Ch 8 - I Feel A Song Coming On
"You failed at school," Paul began.
"Your family hates you." Tim and Rich joined in.
"You can't tongue kiss," continued Paul
"Your girlfriend's left you."
"You're boring and lame,"
"You're no good at sport."
At this point the song stopped and from seemingly out of nowhere Tim produced a ball, "here Paul! catch!" and at that threw the ball at Paul who missed, the ball falling through his outstretched arms.
"Damn," said Paul before beginning the song again.
"You'll always be alone,"
"People think you're strange."
"Tra la la la la" The three men put their hands together in a prayer position.
"But you know there's one way to go." Sung Paul
"Kill yourself, kill yourself,
Kill yourself, kill yourself,
Take the trip to hell.
C'mon kids commit suicide,
C'mon kids commit suicide," All three sung pretending to slash their wrists.
"Buy a ticket on a one way ride," Soloed Tim.
"C'mon kids commit suicide."
The three men began a harmonious round with their hands again in the prayer position.
"What have you got to live for?
You're nowhere, you're no-one, you're nothing."
The round was repeated 4 times before they continued on with the song.
"That'll teach 'em" Sung Paul
"for putting you down," The others joined in.
"Now they're sorry"
"for messing you 'round,"
"Your ex is crying"
"she said you wouldn't do it,"
"You were the best"
"now you've proved it yeah."
"Kill yourself, kill yourself,
Kill yourself, kill yourself,
Take the trip to hell.
C'mon kids commit suicide,
C'mon kids commit suicide,
Buy a ticket on a one way ride,
C'mon kids commit suicide." All three sung the last verse together.
The Dwarfers stared open mouthed at the three men as they finished, despite the somber content of the song, these men had beautifully harmonious voices that belied the nature of the three men who not long ago were at each other's throats.
"Sirs," began Kryten, "that matched all bar 1 requirements of a masterpiece" he said appreciatively
"But why sing about such a topic man?" asked Lister.
"Because we can," Paul shrugged.
"Fair enough" said the Cat.