Title: Of Brotherly Love and Other Similar Matters.
Author: juxtaposed
Rating: PG-ish, I reckon.
Pairings: James/Sirius, James/Remus, James/Lily, Remus/Lily, Remus/Sirius
Summary: A short story in which there is the Marauders, and Lily, and they are all paired up in almost every fashion imaginable. (Except for Peter, who doesnt get much action, because he ends up evil and therefore I HATE HIM.) Rather plotless, rather fluffy, and serves no real purpose except to be an excuse for why I am not working on other more important things, like WIPs and FQFs and fanart.

Of Brotherly Love & Other Similar Matters

The Marauders had very special relationships with each other: they were best friends, they were confidants, they were partners in crime, and they were brothers.

Oh, and three-quarters of them were lovers.

It all began with James and Sirius, of course – they had known each other their whole lives; they had grown up together being closer than just brothers or best friends. They knew each other on an intuitive level, and one day in their third year at Hogwarts, it progressed to a more physical level.

James had returned from Quidditch practice with an odd glow to his face, his eyes wild and excited behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Remus and Peter both noticed it, of course, but they left it to Sirius to find out what was the matter. After all, James always told Sirius everything, and they would be right in thinking that this time was no different. Since, with no small amount of determination and single-mindedness, James had told them to stand guard while he dragged Sirius up to their dorm room, locking the door behind them.

Right before he pushed a very surprised and completely unprepared Sirius up against the wall and crushed their lips together.

It was not an earth-shattering experience, like he'd been hearing it was. It wasn't even particularly good, to be honest, because Sirius was just standing there with his lips still set together, not even trying to kiss back, while James was entirely too gung-ho about it and plied his lips all over Sirius' mouth rather clumsily.

But when he had pulled back and stared at Sirius uncertainly, they had just exchanged lopsided grins and a small chuckle, before leaning in to give it another go.

This time, it went much more smoothly, because now Sirius' nose was not being squashed by an over-enthusiastic James, allowing him to breathe, and James was much more restrained and not licking Sirius' face. Also because Sirius had caught on to what James was trying to do and was apparently receptive to the idea - judging by the way he was now slipping his tongue past James' lips.

They kissed for a few more minutes, before deciding that that was enough for now, and then they had unlocked the door and walked back down to the common room where Remus and Peter, playing chess, barely glanced at them. This was fine with James and Sirius, who exchanged knowing smiles with each other.

This went on for the next couple of years. The two of them had a very casual, if long-term, relationship – it came from being best friends for a decade – where they mostly just snogged or experimented with anything that had piqued their curiosity, but never stopped looking at other people, even if they never acted upon it.

Remus and Peter were very accepting of all of this, not passing any judgement on the way the boys behaved and treated each other. (Which usually comprised of fistfights or hexing matches, followed by intense bouts of snogging and groping.) They didn't even seem to care much about the fact that they were both boys - Peter simply made a face and rolled his eyes every time James and Sirius were mentioned together, while Remus, in fact, had made a casual comment about being gay himself ("No, I don't care if you two are shagging. In fact, I'd like to watch. Oh, did I forget to mention I'm queer?").

Oddly, the fact that Remus was gay didn't seem to stop him from casually dating Lily Evans throughout fourth year and half of fifth.

Even more oddly, Lily didn't seem to mind that her boyfriend preferred other boys.

It didn't seem to affect their relationship - she and Remus sat next to each other in all their classes and at meals, they held hands when they walked in the corridors or at Hogsmeade, and twice, they had been sent to detention for being caught 'in compromising positions'. He often bought her sweets and flowers and little gifts, while she usually gifted him with special editions of various books. Occasionally, they would go out on double dates with James and Sirius, although this was rare seeing as how Lily thought the two boys were arrogant troublemakers, and the two boys thought her a swot and telltale.

As such, it was somewhat a surprise to all the parties involved when James declared himself in love with Lily, in the middle of fifth year.

None of them took this particularly well – Sirius was rather offended that James wanted a girl over him; Lily was more than slightly disgusted at the thought of James Potter fancying her; Remus was rather annoyed with James for trying to intrude on his territory; and James himself was aghast that he somehow had feelings for not just a girl, but a girl who stood against everything he was about, and moreover, a girl who was the girlfriend of one of his best friends.

As could be expected from all of this, James and Sirius parted company – fortunately on amicable terms, as did Remus and Lily. But somehow, in the midst of all the mess of ending relationships, a new one had begun.

James and Remus.

No one, not even themselves, understood quite how it happened. All they knew was that it began with: (a) James proclaiming his love for Lily ("Lily Evans, I think I love you!") and getting dumped by Sirius ("If you'd rather shag a bird, mate, that's fine, and well, I'm sure you wont mind if I go look for that luscious Ravenclaw bloke in our Charms class, right? Cheers, mate!"); was followed by (b) Lily leaving Remus ("Maybe James will get over this silly crush of his if I'm not always around."); continued with (c) James sheepishly approaching Remus on how to win Lily over ("I know I might have been the reason she left you, but since you prefer blokes and all, would you really mind?"); and finally resulted in (d) James and Remus snogging in an empty tower like there was no tomorrow ("Oh god, Remus, now I get why Lily didn't mind you being queer. 'Fact, I think I might give up being straight again.").

They spent most of their time in empty rooms and secret corridors and deserted towers, exploring each other with hands and mouths, and essentially being very satisfied with the way things were working out between them.

Their relationship was short-lived however, because despite how incredible Remus was with his tongue, James was, all in all, straight and in love with Lily, and Remus did not find James submissive enough for his werewolfy wants ("How many times do I have to tell you – when I say 'On your knees', you bloody well do it!").

Besides, Sirius had pitched a right fit when he found out, and neither of them wanted to hurt their best friends. (Especially as Peter had also been dismayed at the seemingly indiscriminate partner-swapping.)

So, with all those reasons behind them, Remus offered to help James out with Lily, and in return, James offered to help Remus with Sirius ("Don't look so surprised, Moony. I've seen the way you look at him. Like a rabid wolf seeing a fluffy bunny. Yes, its true, don't try to deny it.").

By this time, however, it was nearing the end of their school year, and both Remus and James had to wait three months for September, and their sixth year, to arrive, before they could begin their respective pursuits. They contented themselves with owling each other, discussing the best ways to approach their interests. Remus told James of Lily's favourite things to read and do and eat ("Yes, she likes sweets, but for Merlin's sake don't you dare get her anything that explodes or turns her into a different colour, unless you want to completely blow any chance you have."); while James offered insight regarding Sirius' preferences ("Just like Padfoot, he is. Likes when you scratch his tummy, or play with his hair. Of course, if you're not his boyfriend yet, it might be a bit awkward. Might be better off offering him lots of treats.").

And so, when sixth year came, James and Remus were each armed with an arsenal of insider knowledge and tricks, ready to make their moves.

Lily, who still thought James was a rather arrogant, self-absorbed pig, rebutted all advances made by James, no matter how charming he was, and no matter that she was rather flattered by his attempts at (rather atrocious) poetry. She did admit to Remus however – and this was quickly passed on to James – that she thought James was rather nice-looking, and if only he would be more down-to-earth and less of a troublemaker, he might stand a good chance. James was quick to ensure that all of his pranks and hexes on Severus Snape were only performed when Lily was absent.

Meanwhile, Sirius – who Remus couldn't help but think was even better looking than ever – for all of his smarts, seemed to be completely oblivious to Remus' subtle advances. James had rolled his eyes, telling Remus that with Sirius, one could not be subtle ("You have to make it really obvious, Moony. This is Sirius we're talking about. I love the bloke, but he's about as perceptive as a Flobberworm."). So Remus endeavoured to be less subtle. Except that - with him being Remus and all – this was not a terrible difference.

He needn't had bothered, though, as it turned out: one day, while Remus was organising his quills and parchment, Sirius had burst through the door, flown across the room to Remus' bed, hauled Remus up by his collar, and kissed Remus rather savagely. He did this for quite a long while, and quite a few times, before pulling back and giving Remus his most charming, almost-bashful smile, and then promptly telling Remus off ("Honestly, Moony, what does it take for a bloke to get your attention? I was going mad, trying to have you notice me. So what do you say, will you be my boyfriend?").

Remus had, of course, said yes, and with another wide grin, Sirius had proceeded to pin him to the bed and have his wicked way with him. Remus only minded a little at first ("Sirius! That was my favourite quill!"), but was quickly brought around after Sirius demonstrated the full capabilities of his various appendages.

Peter chose a very bad time to re-enter the dorm that day, but eventually got over it enough to choke out a congratulations to his friends. He did take a month to recover from what he had seen ("Blimey, I always knew Sirius was sort of flexible, but…"), and only did so by distracting himself with his long-term girlfriend, a sweet little blond in the year below.

James was pleased for his friends, even if he felt slightly left out with being the only single one in the group. Lily, while acknowledging that he had improved by leaps and bounds, was still reluctant to accept James' requests for a date. However, with some meddling from Remus, she eventually acquiesced (albeit months later), and three years later, they were married, and had a son – the soon-to-be-famous Harry Potter.

A now-famous Harry Potter who gaped in shock and mild horror as he fell out of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black's shared Pensieve, and who had learnt a very important lesson in poking around into other people's memories.

Apparently, having an attraction to Remus Lupin ran in the family.

FIN!