Ch3 - The Beanpole and the Midget
Richard had awoken when his head repeatedly bumped against the first flight of stairs and was now trailing behind Paul and Tim, rubbing his sore head and complaining softly to himself. Rich, absorbed in his thoughts wasn't looking ahead and literally ran into Paul and Tim when they stopped short. "Watch where you're going Beethoven" Paul snapped at Rich who just looked at his feet. Tim waited and polished the gun he'd been playing with before the crash.
Meanwhile aboard Starbug, the Dwarfers were busy putting out spot fires that had erupted due to their crash. "I'm afraid I have no idea what happened sirs" Kryten said extinguishing the fires on his console. "I mean what a time for the docking mechanisms to fail on us."
"Kryten," Rimmer started, "shut the smeg up."
"With all due respect sir you are a smeee heee." Rimmer ignored Kryten and went back to work. Sooner than expected the crew got everything under control and cleared up.
"Right," said Rimmer, "I suggest we take the bazookoids with us. They might be dangerous."
"Rimmer, they're Humans" Lister said, "its not like they'd fire on the remnants of their own species."
"You never know, they could be French."
Kryten nodded. "I'm afraid Mr. Rimmer does have a point, after all the French bought Greenpeace and turned it into a dolphin canning facility."
"Fine" conceded Lister.
Rimmer had a thought, "but what about the hole in the wall? won't we all be sucked into space if we step outside?"
"According to the psi-scan, Starbug neatly fills the hole, there's nothing to worry about until Starbug actually leaves the submarine." With that the Dwarfers took their first steps on the unknown vessel, Rimmer had his bazookoid raised, the rest however had left theirs just inside Starbug. The moment all four of them stood outside they were assaulted by a short angry man. "Who are you and what are you doing on Shitzu-Tonka property?" Once the crew began to pile out of Starbug, Rich got a case of nerves and as such Rich was now hiding behind a corner. The Cat looked at Paul and Tim and said loudly to the Dwarfers "Hey? What's with the beanpole and the midget?" Tim looked wide-eyed between Paul and the newcomers "Paul!" he said indignantly, "he called you a beanpole." Paul's eyes narrowed at Tim.
"Shut it, Ferguson or I'll shut it for you." Paul turned his attention back to the four above him. "Look mates, I don't know who you are but I want you off this crate as of yesterday alright?" The Dwarfers looked at Paul in surprise at the anger this man held. Kryten turned to the crew and stated "I do believe this is where we introduce ourselves."
"Really?" said Paul dripping with sarcasm, "I thought you should apologise for breaking and entering considering the situation." He said pointing to the hole that Starbug was now occupying. Kryten was unfazed and walked towards Paul extending his hand. Paul looked quizzically at the mechanoid. "What happened to you? someone use your head as a chew toy? Ugly...ugly ugly!" Paul said as if trying to goad the mechanoid.
"Sir, I'm a mechanoid." Paul smirked and turned to the corner, "Hey Rich, come on out! we've found some family of yours! Not only is he ugly" Paul emphasized the word again, "but he's not human either!" Rich poked his head around the corner timidly
"Paul, you think that's so funny don't you Mr. Tin Tin head" Rich said the worst insult he could think of, referring to Paul's fringe, the only piece of Paul's hair left after he took to it with a razor, was gelled up to resemble Tin Tin.