Striking the Heart

The Cold and Emptiness

It was now late in the evening as the moon took its place in the dark sky. The gang was still at the hospital, waiting for Goku to sort everything out. He was in the doctor's office, talking about taking the baby home and about what was going to happen with Chichi. The Dragon balls couldn't be used for a whole year. One whole year without her. One whole year of complete, endless desolation. He just couldn't see himself handling one day, let alone a whole year! How the Hell was he going to survive without her for a whole year? This was killing him already.

"Well Mr. Son, I see no reason why you cannot take the baby home with you tonight" Goku smiled weakly.

"Thank you sir. I'm glad to be taking her home"

"You make sure you get a lot of rest Mr. Son, you're going to need it and remember what I told you. You are not alone. There are many of us who will gladly help you out with the baby, give you advice and all the support you need" Goku nodded.

"Thank you" Goku responded before leaving the room"

Entering the waiting room, his friends immediately stood up. He looked at them all, one at a time. They looked exhausted. He felt truly touched because of their loyalty and because they remained with him. He smiled at them.

"We can go home now" he said, "Gosha can come home now too"

"That's good news. You can get her settled in straight away" Yamcha said quietly. Goku noticed that he wasn't the only one who was deeply hurt by the loss. His friends seemed some what upset by it too. He looked over at his eldest with Goten asleep in his arms.

"I think its best that he stays home from school for a while. This is going to be really hard for him" Goku noted. Gohan nodded his head.

"He's only a kid" he murmured sadly. Soon enough the guys made their way to the babies department where they picked up Gosha, then they turned home. Outside the hospital they bid their goodbyes and paid their respects to the heart broken Goku before flying off. Using his instant transmission technique, Goku teleported the four of them home. They ended up outside their house and Gohan immediately walked in with the slumbering Goten in his arms. Goku stopped, and Gohan noticed his hesitation. Turning around he looked at his broken father. He looked so pale, exhausted, and heartbreaking and just painfully featured. Gohan's shoulders slumped down just like his father's.

"Dad?" he questioned quietly.

"I'm the strongest man in the world Gohan…I know how tough things get sometimes. When something bad happens, I get through it, we all do, and I do my best and beat what's overpowering me…" Gohan listened carefully.

"I don't think I can overpower this" Gohan swallowed, noticing his father's watering eyes.

"Dad, I know it's going to be really hard but we have to try and be strong. Maybe not for ourselves, but for Goten and Gosha at least" he whispered to his listening father.

"I guess" Goku said smiling lightly as he walked in his house.

Entering the kitchen, he flicked on the lights. For some reason, it didn't feel like home. It didn't feel like a loving warm family lived here…not anymore.

He followed Gohan upstairs and took a separate path to the Baby's room. Pulling back the small pink cream blanket with one arm, he placed the newborn down with the other. Luckily the nurse had fed her an hour ago, so she wouldn't need feeding until a couple of hours. Maybe he could get some sleep until then. He tucked her in gently and closed her light curtains. He stood by her cot side for a few minutes, watching her inhale and exhale lightly. He beamed down at her warmly. She was just so perfect. No matter how many times he had said it, it had to be said again. He stroked her face once more before switching on the baby monitor and making his way to Gohan and Goten's room.

Entering he ambled over to Goten who was sleeping tiredly in bed. Gohan was shutting the curtains when Goku spoke.

"I wonder what's going through his mind" Goku whispered, "I wonder what he's thinking"

"Its gonna be really hard for him dad"

"And you. You keep a good shield over yourself Gohan, but I can see through it. I know how hard this is for you too. I can see it in your eyes and…I want you to know that…I'll be here for you and I'll do my best…to take care of you…all of you" Gohan swallowed, trying to restrain the threatening tears.

"Thanks dad…I'll be here for you too"

"Thank you son…I think you should stay home from school too…maybe a little break would make you feel better" Gohan nodded his head. Goku left the room and closed the door gently. Lying down, Gohan bit his lip and sobbed. He finally let the tears out…he finally let it sink in that his mother was gone. He cuddled up to his blanket, hoping that he could fall asleep, so he wouldn't have to cry anymore.

Goku opened the bedroom door and stood in its entrance. He peered inside, seeing only darkness and emptiness. He slowly walked in, closing the door slightly behind him. He stood in the middle of the room as he began to undress. He was once again reminded of the heart breaking events of today…but then again, how could he forget? He kicked his work shoes off and threw his tie onto the floor. He sat on the edge of the bed, reluctant to curl up inside it…alone.

He was so lonely. He felt an outcast…lost, with no reason to live. Maybe for the children he thought, but nothing else. He touched his slow beating heart. If it was possible, he could feel it's pain as it beat repeatedly in his muscular chest. He could hear it's cries and feel it's sorrow. His heart was torn…broken…ripped apart. It was nothing but a muscle to his devastated exhausted body.

He sadly pulled the soft blankets back to hop in. Once in he folded them back and sunk down into the bed, having the blanket reach his neck. He looked up at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts once more. He wondered a lot of things as he felt his tears threatening to unleash themselves again. He wondered if Chichi could see him now. He wondered what she was thinking. He wondered if he could survive like this. The door suddenly creaked.

"Daddy?" came a faint call. Goku sat up and looked towards the door. It was Goten.

"What's up kiddo?" he asked wearily.

"I can't sleep…could I sleep with you?" he asked sadly

"Sure son…you can bunk with me…I could do with the company" Goten smiled and hopped into bed with his father, cuddling in at the same time. Silence echoed around the room for several minutes. Silence…declaring cold and emptiness.

"Daddy"

"Yes son"

"Do you think mommy's watching us?" Goku swallowed, blinking furiously to stop the tears.

"Yeah, I think she is"

"I really miss her daddy" he murmured sadly, cuddling into Goku's arm.

"Yeah…me too Goten" there was another round of silence between father and son.

"What's going to happen to us?" Goten asked quietly. Goku hesitated with his answer. Hearing the baby fidget in her sleep, Goku looked over at his eight year old son.

"I don't know Goten…I don't know what's going to happen to us" and that's how that night ended. No more words, no more conversation…just thoughts running through their minds. Little Goten soon fell asleep, whilst his father stayed up all night…thinking…crying and taking care of Gosha. For once in his life he knew the meaning of lonely, and he knew the meaning of single parenting. Now he knew how Chichi felt...when he was gone...