Devoted Flower
Dedicated to Aika-chan (currrently under the penname FrozenBlueRose), who wanted more of this pairing to inspire her.
Disclaimer: i don't own YYH or the song...but i do love both of them.
Warnings: Shounen ai. That's it this time.
Genre: Angst/Romance.
Author's notes: This is the first time i've toyed with this pairing. Don't expect hot bunny-sex—damn it, BHS, now you have me hooked on that phrase!—'cause i need to adjust myself to it first. No yaoi-goodness...just shounen ai. Ain't it precious?
ankoku no sora - dark sky
fushigi na koe - a strange voice
ittai nani ga machigai na no ka - what in the world is wrong?
kono kokoro-goto moete ii - it's okay if this heart of mine burns
ano juboku no takumashisa omoishiru - I think of that tree's strength
dare yori mo zutto tsuyoku naru - I'll become much stronger than anyone
Excerpts from the song "Nightmare" sung by Megumi Ogata, Kurama's (human form) voice actor. Translations gotten off the Internet, so if it's wrong, you'll have to excuse me.
...ankoku no sora...
The storm clouds outside illuminated briefly with a new flash of lightning, bringing the sidewalks and semi-flooded streets below into view. The accompanying explosion of thunder sounded shortly afterwards, dulling the sense of hearing until the pitter-patter of the rain became obvious once more. The thunderstorm had been going on for a good two hours now, which served to worry the only occupant of the tiny apartment on the fifth floor of a building on the outskirts of Tokyo. He stared longingly out the window pane, blinking once every two and a half minutes, on average. He did so simply out of an unconscious desire to see a familiar figure flicker into sight just beyond the window and not-so-politely request shelter from the rain.
Of course, he merely took it as a "request" to keep the thoughts of this person from being excessively overbearing, because he would have liked to avoid considering this person to be rude. This person was very rude at times, but it had been perpetually ignored thanks to a tiny feeling growing inside. This feeling had gone unnoticed for long enough that a flower blossomed right under his nose, just as shunned as the feeling it had been born from for several years. It could no longer be overlooked, however, as this flower brought about feelings of deep longing.
...fushigi na koe...
But that feeling, once shunned and thought to be a fool's imagination, was now being utterly suppressed. This person, who was thought to be so rude, yet forgiven for such, had gone away. And there was no telling if he would return. And that little flower inside was wilting from the agony within the person gazing so dejectly at the rain. The rain, which precipitated so carelessly, so freely, as if of a will so innocent that it doubted harm could come from such a downpour. The streets were flooding from the sky's lack of consideration. This would hinder the travels of anyone out so late.
Sparing a glance to the clock on his desk, he noticed it was nearing very quickly to three in the morning. His gaze hovered down to the stereo, which was playing a smooth song with an interesting mix of orchestra and conventional instruments and a feminine voice. It was a beautiful song, he felt. And he loved the lyrics. It reminded him of the one that went away.
...ittai nani ga machigai na no ka!
Good question. Of course, the response would be so broad. This storm, that could be the answer. This longing he felt, that could be the answer. The desolation; the demons lingering around; the concept of death, of disease, of destruction, of being alone and unloved. But this all was merely fluttering around in the back of his mind and he returned his eyes to the window pane, watching a little solemnly, knowing there would be no knock on his door to indicate a visitor that he direly wished would stop by.
But this affection he felt was not meant to be. He knew it so dearly that it tore at his heart and soul, ripping apart the little flower that was wilting inside. He rubbed a hand over his chest, around the area over his beating heart. The emotional anguish stabbed little daggers at his physical heart, causing an ache that ought not to be there. He'd never experienced such a thing, not in all the years he'd been alive.
...kono kokoro-goto moete ii...
Still stroking a hand over his chest, a subtle smile played on his lips. He knew, within his heart that burned so badly, that this person—this rude person that was gone—was alive and well and happy. So, it was okay if his heart was in such agony, so long as this person was prosperous and content with life. Such was sure to be the case, as he had long since been fond of how he was sure to be living at the moment, locked in a desperate battle to survive, going on guts and wit alone, bearing through whatever hardships fate chose to throw at him. That was how he enjoyed himself, though many would find it rather awkward.
His heart was burning and it was okay. His chest was icy cold and his mouth was dry. His eyes were tired from lack of sleep and his belly rumbled from him being abstemious. He would eat momentarily, as soon as the rain stopped, but he wouldn't sleep as long as he could help it. Sleep was a cruel mistress, stealing him from conscious thought and throwing all his unconscious desires and interests at him. All this, and he couldn't do a thing to prevent it, as ceasing dreams often had sour consequences. He wasn't so desperate as to inflict himself with such things. Ceasing dreams often required ceasing sleep, which he couldn't do forever without literally killing himself. And death itself was a form of sleep, so even running away from it would inevitably bring him to it.
...ano juboku no takumashisa omoishiru...
Through the window pane, he saw a stray leaf toss and turn in the fierce winds just outside. It had fallen from a tall tree, he was sure. That leaf had been large and thick, strong like the tree ought to have been. It made his smile widen a little, thinking that it was surely like the one he longed for. This person was strong like the tallest, thickest tree. Hard and sturdy, stubborn and resolved...albeit a little thick.
And forever—now that he'd connected the two—this person would remind him of trees and leaves, just as another had done by lingering among such things. Although, these two people reminded him of each other. That had always come to pass, but they would surely be more related in his mind now that the pair were a memory away from each other, linked by a spider's web of thoughts and feelings. Each was only a thread away from the other. And both held a tight rein on a respectable place in his heart.
...dare yori mo zutto tsuyoku naru...
"I'll be strong...I'll be patient and wait," he whispered softly, seeing not beyond the window pane, but the glass itself, and noticing his reflection in it. Of course he would he strong. He always was strong. He was the fox thief of the demon realm and, despite his emotions strengthening from becoming fond of his human mother, he was still as strong as he'd always been. "And, once you no longer belong to another, I'll have my chance. I have centuries to wait."
Beyond the glass, and beyond the rain, in a little niche in the demon realm, the one he longed for was watching a similar storm from his side of the horizon. He blinked his chocolate eyes before a sneeze erupted from him. He shook his head and wondered who would be thinking about him at such a late hour. Always, the feelings the fox had for the hanyou would be left to shatter, forever assumed to be a helpful hand of friendship, as opposed to the devoted flower of love.
O.o i wrote Kurama/Yusuke. One-sided as it was, it was Kurama/Yusuke. Well, i've never done that pairing before, so it was a new experience, though the angst/romance genre was a very familiar feeling. So, it compensates for the somewhat awkward feeling i had doing that last paragraph. Heh heh... Hope you enjoyed it, Aika-chan!
5:00 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time. U.S. Friday, August 26, 2005.
Owakare.
Chiisai Mu.
Little Nothing.
This is, as stated in the summary, a "request and dedication thing." You supply me with a few details and i'll write a one-shot based on information given. It helps to hone my skills as a writer (and gives me something to do...) and it's a little shameless self-promotion on your part. So, here we go...
Rules! (yeah, i'm a little too specific with a few things...)
This is what i want:
One: i need a pairing or main characters involved. This is a vital piece. For a pairing, use the "someone/someone" approach (notice the backslash). For just a pair or trio or however many people, use "someone and someone" approach (notice the "and"). This will allow me to understand if you want it as a romantic thing or not. Should the review system prove to be a total bitch, the backslash will disappear, but there will be no space between the names, so i'll understand.
Two: i need genre. At most three. ...that's about it for genre.
Three: i need a plot summary. You can give me an ending or let me surprise you. Whichever. This is not required, but if you don't give it to me, i may not supply exactly what you may want. If you don't want to supply me with a summary, tell me the plot is at my whim, otherwise i'll be wondering if you forgot or not and stare into the ceiling for a while. If you chose not to give me one, it may take a bit for me to figure what to write.
Four: i need to know what you want to be said at the dedication. i will say your name (penname is mandatory unless you don't have a FanFiction account; nickname is optional), and a little something if you so chose. Use your words wisely, and please avoid lying. For instance, if you ask me to put that you and i are best buds and i have you to thank for every major achievement of mine—goodness forbid someone saying that—i'm going to laugh and ignore it. i will still write the chapter(s), but the dedication will simply comprise of your name and nothing more (unless i chose to be a smart-ass and add my own little comment).
Five: Have patience when you request. i'll work on them as i get them, so don't immediately assume yours will be the next that i post.
This is what i don't want:
One: For the love of good fanfiction, please avoid OCs. i honestly could do without them better than with them, unless you want me to do a Mary-Sue parody, which is definitely not my specialty.
Two: Please, avoid the canon-character/OC pairing. This will likely end ill, as i have a tendency to either make OCs out to be Mary-Sues, have a very miniscule part in the fic, or dead. ...the last one is my personal favorite.
Three: Please, for the love of my insanity and Hiei's persona, avoid pairing anyone with Hiei. Unless you want the relationship to fail in one way or another, i'd probably royally screw it up, 'cause i just can't see Hiei being in love. (If you want the pairing to fail, feel free to request it. i love a good angst-fest.)
Four: For the dedication, as i already touched on, do not lie, do not be stupid about it (funny is okay, but stupid isn't tolerable), and do avoid making me into an advertisement. i'm not the television here, and i'm not out to suggest whatever fics to whoever. Yes, the mere mention of your name is shameless self-promotion on your part, but i'm not going to go on a false tangent about how i love Whoever's fic "Blah Blah" just because you gave me a suggestion. Again, such an attempt will be laughed at and ignored.
Five: Don't just give me what you want a chapter to be like without commenting on at least one of the chapters i've posted. You can say something as insignificant as "Great job!" but don't go without saying at least something.
Six: Do not force yourself into thinking of something you want written. i would hate to be blamed for your aneurism. There will be plenty of chapters as long as i get enough requests and you'll be able to suggest something as soon as you think of it. Okay? Please, don't overexert yourselves. i would hate for that to happen. (No pity parties. i don't want you hurt, but i'm not playing into any guilt trips either.)
Seven: Don't think you're restricted to one dedication. Suggest as many things as you'd like and i'll get them written as soon as possible. If i can't find it within myself to finish something, i'll make a special request to you to change your idea. But i will work as hard as i can to get whatever you want to work.
Eight: No crossovers. Period. This is purely Yu Yu Hakusho.
Special Circumstances:
One: Should i feel that i could do your idea more justice as a fic of its own, i will ask to...erm..."steal" the idea and use it as its own. You'll of course be mentioned as the owner of the idea and i'll still dedicate it to you. And, as always, you can refuse and i'll try my best at throwing it into this. If you do let me steal the idea, i'll post the first chapter in this thing, then continue in another fic.
Two: Should you dislike what i've done with your idea...should i happen to kill all the visions you have of the concept, you can request to have the chapter removed. It won't be my place to refuse, but if i particularly like it, i will make a simple request to keep it up and offer to rewrite it, hopefully to your expectations, and post the rewritten version as a separate chapter. Both will still be dedicated to you, though if you dislike the previous one so much, i can repost it and remove the dedication and replace it with a filler dedication. This, of course, will be to a nonexistent person with the note that it has been changed for the betterment of the one that supplied the request.
Three: There may be an instance that i feel a single chapter would not do justice to an idea, but i can't expand on it enough to be a true multi-chapter fic. (i think multi-chapter fics should have at least ten chapters, or mine should, anyway.) If such a thing occurs, the request will span out for a length of up to four chapters. i will be monitoring all the chapters and hoping that they are all approximately the same length, sheerly because i'm a tad obsessive-compulsive. (Not quite enough to repost every chapter that i find a tiny mistake on, but enough that i read over the fics i write at least three times before posting a chapter, scanning diligently for error. i've gotten better at that over the years.)
That's about it:
Now, for the sake of getting you all out of this page and onto the review button, i'll stop racking my brain for any other rules that may appear. Should i need to change or add something, it'll appear in a future chapter.
Hope to get some requests. i haven't much better to do, really.