Title: Elevator Confessions

Rating: T for brief language, but otherwise Chapter 1 just some lighter fun stuff. McAbby implied. Chapter 2 may be a bit more serious. Haven't yet decided if there will be a Chapter 3. Chapters are self-contained just in case though. ;)

Disclaimer: Tony, McGee, Gibbs, Kate, Ducky, Palmer, Ziva, Abby, and Ari are not my characters. I'm just borrowing them for a couple of minutes at a time...

Summary: Gibbs tries a new strategy on his bickering boys.

Author's Note: Takes in McGee's first year with the team, pre-Twilight. This chapter was also posted previously at Friends of NCIS ezboard, in case anyone thinks it looks familiar. It is mine, with some slight modifications. Chapter 2, and any others that may or may not follow, are new and haven't been posted anywhere else.

Tony and Tim

"That settles it," Tony said, as he sat down on the floor with a heavy sigh. "I'm officially in hell."

"You're in hell?" McGee asked, plunking himself down on the floor across from Tony. Then, shaking his head, McGee muttered to himself, "I knew I should have taken the stairs."

"So why didn't you Probie?" Tony asked, annoyance in his voice. McGee glared at him. "Temporary lapse of good judgement. And if you call me Probie again, I'm gonna either hurt you, or die trying."

Tony grumbled a response that was neither audible, nor especially intelligible. "Can't you fix this McGee?" he asked. "Or, don't they offer "elevator repair" at MIT?"

"No, DiNozzo, they don't. Unfortunately, they don't offer "how to shut up your annoying colleagues" either." Tony made a face, McGee shot one back, crossing his eyes for good measure, which prompted Tony to stick out his tongue, causing McGee to raise his hands, thumbs outstretched, to his ears…

Tony was about to raise his outstretched thumb to the tip of his nose, but suddenly couldn't help it - he laughed in spite of himself. "We're grown men, right McGee?" McGee chuckled. "That's what they tell us. Unless, of course, you're asking Kate." Tony smiled and nodded, then his face was suddenly crossed with a contemplative look. "I wonder how long it would take Gibbs to boot our asses from the team if he saw us behaving like this?" Tony asked. McGee paused a moment to think, then replied, "I don't think my watch measures time that quickly. Anyway," McGee continued, "he might just boot our asses for being UA from the office."

"So," Tony said, surveying their surroundings, "I wonder if anyone knows we're missing? Does your cell work in here?" McGee checked. "Nope, looks like the signal's blocked. Yours?" Tony gave him an ironic look. "I don't know. It probably does. Too bad it's on my desk… Heeeeeyyyy… McGee, didn't you say you had a date with Abby tonight?"

McGee's face lit up. "Yeah, I did. You know she hates to be stood up. Not that I've ever personally done that to her of course… so she'll either be righteously pissed when I don't show up…" he said, as Tony's eyes lit up, and he raised a finger in the air, and finished, "… OR! She'll know something's up because you never stand her up! McGee, that's brilliant! What time was your date anyway?"

McGee looked at his watch and his face fell. He sighed heavily as he said, "2100. Not for another 6 hours." Tony rolled his eyes. "2100? Are you sure? That's kinda late, isn't it?" McGee raised an eyebrow at him. "Tony, this is Abby we're talking about. At 2100 her evening is just getting underway. Yeah, I'm sure." Tony grimaced. "Damn," he said simply.

"Well," said McGee, thinking, "Surely maintenance would be called when it's discovered that the elevator crapped out… wouldn't they?" Tony thought a moment. "Maybe… but I'm not sure if they're even here today. Sunday is pretty quiet. Not many people around. We're only here because Gibbs called us in to work this case. You know, you should wear jeans to work more often, McGee. You look right sharpish… Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyy…!" Tony said suddenly, as something occurred to him. McGee raised an eyebrow. "Now what…? Oh, wait. GIBBS! Now, he's gonna be pissed when we don't show up in the office! Question is, do we want him to find us, or not?" Tony laughed triumphantly, and jabbed his finger in the air, pointing it towards McGee. "YES! Now you're thinkin' like an NCIS Agent! Anticipate, McGee, anticipate!" Tony paused and sighed dramatically. "Awww," he said as he dried a non-existent tear, "my little boy is growing up." He paused a moment to gather his thoughts, as McGee fired him a dirty look. "Okay, now you do have a point. Maybe we're not in hell yet after all. But, he's gotta understand that we're not exactly stuck in here by choice, right?" McGee snickered. "I would hope so. Then again, we are talking about Gibbs here."

McGee took a moment to study their surroundings. "Well," said McGee finally, "I don't know, maybe we're not stuck in here." Tony looked up. "I wonder how high up that is?" McGee looked up as well. "I don't know. Is that even an option?" Tony gave McGee a look, sizing him up. "One way to find out. You're the same height as me, right? Around six-one?" McGee nodded, then narrowed his eyes at Tony. "Oh, no, DiNozzo. You're not standing on my shoulders. And I'm sure as hell not standing on yours."

"Well, then… what about this panel. Can you crack it open and hotwire it or something?" McGee cocked his head at Tony. "I don't know, Tony. How would I look with a 'fro? Those are live circuits dwelling inside that thing. You wanna give it a whirl though, go ahead. It's been a slice Anthony, I'll miss your smiling face."

Tony was about to fire back a response that started with "Timothy," but had his thought interrupted as they both stopped a moment to listen to something that neither were sure they were hearing. "Is that Gibbs yelling?" McGee asked. Tony shrugged. "I don't know. I was hoping it was just that voice inside my head. But if you hear it too… either he's out there and ready to kill us both, or we both just had the cheese slide off our crackers."

McGee grinned briefly at that, then said, "He seems to have that effect on both of us." Then he sat back down heavily, sighing in frustration. Tony took one last look around, then followed suit.

"So," Tony started, thinking that they might as well pass the time with conversation, "what were the plans tonight anyway? Gonna get up close and personal with some of Abby's tats?" McGee levelled a look at him. "I guess you've never understood the concept that a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell?" Tony grinned and winked. "Who said I'm a gentleman?" McGee snorted and shook his head. "Wasn't me." Tony grinned. "So, you never did say if she's got any on her, you know, caboose." McGee smiled sweetly. "You know what, let me fill you in on a little secret," he said mysteriously. Tony leaned forward, his face lit up with gleeful anticipation. McGee leaned forward as well, and whispered, "I still don't say." Tony sat back with a look of disgust. "That's just wrong McGee. Gettin' a guy's hopes up like that. All wrong." McGee leaned back against the wall and wrapped his arms around his drawn-up legs. He gave Tony a smug little grin. "You wanna know that, Tony, you're gonna have to track down one of her ex-boyfriends. Of course, with Abby, she pretty much has a new tat a couple of times a year… so they might not be of much help to you."

Tony sat back and snickered, thinking a change of subject was in order. "You don't get out much do you McGee?" McGee smiled sweetly. "I get out plenty, Tony. Just not with plenty of women. Maybe that's part of your problem." Tony looked at him, scowling. "What problem? I don't have a problem." McGee crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at his colleague, giving him a skeptical look. "Tony, in a room full of dozens of beautiful women, you will always, without fail, zoom in on the one that's a psycho stalker, and hit on her. Then you get to spend the next two months of your life sleeping with your Sig under your pillow and one eye open." Tony chuckled slightly, shrugging. "What can I say McGee. I have a knack… but in that room full of beautiful women, even I can admit that most of them will be attracted to at least one of us. And the rest of them will probably be gay, and attracted to each other." McGee laughed out loud, and shook his head. "It's a respect thing, Tony. I respect women, and as such, I attract respectable women. You, on the other hand… still have some learning to do." Tony nodded sadly, then looked up and grinned mischievously. "I won't deny that, but being like me is just so much FUN!"

"If you call being stalked "fun" then more power to ya, Tony." Tony stood up and stretched. "So, you're saying, I could take some lessons from you then, huh? While you're learning how to be a kickass agent, I can learn how to be a gentleman?" McGee sighed and smiled. "Something like that, I guess. But I'm a fast learner," he added, winking at Tony. "That you are, McGee, that you are. You know, you really are a good agent. I guess I never told you that, did I? I'd trust you to have my back anytime now." McGee fired him a questioning look. "Really?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah, McGee, really. You're a lot smarter than I was when I was a probie." McGee stood up and stretched as well. "Well, I'm smarter than you in SOME ways, but in others, I'm still learning a lot from you, too. Maybe we have much to learn from each other." Tony braced his back against the wall and slid back down to the floor, settling down again. "So, there it is. The cat's outta the bag. I like you McGee. There, I said it. Jig is up." McGee sat back down as well. "Well, I like you too, Tony, God help me. Just don't tell Kate. I think she likes to see us bicker." Tony chuckled softly, and said, "Yeah, fond memories of growing up with her psycho brothers. She did compare us to them once. I think we give her the warm and fuzzies."

The two men sat silently for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts. "Hey, when was Gibbs' last refill, on his coffee I mean?" McGee asked suddenly. "He's gonna need the elevator if he wants a fresh cup, right? He wouldn't just take the stairs?" Tony thought a moment, then smiled. "No, he wouldn't. Takes too much time. I think he was just starting a fresh one when we headed in here." McGee grinned triumphantly. "So, Gibbs will soon discover that the elevator doesn't work. That's the good news." Tony nodded, and said, "and the bad news is that when he DOES get this thing open, he'll already be down a quart." McGee nodded. "Yup. But, we're big guys, right? We're both taller than Gibbs." He was obviously trying to convince himself of something. Tony rubbed his chin as a sweetly diabolical expression crossed his face. "Hah hah! You're right! We are big guys. Normally, he'd be able to take us, individually. But, this time, we're two against one." Tony's voice took on a cocky, confident tone, as he scooted over to where McGee was sitting and draped an arm around his shoulders. "Hell yeah, we can take him down easy if we have…"

Just then, the doors opened, and a grouchy looking Jethro Gibbs stood glaring at them. He gave his two agents an evil grin. "Take who down, Tony?" McGee and Tony exchanged a look, then scrambled to their feet. "Oh, look,that's where my cell phone got to," Tony said, rushing past Gibbs. Thinking quickly, McGee smiled suddenly and gingerly took the empty cup from Gibbs' hand. "There you are Boss, I was just about to refill that for you," he said, backing up into the elevator again. "Black, extra large, right?" The elevator doors closed and Gibbs shook his head, as the elevator descended without incident to ground level.

Gibbs grinned to himself, and chuckled. Leaving them in there for a spell was character building, and they hadn't killed each other - in fact, he was pretty sure he'd opened the doors just in time to see some brotherly bonding. He was still smiling to himself as he thought about how Abby had shown him how to bring it to a halt from the outside panel. "Just make sure you get McGee outta there before 1930. We've got a date at 2100 and I want him to have lots of time to go home and pretty himself up for me." Gibbs' eyes sparkled as he thought that he'd have to remember to thank Kate for suggesting this. Who said working Sundays had to be a drag?