Night closed in on them again before Christine awoke. Raoul had shut the window and tucked Christine's blankets in tight to protect her from the chilled wind that blustered outside. A warm fire blazed in the hearth, the flickering flames the only light that fell upon Christine's face. Now Raoul sat forward in his chair as she began to stir. He gently stroked her hand as he softly spoke, "Are you hungry, chéri?"
"I suppose I should eat something. Oh Raoul, I just feel so…empty," she began to sniffle as she wrapped her arms about her stomach.
Raoul swallowed the sob in his throat, "I know this is hard. But we will find a way through it, I promise you."
"Is she still here?" Christine asked fearfully, looking towards the door as if she expected Nicole to come bursting through.
"No, she has been gone for quite some time. Michelle quickly escorted her out the door after…after you fell. But let's not speak of her now," he offered her a sad smile.
Christine looked up at him seriously. "There is something that I must say, and I need you to listen."
Raoul nodded silently. He had been preparing himself for this moment. He wasn't going to fight her or try to make it difficult. At least it seemed she was going to let him go gently.
"I am sure you have many questions…about why I helped Erik escape," she began slowly.
"Christine, you don't have to-"
"You said that you would listen," she said sternly.
Raoul breathed in deeply, becoming quiet again. She was obviously determined to voice the thoughts that hung in her mind. Was she so eager to be rid of him?
"I have had a difficult time understanding the reasons myself. Part of the matter was that…I did love him. When I believed he was the angel my father sent me, I became enamored of him. And I think some of those feelings have always lingered there, under the surface. If my love for you were an ocean, then my love for him would be the current. You do not know it's there, but it always pulls you away from the shore, away from where you feel safe." She bit her lip as Raoul lowered his eyes from hers, but she pressed on. "I think that is why it pained me so to think of him being dragged away to the noose. I saved him because I love him."
Christine turned her head as Raoul stood and started to pace the room. His breaking heart pumped fiery blood through his veins. It threatened to burn through him completely until there was nothing left of him but ash. And he would be grateful for it. Then Christine's soft voice flowed soothingly to his ears. "And the other reason was you."
Raoul furrowed his brow in confusion. Christine gave him a small smile and once again motioned for him to sit. As he lowered himself into the chair, she gently stroked his cheek. "I have always been honest with you, always told you everything, save for this. After we escaped the Opera house, I thought I was free. But that night, when everything was silent, I heard him. He was still in my head, singing the most pitiful song. I felt as though my heart were breaking with his. And it wouldn't stop- the next night and the next. I…I didn't know what to do."
"Christine, you never said anything," Raoul said, alarmed.
"I was too afraid. Afraid that he would always be there, afraid of what you would think. In time I learned to guard myself against it. I couldn't hear it over the sound of your voice, your laughter. You became my freedom," she finished warmly.
Raoul's eyes still swam with confusion. He was prepared for her rejection, believed that he had known the words she intended to use to release him. But he was no longer certain. Had Erik known all that she would say when he brought him to her?
"When I learned that Erik was going to die, the song began to grow louder again." Christine's voice became excited now, "And then I realized it. Why I could still hear his song in my head. It's because I was the cause of all his pain. My conscious spoke to me through his voice. I thought perhaps, if I did something to save him, I could redeem myself and free us."
Raoul nodded his head slowly, taking in everything Christine had just said. His voice was filled with sad doubt as he spoke. "Once you had freed him, you stayed with him."
"I…I was only trying to help him," Christine answered. Raoul looked back at her with questioning eyes. With a small sigh, she relented something she had hoped she wouldn't have to say. "I thought at first it could be something more. That perhaps I stayed with him because I secretly wished to. But I missed you and Christophe so terribly. And when I realized I was pregnant, my only thoughts were of finding my way back to you." She gripped both of his hands tightly as though she longed to keep him from being pulled away.
"You are drawn to him. You always have been. I must be lacking something that you find in him," Raoul said, slowly pulling his hands from her.
"Mon amour, that is not true," Christine protested.
"Chéri, I do not want you to stay in an unhappy marriage. Even if it hurts me to let you go," Raoul said honestly, looking deeply into her eyes.
"You don't have to let me go. I am exactly where I wish to be." She placed a hand on his chest, "I love you."
He moved onto the bed beside her, covering her hand with his. "I do not want you to spare my feelings or fear that you will be unable to see Christophe. You are certain that this is what you want?" he asked somberly.
Christine wrapped her arms about his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Raoul's mind was floating as her soft lips brushed lightly against his. His fingers gripped her hips tightly as he deepened their kiss. Suddenly he pulled back, shaking his head.
"This is not what you need right now. We can wait for this until you are well again." He leaned over and placed a tender kiss on her lips. He was smiling brightly as he stood. "I will have Henriette bring in some food."
As he reached for the brass door handle, it was violently thrown open, a body being thrown at his feet.