Pranks Abound
Disclaimer: Everything I own is rubbish.
I'm on the train now. Poor old Remus is sitting next to me, fast asleep. I won't wake him, the dear. James will never change. He still presses his face against the window to watch the trees zip past. And here comes Sirius, talking jovially with the sweets lady. I recall my first train ride to Hogwarts. It was on the first of September and I had just lived with the Potters for a month. James and his father lived in a grand old manor house with house elves and ghouls and gnomes. I dropped my trunk as soon as I entered the receiving hall. It stretched far and wider, larger then my house. Suddenly, I felt very inadequate.
"Do you expect me to clean for you?" I asked James pointedly.
"No. Do you want to?" He asked, grinning at me.
"Well, I have to pay rent. I might as well pay in kind."
"Whoever said such a thing, dear? Rent? We would be honoured if you would live with us for the remaining month of summer." Said Mr. Potter, folding his arms across his chest and frowning.
"But your house is so grand, I'm just not used to having something so nice because of what I am."
"What? Lil, I don't follow you…" James said, puzzled.
"I'm a witch, right?"
"Right. Dear, I don't understand where you're coming from either."
"Listen to me, both of you. I just got accepted to Hogwarts and then I have a complete paradigm shift! I am used to stovetop dinners, not elaborate feasts! I am used to bungalows, not grand manors! This makes me feel like I didn't work for anything that I got, and it makes me feel, well… inadequate and a cheat."
"Why are you a cheat?"
"I didn't work for any of this, and I'm free-loading." I pouted, sitting on my trunk. Mr. Potter came over and stooped down so he was eye- level with me.
"Now Lily," I was aghast because this was the first time he was being a responsible commanding father figure with me, "James and I will be very disappointed if you are not made comfortable. Now, there is no guilt being laid upon you, so please go up to your room and look out the window, take a bath, whatever. Just relax." He stood up, wiped away my solitary tear, and walked to the kitchen, cigarette pack in hand.
"Come on, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping. It's in my wing. My dad's wing is full of old, scary, dangerous things, so you're in my wing, the west wing. The east wing is my dad's sleeping area; the north wing is where our offices are located and the southern wing is the just the courtyard, the grounds, and the quidditch field. The centre, known around here as Eden is the dining room, the morning room, and the game room."
"That's a lot to remember… Where does your mum sleep?"
"I don't know who she is, sadly. She dropped me at my dad's doorstep when I was old enough to be on bottled milk. He's taken care of me since. Doesn't it have sort of fairytale quality about it? My dad was a right horny little bugger back then. That's why he's so young."
"Okay, your life just lost that fairytale quality. Is this your room?"
"Yes it is. Do you like it? Yours is bigger."
"Who are the Pembrokeshire Panthers?"
"My Quidditch team. You're room isn't so garishly lit. It's furniture dates back to the early 1890s in New York."
"Oh, do you have relations in New York?"
"No, my dad brought me to a house in New York once on holiday. He loved the classic décor, so he decided to apply it to the guest room."
"Why does your dad get to travel a lot?"
"He's a famous Diplomat. Well, at least he used to be. Now he's the Deputy Minister of Magic. Not a flashy job, nobody really knows that he works for the ministry. They all think that he retired. When I finish schooling, my dad and I will travel the world before I get a job. I hope to be a diplomat."
"Thank you for everything, James. It's really very thoughtful of you." I said, sitting down on my bed. James walked in after me and sat next to me. We both lay down at the same time, staring up at the canopy of my bed. I took in the intricate carvings, and I was awed. It was a story book depiction of Sleeping Beauty. It started with an embossed Once Upon A Time and ended with an engraved And They Lived Happily Ever After. Flipping over to my left, I asked James what being a wizard was like.
"No different from being a muggle, I suppose. Rules to be broken, promises to be kept. It's just that the boundaries that we have can be stretched a lot further than muggles. And my dad makes it a whole lot easier. I'm worried if he can survive with me off at Hogwarts."
"I'm sure he can. Besides, you'll be coming back every holiday, right?"
"Yes, I forgot about that. Hey Lil, do you want to spend Christmas here?"
"Well, I'd like that, but we'll have to ask our parents first. Oh my… James, there seems to be something schlumping into my room." I was very scared, so I pulled my feet up and hugged them to my chest. Surprised at my behaviour, James followed my gaze to the lump of orange fur that was steadily creeping towards my bed. Looking back at me, James grinned impishly and started laughing.
"What? What?" I cried in alarm.
"Lil, this is Gazro, our gaxx."
"Gaxx?"
"Magical animal. You see the orange hairs? Those are his teeth."
"What?" I bellowed, pulling my legs and arms closer to my body.
"Yeah, he's like a hedgehog of some sort. When he closes his mouth however, his skin has a healing quality. We took out the poison from his teeth and now he's our pet. But, he's supposed to be in the southern wing, along with the rest of the fantastical animals. Here, help me bring him." James conjured up a leash with two handles and slipped it over Gazro's head. Offering a handle to me, he cocked a smile and gave me a sidelong glance.
"M'lady."
"Good sir."
I took the handle and walked down the stairs out to the courtyard. I saw a strange little creature cross the floor and bow every few steps in an attempt to reach us.
"Impy! What is it?"
"Master James, Master James! We elves be missing you so. Who is Master James' lady friend?"
"Impy, this is Lily. She's going to live with us until I leave for school."
"Hi." I offered shyly. I had never met a house elf before, so I was quite amazed.
"You be wanting any cocoa Mistress Lily?"
"Impy, I think we'll want some lemonade in the atrium. Please bring it there when you can."
"Yes Master James. Will you be having me take that filthy creature off your hands, Master James?"
"No, I'll take care of it Impy. Father may rely on you house elves for everything, but I don't intend to. Run along Impy."
"James, I thought your father was a beatnik. Don't beatniks believe in self-service and all that jazz? Is he really a beatnik?"
"No, he just dresses like one. He's a very old soul. He even likes listening to Frank Sinatra."
"Your dad listens to Frank?"
"How do you know about him? He's a wizard singer!"
"No, he's a muggle singer!"
"Well, he always sings about unfamiliar things nowadays, so I guess he's crossed over."
"Yeah. Is this the atrium?"
"Yes it is. Would you like a tour?"
"Sure, why not? But can we put Gazro back in his enclosure first? I feel like a grand old lady at ascot with a strange breed of lapdog. "
"Sirius was right about you. You are funny! This is Gazro's enclosure."
"There we go… Goodbye Gazro, it was delightful walking with you." I giggled.
"Now, first up we have the Unicorn Madonna and child." James said as he extended his arm out like a proper gentleman. Giggling, I took it and put on a haughty expression and walked with pointy toes.
"The child, you see, is gold." He said, very superciliously. He deliberately turned his nose up at the enclosure and walked on very slowly, swinging his invisible diamond pocket watch. Although with James, I never know if he's pretending or not.
"Next up we have a hippogriff. Marvelous animal, the hippogriff. Half eagle, half horse. Majestic, wot wot?'
"Quite."
"Now, if the lady will be so kind as to direct her attention to the right enclosure which holds a griffin. A griffin is another eagle cross. This time it is an eagle with a lion. The Griffin is an extraordinary animal, correct?"
"Yes. Quite."
"Now, to the left we have a manticore. Frightfully boring creatures, manticores. Their scorpion tails, lion bodies, and human heads belie their true nature. All they do is sit around and eat lettuce."
"But I thought manticores were fearsome creatures, devouring the ancient world with such gusto that they died of indigestion!" I exclaimed, snapping out of my haughtiness.
"Well, we must've gotten a dud, because we tried feeding him meat and he nearly starved to death." James scowled at his manticore, making it turn around, let out a tremendous fart and lope off into the shadows.
"Well, maybe he's lonely." I offered. "Let's move on."
"Alright. We have a snow dragon to your right. She is quite a sight to see every winter. She turns a brilliant blue and freezes so she can hibernate. She is our centrepiece for Christmas every year, and she doesn't know! I'm sure she'd be livid if she found out."
The dragon eyed us warily, and ventured near the low wall that was the only barrier between her and us. Her snout went over the wall, and suddenly we heard another dragon call, a male one. She quickly withdrew and went back a safe distance, but still scrutinized us like a watchful headmistress.
Gathering my wits I walked on, eager to escape her icy gaze. A safe distance away, I asked James why she retreated.
"The barrier is magic, so she won't escape and eat us when we're snug in our beds. But we take really good care of all our animals. They were gifts from the different countries that my dad helped on his travels."
"Alright. Oh look, there's Impy with our lemonade!" I called, hurrying over. Parched as I was, I paused for a moment for James to catch up. He had stayed behind to get something. When he approached, I saw he had a bird as big as a large dog following him. Nonchalantly, he strolled over with his hands in his pockets and picked up a glass. Backing away slowly, I told him he had a stalker. Turning around slowly, he looked down and saw it.
"Oh Lil, you really shouldn't scare people like that. This is Gumbler, our roc. He was found in the mountains of Bulgaria, wounded and close to death. We supposed that he had hatched alone and fell out of his nest. Rocs aren't very good mothers, you know. So, we took him back to England and nursed him back to health. He is approximately three months old."
"But he's huge!" I said, waving my arms over my head, spilling my lemonade all over myself. I was never conscientious about clothes when I was eleven. "He can't be three months old!"
"Have you ever seen a full grown roc?" he asked me, in that infuriatingly right voice of his.
"No." I close to shouted, I was not one for being made a fool of.
"Well, I haven't either. This guy is three months old though, I'm sure of it."
"How, did he tell you?" I snidely asked, becoming the eleven-year-old nightmare.
"No, but one of our gnomes did. Not the garden variety, mind you. Our gnome is quite different, and he resides in an old chipped teapot."
"Well." I said, at a loss for words. There was no way I was going to compete with something more knowledgeable than I was. James was quite out of place in busy London and in muggle East End as well. My parents were the stuffy sort, preferring to live with stuffy old maids and old bachelors. But at his home, he was relaxed, confident, and quite appealing, I must say.
"James, you seem different. At ease with yourself, unlike you were in London. Why is that?"
"I'm king of my castle here Lil. I know my way around and there's nothing left for me to discover. In London and at your house, I was experiencing something for the first time."
"Alright." I said, pleased with his answer.
Later that night, we were in Eden, eating at the grand table. Mr. Potter was at one end of the table, eating a biscotti and James and I were wolfing down our risotto. Apparently, the Italian diplomat was in town and he was due to arrive in about an hour for a social call. He sent his food over and was on his way. Bounding up the stairs to my room after James, Mr. Potter called after me, "Lily dear, can I talk to you?"
Looking up, I saw that James had already run down his corridor and was on his way to his room. I was sure he wouldn't miss me, so I meekly went down the stairs once more, and stood in front of Mr. Potter. I had never been so polite! Usually, I scared the wits out of my teachers and authority figures. I don't know why, but wizards always demanded such respect, I dreaded mouthing off in front of them. I didn't want to seem ill bred.
"Yes Sir Mr. Potter?"
"Lily, your sister Petunia has been asking after you." He said, leaning forward and adjusting his reading glasses. Astonished, I sat down and took a moment to collect my thoughts.
"But, she hates me. I wouldn't have it any other way, mind you. But, why is she asking about me?"
"Do you suppose she's jealous?"
"She's always saying how much of a freak she thinks I am. I was always the one dragged home by the headmaster, not her. She got awards for snitching." I said darkly, remembering the time she snitched on me. I was pretending I was Jane from Tarzan and I had ripped my skit, mussed my hair, and tied my shirt so my stomach showed and I fussed about everything. I ran around agonizing all the girls and making all the boys laugh uncontrollably. Petunia had dashed off to the headmistress at the time and the stern old woman came out, imposing as a tank. She grabbed me by the ear and pulled me all the way home, all the while telling me of proper ladies decorum. That day, my father laughed so hard, he cried. My mum blew up like a big blowfish and pursed her lips tight like a dog's bottom. Petunia came home that day with an award for exemplary conduct and a badge for the excellent service to St. Claire's School for the Modern Day Child. She was made hall monitor and she ran my detentions up everyday. Remembering this, I grew closed and my brow furrowed, causing Mr. Potter to lean over and ask me what the matter was.
"Nothing, just bad memories, I guess."
Leaning back and laughing, he said to me over his scotch, "Lily, you are too young to have bad memories."
"Oh, you'd be surprised, Mr. Potter. The children nowadays are very jaded." I said with a knowing expression, nodding my head like an old professor.
"Well, that's beside the point. She seems to be missing you very dearly, and she won't admit it to anybody else but you."
"How do you know?" I asked, because this was quite abnormal behaviour for Petunia.
"She told me that she didn't want you associating with freaks and crackpots more than you already do."
"What?" I cried, appalled. Nobody talked like that about the Potters. Blood relative or no. Getting up abruptly, I pushed my chair back and headed for the great doors. Mr. Potter called after me, causing me to stop and turn around. The expression on my face was one of cold fury.
"Lily dear, we don't mind being insulted like that. It's just mere child's words. She is thirteen, I presume?"
"How'd you know? My anger curbed somewhat.
"Nasal voice. Now, I was wondering if you would like to see her tomorrow."
"No."
"She would like to see you."
"How would you know that?" I asked, incredulous. Had this man been watching my family?
"She came over today."
"How'd she find me?" I was very suspicious of her.
" She's really nosy. She asked around London and found that you were residing in the Potter's residence for the rest of the summer. She could very well grow up to be a secret agent."
"No, she'd be biased." I said with a sneer on my face. "She'd accuse me of every crime on the face of this planet and try her hardest to see me convicted of all of them."
"You don't like her much do you?" he asked. I was taken aback by the directness of the question but I admired him for it.
"No, I couldn't care less about her."
"I see. Good night, Lily. It was nice talking." Giving me a goodnight kiss on my forehead, he straightened up and walked to the east wing. Stunned, I was left standing in front of the great doors, my mouth open like a fish. ' I will never be able to understand him…' I thought, and set off for bed.
Disclaimer: Everything I own is rubbish.
I'm on the train now. Poor old Remus is sitting next to me, fast asleep. I won't wake him, the dear. James will never change. He still presses his face against the window to watch the trees zip past. And here comes Sirius, talking jovially with the sweets lady. I recall my first train ride to Hogwarts. It was on the first of September and I had just lived with the Potters for a month. James and his father lived in a grand old manor house with house elves and ghouls and gnomes. I dropped my trunk as soon as I entered the receiving hall. It stretched far and wider, larger then my house. Suddenly, I felt very inadequate.
"Do you expect me to clean for you?" I asked James pointedly.
"No. Do you want to?" He asked, grinning at me.
"Well, I have to pay rent. I might as well pay in kind."
"Whoever said such a thing, dear? Rent? We would be honoured if you would live with us for the remaining month of summer." Said Mr. Potter, folding his arms across his chest and frowning.
"But your house is so grand, I'm just not used to having something so nice because of what I am."
"What? Lil, I don't follow you…" James said, puzzled.
"I'm a witch, right?"
"Right. Dear, I don't understand where you're coming from either."
"Listen to me, both of you. I just got accepted to Hogwarts and then I have a complete paradigm shift! I am used to stovetop dinners, not elaborate feasts! I am used to bungalows, not grand manors! This makes me feel like I didn't work for anything that I got, and it makes me feel, well… inadequate and a cheat."
"Why are you a cheat?"
"I didn't work for any of this, and I'm free-loading." I pouted, sitting on my trunk. Mr. Potter came over and stooped down so he was eye- level with me.
"Now Lily," I was aghast because this was the first time he was being a responsible commanding father figure with me, "James and I will be very disappointed if you are not made comfortable. Now, there is no guilt being laid upon you, so please go up to your room and look out the window, take a bath, whatever. Just relax." He stood up, wiped away my solitary tear, and walked to the kitchen, cigarette pack in hand.
"Come on, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping. It's in my wing. My dad's wing is full of old, scary, dangerous things, so you're in my wing, the west wing. The east wing is my dad's sleeping area; the north wing is where our offices are located and the southern wing is the just the courtyard, the grounds, and the quidditch field. The centre, known around here as Eden is the dining room, the morning room, and the game room."
"That's a lot to remember… Where does your mum sleep?"
"I don't know who she is, sadly. She dropped me at my dad's doorstep when I was old enough to be on bottled milk. He's taken care of me since. Doesn't it have sort of fairytale quality about it? My dad was a right horny little bugger back then. That's why he's so young."
"Okay, your life just lost that fairytale quality. Is this your room?"
"Yes it is. Do you like it? Yours is bigger."
"Who are the Pembrokeshire Panthers?"
"My Quidditch team. You're room isn't so garishly lit. It's furniture dates back to the early 1890s in New York."
"Oh, do you have relations in New York?"
"No, my dad brought me to a house in New York once on holiday. He loved the classic décor, so he decided to apply it to the guest room."
"Why does your dad get to travel a lot?"
"He's a famous Diplomat. Well, at least he used to be. Now he's the Deputy Minister of Magic. Not a flashy job, nobody really knows that he works for the ministry. They all think that he retired. When I finish schooling, my dad and I will travel the world before I get a job. I hope to be a diplomat."
"Thank you for everything, James. It's really very thoughtful of you." I said, sitting down on my bed. James walked in after me and sat next to me. We both lay down at the same time, staring up at the canopy of my bed. I took in the intricate carvings, and I was awed. It was a story book depiction of Sleeping Beauty. It started with an embossed Once Upon A Time and ended with an engraved And They Lived Happily Ever After. Flipping over to my left, I asked James what being a wizard was like.
"No different from being a muggle, I suppose. Rules to be broken, promises to be kept. It's just that the boundaries that we have can be stretched a lot further than muggles. And my dad makes it a whole lot easier. I'm worried if he can survive with me off at Hogwarts."
"I'm sure he can. Besides, you'll be coming back every holiday, right?"
"Yes, I forgot about that. Hey Lil, do you want to spend Christmas here?"
"Well, I'd like that, but we'll have to ask our parents first. Oh my… James, there seems to be something schlumping into my room." I was very scared, so I pulled my feet up and hugged them to my chest. Surprised at my behaviour, James followed my gaze to the lump of orange fur that was steadily creeping towards my bed. Looking back at me, James grinned impishly and started laughing.
"What? What?" I cried in alarm.
"Lil, this is Gazro, our gaxx."
"Gaxx?"
"Magical animal. You see the orange hairs? Those are his teeth."
"What?" I bellowed, pulling my legs and arms closer to my body.
"Yeah, he's like a hedgehog of some sort. When he closes his mouth however, his skin has a healing quality. We took out the poison from his teeth and now he's our pet. But, he's supposed to be in the southern wing, along with the rest of the fantastical animals. Here, help me bring him." James conjured up a leash with two handles and slipped it over Gazro's head. Offering a handle to me, he cocked a smile and gave me a sidelong glance.
"M'lady."
"Good sir."
I took the handle and walked down the stairs out to the courtyard. I saw a strange little creature cross the floor and bow every few steps in an attempt to reach us.
"Impy! What is it?"
"Master James, Master James! We elves be missing you so. Who is Master James' lady friend?"
"Impy, this is Lily. She's going to live with us until I leave for school."
"Hi." I offered shyly. I had never met a house elf before, so I was quite amazed.
"You be wanting any cocoa Mistress Lily?"
"Impy, I think we'll want some lemonade in the atrium. Please bring it there when you can."
"Yes Master James. Will you be having me take that filthy creature off your hands, Master James?"
"No, I'll take care of it Impy. Father may rely on you house elves for everything, but I don't intend to. Run along Impy."
"James, I thought your father was a beatnik. Don't beatniks believe in self-service and all that jazz? Is he really a beatnik?"
"No, he just dresses like one. He's a very old soul. He even likes listening to Frank Sinatra."
"Your dad listens to Frank?"
"How do you know about him? He's a wizard singer!"
"No, he's a muggle singer!"
"Well, he always sings about unfamiliar things nowadays, so I guess he's crossed over."
"Yeah. Is this the atrium?"
"Yes it is. Would you like a tour?"
"Sure, why not? But can we put Gazro back in his enclosure first? I feel like a grand old lady at ascot with a strange breed of lapdog. "
"Sirius was right about you. You are funny! This is Gazro's enclosure."
"There we go… Goodbye Gazro, it was delightful walking with you." I giggled.
"Now, first up we have the Unicorn Madonna and child." James said as he extended his arm out like a proper gentleman. Giggling, I took it and put on a haughty expression and walked with pointy toes.
"The child, you see, is gold." He said, very superciliously. He deliberately turned his nose up at the enclosure and walked on very slowly, swinging his invisible diamond pocket watch. Although with James, I never know if he's pretending or not.
"Next up we have a hippogriff. Marvelous animal, the hippogriff. Half eagle, half horse. Majestic, wot wot?'
"Quite."
"Now, if the lady will be so kind as to direct her attention to the right enclosure which holds a griffin. A griffin is another eagle cross. This time it is an eagle with a lion. The Griffin is an extraordinary animal, correct?"
"Yes. Quite."
"Now, to the left we have a manticore. Frightfully boring creatures, manticores. Their scorpion tails, lion bodies, and human heads belie their true nature. All they do is sit around and eat lettuce."
"But I thought manticores were fearsome creatures, devouring the ancient world with such gusto that they died of indigestion!" I exclaimed, snapping out of my haughtiness.
"Well, we must've gotten a dud, because we tried feeding him meat and he nearly starved to death." James scowled at his manticore, making it turn around, let out a tremendous fart and lope off into the shadows.
"Well, maybe he's lonely." I offered. "Let's move on."
"Alright. We have a snow dragon to your right. She is quite a sight to see every winter. She turns a brilliant blue and freezes so she can hibernate. She is our centrepiece for Christmas every year, and she doesn't know! I'm sure she'd be livid if she found out."
The dragon eyed us warily, and ventured near the low wall that was the only barrier between her and us. Her snout went over the wall, and suddenly we heard another dragon call, a male one. She quickly withdrew and went back a safe distance, but still scrutinized us like a watchful headmistress.
Gathering my wits I walked on, eager to escape her icy gaze. A safe distance away, I asked James why she retreated.
"The barrier is magic, so she won't escape and eat us when we're snug in our beds. But we take really good care of all our animals. They were gifts from the different countries that my dad helped on his travels."
"Alright. Oh look, there's Impy with our lemonade!" I called, hurrying over. Parched as I was, I paused for a moment for James to catch up. He had stayed behind to get something. When he approached, I saw he had a bird as big as a large dog following him. Nonchalantly, he strolled over with his hands in his pockets and picked up a glass. Backing away slowly, I told him he had a stalker. Turning around slowly, he looked down and saw it.
"Oh Lil, you really shouldn't scare people like that. This is Gumbler, our roc. He was found in the mountains of Bulgaria, wounded and close to death. We supposed that he had hatched alone and fell out of his nest. Rocs aren't very good mothers, you know. So, we took him back to England and nursed him back to health. He is approximately three months old."
"But he's huge!" I said, waving my arms over my head, spilling my lemonade all over myself. I was never conscientious about clothes when I was eleven. "He can't be three months old!"
"Have you ever seen a full grown roc?" he asked me, in that infuriatingly right voice of his.
"No." I close to shouted, I was not one for being made a fool of.
"Well, I haven't either. This guy is three months old though, I'm sure of it."
"How, did he tell you?" I snidely asked, becoming the eleven-year-old nightmare.
"No, but one of our gnomes did. Not the garden variety, mind you. Our gnome is quite different, and he resides in an old chipped teapot."
"Well." I said, at a loss for words. There was no way I was going to compete with something more knowledgeable than I was. James was quite out of place in busy London and in muggle East End as well. My parents were the stuffy sort, preferring to live with stuffy old maids and old bachelors. But at his home, he was relaxed, confident, and quite appealing, I must say.
"James, you seem different. At ease with yourself, unlike you were in London. Why is that?"
"I'm king of my castle here Lil. I know my way around and there's nothing left for me to discover. In London and at your house, I was experiencing something for the first time."
"Alright." I said, pleased with his answer.
Later that night, we were in Eden, eating at the grand table. Mr. Potter was at one end of the table, eating a biscotti and James and I were wolfing down our risotto. Apparently, the Italian diplomat was in town and he was due to arrive in about an hour for a social call. He sent his food over and was on his way. Bounding up the stairs to my room after James, Mr. Potter called after me, "Lily dear, can I talk to you?"
Looking up, I saw that James had already run down his corridor and was on his way to his room. I was sure he wouldn't miss me, so I meekly went down the stairs once more, and stood in front of Mr. Potter. I had never been so polite! Usually, I scared the wits out of my teachers and authority figures. I don't know why, but wizards always demanded such respect, I dreaded mouthing off in front of them. I didn't want to seem ill bred.
"Yes Sir Mr. Potter?"
"Lily, your sister Petunia has been asking after you." He said, leaning forward and adjusting his reading glasses. Astonished, I sat down and took a moment to collect my thoughts.
"But, she hates me. I wouldn't have it any other way, mind you. But, why is she asking about me?"
"Do you suppose she's jealous?"
"She's always saying how much of a freak she thinks I am. I was always the one dragged home by the headmaster, not her. She got awards for snitching." I said darkly, remembering the time she snitched on me. I was pretending I was Jane from Tarzan and I had ripped my skit, mussed my hair, and tied my shirt so my stomach showed and I fussed about everything. I ran around agonizing all the girls and making all the boys laugh uncontrollably. Petunia had dashed off to the headmistress at the time and the stern old woman came out, imposing as a tank. She grabbed me by the ear and pulled me all the way home, all the while telling me of proper ladies decorum. That day, my father laughed so hard, he cried. My mum blew up like a big blowfish and pursed her lips tight like a dog's bottom. Petunia came home that day with an award for exemplary conduct and a badge for the excellent service to St. Claire's School for the Modern Day Child. She was made hall monitor and she ran my detentions up everyday. Remembering this, I grew closed and my brow furrowed, causing Mr. Potter to lean over and ask me what the matter was.
"Nothing, just bad memories, I guess."
Leaning back and laughing, he said to me over his scotch, "Lily, you are too young to have bad memories."
"Oh, you'd be surprised, Mr. Potter. The children nowadays are very jaded." I said with a knowing expression, nodding my head like an old professor.
"Well, that's beside the point. She seems to be missing you very dearly, and she won't admit it to anybody else but you."
"How do you know?" I asked, because this was quite abnormal behaviour for Petunia.
"She told me that she didn't want you associating with freaks and crackpots more than you already do."
"What?" I cried, appalled. Nobody talked like that about the Potters. Blood relative or no. Getting up abruptly, I pushed my chair back and headed for the great doors. Mr. Potter called after me, causing me to stop and turn around. The expression on my face was one of cold fury.
"Lily dear, we don't mind being insulted like that. It's just mere child's words. She is thirteen, I presume?"
"How'd you know? My anger curbed somewhat.
"Nasal voice. Now, I was wondering if you would like to see her tomorrow."
"No."
"She would like to see you."
"How would you know that?" I asked, incredulous. Had this man been watching my family?
"She came over today."
"How'd she find me?" I was very suspicious of her.
" She's really nosy. She asked around London and found that you were residing in the Potter's residence for the rest of the summer. She could very well grow up to be a secret agent."
"No, she'd be biased." I said with a sneer on my face. "She'd accuse me of every crime on the face of this planet and try her hardest to see me convicted of all of them."
"You don't like her much do you?" he asked. I was taken aback by the directness of the question but I admired him for it.
"No, I couldn't care less about her."
"I see. Good night, Lily. It was nice talking." Giving me a goodnight kiss on my forehead, he straightened up and walked to the east wing. Stunned, I was left standing in front of the great doors, my mouth open like a fish. ' I will never be able to understand him…' I thought, and set off for bed.