A/N: This fic has a similar theme to my first fic 'for the best', but it is definitely R/Hr with a side of H/G so sorry if you were expecting H/Hr. The fic starts out quite angsty, with hopefully a touch of humour once we get into the story, and I'm not so sure about the rating. Please R R to tell me what you think – I have finished a few chapters but suggestions are still very welcome – hope you enjoy!
Chapter 1
THREE YEARS AGOThree years ago something happened to Hermione Granger. The first was something that she chose and had considered to be the best; that was her decision to leave Ronald Weasley. The second was something that happened accidentally and she was convinced would ruin her life; that was when she found out she was pregnant with the aforementioned Ronald Weasley's baby. For 'The' Hermione Granger to be wrong about anything was unusual; for her to get two important things so wrong in the space of only a few weeks was downright bizarre.
Now the "leaving Ron decision" had come first; she hadn't known about the baby at the time. Her and Ron had been happy together since seventh year at Hogwarts. They had both known, or thought so anyway that the announcement of their 'dating' would surprise many people, especially fellow Gryffindors and had been most put out to find that no one not even Harry or Ginny were shocked and a few even had a running bet on which week of the year Hermione and Ron would actually hook up Valentine's week was most popular, and Seamus and Dean had both been relieved that they got together at Christmas, since they had been facing the possibility of financial ruin. For two people who had been friends for so long they made a seamless transition into a more intimate relationship, which often meant that whoever was in the room when they eventually finished fighting and bickering quickly had to leave for fear of being sick at their saliva swapping. Not through want of trying at least on Ron's part the two had remained 'innocents' until after seventh year and thus after the fall of the darkest wizard in the Magical world Harry had managed to defeat Voldermort in his seventh year at Hogwarts – a feat which nearly cost him and his friends their lives but which provided them all with a new found sense of freedom, respect and even a little celebrity. However, the summer after leaving Hogwarts Ron and Hermione had 'done the deed' so to speak and were blissfully happy thank you very much. A few months later Ron asked Hermione to move in with him Harry quickly decided to move out of their shared flat, since his friends activities turned his stomach and she accepted. For years they continued to be happy in their lives as their careers blossomed; Ron was an Auror, while Hermione had finally settled on the career of Healer and was more than pleased to find that she excelled at this.
However, the week after Hermione turned twenty-two something unexpected happened that changed how she viewed the world. Hermione had always viewed the world in a very logical fashion; puzzles had answers and everything could be explained one way or another. When she found out about going to Hogwarts and subsequently the rest of the magical world, she had struggled to find this logic and thus had taken solace in the comfort of books. Of course she was ridiculed for this, but she dismissed her critics and gained the highest marks in her school year in every subject except one Defence Against the Dark Arts – but Hermione felt that Harry deserved to get top marks in that subjects since he rid the world of Voldermort and all. But this event changed this ordered view; it changed how she thought and felt and lived; it impacted on the whole of her life and brought her to the decision that she must leave Ron.
Her parents died.
It wasn't Voldermort.
Hermione, and even Ron and Harry had always thought that they would be easy targets for Voldermort or one of his happy band of followers, but miraculously the Order had always managed to keep them safe. It was just an accident. A muggle accident involving a car, a truck and a truck driver who was not fit to drive. There was no magic involved and there was nothing Hermione could do. Her parents had always been her constant; her haven where she could be babied and spoilt, and felt utterly safe and happy. And in one second they were both gone.
Outwardly Hermione had felt she dealt with the situation well. Ron was worried about her, as was Harry and everyone else, but she seemed to cope with it all quite well. It wasn't as if she didn't cry for them, because she did. She mourned their loss, took some time off, talked about it to everyone who asked and tried to put it behind her. Gradually Ron and the others began to worry less; Hermione became more like the old Hermione and they all thought she was getting over it. Only she wasn't. She wasn't dealing with any of it and a few weeks after the funeral she told Ron she wanted to take a break.
He flipped of course. Went totally mad at her – then understanding when he suggested it was because of her parents, and when she said it wasn't – he lost it again. They argued viciously. They'd never rowed that before and in the end Hermione couldn't take it – she left.
Since she hadn't planned to go, she hadn't got a destination in mind. She just travelled around, hoping to find something of what she had lost. She didn't stay very long in one place and found it easy to stop reporters from following her by using some simple spells Harry had taught her since she was one of the group that helped to defeat Voldermort, she had received a lot more media attention - none of which she liked.
And then she found out.
About two months after she left she discovered she was pregnant. To say she was shocked was the understatement of the century. She was in denial for the first few weeks and when she accepted that she was having a baby she decided to go home.
Only it didn't quite work out like that. She found she couldn't go home and tell Ron sorry and by the way how did he feel about the pitter-patter of tiny Weasley feet. She loved him absolutely; she knew that even before she left – she'd just wanted a break but Ron had taken it so badly she had to leave. She wanted to go home. But she did not want the stress and hassle that awaited her – she may have only been away for a few weeks, but she hadn't contacted anyone and she knew they would be worried. Worried sick.
Truth be told she was still messed up and had found that the easiest way to cope with everything was to leave it behind and pretend it hadn't happened. So, instead of going home she found a place to live even though it was in the muggle world, a decent enough job even though it was in the muggle world and settled down to become a single parent. No Mum and Dad to help. No Harry and Ginny. No Weasley's. No Ron.
She cried every night until he was born, but she felt she deserved the pain. When she went into labour she cursed Ron's name, and when her son was born fourteen hours later she took it all back and thanked the heavens for him. She named him Ronald David, after his father and Grandfather, but called him Ronnie to make him hers. She loved him totally. He brought her peace and allowed her to stop with the grieving and look forward to the future, even though that future didn't include anyone else that meant anything to her, even though that future was consumed with guilt. She was quite happy considering.
And then, a few months after Ronnie turned two, Ginny found her. It was pure chance really; Ginny worked in Muggle relations and happened to be in the neighbourhood when she glanced and saw Hermione entering a small house. Ginny dismissed it, after all she and all her family had seen Hermione in a hundred different houses, streets and places both magical and muggle only to be let down at the last minute. They had decided that for Ron's sake they would stop looking for her – she obviously didn't want to be found. But the event as insignificant as it was, allowed Ginny some clarity about the new situation with her stupid brother and she decided that whether this 'Hermione' was the real one or not, she was going to find her for her brother's sake. Even if she couldn't make Hermione come home, she could find her and tell Ron and maybe that might be enough to stop him. All she knew at the time was that she had to do something and so far this was her best plan.