl as she saw John and Natalie at the pool table. He was helping her to line up a shot, his hands on her hips. She giggled and turned to him, kissing his lips softly.

Evangeline didn't even think about her next actions. She walked over to the happily entwined couple and pushed John out of the way, raising her hand to slap Natalie. Unfortunately for her, Natalie had been raised with Roxy, a fact that had quickly caused her to learn the art of ducking, and several fights to defend herself during high school had given her the killer right hook Michael and John had both been on the receiving end of.

That right hook was tame compared to the punch she gave Evangeline now. She put everything she had into it, using her body to speed the momentum. As John rushed to stop them, having just now recovered from being thrown to the ground by the psycho, the older woman went flying into the pool table. Natalie tossed her hair back as John smiled admiringly at her. "She had it coming," she said simply as she linked her arm through John's and they walked out of Rodi's, stepping over the crushed remains of the pool table and Evangeline' dignity.

The next day Ms. Williamson decided to take a trip to the art gallery to try to torment RJ. Unfortunately for her, he was nowhere to be found-but Lindsay was. She met Evangeline at the door with a good hard slap. "You are the reason I lost my daughter!" Lindsay screamed at her. Evangeline's eyebrow arched as she touched her left cheek, which was still swollen from Natalie's hard punch and now hurt even worse. "Excuse me Ms. Rappaport, but in case you've forgotten Jamie Vega is Antonio's daughter. Not yours." She turned to leave and walked straight into RJ's chest.

"Well, well. If it isn't Ms. Williamson," RJ said dryly. Evangeline's eyes lit up as she pushed her breasts against his chest. Lindsay rolled her eyes and yanked her away as RJ grimaced with disgust. "Do you mind, I just had this suit cleaned!" Lindsay smirked as she pushed Evangeline out the door and slammed it behind her.

"There has to be someone who still loves me—ahh, Nora!"

An hour later Nora sat with her head in her hands as she listened to Evangeline go on and on about how horrible everyone had been to her. Finally, her control snapped. "Damn it Evangeline, not everything is about you! I just found out that my husband is not only gay, he murdered several people I cared about and all you can do is whine about John. Would you just shut the hell up!" She slapped Evangeline hard on the left cheek before storming out of the Palace.

Evangeline sulked as she rubbed her swollen, throbbing cheek. "Damn, that stings," she muttered. Just then, Evangeline turned to look at the door as she downed her martini in one gulp. Surely there had to be a man who would come in and would want to dine with a sexy woman such as herself. Just then, she saw Duke Buchanan walk in. She smirked, picturing the look that would come over Natalie's face when she saw the two of them together. She laughed silently to herself and waved him over. Duke silently groaned as he walked over to her table reluctantly.

"Good evening, Ms. Williamson." She waved the title away. "Oh please, call me Evangeline. My friend left, surely you wouldn't let me dine along would you?" Duke smirked at her. "Ma'am, I'm 22. You—well, you look to be at least fifteen years older than me. If you don't mind, I'm going to go find Adriana." He walked off.

Evangeline sat silently at the table fuming as the waitress brought her food. As she stood up to pay the check, she saw Michael walking in. As he made his way over to her he fought back the urge to groan at the angry look on her face. He started to laugh when he saw the distinct signs of numerous hits on her cheek however. "What the hell are you laughing at?" she snapped, instantly seeing she wouldn't be able to win him over. He shook his head. "Looks like people are finally starting to see you for what you really are."

She grabbed his arm as he turned to leave. "Excuse me," he replied in a perfect imitation of her snotty tone, "I think you're wrinkling my shirt." He barely made it out of the room before he burst into laughter. John and Natalie walked by hand in hand looking at him strangely. "Nat, you're obviously not the only person who has hit Evangeline lately," he said, leaving.

Natalie looked at John and they giggled as they walked past the angry woman. She stormed out of the Palace, but sadly she never saw the hole where a drain cover once had been….

THE END!