Chapter 4

Sango had never liked to walk in front of the monk. She just didn't trust him being behind her and behaving. So once they had stepped outside Sango motioned for him to lead the way. With a disappointed look he took the lead. She walked by his right side two steps behind him, the perfect place where she could keep an eye on his wondering hands. She also loved this position because she could stare at him without being caught. From her spot she noticed how he would tuck a few strands of hair from his face behind his ear just to have the same strands fall back on his face after awhile. She found herself intrigued by the small war that he seemed to be waging against his silky hair. She was so lost in his actions that she didn't realize that they had passed the small restaurant a few minutes ago.

While Sango was intrigued by the epic battle between Miroku and his hair he was lost in his own thoughts. 'Friends. Just friends. That is what we should remain. So why do I keep thinking I might be wrong. I know my future is bleak but shouldn't I at least let the people I care about know what I feel for them. Isn't better for them to know what they meant to me than leaving them with doubt? … What I'm I thinking? I could never offer her my heart just for it to be taken away by this curse. The pain would be unbearable. And again I jump to conclusions. I don't even know if she would take my heart if I offered it to her. She probably sees me as just a friend. I haven't given her any reason to see me as anything but that.' He stopped his mental ranting when he saw the forest before them. Still walking forward, he turned slightly to his right and saw Sango was still following him. He couldn't help but smile as he noticed that she was staring at him with a dreamy look. 'I could be wrong.' Deciding to let her alone for now he led them towards the forest for a walk.

After a few minutes of avoiding puddles and muddy areas he found a good place to stop. It was a small opening in the forest where a large boulder laid in the center. The ground was covered with thick grass so the dirt underneath it hadn't become muddy. Rain clouds were scattered in the sky. The small amount of sunlight that got thru the cloudy sky gave the place an intimate feel and look. He couldn't believe his luck. First, she had left her weapons in the inn. So he wouldn't be hurt to bad if his hands decided to do a little exploring. Second, he had found a great spot where any man could woo the woman of his dreams. And thirdly, he was with a woman that he dreamed about often. Of course most of the dreams would surely get him killed if she ever found out about them. But there was the one that gave his life hope and meaning. The reason why he could smile even when he knew his days where numbered. The dream of what he could have if only he could defeat his vile curse. A family. Thru the years the dream had changed little. He stood with his wife in a hill looking down at their children playing in a clearing. He could never make out the faces of any of them but that didn't affect the way he felt. He felt complete in his dream. But something drastic had changed the last few times he had dreamt it. The last few times his faceless wife had been replaced by the woman that now followed him. This was the reason why he had allowed her to see his more truthful side those few times she needed comforting. Of course when he felt that she had seen enough of his other side he would allow his hands to do their magic. 'A condemned man has no right to such feelings.' That thought helped him feel justified for ruining those few precious moments.

He made his way to the boulder. As soon as she was standing by the boulder he stopped and turned to face her. She gave a startled cry as she realized that he was now staring at her. 'Oh kami, he caught me staring at him. How can explain to him that I wasn't doing what I was doing?' She felt her face heat up with embarrassment. When he smiled at her she looked down trying to get control over herself.

"I'm sorry Sango. But it seems that I passed the restaurant without knowing it." He couldn't help but laugh as she looked around and finally realized where they were.

"Where are we? How did we get here?" She looked at him feeling a bit disoriented.

"Let me see. Well we are here and I'm pretty sure we walked here." He gave her a playful look that earned him an angry one in return.

"I know that Houshi-sama. But what I was… Never mind, we should head back." She waited for him to lead the way but he didn't move.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll stay here for a moment. Your welcome to join me if you want." He sat on the boulder. He leaned his staff up against his right shoulder and looked at her expectantly.

"With those wondering hands of yours no thanks. I'm heading back." She started to walk back when she stopped. She wasn't to sure in which direction to go and stood there a moment. He quickly realized the problem and spoke.

"The town is in that direction. But please reconsider. It would be a real shame not to have someone to enjoy this beautiful place. I promise to behave if you do stay."

He gave her the innocent look he had perfected over the years. For the first time she really looked at her surrounding. 'Wow, this place is beautiful. How did I miss it before? It sure would be a shame not to stay for a while.' She turned to face him. 'Well, he did promise to behave. If he doesn't then I'll just hurt him.' She walked over to where he was sitting. He moved over and motioned for her to sit right next to him. She sat at the corner of boulder making sure there was an arm length of distance between them. Ignoring the disappointed look on his face she looked around enjoying the view. They sat there in silence.

She closed her eyes and took a breath of the humid cold air. She had always loved the way it smelled after it had rained. She could never really find words to explain the fragrance in the air. The best she could come up with was that the air was filled with life. The wet grass, the wet trees, and the wet flowers just seemed and smelled more alive after it had rained. Besides the great aroma of nature there was his presence. Despite the fact that she had to be wary of his wondering hands, she felt safe and peaceful when he was around her. 'This feels so right being here with him. He makes me feel so… What I'm I thinking? He doesn't care for me in any special way. Which is good because I don't feel that way either. I just like being near him is all. He's just a… friend? Right?' She asked herself and waited for an answer. It never came. She started to feel her anger rise. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him.

He was looking up at the sky when he felt her gaze on him. He ignored the feeling and continued to stare at the sky. 'I brought her to a place that only lovers should share knowing I have no right to her feelings.' He clenched his right hand. 'This curse makes sure of it. So, what I'm I doing here? What do I want from her?' Unlike Sango he did receive an answer from deep in his heart. He wanted the same thing he had always wanted since he started to have feelings for her. He wanted to know if she felt the same way about him as he did about her. Still feeling her gaze on him, he closed his eyes and lowered his head. He stayed like that for a moment trying to think of what to do next. Should he find a way to end this or should he try to find out what his heart wanted to know?

When he continued to ignore her she felt the anger rise to the point that she wanted to hit him. 'You do think of me as a friend don't you? So, why do I feel like you want something more from me? And if you do why do you flirt with other women in front of me? Is this some kind of game to you?' She directed her questions towards him after not being able to answer her own. The feelings of safety and peace that she had felt at the beginning where gone. Now there was only anger and uncertainty. These were feelings that he could stir in her as well. 'Why must you be like this? I'm so confused about my own feelings and I don't need you confusing me more.' She lowered her gaze from him and looked at her fisted hands.

"What do I want from you?" Without knowing it, she questioned herself out loud.

Her soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. He turned to her and allowed his heart to speak.

"Just name it and you shall have it." He whispered in a soft tone.

The second she looked up with a startled look he realized what he had done. What he saw in her eyes made him turn away from her. She now knew or at least suspected his secret. He had spoke without thinking that had been his mistake. He hadn't lied but sometimes the truth could do more harm. He felt vulnerable under her intense gaze. 'What did I just do? Baka! Baka! She was asking herself that so why did I answer like I did? I need to end this now.' Forcing himself he turned to face her. She said nothing and only gazed at him. He had no idea what to say so he did what came naturally. Lowering his gaze from hers, he allowed his hands to do their magic. Just when his hand was about to caress her bottom a small hand closed around his. Surprised that he had been caught he looked up into her eyes. For the second time today, Sango saw his facade fall before her. Regaining his composure he stood and turned to face her with a smile.

"Well it seems it's getting late. We should head back before Kagome-sama starts to think something that is not."

He offered his hand to the stunned beauty before him. She continued to stare at the place he had been sitting. He felt his inner strength start to break down. He was about to speak again when she stood. She avoided his questioning eyes and nodded for him to lead the way. After a moment he began to walk towards the town. She followed him taking her position as before. Both were lost in their own thought as they walked thru the forest.

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Author's Note: First, I want to thank all of the people that have reviewed my story. Secondly, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Consider this chapter a Christmas gift for all M&S fans. This will be my last update for 04. So see you all in 05.