fanfic by volly
final fantasy vii (c) square enix
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chapter one: why? bleeding is breathing
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hung out to dry
what's up with that?
it's over
"Zack," he read.
The dark haired SOLDIER glanced down at the blond addressing him and smiled. "Yeah? You a new recruit? How'd you know my name?"
Cloud shrugged. "It says so on your lapel," he replied in what he hoped was a casual voice. Despite his nonchalant expression, however, he was twitching with anxiety on the inside. "How'd you know I'm a recruit?"
Zack gave a bark of a laugh. "I know everyone on these grounds, kid. You're a new face, therefore you're one of those aspiring newbies. Just-off-the-boat. Think you're gonna be as great as Sephiroth, huh?"
Cloud frowned, vaguely confused. Zack seemed much more amiable than Cloud had expected, for a SOLDIER. At the very least, he was different from Sephiroth. Sephiroth the great war general was frosty and beautiful and untouchable. Of course, that was part of the reason why he was Cloud's role model.
"I know I'm going to be," Cloud answered shortly. "And don't call me 'kid'. I have a name." It was one of Cloud's many pet peeves. He knew that he was rather short for his age. Therefore, it had grown to be a habit to bristle whenever someone implied something of his height. Besides, he wasn't a kid. He was fifteen, after all. That was far from the 'kid' ages, right?
"Really, now? Well, you don't have a nametag, kiddo, so how would I know what to call you?" Zack smirked.
Cloud scowled and Zack chuckled. "I'm Cloud. Cloud Strife."
Zack nodded. "Nice to meet you, then. Now what can I do for you, Cloud?"
"I need directions to the lobby," Cloud confessed, suddenly feeling rather embarrassed. "You're a first-class, right? Could you show me the way?" To be truthful, he picked Zack out specifically for this purpose. Zack was a first-class, yes, it said so right there on his collar, right underneath the name "Zachary Donovan". Having a first-class SOLDIER at his shoulder, like a friend, would surely make an impact when he went to register for ShinRa, wouldn't it? And perhaps he could use Zack later on, as well. Maybe to appeal for passing grades, extra tutoring, or other favors.
But suddenly he felt guilty. Zack was a human, after all, as his vibrant personality proved. Albeit a very strong and influential one. "Or...just give me instructions?"
The SOLDIER glanced at his watch. "Well, I'm running a bit short on time, but I think that I could help you find your way there. Sometimes you can get lost."
Cloud shook his head hastily. "Just give me directions..."
Zack grinned. "Hey, no problem. I'll just see you there, then fly. Come on, follow me." And before Cloud could protest further Zack had loped off, setting a brisk pace. Cloud bit his lip before hurrying to keep up, feeling progressively more shameful.
"Hey, Cloud, where'd you come from?" Zack inquired. New recruits were always rather squeamish at their first time being in Midgar, being recruited, being eligible to join the ranks of the high-and-mighty SOLDIERs. He took it upon himself to familiarize as many of the youngsters as possible with life as a ShinRa warrior; it wasn't a professional occupation, but he enjoyed it. Besides, meeting new people was fun. Most of the time.
"Nibelheim." Cloud, on the other hand, wasn't too thrilled with the prospect of a conversation. To be sure, no one was really interested in talking to him before--with the possible exception of Tifa Lockheart--and chatting with this complete stranger wasn't too high on his to-do list, even when Zack was a first-class SOLDIER. Especially when Zack was a first-class SOLDIER. First impressions were always important. If he screwed up somehow in front of a first-class, what would happen to his chances of getting into SOLDIER?
"Hn. Never heard of it. Miss life there?" Zack asked casually.
"...No. People never really liked me much." Cloud glowered at the ground, sliding his hands deeply into his pockets.
"Didn't like you much? Wonder why."
"Because they're narrow-minded bastards," Cloud growled, now growing vaguely annoyed at Zack's meddling. But Zack merely shook his head.
"Nah. I bet it's something else."
"And how would you know?"
"...you don't seem very friendly."
"Wh--what...?" Cloud seemed a bit taken aback by Zack's bluntness. Though the comment was spoken in a light-hearted manner, it was undoubtably an insult. Or at the very least, a rude assumption. Swiftly he snapped back into his usual cool demeanor. "What do you know?"
Zack gave a soft snort. "I've seen your type, Cloud. They're all around us, you know." He waved a hand at the other SOLDIERs rushing through campus to emphasize his point. "Sephiroth wanna-be's. They're all the same. Cold and stiff."
Cloud bit his lip. "So is it so bad to be like Sephiroth? Look at where he is. General. Top SOLDIER. Commander in chief of warfare."
"And is that all that matters, Cloud? Power? Status? Strength?" Zack wove his way deftly through the plethora of people and buildings. Cloud shuffled closer to avoid slipping away and drowning in the sea of downtown Midgar. "What you need to do is lighten up. I think that's the reason your friends in Nibelheim dislike you so. Maybe you've been pushing them away."
The blond visibly flinched. Zack's words, shots in the dark, struck truth. "Lighten up? Like you?"
"Yeah. It's not too hard," Zack looked down to Cloud, who walked by his side. "See, just try smiling sometime. I don't think I've seen you do it, and I don't think you've done it very much in the past. It won't kill you, you know? Look at me; I may not be in as high of a position as Sephiroth, but I'm okay, aren't I? First-class? That's still something to boast about, right?"
"Do you?"
"Do what? Brag about my rank? Yeah, I do. But, really, it's not too much of a deal when you think about it. It's not essential to life, having a high rank."
"No...I guess not..."
"Hey, look at that," Zack grinned, jutting his chin at a squat structure up ahead. "That's your place, mmkay? I'll have to leave you now."
"Oh. Okay." Cloud had barely noticed how far they'd traveled while talking. "Well, thanks, I guess," and he began to leave. Zack was nice, but his advice was a bit unsettling.
"Cloud? A few words?" Zack clapped a hand down on the younger boy's shoulder. Cloud nearly jumped. "Life isn't a competition, mmkay? You've got to relax and have fun sometimes. Being icy all the time isn't very enjoyable. I'm sure you'd have more friends in Nibelheim if you'd opened up more. Maybe even a girlfriend; I bet you look beautiful when you smile." And with a wink, he released Cloud's shoulder and turned to leave. "See you later."
And Cloud just stared.
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promise
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The stars glinted knowingly, little pinpricks of ivory against an endless navy blanket. Cloud lay flat on his back, the grass tickling his bare neck and arms and thighs. He ignored the prickly sensations, however, and fixed his gaze on the constellations of Nibelheim's midsummer night sky. Vaguely he wondered what a star would feel like if he could hold one in his palm. Maybe it'd be burning, and he'd have to drop it or it'd singe his palms.
"Stargazing, Cloud?" A wave of dark hair suddenly cascaded over his vision, followed by the pale face of a cheekily grinning young girl. Cloud blinked, then sighed.
"Hi, Tifa. What are you doing here?"
"Just watching you."
"Why?"
"Because I want to! Gods, Cloud, you're too suspicious." Tifa poked Cloud in the shoulder, giggling slightly before settling herself on the ground as well, next to her blond friend. "Does it even matter?"
"Hn." Cloud yawned.
"And you're so rude." Tifa frowned. "It's not polite to yawn in the presence of a lady, Cloud. What're you thinking about?"
"Why do you care?" Cloud mock-growled. "It's nothing to you, really." Truth be told, he rather enjoyed playful banter with Tifa like this. The girl could be cheerfully vexing at times, but she was one of his only friends, and he appreciated the times when she swung by to hang out. Especially because he was a bit of a loner, even while he was still so young.
"Come on," Tifa pressed. "Or I'll...tickle you!"
"I'm not ticklish."
"I'll find your ticklish spots, then! Teellll mee."
Cloud sighed. Sooner or later, it'd come down to this. Tifa was oh-so-famous for her stubbornness. "I was thinking about what it'd be like to hold a star." he admitted, wondering if the other youth would laugh at him.
"That's so cool!" Tifa brimmed over with enthusiasm, and Cloud watched in amusement as she squealed and clapped her hands together in childish delight. She was also famous for her habit of exaggerating every little thing that caught her interest. "Maybe you will, one day. You said you'll join SOLDIER when you grow up, right?"
He nodded. "I'll be as famous as Sephiroth!" he declared, tilting his head back up to regard the stars.
"Everyone says that."
"Well, I know that I'm going to be great one day."
"Maybe then you can touch a star," Tifa suggested, sprawling out next to Cloud and glancing up at the heavens. "SOLDIERs can do anything, can't they?"
"Yeah. They can even kill the monsters that sometimes attack the village."
Tifa shivered. "Those monsters are so scary! Sometimes I feel like they could kill me, if they got the chance..." she paused and seemed to consider something for awhile. "Cloud?"
"Huh?"
"When you get into SOLDIER, will you protect me from the monsters? Will you protect me?"
"Yeah, of course!"
"Promise?" Tifa's voice sounded a bit strange. Cloud blinked, bemused.
"Promise. I'll let you hold a star, too. If you want to," he teased, a lopsided grin on his face.
"Nah. It'd probably burn a hole in my hand." Tifa smiled, suddenly relaxing from her usual bubbly composure. She seemed much more mature than she had been before. "Thanks for the promise..."
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/promise
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Cloud closed the locker and sighed. The first day was over. Slinging his pack over his shoulder, he slid effortlessly into the flow of recruits exiting the room. The warm air hit his face like a physical blow--Midgar was suffocatingly humid. He hadn't noticed it much in the moderate morning, while walking with Zack, but it seemed that in the evenings, when the sun had sufficient enough time to bake the city, Midgar's temperature skyrocketed.
He'd jumped the first hurdle. He'd finally joined SOLDIER. He'd now a chance to be great. And yet, while Cloud plodded alongside the other recruits he didn't feel proud at all. He felt...what did he feel? It'd been awhile since he'd last listened to himself, last explored his emotions.
What had it all been about before? Just about being noticed, being powerful. Zack said that it didn't really matter, didn't he?
Then again, Zack was a first-class, Cloud mused as he entered his dormitory. Setting his possessions carelessly at the foot of his bunk, he slid onto the mattress, blankly watching his five other roommates converse amongst themselves as they set up their belongings. What were Zack's priorities when he was a recruit?
"Him? Nobody important. Just a dreamer." There was a burst of laughter, and Cloud scowled darkly at the lolling young man who dared to label him so. The adolescent's friends chortled, before one caught Cloud's pointed glare and hastily changed the subject.
Before he knew it, Cloud had slipped off his bed and was out the door. He needed a walk. Something to relieve the tension. Needed a walk alone to clear his head and sort out his thoughts, or just to familiarize himself with his new home.
Cloud winced as the heat hit him again, but shielded his eyes from the sun with a gloved hand and looked around. Midgar evenings were often crowded with SOLDIERs, as it was, alongside with morning, regarded as a sort of respite period. The thin sliver of time when military personnel working on the night shift could catch a few sips of coffee and casual conversation before work, and when those returning from duty during the day could slump into a bench and let every muscle in their Mako-enhanced body relax. He wove his way carefully through the blue uniforms and glowing eyes, some of which were fixed upon himself. Though the SOLDIERs probably didn't mean to intimidate him, the eerie, artificial luminosity seemed vaguely menacing.
It was the clashing of swords that drew him to the training hall. It sounded rather musical, really, and Cloud hesitated while exploring campus. The metallic ring of colliding blades was punctuated very loudly by a blast of a gunshot, followed quickly by another. Curiosity piqued, Cloud picked his way to the large athletic facility, where SOLDIERs and recruits alike were exercising vigorously.
He leaned against a wall, watching on with admiration before turning his gaze to the rack of weapons he'd passed upon entering the building. Guns of various fashions were stored carefully in individual shelves while cutting blades of all sizes and designs hung regally on pegs, though some were leaning carelessly against the framework.
Cloud approached the stockpile, regarding each object wonderingly. Could he try to use one? Cloud withdrew a small pistol, and bounced the handgun in one hand. Firearms didn't really appeal to him, but you had to learn them to enter SOLDIER. Sighing, he returned the pistol and cast a wary eye over the many swords.
Swords were infinitely more interesting than guns, in Cloud's opinion. SOLDIER had a wide spectrum of them, ranging from ornate broadswords to slender katanas, obvious imitations of Sephiroth's Masamune. Cloud quirked a brow at one of the few weapons not pegged up, a grotesquely large behemoth with two Materia slots adorning its blade. Gingerly he touched the roughly bandaged handle of the beast and attempted to wield it.
It was easy enough to lift it up vertically. It was not easy trying to execute a simple cut. The monster was simply too heavy for Cloud to be able to support its weight while held in a sparring position. Cloud rested the tip against the ground and sighed. The only way he'd be able to wound someone with this was if his enemy was lying flat on the ground and Cloud stabbed at him like he would a fish.
He heard a laugh and turned to see Zack standing at the doorway, a crooked grin on his face. "Having trouble, eh? The Buster's a tough weapon to use, kid."
"I'm Cloud," Cloud stressed, unable to stifle the wave of irritation that overtook him. He leaned the monstrous sword against the wall and crossed his arms, storming. "Is that too hard to remember?"
"Nah. You've a unique name." Zack chuckled, sidling up to where Cloud stood and fumed. "Hey, just ignore my little quirks, mmkay? I don't mean anything by it."
"Well...okay." Cloud watched in amazement as Zack picked up the giant of a blade and swung it one-handedly in a smooth curve to rest the weapon lightly against his steel shoulder guard. "Is that sword yours?" Zack had executed this so casually that there was no doubt of the answer, but Cloud could only continue to stare in astonishment when the first-class handled the massive blade with exceptional elegance.
"Yeah. Hey, no need to apologize," Zack added hurriedly, seeing Cloud's face redden when the younger man realized that he had been trying to wield another's weapon. "It's called a Buster Sword. Like it much?"
"I think the answer should be obvious," Cloud muttered. "I'm too weak to hold it, though."
"Weak? Nah. Just inexperienced, maybe." Zack corrected, letting a hand slam down playfully on Cloud's unruly hair. "Want me to teach you? I've still some time to kill before they call me to night duty."
The blond forced himself to ignore Zack's too-friendly gesture. Cloud detested body contact. "If it's not too much trouble?"
"Not at all." Zack grinned and rather reluctantly removed his hand. Cloud had really fluffy hair. "I must say, you're at least different from the majority of kids who wander in here. They go for the guns, most of them. Some of the die-hard Sephiroth fanboys choose a Masamune imitation, though."
As Cloud didn't really know what to reply to that, he settled for silence when Zack moved, beckoning him into the depths of the gym. The two of them slipped gingerly through the throngs of battling warriors, taking care not to interfere with their duels.
Finally Zack arrived at an open quarter. "Hey, this'll do." Twirling the Buster around so that its point was once again resting on the floor, he offered the handle to Cloud. "Here, let me show you how to hold it, mmkay?"
Cloud nodded, wrapping both hands around the bound appendage. He flinched when Zack's hands closed around his own, Zack's deft fingers arranging his grip. "Place your thumb like this, on the underside. It'll help when lifting the sword, and when you're blocking. Make sure none of your fingers overlap--you'll want to have complete control over the Buster, it can cause some accidents when you're fighting in a group."
"I can see that," Cloud remarked dryly. The Buster Sword was so large that one careless sweep could slice a teammate in half.
"Sarcastic, are we?" Cloud glanced up through blond bangs to see Zack grinning shamelessly at him. "That's a good thing. At least I know you're huma--I mean, that you have a sense of humor."
Cloud smiled and Zack laughed. "You need to start doing that more, Cloud. See, I knew you had a beautiful smile."
As soon as he realized what he was doing, however, the teenager willed the smile away, not without difficulty. Zack shook his head, but didn't seem disappointed. "Well, you're getting there."
Getting where? Cloud wanted to ask. But he didn't, for he understood, then, that it didn't really matter.
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author's notes
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Mmkay, so this is the first chapter of Smoke, as you can see. It's going to have four chapters in all, plus an epilogue. The lyrics are from Natalie Imbruglia's song "Smoke"--it's quite a nice piece; if you have the time or effort, you can try to get her CD, "Left of the Middle", from a library or something to listen to the track. x)
Er...what to say? Well, I really don't know where I'm going at with this fiction (which isn't very surprising--most of the time I don't know what I'm doing when writing any other fanfiction). All I really wanted to do, I suppose, is...just take a series of snapshots of Cloud's life with Zack. Because Cloud/Zack is the cutest FF7 pairing. In my opinion. After all, Zack died for Cloud, right? Doesn't that just scream 'romantic'? ;3
Or...maybe I'm just hopeless. / But there aren't very many Zack/Cloud fictions out there...I don't know if I'm going to have problems with this one--I'm not very good at long stories. Mainly I write short stories/drabbles, so this'll be a new thing...review?
There'll be some angst in the later chapters...this one's designed to be rather fluffy, to sate my bottomless fetish for Zack/Cloud fluff. 8D
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edited: 08-04-05
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Thanks, Sealink, for your constructive comment. :)