Worth It

Chapter Five

Willow was sitting in her rooms after the welcoming feast and trying to gather her wits about her. She felt immensely grateful to Dumbledore for giving her introduction for her, and yet at the same time she felt that maybe if she'd had a chance to speak she could have been a little subtler about things. Just like Dumbledore to cut right to the chase though.

This is Willow. She's a Slytherin. She'll teach DADA.

That had been it. Willow had heard various murmurs running around the Great Hall, and then the feast has begun in proper and she'd been too busy deciding what to try a bite of next to really think about the reaction from the children. She wondered how Harry, Ron and Hermione were going to have received the news that she was in Slytherin. From what she'd seen, in between mouthfuls, students from different houses didn't really talk to one another.

I'm their teacher though, they'll have to talk to me, she paused and flopped backwards onto the large four poster bed that occupied most of the space in her bedroom, Willow, you're being stupid. It doesn't matter if you're in another house. Houses don't matter, you can't not be friends with someone just because a stupid hat decided they should sit on a different table to you.

A small, dark part of her subconscious snuck up and whispered at her, You didn't want to be in their house though!

I didn't know what the houses were! It's not my fault.

No, poor little Willow, nothing's ever your fault is it?

She quickly wiped that thought from her mind; it had struck a little bit too close to home. Okay, okay, so it is my fault. No more shirking of responsibilities for this witch, nuh-uh. I'm gonna be organised, and a role model and all sorts of good.

Nodding to herself in decisive satisfaction, Willow looked around her new bedroom. It had been late the previous evening when Snape had finally dropped her outside a long painting, with the brief explanation that the house elves – whatever they were – had brought her luggage up, and that to get in she would need to whisper a password to the painting, and then remember that word, otherwise she wouldn't be allowed back in. She had blindly struggled through what she assumed to be a living room, to a door that had a faint glow emanating from underneath it. When she opened it, she found herself looking into her bedroom – a smallish room, with plain white walls and a single candle lighting it from on top of a bedside table. The bed itself was the focal point of the room, as it was a large oak four-poster. The sheets and pillow were black, and the bedspread and hanging drapes were a rich emerald green to match the curtains and the thick squishy carpet on the floor.

That morning she had been woken by banging on her door and had opened it to find Professor Snape waiting impatiently for her. The day had been spent learning how to teach, as Snape had talked her through lesson plans, the DADA curriculum and how to give an effective lesson. He had acted the whole time as though he were doing her a huge favour, and she was grateful when it came time for the welcoming feast, even though it meant she had not had a chance to return to her rooms.

As she looked around her now she noticed a white door opposite the windows, and an ornate oak wardrobe in the corner opposite the bed. She wandered over to the door and opened it into a small bathroom. The was only just enough room inside it for the white enamel bath, which ran to the left of the door, a hand basin opposite her, and toilet to her right. Backing out again she walked out to the living room and surveyed the dark green leather couch; an ebony desk, with a leather top that matched the couch; two bookcases flanking the desk and finally a small stove, with cupboards either side of it, and above it.

The decorator could do with some Prozac, she giggled to herself, planning how she could bring some light into the place. Ooh, I wonder if I'm allowed to re-decorate. Her giggles died as she thought of having to live in the dark, depressing apartment for the foreseeable future. It wasn't a pleasant thought. Willow, despite her rather major lapses in judgement, was a bright, cheerful person, and the colour scheme certainly didn't suit her personality.

Suddenly, a small, olive green creature popped up next to her, making her jump backwards, nearly falling into the desk she'd been debating covering with bright cloth.

"Sorry Miss Willow, Pepper is not meaning to scare you! Master Dumbledore is sending Pepper to bring you to his office, Miss," the little thing chirped up at her.

Willow stared in amazement, Is this a house elf? she wondered to herself.

"Miss Willow?" The elf was still looking at her.

"Um," Willow didn't know what to say, "Pepper, was it?"

"Yes, Miss Willow. I am being your house elf." Pepper smiled proudly, "I am to be taking you to Dumbledore now."

Willow shrugged to herself and followed Pepper out of the doorway.

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"And I just knock, do I?"

Willow and Pepper were standing outside Dumbledore's office, and Willow was beginning to wonder why he had called her there.

What can he want to talk about now? she pondered silently, Snape's given me all the information I need for my lessons, and Dumbledore's already explained who the Order of the Phoenix are.

She knocked on the door, and it swung inwards with a slight creak, to reveal Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, his seemingly permanent grin still on his face, and Harry Potter on the other side of the desk, twisting round in his seat, so he could see who had just walked into the room. He looked as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

"Miss Rosenburg, you are probably wondering why I have summoned you here, so late at night."

Yup, that's about right, Willow thought, confused.

"Sit down, please. Gummy bear?"

"Uh, no thanks."

She picked the blue chair on Harry's right, and looked up expectantly at Dumbledore. Harry was looking just as confused as she was, although he definitely seemed more at home in the cluttered office.

"You will both recall, of course, the explanation I gave Miss Rosenburg in Diagon Alley, about the Order of the Phoenix, and what we do?" Harry nodded and Willow bobbed her head slightly. It had been an information overload, and she hoped Dumbledore wasn't going to expect her to recall every obscure little fact he had thrown at her.

"What I didn't explain to her was what happened during the summer."

Harry nodded and relaxed slightly, picking at a loose thread on his chair. Willow, on the other hand, tensed up and sat further forwards in her chair. In Diagon Alley Professor Dumbledore had ended his tale after the happenings in the Ministry of Magic, and Willow had thought that she'd picked up on something that wasn't being said.

"This summer the Death Eaters carried out one of their most audacious attacks since the last time Voldemort was around. They targeted one of our pupils, presumably because her father is the editor of the magazine 'The Quibbler'. Although Cornelius Fudge – the Minister for Magic, if you recall Willow?" Dumbledore looked enquiringly at her, and she nodded slowly, "Although Fudge has not allowed the Daily Prophet to report on the activities of some well-known Death Eaters further than naming them, Mr Lovegood took it upon himself to give detailed accounts of what these men and women are actually doing… with a bit of artistic license, shall we say?"

Willow frowned and raised a hand to her lips, toying nervously with one of her nails. "The student, is he okay? Or she? Are they okay? What happened?"

"Luckily we had inside information about the attack, and were able to send aurors to Miss Lovegood's home just before the attack occurred. Those sent included Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Nymphadora Tonks. They were able to rescue Miss Lovegood, who is back in school this term after spending some time with you, I believe, Harry?"

"Yeah, I went to Grimmauld Place with the Weasleys when we heard," said Harry. "Kingsley brought Luna over. He… He was…" Harry's voice shook, and Willow felt uneasy.

I wanted to know this.

Dumbledore continued the story for Harry, "I am afraid Mr Shacklebolt was very badly injured in the confrontation. Mr Weasley immediately took him to St. Mungo's but it was too late for the mediwitches to be able to help him."

Willow's breath caught in her throat. When Dumbledore had told her about the Order of the Phoenix he had mentioned that Kingsley Shacklebolt was a loyal member, doing everything in his power to help Dumbledore. Willow had liked the sound of him, and had hoped she would be able to meet him. To learn of his death in such a brusque manner was a shock, and she felt her stomach clench as she willed herself not to get too emotional.

You'd never met him Willow, you're being selfish. It explained why Harry had appeared so sullen in the small coffee shop, Dumbledore had brought up two subjects which were still painful for him to think of; Sirius and Shacklebolt. If they can talk about the man and not get all weepy, the least you can do is hear them out without embarrassing yourself, she scolded herself.

"So, you want me to… what? To join the Order? Take his place?" Willow could hardly believe she was saying it. It was harder to believe that that was what Dumbledore had called her there to propose. It was too soon, surely. To step into a dead man's shoes, and try and do a job that he'd been trained to do since school, while she had been struggling to control her magicks? It seemed ludicrous, and the solemn expression on Dumbledore's face indicated that he hadn't been suggesting that.

"No, Miss Rosenburg, I'm afraid the story does not end with the tragic loss of Mr Shacklebolt."

Willow felt herself starting to sweat, although the windows in the small office were open, letting in a stiff breeze. This was serious. This was not what she had been expecting when she had had to summon all of her courage just to reply to Dumbledore's owl, and to agree to teach in Hogwarts. Part of her was screaming at her to just leave the room then, to not listen to the end of the story because she knew in her gut that it couldn't have a happy ending. The rest was holding her still, the morbid curiosity within her forcing her to find out what happened next.

As though aware of her internal dilemma the door to Dumbledore's office swung open once more, to admit Severus Snape, who, upon noticing the occupants of the room, chose to merely close the door and lean upon it, than to submit himself to having to socialise with the two people who were currently the biggest thorns in his side.

Guess that's option one out of the window.

"As I was saying, the story does not end there. I told you that the aurors sent included Kingsley Shacklebolt, and also a Miss Nymphadora Tonks. Unfortunately the third auror, Jon Auld, had only just graduated from the auror academy, and was subsequently inept enough to get himself knocked unconscious very early on in the encounter." Dumbledore's face remained impassive, but his voice clearly conveyed his anger. "I warned Fudge that we would need more personnel, but the stubborn fool that he is, he refused to allow any more aurors to help us. His excuse was something along the lines of us only having sketchy information, which was from an unreliable source. The Death Eaters naturally realised their arrival had been anticipated, and abandoned Miss Lovegood in favour of taking Nymphadora Tonks, instead. They apparated out of the Lovegood estate with her, in order, we believe, to question her about how their attack had been discovered."

Dumbledore looked older, as Willow stared at him, shocked. His brows were knitted together in worry and his voice was wearing down, growing weary under the weight of the tale he had to tell. Willow in that moment could see how the war against Voldemort was taking its toll on the upbeat headmaster.

Losing your parents must be terrible, and Harry's lost the first hope of a family again just this summer. Now he's lost one friend, and had another taken by Death Eaters. I can understand why he seems so quiet now. But Dumbledore… Dumbledore's spent a lifetime losing people that he must have come to regard as his family, and he still keeps going. He's only human, but he still keeps a smile on his face, and makes sure that others keep on smiling too. Willow's respect for the headmaster increased tenfold, as she realised how strong the man must be to keep fighting, and to inspire others to take up the good fight as well.

"She will not be able to tell them what they want to know, either." Dumbledore continued, "That information is bound up by a spell, and only the secret keeper may reveal it. Nymphadora knows the answer, but she physically cannot tell them, not even to save herself from torture. This is both the best luck we could have, and at the same time a great sorrow to me. Voldemort is not stupid, he will guess that Nymphadora knows the answer to his questions, and he may torture her until he realises that it is the secret keeper he needs. However, while he thinks there is a chance he can break the spell and force her to tell him anyway, he will keep her alive."

Oh Goddess, Willow's mind reeled as she tried to comprehend the agony of being put through torture, and knowing she could save herself if she could only speak one word, to give the name of the source of Dumbledore's information. She wasn't a fool; she realised that once Voldemort had the name then his use for Tonks would be over, and she would be killed, but she also knew that there were worse things than death.

"How do you know he hasn't found this information out already?" she finally found courage enough to ask.

"Because," came a dry voice from over Willow's left shoulder, "I am still alive."

"You?"

The disbelief must have been evident in Willow's voice, as Snape snapped back at her, "Yes, me! What, do you imagine me to be totally useless, or merely spineless?"

"I… I didn't…" she stuttered under the force of his wrath.

"She meant nothing by it Severus, you know I neglected to mention your position to her, you would have been equally insulted if she hadn't shown surprise. Ignore him Willow, he has never been the most pleasant of people."

Willow could have sworn she heard Snape growl.

Dumbledore took a deep breath, "Aside from the fact that Nymphadora cannot tell Voldemort that it is Professor Snape who has been defecting, we have one more bit of good news. We believe we know where she is being held. From what Miss Lovegood was able to tell us, it sounds like it was the Zabini's who organised and initiated the attack, and it was Mr Zabini that Luna identified as being the one to apparate out of her house, holding onto Nymphadora."

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