Heres another one, guys. Hey, I found some good reasons why Butler might like Holly. She saves his life (more than once if you count the other books). And she respects him (at least more than she respects Artemis.) Plus she's tough and courageous (traits he likes in people. A.k.a. Juliet). Anyway I was bored and wanted to be weird, so that's my pairing.
Ok I'm replying to the reviewers! By the way, if you want to read something stupid,look atthe review Angel Jennie wrote about this. She's diluted.
Schizophrenic Squirrel—Awwww well I have been trying harder to stay in character, Cherry was fun to write. Arty will react kinda mixed. He likes her, but doesn't want to admit it. Its hard to write, but I like a challenge.
Out Of Touch With Reality--- Yes, they are really good books! And so fun to write ficcys about! Lol, I'll try.
PoweroftheFrogs--- Thank you. I will write more if my mom will get off my case, I still have my other storys to update though. YaY! Finaly someone respects my butler/holly pairing! YaY!
Angel Jennie---Yes, its suppose to be weird. Did you read my story? Have you ever met a perfect person? Get over yourself! And THIS IS NOT A JULIET/ARTEMIS PAIRING! Jeeze I don't think you even read my story.
Dandelion queen--- Hmmm….you sound familiar. Similar to the Madamoiselle violet who reviewed my ssottp story. Hmmm…. Claire I love you! Whooooo! I'm totally going to do that! YaY!
I love this story---Yes, I'm working on it. Still, He is a changed boy. He is still calculating and analytical but it's only the third chapter so it hasn't come in yet. Also…its hard to writeabout a genius. Eoin Colfer is amazing.
Chapter ThreeDr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe and his savior
Artemis walked in his regal manner down the hall. Passing the staircase, he stopped. Something was wrong. Suddenly a cool breeze sped through him, shaking his nerves.
"Show yourself!" He demanded, pulling himself up to his full height. Thepolo shirt and shortshe wore mixed with his gangly height created a strange picture.
The breeze flew by again, rattling his bones. He felt as though death itself was playing tricks with him. How close to the truth he was. A cold hand crept up his face, feeling every curve and crease. Wincing, Artemis felt the fingers brush his closed eyes.
"Excuse me, but do you mind?" He asked, reaching for the hand. It was invisible and substance-less. No, scratch that. The air was thicker where the hand was. Still, he could see no one. Reaching out in front of him, the boy stuck his arm right into the middle of Meg Finn's torso.
"Hey!" She said, but of course he couldn't hear her. "That tickles!" The whole face thing had been a joke. Meg had giggled like mad, spider-crawling her fingers along his visage. His expression had been priceless! Finally, she judged it was time to put on her coat.
"Amazing," He whispered. "Who are you?"
Meg resisted the urge to say I am an angel from heaven, come to save your soul. Instead, she replied. "Just a lost spirit, hoping to find dwellings with such an esteemed mastermind." Grinning, she didn't mention her mission, thinking she could save his soul without his realization.
"I see." He didn't try to hide his interest, openly staring. "May I?" He tried to stick his arm through her again. It hit a solid body.
"Ouf!" Do you mind?" Meg dramatized. Despite the pale face and weedy build, Artemis Fowl was not altogether bad looking. Compared to Belch Brennan, he was heaven. Correction, he was better than heaven, he was real. What are you talking about? Just save the guys' soul and get out. Don't complicate things, Meg.
"I suppose you could stay, just don't let my mother see you. Also, I'd like to ask a few questions, would that be all right?" He eagerly inquired.
"Yes, that sounds fine." Meg noted the similarities between Artemis's eyes and those of his ancestors who hung on the walls. Lapis-blue and mature. Almost too mature.
"All right, come up to the surveillance lab then. I'm sure Butler will want to meet you. Juliet is out with her boyfriend, Drake, but I will introduce you when she gets home." He led her up a flight of carpeted, wooden stairs.
"That's fine, we've already met."
"Have you? Oh right, I sent Juliet up to retrieve you from our roof. I love your coat by the way. Very stylish." He tried to compliment her, in an Arty kind of way. Unfortunately, Meg was not used to the young prodigy.
"This? I wouldn't be caught alive in it! The coat's the only thing that allows you to see me. Yeuch." She looked down at her jacket, then had a change of heart. "You know, I guess it's not really that bad, with my jeans it even looks slightly trendy." She smiled at Artemis, flying up to stand on his shoulders.
"That's incredibly strange, you have no weight at all!" Artemis exclaimed, scratching his head. In the literal sense, he wasn't really confused. I mean, he was, but that's not why he scratched his head. Meg was tickling it.
"That's because I was thinking be light when I sat on you. It works like that. Watch this." She lifted up a bookcase that even Butler would be hard-pressed to hold over his head as she did. "That time I though up and I could make it go up. But first I had to think bookcase, otherwise my hands would have gone right through it." She tried to explain the spiritual system to Artemis, but he was left scratching his head.
"Come inside and explain it to me again, but try to speak English this time." He led them into the surveillance room where Butler was busy sharpening his German AK-47 bayonet and surveying the house via camera. He looked up when they came into the room.
"Ah, you've found her Artemis, excellent. Good work." It was rare that Butler gave an outright compliment. He usually just silently accepted things and nodded his head. Artemis almost beamed. Almost. I'm not a love-hungry two-year-old! He scolded himself. It was a complete lie. His mother spent all of her time at the country club and only came home occasionally for supper. Usually Angeline stayed out quite late and never paid any attention to her son. She was almost as neglecting as when she had been ill, before Holly had cured her. Butler was the closest thing he had to a parent, though their relationship was different than that. Artemis respected Butler. Still, the boy wished his father had not died. He wished the body had not been found, floating in the Arctic Ocean. If it had not, there would still be hope. As it were, his father was dead, killed by a thousand exploding soda cans. Artemis had never looked at cola the same way again.
"Yes," He finally replied, coming out of his reverie. Artemis watched as the phantom girl explored the room, fiddling with all sorts of machinery.
"Sweet duds! I wish I had had stuff like this when I had been alive. It would have made life more interesting." She continued exploring.
It's disorienting, Artemis thought, she speaks as though she's dead, but looks as alive as anyone else. Excepting that faint glow, of course. Then he realized something.
"Hey, what's your name?" He asked her, slightly annoyed. She was playing with the stolen LEP gear.
"Meg Finn. Can I ask you a question?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Can you search for people on these things?" She gestured towards the computers.
"Yes," Artemis said, seating himself in front of a monitor. "Who do you want to search for?" He started up his locator program.
"Two people, actually. The first one…well, I'm not even sure if he's still alive." She stopped short, thinking how ironic it would be if Meg was on earth and Lowrie was dead.
"Name…?" Artemis said absentmindedly.
"Oh! Right. Lowrie McCall. He's an old coot, to be sure, got a failing heart. Has some spunk though, and I was wondering if I'd be able to encounter him again, whilst I'm here." She stretched her arms, cracking a bone that wasn't supposed to be there.
"Here we are…. Lowrie McCall, No! You don't mean the guy who married Cicely Ward do you?" His interest had been grabbed, despite himself.
"I guess so, but Sissy Ward was already married! Did McCall kill Mr. Ward?" She looked worried, if Lowrie had murdered someone, he wouldn't be joining her in heaven.
"Naw, the guy died of a heart-attack. Lowrie proposed six months ago and they got hitched on national TV two months later."
Good, she thought, now he won't have to worry about paying that visa bill. His millionaire wife will take care of it.
"Oh well, can you search for Franco Kelly please? I want to see what happened to him after I left." Artemis ran the search. It came up with two sentences. Not a pleasant person for most of his life, did not do anything remarkable, mostly watched TV. Changed a bit in the last year, got nicer, then Franco got hit by a car and died.
"Ah, well. No loss there." She did not feel sad. Except perhaps for the loss of the spirit residue she had given him.
"Do you want the address of the McCall guy?" Artemis asked. Meg nodded. The boy wrote down the information and handed it to the girl. He looked at her closely then. She had obviously seen a lot of pain in her life, judging from her eyes. She didn't care too much about fashion, more for practicality, having tied up her hair in a bun. Her clothes (aside from the jacket) were going for comfort. Worn jeans and a tee shirt. One thing Artemis didn't understand by looking at her, was how both Franco Kelly and Lowrie McCall, TV star and TV fan, had played a big enough role in Meg's life to make her look them up after she had died.
She's pretty over-all. He thought. What are you talking about? Get serious Artemis! He scolded himself for letting down his guard around his unorthodox guest
Meg, however, was looking over the programmer and thinking, Hot damn! Is he taken? If not, I'm going to take a shot! She smiled, perhaps that was how she could save his soul. He could fall in love! Well, it's a good beginning. Oh course I'm not really like that. Has heaven infected my brain? The old Meg wouldn't gush over a guy! She was suddenly self-conscious. Satan-hell! I've got to stop thinking like this!
"Artemis?" Butler frowned. "Check your e-mails OK? I think the fairies are going to reply to your phone-call." The night before, Artemis had phoned the operator and started saying random words that had to do with the lower-elements. D'arvit and Neutrino2000 being among them.
"Thanks Butler! How could I forget?" He quickly started up the computer that contained his private e-mail folder.
"Artemis, might I speak with the girl…errr…Meg, for a moment? I have something to ask her." He requested cautiously. He didn't want his master to think he was up to something.
"Sure Butler, go ahead." He was now eagerly reading a series of e-mails that had been sent in the last 24-hours from the LEP.
Butler directed Meg outside the room, then showed her six pages of printouts. She gasped, seeing the scanned samples of Peters handwriting. Then she read what they said. They were undoubtedly pages from the book she had in her pocket, but how had he gotten them?
"I used technology to scan the still-frame of your coat that I managed to capture on video. Then I X-rayed it, and it showed me these. Would you care to explain yourself, or do I have to be more persuasive?" He clenched his fists.
"It's no secret why I'm here, sir. I simply refrained from telling Artemis because I thought it might be easier if he didn't know." Meg proceeded to explain why she was there, leaving out only a few parts. She wanted to keep at least a little of it a secret.
He squinted at her, trying to see whether or not she was lying. "Let me get this straight. You've come to save Artemiss' soul, so that he can go to heaven. And what happens to me?"
"Well," She looked at his aura. It was pretty-much red. "You, errr, go to hell." She put it bluntly.
"No beating around the bush," He commented. "I like that. Do you think you can save me and my sister, too? I don't want Artemis to be lonely up there, and we're pretty-much the only family he knows." The protective nature he felt towards his client rang from every word the man said.
Meg raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you think I am? An agency? I came to save the kid, and he'll be hard enough as it is. How do you suppose I can save two bodyguards? You guys kill people! Peter is soooo not going to let you in! I can try, but you'll have to be totally saint-like to get past that saint." She had this way of emphasizing her words. Butler fell silent.
"Well, then." He finally said. "Shall we go back in and see what Artemis has received from the LEP?"
"Sure," She trotted back into the surveillance room. That was sufficiently awkward. She thought. I wonder whether they're ever going to tell me what's with the fairies. Seating her self in a spiny computer chair, Meg glanced over Artemis's shoulder. He was typing furiously.
"What did you find?" Butler was more curious than she was, but he was sitting patiently on the other side of his master.
"The LEP replied to my call, Butler. They want to know what the hell I'm on about. They told me to stay away from the lower elements and they say that they where serious. I'm replying, saying that I have a situation and I need them to send an officer and that centaur, Foaly immediately.
If Foaly says yes, then they'll probably stay for about two days, maybe three. It depends on the enormity of the situation I create. I'm telling them that I'll debrief Holly when she gets here, they still don't really know why I called." He laughed, amused at his own power. Then Butler spoke up.
"Well, sir. I don't really know why you called either. And how do you know they will send Holly again?"
Artemis smiled, " She has the most experience on my file. And Butler, have I ever been one to reveal everything?"
"No sir, I suppose I'll figure out you're reasons soon enough."
"Indeed." The boy turned back to his computer.
Taking out his French MAB PA-15 semi-auto hand gun, Butler said, " Sounds like Juliet is home, I want to go meet her new boyfriend." He got up and left the room.
Gawking, Meg asked Artemis, "He's not going to kill him, is he?" She looked kind of freaked out.
"No, he'll just scare the guy a bit. He does this whenever he gets into a mood. Frankly I feel sorry for Juliet. It makes it impossible for her to keep a boyfriend." Artemis seemed not the least bit perturbed.
"Right." Meg felt it was safest not to say anything more.
"Of course, she should be used to it, she herself went through the same training as Butler did. If a guy she's going out with gets scared of a gun, then he won't last long around Juliet." He grinned, then concentrated on the project on hand. Hacking into his schools database again, he raised his cooking and gym marks up two percent each.
"What are you doing? Why don't you change all you're marks to A's?" Meg was confused.
"If I did that, do you honesty think my teachers wouldn't notice? They won't catch a couple of percentages, so I raise it up every day. People notice big change, they don't notice gradual change. You know?" Artemis tried to explain. Meg, however had picked up a few things. She had, after all, spent an entire year reading psychology textbooks.
"Yes, its like that in history, all the small things people don't notice turn into big things, then we look back two hundred years later and say, 'oh my god, I can't believe they didn't even have indoor toilets'!' People are slow to change, but they do change. That's the way the brain works; unless you are extremely perceptive, you wont hear the pin drop."
Artemis, despite himself, was impressed. Granted, he did not surround himself with other geniuses, but Meg spoke like she knew what she was talking about. Bodyguards are all very well when you are in danger, and even good for the occasional conversation, however they where not the most philosophical of humans, you had to admit.
"You sound like you know you're stuff." It was the closest thing Artemis could give to a compliment.
"I could get a Ph.D. in psychology if I wanted to. I mean, that is, if I was alive." Then it struck her. She looked like she was alive, she sounded like she was alive, and heck she even smelled like she was alive! Maybe she could pass as alive until her spirit residue ran out.
"So could I." They smiled at each other.
Then an idea hit her. "Hey can you create fake ID's?"
Artemis looked like she had asked him if he could walk. "Of course I can. How do you think I came so far?" He grinned to himself. It was a reminiscing, evil grin.
"Do you think you could make me one?" Meg asked hopefully.
"Yes, but you'll have to give me something in return."
"Of course." She looked at him. Then, to her surprise, she stifled a yawn. In her spirit form she couldn't sleep, but who knew what this jacket could accomplish.
"Well," Artemis got up. "I'm going to hit the hay." He went towards the door, then turned around. "Hey, do you sleep? I mean, I could get you a bed if you do. Or a book. You know, if you want something, I will probably have it."
Meg thought for a moment. She thought she might as well ask. "A bed would be nice, and do you have a copy of 'Cranium sweeps over the centuries'? I was re-reading it before I came."
"'Cranium sweeps of the centuries'?" Artemis repeated. He walked back to a computer and did a search. "It doesn't exist. Are you sure that was what it was called?" He seemed a bit annoyed now. The girl had read something he hadn't.
"OK, well, anything would be fine. I prefer psychology books the best though." Perhaps heaven had books that hadn't yet been published. Interesting.
Artemis selected a book from his shelf. 'The textbook of textbook labels and textbook answers'. Meg smiled, she had memorized it ages ago. Gliding over to the shelf, she selected a volume she had not read before. 'A Psychoanalysts Mind by Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe.'
"Interesting choice." Artemis smiled, revealing pearly white teeth. "I wrote that one. I have had some experience with councilors over the years."
"Nice pseudonym, Dr.Schlippe. Could you have made the name any longer?"
"Yes, but it would have looked conspicuous." He led her to a room near the basement then went off to bed. Opening the book, Meg only got to chapter three before she drifted off to sleep.
Satan had recently disintegrated his last computer programmer. The woman had been insolent and cheeky. Anyway, he was in the market again. Looking through his logbook, he did the same search as Peter had done not two days before. He, however, did not come up with the same results. Satan's gaze stopped on Foaly. The centaur sounded perfect for what he wanted. He was imaginative, had an attitude, a red aura and all. The only problem now was how the fairy would die, and also the little matter of how the centaur would make it into the human damnation.
"Beelzebub!" The second-in-command appeared.
"Yes, your low and deadliness?" He was the picture of obedience. Only a faint twitch at the corner of his mouth showed his normal evil demeanor.
"I want him!" Satan pointed at the name and explained his wish.
"But…errr…Boss, that's a fairy!" Fairies had an entirely different system that happened to them in the afterlife. They were re-incarnated. Although they did have a resting-place between lives. "Couldn't you just settle with someone more…human?" The demon pleaded pathetically.
"No." The devil put it simply. "I want this guy, Bub. Get him for me or else I'll make you work with that Belch monster and take Kyle as my second in command." Beelzebub fumed. Not because of the nickname, although that was obnoxious. He was mad at the mere mention of Kyle. The man had been a movie director, initially brought in to darken up the décor. However, El Diablo had taken a liking to the mans taste, moving him up in rank. Now Beelzebub had a competitor for his job. Not good. Time to call Peter.
"I'll do my best, your lowliness." He bowed towards the door.
"Go then." He was dismissed.
In the hall, Beelzebub disintegrated several imps before calming down enough to call Peter.
"What is it Bub? I'm a little busy here. Sextuplet babiesdied in a fire this afternoon, it's a madhouse."
"I havean emergency, Pete."
Ok guys, sorry my POV's are limited in this chapter. Next one I'll probably add in POV's from the LEP and Lowrie and a new character I have in mind. No, I didn't get my facts wrong, Artemis's father died in the ocean. Remember, I'm basing this story after the first book. The second and third do not happen. Butler doesn't get shot! YaY! Hey if you have time will anybody read my other stories? Especially 'Parody and Paradox' and 'War of the Weird Ones' because NOBODY IS REVIEWING THEM! Ahhhhgh! Ok ok
Cliky! Even two words are better then nothing! Review! YaY!
By the way,Butler hadan actual military knife. Same goes for the gun. Yup, I did my research, I bet my mom thinks I'm in a gang now. She saw the sites I was looking at and got kind of freaked. Lol