Once again Pyro burned down the disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Well I just had this mad little one shot in mind because I really haven't done enough with everybody's favorite Australian Pyromaniac. That's what Pyro said before he threatened to burn my coffee.
Burning Love, Burning Lawns
"I can't believe that we have to search all through this stupid park all day!" Pietro grumbled to the rest of the Misfits as he zipped back.
"Pietro you heard General Hawk," Althea told him with as much patience as she could muster. "There was a threat of a mutant terrorist attack today and we have to check it out."
"I'll bet it was a false alarm," Pietro folded his arms. "I mean who calls in a terrorist attack and tells you exactly where it's going to be? It's like they either want to waste your time for something that's not going to happen or they want to get caught!"
"We can't take that chance Pietro," Angelica told him as she landed. "I scouted the south perimeter. Nothing."
"I have to admit its unusually quiet," Fred scratched his head. "I haven't been able to find a hot dog vendor."
"Why don't you just go into your stash if you're hungry?" Todd asked.
"It's too early," Fred told him. "I'm trying to conserve food."
"Good idea Blob," Lance said sarcastically. "You only ate before we got here. It could be at least two hours before you'll have a chance to eat again."
"Are we talking two whole hours or are you rounding up?" Fred asked.
"You guys are pathetic," Lance groaned. Then he saw something. "Hey, I'll bet Kitty would like those flowers!"
"No wonder none of the adults wanted to come," Althea grumbled.
The communicator squawked. "Guys I think I found something," Lina's voice could be heard. "In the east section near the pond. You'd better get here."
"What is it, Dragonfly?" Althea asked.
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," Lina said. "Heck I'm looking at it and I don't believe it."
"We'd better get over there," Althea said. The rest of the Misfits ran to the coordinates transmitted to them. It didn't take them long to find what Lina had seen. "Holy…"
"Is that what I think it is?" Wanda's jaw dropped.
"I don't know, what is it?" Lina asked as she landed next to them.
"Like a new opportunity for me to be totally humiliated," Angelica winced.
In front of them was a large stage covered in glitter cutouts of Angelica. There was a huge sign saying WELCOME TO THE FIRESTAR SHOW! A small crowd had gathered in front of it. Then a large puff of smoke exploded onto the stage.
"What the heck…?" Todd blinked.
"HEELLOOOO EVERYONE!" Pyro had appeared. "AND WELCOME TO THE FIRESTAR REVIEW!" He created a large group of flaming men. "HIT IT BOYS!"
"Hooray for Firestar!" The fire chorus line began to sing. "That wonderful fantastic just plain amazing Firestar!"
"Oh god no…" Angelica was becoming very embarrassed very fast.
"F-I-R-E-S-T-A-R! FIRESTAR! THE AMAZING FIRESTAR!" The fire chorus sang with Pyro and danced around onstage.
"A musical tribute to impress a girl," Wanda groaned. "Yeah that's new!"
"The fire chorus line is a different twist," Todd pointed out. "Okay we've had fires before but…"
"I wonder if I can get that guy over there to give me a copy of his video?" Arcade pointed out to the crowd. "Or that lady or…" Wanda glared at him. "Or not."
"This is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me," Angelica groaned.
"Really?" Todd asked. "Even more than the time Avalanche saw you naked?"
"Or when you got outed as a mutant and accidentally burned down your high school?" Xi added.
"Or…" Arcade began.
"OKAY! SO MAYBE IT'S NOT THE MOST EMBARASSING THING BUT IT'S STILL IN THE TOP TEN!" Angelica shouted at them.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Pyro stood in the middle of the stage, blowing kisses after he finished his number. "You've been a wonderful audience!"
"This is the mutant terrorist attack?" Pietro asked. "This is the reason I'm missing an all day marathon of America's Next Top Model?"
"Yeah like there won't be another one of those," Todd rolled his eyes.
"What are you doing here Pyro?" Angelica asked.
"I knew you'd come here Firestar!" Pyro grinned cheerfully as he hopped down from the stage. "I knew if I set out that false alarm you'd show up! Did you like it? Did you like my tribute to you?"
"Looks like somebody's gas grill isn't lit all the way," Fred whispered to Todd who nodded.
"Let me get this straight," Lance looked at Pyro. "You called in a false terror attack to make sure we'd show up so you could impress Firestar? Do you realize how insane that is?"
"You know you guys were a lot more fun before you wimped out and went to work for the GI Joeys?" Pyro snapped. "Don't you remember all the good times we had? We used to burn stuff and melt stuff and burn some more stuff!"
"Well we would be burning and melting stuff now if this was a real attack!" Todd snapped. "Thanks a lot for getting our hopes up!"
"Yeah," Fred agreed. "I haven't crushed a car in over a week."
"Didn't you put a dent in Jean's SUV?" Wanda asked.
"Yeah but that don't count," Fred told her. "I thought she had some Twinkies hiding in the back seat and I accidentally leaned on the inside of the car a little too hard."
"You know I could go for some Twinkies," Pyro remarked. "Anybody got some?"
"No, but I have some Twizzlers in my pocket," Fred reached to get them.
"BLOB!" Althea snapped. "As much as I'd hate to interrupt the Reunion of the Brain Trust Society, we kind of have to get going…"
"No! Wait! I haven't done the big finish!" Pyro held up his hands.
"Big finish?" Angelica blinked. "Please say you are not going to burn down the park!"
"You know I considered that, but I didn't want anyone to think I was copying the X-Men," Pyro said. "But I thought of something better!" He jumped onstage again and took out a remote control. "Here we go!"
A small fleet of miniature red planes flew over the stage and into the air. They wrote I LOVE FIRESTAR in huge letters in the sky. Then Pyro started up his show again as sparklers shot up from the stage. "One! Firestar sensation! Everybody knows she's great!" The fire chorus line sang and danced around as more pictures of Angelica popped out.
"This is a nightmare…" Angelica groaned as Pyro and his fiery friends sang and danced. "I can't believe Magneto let him do this!"
"Magneto would let him do anything in order to get rid of him for a few hours," Pietro told her. "Trust me on this."
"Why do we not just arrest him?" Xi asked.
"Because Xi," Lance sighed. "If we do, there's a very good possibility he'd be assigned to us."
"Yeah finding out Magneto's location is not worth a lifetime of being stuck with him!" Wanda agreed.
"Ah," Xi understood. "And killing him is out of the question right?"
"Why don't we leave that option open?" Angelica groaned. "In fact I think I'll do it right now!" She leapt up on stage. "KNOCK IT OFF YOU LUNATIC!"
"Firestar! You do care!" Pyro said gleefully. "OW!"
"Well Pyro wasn't lying completely," Fred remarked as the Misfits watched Angelica beat the stuffing out of Pyro. "There was a mutant attack today."
"Yeah but the wrong mutant is attacking," Lance corrected him. "But to be fair the party she's attacking isn't exactly innocent."
"Oh that has got to hurt," Arcade winced.
"Not as much as that," Todd told him. "Or that."
"And that has got to be illegal," Pietro looked very uncomfortable.
"Well maybe in this state but not in Texas," Fred told him.
"OH MOMMA NOOOOO!"
"Okay that's illegal in Texas," Fred gulped.
"I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! GOT IT?" Angelica shouted in a battered Pyro's face before dropping him. She stormed away. "Rotten, lousy little…I hope he finally gets it this time! Or else he is going to really get it next time!"
"That wasn't really getting it?" Lance shuddered.
"Althea's been giving us lessons," Lina admitted.
"I have taught you well, young Firestar," Althea grinned.
"A little too well if you ask me," Arcade gulped. "But from what you've told me I wouldn't be surprised if this didn't do the trick."
"Pyro is pretty persistent," Angelica admitted. "I'll give him that."
"Yeah it'll be hard for that nutcase to get over you," Wanda shrugged.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
The next day…
"MAGMA BABY!" Pyro stood out on the front lawn of the Xavier Institute. "IT'S YOUR HUNKA HUNKA BURNING LOVE! LOOK AT WHAT I MADE ON THE FRONT LAWN! A BIG BURNING HEART! IT'S TO SHOW MY HEART'S ON FIRE FOR YOU!"
"Not to mention the front lawn…" Scott remarked as he saw Pyro's demonstration. "And a few trees."
"Beast!" Logan shouted. "Turn the defense system to Defcon Ten!"
"YEOW!" Pyro cried out. "Those laser thingys hurt!"
"You were right, Cyclops," Logan said casually. "We really did need those extra lasers out front."
"Not to mention the new security cameras to record this," Scott grinned. "Should we call the Misfits to come pick him up?"
"Are you crazy?" Logan looked at him. "Knowing our luck they'd probably recruit him!"
"Oh yeah…" Scott thought. "And I suppose killing him is out of the question right?"
"OW! OW! THAT SMARTS!" Pyro yelled. "MAGMA! I COULD ALWAYS DO A DIFFERENT TRIBUTE TOMORROW! OWWWWWIEEEE!"
"Let's leave that option open shall we?" Logan asked.