A/N: I completely made up the little inside jokes. I don't think there ever was a duchess with pastries, but let's face it, this ain't exactly an accurate, deep, meaningful fic now is it?
Oh, and, uh, this chapter's a little different because I've been writing papers and essay finals for a while, so it's more…verbose.
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Chemical Romance
Chapter 4
If You Ever Felt Curious
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The teacher cleared his throat in a thoroughly aristocratic yet bored way as the three boys in the back prepared to succeed in failing. He licked a thumb and counted down the row, his voice a droll lull.
"Now, I want you-" he slapped the stack of papers carelessly on the front desk. "-to answer to the best of your ability." Again, the thumb was licked, as if it had turned into pumice within the thirteen second interval. "A quarter of a point will be deducted for each incorrectly answered question-" slap! "-and you will receive no credit for skipped questions." He moved onto the third row, licking his thumb one last time. "If there are any questions during the test, do not-" slap! "-approach my desk. Your test will be void." He surveyed the room's uniformed students. "Any questions right now?"
The loathed and feared hand of Duo Maxwell shot up in the air. "Do we get any sort of extra credit at all in this class?" Of course he hadn't waited to be called on. Nooo, Mr. Maxwell's beloved son was just too good for that. He was going to choke on the snooty brats one of these days.
"No, Mr. Maxwell." The braided boy nodded and began to twiddle his pencil around in the air until Yuy- bless his soul- grabbed it, broke it in half, and set it back in Duo's hand, grumbling something incomprehensible under his breath. "Any other questions?"
Again, Maxwell's hand. "Can I borrow a pencil? Mine had an accident."
A low, reproving chuckle swept the room.
Rolling his eyes, the teacher passed back a good-old-fashioned No. 2 pencil.
"Very well then. Everyone ready?" Nervous nods. "And start." The papers flipped open and the students bent their brains to the task while the teacher, bemoaning his poor decision to become a teacher, sat back in his desk and read the papers they'd turned in not five minutes ago.
Barton, Trowa. 96 percent on an intriguing viewpoint essay in animal cruelty. He'd missed a 100 by simply getting some facts incorrect about the real way circuses ran.
Chang, Wufei. 0 percent. The fool had surprised every teacher in the school and not turned it in.
Maxwell, Duo. 52 percent for an elementary essay on a surprisingly intellectual topic of plague control in colonies. The idea was well thought out, but the boy wrote about as well as an uneducated log.
Winner, Quatre. 100 percent on a seemingly simple essay about the philosophical conflict between pacifism and a working government, and how the two could never truly mesh. A brilliant piece.
Yuy, Heero. 2 percent. He'd turned in a title page- just enough to get him ten points.
Of course, there were other kids in the class, but these five were the ones who'd taken up the back rows. Or, in Teacher Speak, were the ones who were either shy (like Winner, for all he could tell) or stupid (like Maxwell, apparently). Barton he assumed was shy, and in fact he'd assumed all but Maxwell were in that category. But, time would tell. He leaned further back into his chair. Oh yes, time would tell.
x---x
"I'm ready to ditch," Duo grumbled during their off period, sprawled in the grass and tossing a ball up and down in the air. He caught it one last time and swung himself upright. "Anyone wanna come?"
"To do what?" Heero asked from his lunch. Trowa was asleep against the tree nearby, showing a trust in them that was not about to be betrayed, regardless of their wanderlust. As Wufei and Quatre were inside finishing a game of chess, the task of guarding their compatriot from the homophobic student body fell to the first and second pilots.
Duo shrugged, doing another quick look-around to see any more flying projectiles. "I don't know. Anything but go to class. Besides, I've already gotta go down from my 72 in math. What better way than a zero for attendance?"
The competitive side of him rising up, Heero nodded pensively. "That's a good point."
Sensing his friend was weakening, Duo plowed further in. "Plus the chess match has to be almost done, and Trowa's gonna wake back up when the bell rings in two minutes. Then he can go sleep in a bed, and we could go ditch."
Heero nodded again. "And do what?"
Purple eyes rolled. "Hell, I don't know. Something fun. Something normal teenagers do."
He blinked. "I don't know what that is."
Duo chuckled. "Me neither, buddy." He stretched. "So, what do YOU think's fun?"
A silent smirk formed on his lips. "I did enjoy a run against L1-9668."
The braided boy broke out into hysterics. "Oh man, Heero, you gotta write some of that shit down. Remember that one time we were in Belgium? With the duchess and she just kept screaming, 'Not the pastries! Oh god, not the pastries!'"
Heero snorted. "I distinctly remember Deathscythe going in reverse to stomp on the bakery again, too."
"HA! How could I resist? Besides, it was already destroyed anyway."
"From the first time you stomped on it."
He sighed wistfully. "Ahhh, those were the good old days. Just me, my best buddies, and the stars."
Heero nodded and suddenly stilled. "I miss that."
The other boy just nodded, caught in reminiscing. "Yeah, me too." Duo grinned. "Or there was that one time in the French school…"
"Or Bolivia."
"Or the MULTIPLE Japan establishments."
Duo shook his head. "Man, why the hell did the scientists put us in a boring place like this school?"
Heero frowned. "It's America."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Duo waved off the thought of his rather random patriotism. "I've just never had an extended stay on-world, you know? And now we're up to…well, however long it's been, it's been…uh, long."
"Hn."
"Oh, no need to get so emphatic there, Hee-chan."
"Don't c-"
The bell clanged their brains to rattles, and Trowa's eyes jerked open. Duo waved at him, standing from his own seat and brushing the grass off his pants. "Hey, Tro. We're ditching."
Trowa just nodded. "Try not to get caught."
Duo's grin was almost feral. "Who, us? Not a chance. I'm Mr. Sneaky, after all."
A small smile was all he got in return, and Trowa was soon striding up to the school. Duo frowned. "He doesn't seem too happy."
"It's Trowa," Heero stated. "He never seems happy." He stood up, ignoring the grass on his pants as he tossed his garbage in the trashcan. Heero looked at Duo expectantly.
And, of course, Duo didn't disappoint. His usual grin in place, he led the way to the seven-foot brick wall that surrounded the school. With a simple shrug they hopped over it, Duo chatting all the while. "You know, we could probably go see how the gundams are doing."
"No, we might be on surveillance," he said, shaking his head as they walked through the forest. "What do normal teenagers do?"
Duo snorted. "Heero, buddy, I don't think either of us can really say." He chuckled. "Hell, I'm just glad to have gotten out of there. I think I'm allergic to idiots."
x---x
The knight took another move, and Wufei cursed. Quatre smiled.
"Checkmate."
"I know it's checkmate," Wufei growled, and his king toppled over. "Your pawn should never have gotten that far without-"
The door opened, and immediately their conversation shut off as Trowa entered, looking surprisingly downtrodden. Immediately Quatre was on his feet and giving his lover a bear hug, which Trowa reciprocated with the same silly half-smile he always got when the blonde was in his arms. "What's wrong, Trowa?"
"Heero and Duo are ditching," he stated, letting go to lie down on the bed.
Wufei glanced from Trowa to Quatre, missing the subtext of the statement. Quatre, ever observant, clarified. "They're ditching together."
Wufei rolled his eyes. "So what else is new? Duo's the only human Heero can stand for more than two hours."
"And you never wondered why that is?" Trowa added.
Finally, it hit him. He shot up from his chair. "Neither of them knows, either." A smirk began to form. "And both of them are interested, too."
Quatre's head tilted to the side, mind analyzing their friend's relationships. "How do you know Duo's interested? He's friendly to almost everyone."
Wufei's smirk was full-face now. "Remember the mascot?"
"And the English teacher," Quatre observed.
Trowa nodded. "So we set them up."
Quatre sat back down. "Or we don't." Wufei nodded and righted his king as Quatre continued. "We manipulate them into position, and let nature take over. They're already attracted, they just need to figure it out."
"And you think they won't kill us for this?" Trowa's blatant logic tore through their plan.
But, Quatre was right there, smiling. "Think of it as an experiment. A…chemistry experiment. So, to make sure it doesn't blow up in our faces, we have to carefully manipulate the elements so they react to one another as we want them to. And they want to react anyway." He leaned towards his lover. "Besides, aren't you the least bit curious?"
Trowa just looked straight at him. "To see how they kill us?"
Wufei snorted, but Quatre continued on. "Please, Trowa. Just help us…It is us, isn't it?" He paused to glance over at Wufei, who nodded, and then continued, smiling. "Just help us."
The brunette rolled his eyes and nodded, eyes closing. "Just remember I warned you." Trowa fell asleep to the sounds of plotting pilots.
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A/N: Well, I've been gone a while, haven't I? Heh. At least I showed up eventually, right?
…right?
Bueller?
Anyway, blame it on The Plotbunny From Hell, which is still raiding my brain. Apparently, I'm writing a 5x13 novella. Huzzah. Look for Elegance when I finally finish it. It's currently defacing my frontal lobe, so it shouldn't take too very long. Well, for me.
READER RESPONSES:
Kaaera: I hope the potential for hilarity was slightly realized this time…ack. Stupid paper-voice. Thanks for reviewing, as always!
ms trick: Awww, I'm glad my updating makes you happy. Sorry it comes so sporadically. (guilty grin.)
serena429: Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
kidishcaresh: I think everyone wants Duo to blow up their school. I sure did. Then again, I'm a pyromaniac, so that's no surprise. Thanks for reviewing!
Cerulean Waters: How'd I come up with the idea of a 52.1 percent? Well, it seemed like a competitive goal for 'em, and it's (obviously) their numbers squished together. Plus I just get really bored and think about stupid stuff like that at random.
Avel: AHHHHH! (Explodes in envy at thought of seeing My Chemical Romance in concert) You lucky thing you!
Cardcaptor Soldier: Oh NO! My tedious writing killed someone AGAIN! (pulls out the shock paddles). Sorry!
Aki-Arau: …Hah. Daily updates. That's funny. Thanks very much for reviewing! I'm glad you like it!
gods sent angel: Awww, you're so spectacular to me. How true, anime really IS a lifestyle. And tulips and daffodils are loving friendship and blossoming romance/early love. Thanks for reviewing, as always! I love hearing what you think/have to say/anything from you.
BrokenChains: Heh. I don't think I've ever "updated soon". Sorry 'bout that. But thank you for reviewing! Glad you like it, even though the chapters are so short.
bem: (shakes head) I know Quatre isn't a 'sissy', or pathetic in any way. He's just not fighting. He was raised by a pacifist, remember? (shrug) But anyway, thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
AzureSkies: Thanks so much! Sorry I don't update very quickly.
Yvonne: Why yes, you are crazy. Uh…yeah. Thanks for reviewing?
ravel queen: OH the temptation to put a lemon up. You have NO idea. I'm probably going to be putting that up on a different website, but…yeah. There's probably gonna be one. And I'm dying to write it. So just wait. You'll enjoy it…hopefully.
anime goddess: Aww, thanks! I hate vermin too. Rats, mice, and prairie dogs. Ugh.
Clown-Maiden: Thanks! Glad you like it!
Meiran Chang: First off, I know Quatre isn't a wimp. He was just raised by pacifists, and he only attacks those who he's told to, and pre-end-of-war, they were commanded to not bring attention to them, hence a lack of retaliation. But, more importantly, thank you very much for enjoying my fic. I'm glad you like it!