Chapter 2
I stood frozen. I closed my eyes and opened them. Still me in the casket. I turned and faced the crowd expecting people to start screaming because I was somehow standing right here, AND laying dead in the casket. Then I realized, no one could see me. No one was looking at me, they were looking through me. Later I took into account the many puffy eyes leaking with tears and sniffling noses and was comforted that that many people were sad because I was gone.
But at that moment, nothing made sense. Suddenly I wanted to look in the mirror and make sure I was me. But really, I knew who I was. Or at least, what I was. A ghost. It was the only logical explanation. Now the question was, why am I still here? My spirit should be in whatever after-life lies ahead. Shouldn't it? Well, I wasn't going to figure out any of those things any time soon, and there was one thing I needed to know.
Why and how did Lucius Malfoy kill me? And what did Malfoy and his gang have to do with it? But before my thoughts got any further, Dumbledore stepped up to a podium placed on the slightly raised from the ground stage that I was currently standing on. Even though I knew no one could see me, I felt weird standing up there. So I stepped down and sat on the grass.
"This is a tragedy beyond my imagination." Dumbledore's eyes sparkled with tears. "I could never do Hermione Granger justice no matter how magnificently I recall her to be. There are simply not enough words to do that. Some of you knew her personally, I being one of those people, and many of you knew her from classes or in passing. But I know with all that is in my heart and more, that she has touched a great many and loved a great many more."
He paused and looked into each of the Weasley's eyes, Harry's, Ron's, Hagrid's and my own parents'. They were all crying. My mum was sobbing. I couldn't stand to see her like that. I vaguely heard her whispering, "My baby, oh my baby. My poor baby." While shaking sobs into my father's chest who had his arms around her and a dead expression on his face. I had a feeling it would be like that for a long time.
Dumbledore went on, "Lucius Malfoy has been revealed as the heartless murderer that he is. He had his son and his son's friends sneak him into the castle. His intentions? To kidnap Harry Potter for the dark Lord Voldemort." Gasps, shrieks and winces ran through the crowd. "Hermione Granger was very inconveniently at the wrong place and the wrong time. After Miss Granger refused to tell Lucius Malfoy the possible current whereabouts of Harry Potter in the castle, he was caught red handed when a teacher rounded the corner and saw him use the unforgivable killing curse mercilessly." He paused respectfully then continued with much emotion. "Loyal to the end."
I couldn't believe it. I was just another victim to the filthy hands of Lucius Malfoy. Dumbledore's voice became tender. "Even though the good things I said about the beloved Miss Granger could never ease the pain, know and never forget that it is from the bottom of my heart." He stepped down and then it was actually time for people to come as they pleased and pay their last respects. What Dumbledore said really touched me. I knew he meant it, I could just tell by his voice. Suddenly grief washed over me and I wished so badly that I wasn't dead. There were still so many things I wanted to do in life. I never got to say good-bye to Dumbledore and Hagrid or sincerely thank them for everything. I didn't get to say my last "I love you" to my parents.
I didn't get to say good-bye to Ron and the Weasley family. And I didn't tell Harry... I wiped the ghost tears from my eyes and watched everyone pass my casket. Some people nodded, some people murmured something, some people more closely known to me broke down sobbing and hurried off to the arms of the nearest person. A couple people did something that truly broke my heart and touched it at the same time: they got down on their knees and prayed. I felt terrible. I wished I could tell these people not to cry and that I was right here. But I knew it was pointless. Half an hour later most of the people had gone inside or elsewhere. My parents had to leave because every time my mother saw my body she screamed an uncontrollable sob. My Dad had to almost carry her out, but he didn't have much left in him. The last person left to pay his respects was Harry. Ron left a little earlier to stay with his family and comfort them while receiving comfort as well. Ginny and Mrs. Weasley were taking it pretty rough.
Harry slowly walked up to my casket with his hands in his pocket. I could tell he was trying to keep it under control. But once he saw my body clearly, he dropped to his knees directly beside the dead me, dropped his head as the tears fell and grasped my cold, dead hand. A moan escaped my lips and I wanted so badly to feel his hand on mine. I walked onto the platform as well and knelt beside him. One look into his eyes as he raised his head and I saw everything and nothing. I saw pain, helplessness, and emptiness all at the same time. But there was something else as well.
Love.
Tears streamed from my eyes and I yearned to comfort him, to just touch him. He began to speak in a hushed, cracking voice. "Hermione." He broke off, tried to swallow the giant lump in his throat and I couldn't take it anymore than he could. I pressed my hands over my mouth and nose and cried for him. Cried for what could've been.
He spoke again, "Hermione, I – " he couldn't finish. I talked back to him. I knew he couldn't hear me but I didn't care. Nothing made sense any more; nothing needed to. "What Harry? I'm right here, what do you need?" I whispered close to his ear and longed for him to hear me. "Please, just look at me." My heart beat faster and I choked out the next words. "Harry turn around, I'm right here." He spoke again, quietly, "I love you." My breath stopped short, my heart skipped a beat, time froze, I was kneeling in a world where there was no one but Harry and me. More tears came. "I love you too." Suddenly I wanted him with all my body and soul so strongly that I could feel the 2 inches of air between us and the warmth of his body hovering around him.
Warmth? Harry dropped my limp hand and his eyes suddenly widened as he turned his head and looked right at me; into the naked depths of my soul. My mouth parted slightly in amazement. What was going on? But the questions didn't matter, the reasons didn't matter. All I knew was at that moment I was physically present, and Harry loved me.
I didn't know how I knew, but I knew that my time in this...whatever form it was, was limited. I told him so, "Harry I can't stay long." He replied, "Why?" We both knew I couldn't answer, and that he was asking so much more than that. I didn't know if he had heard me confess my love. And if he hadn't, he was soon to find out. My hand slipped around his neck and I finally tasted the sweetness of his lips as I poured my love into him, receiving just as much. It was amazing that such a simple act of love could say so much. A kiss is worth a thousand "I love yous." We held each other for a moment, both thinking the same thing: If only I would've said something before, we could've had something before it was too late. I took his head in my hands and gently pulled it towards me. He rested the side of his face on my chest and listened to my heartbeat. My voice hummed through his head. "Remember it." I told him.
He rested there for a moment longer then pulled away and nodded. "Always," he said. Already I felt myself fading. Harry sensed it too. "Wait," he pleaded. I could only kneel there and give him a sad, small smile. I was barely visible now and the coldness was growing. He took my hand that he was holding, pushed my palm to his lips, then held it against his cheek so that I was cupping it.
Then I was gone.
Harry knelt there in the deserted grounds with his own hand against his cheek. Slowly he stood and walked back towards the castle. A voice hummed through his head, "Remember it." "Always," he had said. He promised himself he wouldn't ever forget that sound.
He never did.