Disclaimer: i guess wants me to remind myself everyday that I'm broke! i dont own it!
Sorry it took so long to update.
Thanks are at the bottom.
I wanted to talk about this chapter and the previous chapter. Lately, I've been writing chapters with only Santasia's thoughts. The reason I did this was cuz people had been asking questions about the story and her thoughts came out to answer some of your questions. By the next chapter I'll have it back up to the normal way, with constant convo but for this one again, I had a lot of thoughts and a little conversation. If that makes sense. Enjoy.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope everyone had a fantasic holidays, whether they celebrated Christmas, Hunnukah, Kwanza, Diwali(ME), any other holiday, or just took advantage of 2 weeks to practice some INTENSE laziness (ME), i hope everyone got a relaxing break.
CHAPTER 10. First Fire and a Revelation
Well, that went... well.
It really, truly wasn't that bad.
Though, Topher and I didn't do mush studying.
Wait! I didn't mean it like that! No...
You have to know, I was shaking like a hyper monkey when he walked into the library.
"Hey Santasia!" Topher approached the far table cautiously.
"Hey... sit down!" I pointed him to the chair next to me and he took a seat.
This time, I wasn't about to let a silence fall. Keep the conversation rolling, I say.
"Um. I wanted to talk to you about yesterday", I tried making eye contact. I promise! I swear on my fish, Daisy's, grave that I was frightened of his dimples.
Whoa. Never thought I'd say that.
Anybee's, I didn't want to be confused, so I decided to look at the interesting golden peeling on the Herbology text book instead. Nothing wrong with that.
I could tell by the sound of his voice, and by the view out of the corner of my sneaky eye, that Topher's face had fallen. "Oh?" He asked.
Was it just me or had I sensed some strained, fakeness to that tone?
Must've been me.
"Well... er."
"Um."
Damnit! I let that godforsaken silence in again!
"You see..."
"Yes?"
"I really don't know you that well, Topher."
"Oh", this time, I know I hadn't mistaken an ersatz 'oh'.
Maybe this guy's just bad with rejection?
All right, I'll let it pass.
"I want to get to know you well, though," I said, picking my words gingerly, "But, as a friend."
"Right."
Silence.
"Just what I was thinking. I'm glad you said that," Topher added resolutely.
I thought, and thought stupidly, that it was safe to look at my dumpee.
Those bloody dimples! Topher grinned at me as if he'd won the Quidditch cup itself.
Oh mercy.
My stomach rumbled.
Though, I'll admit that was more because I was hungry then because of infatuation.
My head spun.
The world turned upside down.
My knees felt weak.
My legs wobbled.
And oh! Every other cliched feeling in the pissy book!
NOT!
Abso-bloody-lutely no feelings what sodding so ever.
"Well, lets begin the lesson then", I said in an attempt to stifle the awkwardness.
It turns out Topher was way ahead of me.
Instead of studying and tutoring, like good children, we went off the the lake to toss rocks over the water.
Fun right?
I think I just aquired myself a friend!
Oh do I have some good for you my friend! Some very jolly good news indeed!
Teehee! Annike told me that Rob told her that Remus told him that James told him that Sirius told him-
Hold on. Let me breath.
-that Sirius saw me and Topher at the lake! Woopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
Breath.
-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Do you know what this means?
I know what this means!
If you don't know what this means then you're a bloody wanker and must stop reading this immediately!
Just kidding.
This means, for my mentally impaired fellows, that Sirius has seen me with a hottie hot hot Quidditch captain and may have some newfound jelousy!
Serves you right you flirtacious prat!
Why are you giving me that look?
Stop giving me that look!
I'm not going to use Topher like this! You know me by now!
Did I forcefully flirt with him?
No!
Did I lead him on?
No!
For that matter, I actually kindly rejected him.
I'm not a sodding hoochie if thats what you're worried about!
Now on with the show!
I must go prance off to my dorm and happily get some homework done while I actually think of ways to get Black ticked.
Oh bloody Mary.
Why must I trip over the table leg at such a happy moment?
Why must I fall flat on my sad old face and experience fellow Gryffindors laugh themselves silly at me?
I must edge away quickly and discretly now, enough attention has come.
Well, as quickly as I can go with a stubbed toe!
Strange how love has made me into a crazy, kniving maniac who wants her object of her offection to be jealous.
Weird how I'm crazy about Sirius, that bloody took.
Yet stupid how I can't stand being next to him without tearing my nose hair out.
Oh come now.
Let's be adults here.
Everyone has nose hair! No matter how much you, my dear humans, would like to deny it.
Some of us just have ample ringlets that need snippeting. No, not me you fool!
As I was saying before I was rudley interrupted by... me.
Cough
Do I need to go to Madam Finnigan for a check up at the hospital wing? Do I have some type of sickness?
What in the name of melted sneakers compels me to day dream over a certain heart throb, and yet, when I'm in his mere presence I scamper away, wanting to rip off his pretty little head?
Mental am I?
Well I can't think of a comeback at the moment so I'll just occupy myself with inspecting my dirty nails which I will never get around to manicuring.
And yes, I know that's not a word. Quit the patronizing me, won't you mum.
You know what I've realized?
I was jealous of Sirius for flirting with that chick, and now he's jealous because he thinks I'm flirting with Topher.
Now I know realizing that isn't much of a feat, but you haven't let me reach my point yet.
What I've realized is that this is coming out to be like a jealousy war.
All's fair in love and war, I suppose.
Oh damnit does anyone bloody know what that sodding phrase means?
I would like to use it properly and actually know what it means!
Because war isn't fair, incase you haven't noticed.
Frankly, war is old man talking and young men dying.
And love.
Well, I don't think I'm experienced, considering I just discovered myself to be smitten THIS MORNING!
But from what I've seen, heard, and read, love isn't fair.
It's just... destined. I guess.
But don't mix destiny with fate, please.
In my book, destiny is what you make it to be. If you get exceptional grades, you are destined to 'rise above' in your proffession.
Unless you screw that up some how.
So destiny isn't like fate, because fate is the theory that every choice you make was going to happen anyway. It was already 'written in a book', persay.
But destiny is when you make choices which consequent and perhaps destin you to a future.
How's that for food for thought?
Oh tosh this talk! I'm off to skive some food from the kitchens.
redheadfanatic: thanx for the reviews, love to read them, yes the camalian puberty was one of my more...brilliant ideas lol
Canadian Cocoa Chick: I deffinetly know what you mean....urgh....bad memories.....
starlitestarbritelilsis: wow im really sorry about what happened to you. if it helps, sometimes your friends dont realize that their actions can really hurt, and ive learned that theres deffinetly nothing wrong with getting new friends, so go out there and find someone! and i hope you guys patch things up :)
xxxsapphiretearxxx: it is like school huh? exactly wut i was goin for, thanx for the review!
Misao, Demon Master: lol ive never played that game (confused) anyway, its amazing how many girls have told me their agreement.
tenshisenshi: thanx for the adivce, i deffinetly need to sleep! well i will be from now on cuz school is starting up again tomorrow, tho that also means slower updates :(
Poodle Luva: yea you were evil poodle? well thanx for the idea, it really helped!
Cooling the Fire: seriously? its the first fic? you should go to my fave stories list, you'll find TONS of awesome Sirius fics!
Amanda Ayers: thanx a bunch for reviewing! ive always thot of Sirius as the womanizer...
sugarNspikes: lol your ego is welcome! I truly did love your story though. and I meant that keep the same writing, just seprate the paragraphs more. Like you know how I space almost every sentence? usually the maximum amount of sentences together should be 3 and even if you didn't have more, they seemed really long. i hope that makes sense...anyway, thanx for reviewing!
Kabitzsky : thanx a lot for the review! and happy new year to you too!
squeeky-toy 123 : Well I havent heard from you awhile! glad to hear from ya and thanx for reviewing!
Siriusly Deluded: Im glad you liked these last 2 chaps! I was having lot's of fun writing them! Actually, a bunch of people thought I would make her like Tophu... Dun Dun Dun! Anyway, hurry up and update Sirius Randomness!
Winks and hugs yall
Please review...I love hearing from you!!!!!
cetesy