Warning: This chapter is R rated. If you do not feel comfortable with sex scenes please don't read the part that I havemarked as R-rated. You won't miss anything important. Unless it's sex you're after but then this doesn't concern you does it:P As to those that concider my story not rated low enough or high enough please tell me as I don't exactly get the rating thing and I would weep for days if my story got erased or angered you (which ever the case). Thanks:P
Chapter 23
Draco's thoughts were racing: Yes, Granger meant something to him that one night, yes, she meant less the next day, yes, he felt no need to speak to her and yes, he planned on going around with his own business. However Granger ignored him through out the whole week; she actually ran every time she sighted him. Draco felt impatient and what was worse, ignored.
He has never felt ignored before. Sure, most people paid attention to him in a negative way, but still they paid attention. Every single student at Hogwarts, including the first years, knew who he was and either praised him (like most Slytherins) or feared him (like the rest). So Hermione ignoring him was unacceptable and he could do nothing about it. He was powerless. He felt the need to talk to her. Firstly, because he actually felt like talking to her. Secondly, he simply needed to prove that he does exist in her world. Yes, the biggest problem was that he felt he didn't exist or that his existence was no longer as obvious as it used to be even if it was only because of Hermione Granger and his non-existence in her life.
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Lately Hermione was constantly worried about something. Harry, Ginny, Cat and of course about another person that worried her all the time: Draco. She couldn't come up with the strength to talk to him, no not talk to him, look at him even. She felt embarrassed about how she acted the other night. She knew she had done nothing wrong (well depends on the point of view: old Hermione would definitely disapprove), however she still felt she should be ashamed of something. Maybe it was the fact that she felt she had betrayed her friends that have been tormented by Draco for 6 years. Maybe she felt she betrayed herself as she was an object of Draco's remarks and evil doings as well. She didn't know. She did know however that she could not talk to him, whatever her real reasons behind it were.
During breakfast another reason for worry flew in during breakfast – it was an owl carrying a note from Hagrid.
Dear Hermione, Harry, Ron
How about having tea with me tonight? I really need your help. Be careful so that no one sees you.
Hagrid
Hermione showed the letter to Harry and Ron and they quickly decided they must see Hagrid.
Everyone was in bed when they slipped Harry's Invisibility Cloak on and headed outside. Harry and Ron felt extremely unhappy about the situation. The many times Hagrid has asked them to come to his cabin only a few had no serious consequences. Hermione was absent minded. She felt something in the air that night. Could it have been a familiar scent of a Slytherin boy sitting near by?
Hermione noticed that someone was at the lake. Could it be? Draco? She thought to herself and suddenly felt the urge to talk to him. The figure shifted and she noticed an indication of white in the black background of the lake. Not sure of what she was exactly doing she quickly and confusingly explained to Ron and Harry that she forgot to do something and that they have to go alone. She didn't intend on talking to the grey-eyed Slytherin however she felt an urge to look at him if only for a little while. Now she knew how much she missed the calm Draco that she met the other night. She needed to see him.
Draco sat looking at the lake thinking things through. He was Draco Malfoy (obviously). He was pure blooded (obviously). He was Slytherin (obviously taking in to account the other two good points). And somehow he couldn't forget about this one mudblood Gryffindor named Hermione Granger. He often sat at the lake thinking about his past and, what was more disturbing, his future. Today he thought about both already and it was time to think about Granger. Quite a new thing on his agenda but as disturbing as it was to his self esteem and his position as the mean pure blooded prince charming, thinking about Hermione brought him as much peace as it did disturbance. Something his thoughts on the future and the past could never bring. His concentration on the cool breeze that whipped his face was disturbed by the sound of footsteps followed by a familiar scent. Hermione's scent. She was here. Right behind him. He wasn't sure if it's just his imagination but just in case he spoke.
"It's late Granger. What do you want?" he asked harshly.
Hermione gasped. How did he know? She slowly emerged from behind the tree that she intended to use as a hideout and noticed Draco hasn't even turned around.
"You swallowed your tongue? Oh, yeah that's right I don't exist for you anymore" he spoke angrily
"Draco I…" Hermione didn't know what to say. She was shocked by his behaviour and by that fact that maybe he was right at being mad at her.
Actually so was Draco. He felt very angry at the girl. He wanted to scream things out. He wanted to tell her that he felt useless and as if he meant nothing to the world anymore because he was ignored by her. It was an unusual feeling reserved mostly for his father. How could anyone like Granger make him feel such intense emotions he didn't know.
He managed to get a grip. Don't do this Draco Malfoy, he thought to himself.
"Why are you here?" he asked coolly
"I was just … walking" Hermione said quietly
"Then keep on walking" he said trying really hard to sound emotionless
"Are you ok?" Hermione's voice was still quiet however full of worry. Draco noticed the sudden change from embarrassed to worry and cracked.
"What are your greatest dreams Hermione?" he asked still looking onto the lake. He didn't hear an answer so he turned around "Come on sit down and tell me" he spoke softly not even knowing why the sudden change in his attitude. He felt comforted. She showed him that at some level she cared and somehow it caught his heart.
Hermione hesitated. She didn't know what was wrong with this boy today, he was acting irrational. One minute he was good ol' Malfoy. Another minute he was getting all angry and suddenly he was nice for lack of a better word. She sat down beside him. How could she put her dreams into words?
"It's best to just start talking. Or so they say" Draco answered her thoughts
Hermione hesitated. The night was cool however not cold. It was also magical in a way. It seemed that anything could happen and so without thinking about it much further Hermione decided to go for it and just start talking. So she did. The whole atmosphere of the lake and the night made it easy. Easy to dream out loud. She talked about how she wanted to be the best witch at everything. How she wanted to get the best grades. Then she started to go deeper and talked about her carrier. Most of all she wanted to be a healer. She wanted to help people, to feel needed and skilled enough. She wanted a nice flat with a lot of books of all sorts. She wanted a big fluffy dog. Nothing much really, but somehow it meant a lot to her, and it didn't seem trivial at the moment. The lake made everything she said significant and possible.
Draco listened quietly still looking persistently at the lake with his cool grey eyes. When she finished he said nothing. The silence made Hermione uncomfortable so she pulled her skirt down in order to do something with her hands. She noticed that Draco seemed totally unaware of the silence between them.
"What about you Draco? What are your dreams" Hermione asked politely
Draco sat silently for a while before he answered
"I don't have any"
"That's impossible. Everyone has dreams" Hermione said with a slight smile.
"I don't. That's why I like listening to other people's dreams. Some are absolutely ridicules" at these words Hermione started feeling uneasy, she thought maybe he was talking about her. "some impossible and silly. Some impossible and interesting. Yours are beautiful in their simplicity." He finished. Hermione was rendered speechless. She couldn't take her eyes of this boy she had just met although he showed no interest in looking at her. His grey sad eyes reflected the pitch black lake and seemed to reflect his unhappy soul too. She wanted to make some of his worries go away. Not all though, because would he be the same Draco without them? Would his eyes be so beautifully rough and cool? she thought to herself. She neared her face to his. He felt her breath on his cheek and involuntarily closed his eyes took in a sharp breath. Hermione's lips were now very close to his face. She wanted to feel his pale cold skin again. There was something unbelievably irresistible about this boy that seemed more like a man to her now. "Don't" he spoke letting his breath go "I don't know what I might do Nie." As he called her that Hermione sank deeper in to her need to touch him. Not necessarily kiss him. It wasn't important how she touched him. However her lips were the most sensitive and best for the job. This way she could feel the most of him. She didn't back away. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her. He wanted to look away again but he couldn't. Her brown eyes were so intoxicating.
They stayed like this for a long time. For a while is a more appropriate word as time does not count in moments like these. Hours pass as if they were seconds.
There were no thoughts in their heads only a great fear that this may end. A breeze came and Hermione suddenly shuddered. Draco felt drawn to the tiny girl beside him. She was obviously cold and all he wanted to do was to give her all the warmth still left in his body. Not his heart. His heart had no warmth left. Or did it? He moved up closer and put his arm around her waist. She felt she couldn't take it anymore. Under his hands she felt perfect. He was perfect and for the first time so was she. She leaned in and kissed him softly. Once again Draco inhaled sharply and closed his eyes. Hermione couldn't stop herself thinking about how beautiful he looked when he did that. How wonderful it felt that he did that because she was close. Maybe to close.
R-rating
Draco could no longer restrain himself. He kissed her. It was a deep slow kiss that shot electricity and a prickling sensation all over her body. She responded. Harder. He pushed on.
He started untying her robes. She didn't even hesitate and did the same. They took each other's clothes off. Slowly at first then more and more quickly as if they couldn't wait. Hermione left Draco in his boxers as she felt it wrong to go any further. He left her with nothing to cover here except for her baby blue knickers.
Draco felt Hermione's body go very cold. He pulled her away and saw how pale she was.
"Freezing" she said quietly and shivered more intensely. When she spoke her lips left traces of mist in the air. "I'll freeze"
"I'll freeze with you" Draco answered. He seemed totally unmoved by the temperature he was so caught up in the moment. He started kissing her body. Slowly. Starting from her neck where he left soft kisses, venturing on to her breasts which he encircled with his tongue, and stopping at her stomach in order to look up. Hermione was lying on their robes. Eyes closed. Lips slightly open.
Draco was proud of his effect on her. As he was contemplating on that she opened her eyes and looked at him obviously checking what had made it stop. He smiled at her teasingly and moved up. His lips quickly met hers once again. Hermione felt bewildered. She never knew anything could feel like this. She's kissed boys before (Fred and Brian her next door neighbour that is) but it never felt anything like this. Her body experienced countless electric charges and shivers not brought up by the cold air. More was yet to come. She realised Draco was at her stomach again slowly moving down. She stiffened and opened her eyes rapidly. Draco noticed this and moved up to her again. He hugged her and turned her around so she was facing him and lying on her side. He started to slowly touch her back sliding his hand up and down. He looked in to her eyes and saw a little inkling of fear. He kissed her forehead and held her close for some time to make her calm down. Then started his 'teasing Hermione' trip again. She relaxed and let herself sink into his kisses. She felt his hand slip into her knickers. She stiffened for a second only to relax as his kisses became more intense.
Let it go Hermione. Just let it go. So she did. She let it go when his finger started teasing her inside. She let go when he started moving it faster and faster. She stiffened a little when the finger was joined by another two and she felt a slight shot of pain. At that Draco started kissing her even more intensely. Then she realised his other hand was teasing her breast for quite some time now. She felt peaceful once again. Safe in his arm and with his kisses. She found that relaxation brought many more shivers and much more pleasure. Let him do this.
It felt right. How could it ever feel wrong? How could being so close to Draco ever feel wrong? Everything he did was right. Every single move made her feel intense pleasure. Then Draco suddenly stopped. He shifted and started taking his boxers of. She opened her eyes and looked at him. Draco saw millions of things in her eyes at that moment. Later in his life he could never explain how that was possible. It was just one of those moments when you understand what the other person is saying by just looking into their eyes. Hermione's eyes showed panic and fear. However they also showed stubbornness. She wanted this to happen and would never forgive him if he stopped and asked her if she was ok. This would mean she could say 'no'. She didn't want to say 'no'. She didn't want him to speak. He kept quiet. Silently looking at into her big brown eyes.
"Draco" she said quietly. He looked at her questions in his eyes. She didn't answer to his look so he moved up to face her again. His face was almost touching hers. "I'm scared" she said her lips shivering and leaving more mist marks in the cool air than before. He smiled to her and started taking her hair back. He leaned in and kissed her behind her ear.
"I know" he whispered.
That was it. Nothing more could or should have been said. It was enough. He knew. He wouldn't hurt her.
She kissed him softly and gave him one more scared look. He smiled again. Let it go Hermione. Once again she did. She let him enter her. For her it was a vast amount of pain as if he was ripping her apart from the inside. For him it was ecstatic with only an inkling of pain. He moved in slowly biting his lip as he almost felt the pain that he saw on Hermione's face.
He caught her face in his hands. "Look at me" he ordered considerately. She opened her eyes. Those brown eyes. He saw tears instantly flooding out of them. Touching her soft skin was like touching silk on a sculpture. Giving her pleasure, before, made him feel like he could do anything. Kissing her lips was like kissing love itself. Now, giving her pain was torture no matter how physically arousing the whole act was. He knew he had to go on. So he did and slowly with time she started to relax a little.
This lasted not for a minute, not for an hour, not for a day but for a second. At least to them. And with time Hermione started to relax more and more. She started to enjoy him inside her through the pain. Her tears dried out. Her breathe became faster and faster. It was perfect. It was perfect in spite of the cold. It was perfect in spite of the fact that at some point she had to tell Draco that she can't to this anymore as she was sore. It was perfect in spite of the fact that it was Draco. Actually it was perfect b because /b it was Draco. Draco Malfoy the poor blooded bastard and prince charming. Draco.
R-rating end
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Draco and Hermione didn't sleep at all that night. They hugged under their robes and looked at each other until the early morning hours unaware of the cold surrounding them. Her eyes were still intoxicating. His still irresistible.
They talked very little. From time to time Hermione voiced another dream she thought of at the moment and Draco listened thinking he will never want to hear anyone else's dreams. That night nothing mattered. Not his past, not his future. Nothing, but the new thing on his agenda: Hermione Granger.
"Why don't you have any dreams?" she asked not really believing it to be true
"Many reasons. It's easier. I won't be disappointed. Mainly I'm not allowed to have any" he answered smiling to her as if he wanted to say 'why talk about me silly?'.
"You must have some dreams. What do you mean you're not allowed to have any? That's what's so great about having them no one can take them away form you" Hermione said sounding surprised and worried
"Trust me I'm a hopeless case. I can't have dreams. Nie drop it. Please" he said the last word a little to harshly and Hermione flinched. Just as she was about to answer she heard voices behind her. She gasped.
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Ron and Harry were exhausted. They spent the whole night at Hagrid's. What they went through was terrifying. It seemed some people (meaning Hagrid) will never learn.
"HONESTLY Harry out of all the teas Hermione attended I can't believe she missed this one. With her help we could have been out of there earlier." Ron paused for a moment "Then again maybe not." Ron shuddered at the thought of the night that just passed
"Come on Ron she said she forgot some – " Harry stopped talking the moment her noticed two people rapidly putting their clothes on at the lake shore "what the hell?"
Ron looked at the lake and gasped
"Hermi – Dra – Herm – HARRY!" he stuttered
"Shh, Ron come" Harry tried to pull his friend away
"The hell I will. Enough is enough. Why is she talking to Draco when she should be with US at Hagrid's having the worst night of her life" Ron said angrily and ran in their direction before he could hear Harry say
"I don't think they were talking Ron… " Harry gave up as he realised his friend was too shocked to admit the information that Hermione and Draco were doing anything else then talking into his mind.
"Draco move faster will you! Faster! Where's my bra?" Hermione was panicking
"Faster? If you talk to me like that next time we make love I won't protest" Draco smiled. Hermione shot him an angry look which instantly changed to a fake smile as she turned around to Ron who just reached them breathing hard.
"Hello Ron" she said happily
"What – are – you – and – YOU "he pointed to Draco "doing here" he managed to catch his breath with the last words.
"We were out having a walk" Hermione said without a blink of an eye
"A walk ey?" Harry just reached the party and commented sarcastically
"I can't believe YOU were 'walking' with HIM when we were " he looked at Draco "doing whatever we were doing at Hagrid's" Ron finished less confidently
"Gee now I really don't want to know what you were always doing at Hagrid's. Sounds intimate" Draco said mockingly and Hermione once again shot him an angry look which he simply shrugged off.
"Ron I'm so-" she stopped as she realised what Ron was looking at. It was her bra.
Ron's eyes shot from the bra to Hermione, back to the bra, then to Draco and finally back at Hermione again. His eyes suddenly showed an indication of enlightment.
"Rapist" Ron spat out then threw himself at Draco.
o-o-o-o
Notes: Hope u like this! Really do. I hope I havn't insulted anyone. If I have please tell me before you report and I will remove the sex :D Please do so as I don't backup my work and I will be really sad if it would all be simply erased. (I should really back up I know). I would do it by my computer keeps breaking down so I lose it all the time and it's getting annoying. (I'm special everything breaks when I'm around :D)
This is the first version. I will send this to my beta (I HAVE A BEAT! – ok I just wrote beat. I do have the beat as well but I also have a BETA! YEAH! – I'm lame I know :D ) and redo it if necessary. I know I should wait for the feedback but I CAN'T. I feel guilty for making you guys wait so long but I don't have as much time as I used to have.
Anyway if you have any suggestions : they're welcome. If you have critical points : they're welcome too. If you want to tell me how wonderful I am : YOU are mostly welcome :D
If you think Draco is nice just wait. Also I do appolagize if you don't like the sex scene but I really suck at writing them. I have mentioned this before. Plus I'm always confused by the ratings. I don't get them.
Me trying though:D
Right thanks you : to all my reviewers (RA next!) and to my beta LUNA LUCK. You're the best.
RA:
Melissa: Thank you! I really really really really love you for reviewing and saying this! Thanks to you I won't die of depression! You saved my life:D I know u care about the fic more anyway (kidding – but you do don't you:p). So here you go… a whole chapter on Draco and Hermione. Hope it lives up to the expectations! Thank you so much once again.
Lurv2boogie: Thank you! I lurve to boogie too :D Thanks for telling me what a disclaimer does. I do think putting it in is kind of extreme but it's better to be save then sorry right? You don't think I'm bad at the sex scenes? Wow thanks! I do hope this chapter won't change your mind then :D. So I have tried again (as you have noticed) and I will try once again (probably) but as this is slowly ending I don't think I'll have time for more. Thanks again! You're great!
Burningfire666: Quite a penname you got there:D I like the story as well :p (duh!). Thanks for the review! And I have updated!
To all: Thank you! You guys make me smile every time I see a new review! I don't need a lot of reviews I just like to know if somebody's reading. :D So thank you this means the world to me!
Faithful