Burnt Sienna
Written by: Snow Illusion
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.
Summary: Beast Boy reminisces on the wonderful life he has had while scattering Terra's ashes.
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I didn't think you'd come back. I really didn't. I thoroughly convinced myself that you really were buried in that stone for eternity. I always told you I "kept the faith." That I knew you'd come back. But that was the complete opposite. I think you should know that I stayed awake late at night, with my eyes bugging, wondering, in the darkness, if you were still there, trapped behind stone. Or maybe you had died. I didn't know.
I remember the faint scent of daisies in the air. I woke up with a particular spring in my step that morning. I beat Cyborg at every video game. I sparred with Robin (even though he still won, at least I tried!). I managed to wolf down some of Starfire's concotions. I even made Raven laugh. Well, maybe not laugh. But, there was definitely a smile. I was on top of the world, and I didn't even know why. It became clear later that day, with the faint scent of daisies still lingering in the air.
A soft knock broke Beast Boy's meandering. He had done everything perfectly that day, he hadn't missed one beat. He had done everything there was to be done. He felt oddly empty and jumped at the oppurtunity to open the door. What awaited for him on the other side, however, was something that was not thought ordinary by any means.
There stood Terra, in all her glory, looking no older than the day Beast Boy let her sacrifice herself.
At first Beast Boy was in shock, ignoring the "Who y'all is at the door?" comments from Cyborg. Terra just smiled, her blonde hair billowing slightly in the sweet wind. Beast Boy stepped forward. He seemed to weigh heavier than normal, each movement he made was labored. His eyes were fixed upon Terra's. And slowly, very slowly, he lifted his hand, and, with a slight hesitance, sweeped it across Terra's high cheek bone.
"You're real," he croaked and she just continued to smile.
"You bet I am."
She squealed at the moment and wrapped her legs around his waist and before Beast Boy could even register what was going on, he was flat on his back, smothered by Terra's chapped and thin lips. But they were the softest he had ever felt, and he gladly returned the harsh kisses. It was if they were making up for lost time. At least, that's what they would say when the other Titan's found them in their compromising position.
I still laugh at that memory, Terra. It's one of the best you know.
The climb up this mountain was hard, but it was worth it. The air up here is stale, as it must've been inside your concrete tomb. It's a struggle to breathe, as it must've been inside your concrete tomb. Don't think that not for a second I wouldn't have given anything to have switched places with you. You don't know how much I wished I was there instead of you. You had so much...potential. So much life. You lost years in that volcano, Terra. Imagine what you could have done. You could have traveled the world. You could have met new people, maybe discovered the cure for cancer, I don't know, all I know is, I still feel as if it's my fault that you were encased, even though...I know it wasn't.
The happy memories outweigh the sad ones by a multitude. Even though some of your life was taken away from you, you somehow managed to give it to me. You made that spring in my step that morning. It was because of you. We had a wonderful life together, and I don't regret one minute of it.
The stars had come out especially bright that night. Beast Boy had the sickening feeling even the stars knew what he was about to do. The ratty towel lay beneath the forms of the changeling and the terrakinetic, and bunched together slightly at the point where their hands intertwined. He had no idea how long they were out there. Time seemed to stand still when he was with her.
She sighed, but didn't say anything else. Talk was not necessary between the two, they were just comforted by each other's presence.
Beast Boy took a deep breath.
"Terra, will you marry me?"
"Of course I will, silly. Why wouldn't I?"
His green fur stood on end as he bolted upright. "Terra...I just..asked you to marry me."
She propped herself on her elbows and, to Beast Boy's dismay, untangled her fingers to run them through her long and knotted hair. "I know you did," she said slowly, her eyes widening slightly.
Beast Boy's mouth was slightly agape. "This isn't just...another one of my jokes. This is serious. For real."
She nodded. "For real."
She caught his lips and let another slight sigh escape. Beast Boy cradled his cheek against her own and his mouth found his way to her small cauliflower shape of an ear. He whispered, "Terra, will you be my wife?" She giggled slightly at the warm breath playing upon her skin. She leaned foward, her lips skimming the sensitive spot behind his own elongated hearing instruments.
"Yes."
I'm laughing through the tears. Can you believe that? I'm so emotional. You would know that of all people.
Your urn is so beautiful. Mahogany. Sleek. It fits right into the palm of my hands. It's a perfect fit, much like we are to each other. The deep crevices of the hills stretch to either side of my eye sight, and what a beauty it is to behold. I feel like I'm at the Grand Canyon...but this is so much cooler than that. Layers and layers of beautiful, fragmented rock. Each it's own different color, complimenting and contrasting, creating a wonderful optical illusion of depth and bewilderment.
I promised I wouldn't scatter you alone, but I can't help it. Even the children don't understand. Our kids, Terra. Can you believe that? We have kids. Three lovely beautiful children. They wanted to scatter you in the Volcano.
In the Volcano, of all places.
I decided to play along, I knew they wouldn't let me scatter you alone. Early this morning I snuck away from the Tower and grabbed you. Almost the reverse from the first time we escaped from the tower, huh? Guess it's fate.
They'll know where I am as soon as they realize you're gone. They knew this was your favorite place. It reminded you of where you came from, and what you were striving for. Beauty and control. I hate to sound corny, but this place is you.
And I am the only one who could ever understand that.
Terra was lying on her back, sweat dripping down her cheeks. She grasped Beast Boy's hand in her own and gave a loud moan.
"C'mon, Terra, one more push, that's it," Beast Boy coached, dabbing his very pregnant wife with a washcloth with his free hand. They were in the hospital, and after god knows how many hours of labor, Terra was going to bring a life into the world.
She screamed again, and Beast Boy joined with her. "My hand, she's breaking my hand!"
The Doctor didn't seem to notice or care about Beast Boy's ailments and instead continued to encourage Terra to push harder. Beast Boy shook his head and returned his own thoughts to the situation at hand. The pain he was experiencing was nothing compared to what his wife was going through.
She collapsed backwards from her strained position, her blonde hair sweaty and sticking in her eyes and cheeks. Beast Boy tore it away and she panted as more and more waves of pain overtook her body. Beast Boy just smiled.
"I know you can do it."
A few more pushes. A few more screams. And finally, one beautiful, high-pitched shriek from the sickly green thing that had ballooned from between Terra's legs.
"That...is so disgusting."
Terra was too tired to talk and wearily lifted her arms to cradle her new-born child. She rocked him back and forth as he wailed, but he simmered down immensely as Terra's rough and calloused fingers stroked his cheek.
"That...is so disgusting," Beast Boy repeated, not being able to tear his gaze away from the revolting child. How could Terra do...was that thing living inside her...was that really his? How could the human life be considered so beautiful when it was so...disgusting?
Terra just cooed, never letting her eyes stray. "Now don't you be saying that about your son, Garfield."
And that's when it hit him. His son. He had created this human life, with Terra. There was a part of him in there...somewhere. His face split into a wide grin, and not even remains of the slimy goop the nurses had missed while cleaning up his son could not shake Beast Boy's reasoning that he had the most beautiful boy in the world.
It's getting late, Terra. The sun is setting behind the craggy boulders, splashing a harmonious gold and sultry red against my green skin. And you know how awful it looks when green clashes with red.
So, here I am. Saying my goodbye Terra. I'm saying goodbye to the good times. And I'm saying goodbye to the bad times. But most of all, I'm saying goodbye to our life, the life that we managed to build together. I'm saying goodbye to midnight kisses, and midnight fights. I'm saying goodbye to having one wild night of passion under the stars, and I'm saying goodbye to having one humble night of staying home with the kids when they were sick.
That was us, Terra. Every last bit of that life, it was us.
The two of them were much older now. Terra had somehow given birth to two more children, and now all three of them, gifted with mutation like their super hero parents, had moved away to their cities, to create their own lives. The two still resided in the Tower. It was left to them, after the other four Titans had deserted Jump City.
Nightwing and Starfire had found their way to Gotham City. Terra and Starfire still talked every now and then. They were doing well, the last time Beast Boy heard. Raven and Cyborg had bunched themselves together in a studio apartment after realizing they couldn't stand Terra and Beast Boy in the Tower.
And then it was the two of them, for life. They watched their three children grow. They watched as they themselves grew. They were nearing the end, and both of them could feel it. They were under the stars, much like that fateful night in which Beast Boy had asked for Terra's hand in marriage.
They were much wearier now, more tired. They could only stay out for a certain amount of time before they retired to their soft, therapeutic beds. But still, they lay on their backs, their fingers entwined, still as in love with each other they were the first day they met.
"You know..." Terra trailed off, and Beast Boy was much, much too tired to sit up and look at his wife, and instead squeezed her frail and arthritic ridden fingers in recognition of her statement.
"If I had to do this...all this over again..."
And Beast Boy's heart fluttered slightly against his ribcage.
"I would do it in a second."
I'm breaking down now. I can't believe it. My tired body has managed to fall upon it's knees and I'm clutching you to my chest. I didn't know it would be this hard to let you go. Why did you have to leave me, all alone? You know I can't function without you. This is our life, not mine.
I wiped away stray tears and stood to my fullest height. My strong grasp tightens and the urn opens into the night air. It's accompanied with the scent of burnt sienna.
And without a second thought, I flew my arm back, and then forward again, and there you were, in all your ashy glory, parading through the dusky sky, much like you did on your boulders. Many thought you were ruler of the earth, but no, you reigned the sky.
I watch until I can no longer distinguish the dust from the rocks.
And I stay until I can no longer smell the burnt sienna.