Day Four
My New Ward
I opened my eyes the next day to a very well lite hospital like room. I did not know where I was. There were cords and tubes running everywhere, what had happened? I reached over to both sides of my bed, in search for the 'attention button', but I had no luck, so I tried screaming and shouting; this is where I had a little too much luck. A few nurses came running in a restrained me while one injected me with yet another anaesthetic, I immediately became calm again. She began checking few of the many tubes attached and dangling from my trapped body. She started talking to me; I must have asked what happened and where I was because she immediately answered the questions I was thinking of asking, that or she read my mind. "Your in the hospital ward of the clinic, a couple of days ago you fell unconscious in your cell. We will keep you here under observation for a few more days until you seem 'fit' enough to go back to your cell". "Wha…" "Enough questions now, you have a visitor". Me have a visitor, couldn't be anyone I know… nobody seems to care enough otherwise I wouldn't be here in the first place. As the nurse left, I waited in silence for my so called guest.
The wait seemed forever, yet soon enough I did have a guest after all. He entered the room silently, like he was invisible. No sound yet much movement. I recognised his face straight away; it was mostly his eyes I recognised the most. They were dazzling, enchanting with such rare beauty. A Deep blue was the colour of my fate. He walked over to my bed side, sat down and began to hum. It was the same song he used to hum to me when we were together; perhaps he believes we still are. We never will be; ever. He destroyed my life, he turned my life around and twisted it with such anger it was just left there to rot and wilt away into nothingness. Why was he here? Does he dare have such nerve? If it weren't for the anaesthetic I would have my hands ringing his neck until there was only one breath left in his body; from there, I would be the one twisting his insides and toying with his emotions. He claimed to have such feelings that were so in love with mine; an emotion that would stand beside my forever. It was my turn, I could do anything I wanted to him, and by the looks of his expression, he came to my place for sympathy; it is anything but sympathy that he will receive. "Baby, I'm so sorry. Your parents told me what you did, I wish there was something I could do to make your life better". I lied there still, staring with fury deep into his eyes. As people say 'you shall fear my wrath,' and he will. I know he could sense how I was feeling, he always did back in my nightmares, he always knew when I was angry with him; not matter how nice to him I was. It must have been five minutes of staring into his eyes; penetrating deep into his soul until he spoke again. "I come here asking for your forgiveness, and all you do is stare at me with no reply. I didn't have to apologise but it seems to be keeping your parents happy. You know my plan will work, you know I will have you again." With ending his sentence, he grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me dry with his screaming and torture. No matter what he did, I would never let him have me again, and he will continue to fail; as I continue to look away. There was something that hit me just after he let go, I was beginning to think differently, on the plus sides of things again. Now was not the time, yet before I could stop myself, I had already leapt up and fallen into his half open arms, and was sobbing like there was no tomorrow. I'd given in; just like I always did. Or perhaps, he would be my next escape plan. If I was to show forgiveness, he would take me out of the clinic. But something inside me thought maybe he had changed.
A monster like that could never change, no matter how much I ignored the fact that I would be hurt again, I found myself always running back to him; like I needed him with me all my life, otherwise I could not live. The cuts were getting deeper and deeper into my soul, he continued to get to me every time, and eventually, I guess you could say; I fell to pieces.