Radek stood just outside Rodney's quarters. It had been a while since his rooms has been checked, and the guard in the hall insisted that no one had entered since he was stationed there. Well, he was about to feel pretty damn stupid, because Radek had finally picked up a faint life reading inside, and was waiting for some gene-blessed soul to come and activate the door. He had yet to take the gene therapy. There was no need, with Rodney constantly on his ass. He was adverse to shots anyway, and saw no sense in being able to activate unknown equipment that may very well kill him. Rodney wanted everything turned on and studied. Radek preferred caution. He wanted to know exactly what was being turned on, before it exploded or melted into the table or created a permanent personal shield. He still loved to tease Rodney about that one.

Dammit.

Simon arrived, and ran his hand over the panel. Radek thanked him and dismissed him quickly.

It was a long shot, but he was used to long shots. His life was based on them.

The room was empty, but the door to the balcony was open. He walked out into the building wind, trying to ignore the fact that the skies were as grey as Rodney's uniform, threatening to explode around them. Well, well. It seemed long shots had a tendency to pay off. He walked towards the lone man standing at the rail, sighing in relief. "There you are! We've looked for you everywhere, you weren't here before. . .Rodney? What are you doing?" Radek slowly raised his hands as a gun was pointed at him.

"Leave." The voice was cold, concise, and deep. Rodney's eyes were hooded, but with a grip of steel.

Radek's mouth worked silently. Not a part of his plan. This was a Rodney McKay he never thought he'd see, one who had seemingly lost control. Or was he trying to regain it? He had no idea what to say. His brain tried to shut down, he wasn't trained for situations like this. "Rodney, please. Put the gun down."

"No."

Wide eyes focused on the weapon aimed at him. "You need to talk, we talk. Not a problem. Just. . .not like this, huh?"

"Apparently you comprehend English as well as you speak it. I said, no!" Rodney turned away and leaned his weight on the rail, staring out over the increasingly choppy waters. The gun rested in his grip, propped on the thin metal.

Radek slowly raised one hand to his radio and tapped it. "Major Sheppard?" he whispered.

"Radek?" The response was instantaneous.

"He's here. His balcony." He swallowed heavily. "He's got a gun."

There was a curse and sounds of voices behind him. "Don't let him go anywhere. I'm on my way. But listen, watch your back, okay?"

"Right." Radek tapped his radio off as Rodney spoke.

"It's no use, you know. He doesn't care either."

Radek blinked, lowering his hand slightly. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing."

"No, that sounded like something." Radek took a step forward. "Rodney, please. I am a friend. Talk to me."

"Talk?" Rodney turned, and slumped against the rail in disbelief. "Are you serious? Which equations would you like to discuss, huh? What formulas? What questions do you have?"

"Why do you hold your gun?"

"That's not what I meant by what questions do you have."

"Rodney. . ."

"Look, I'm just. . .tired, okay?" His voice cracked painfully. "You've heard the drill, god, everyone here has. I can't think, I can't sleep, I keep seeing these things, I can't keep doing this! I'm a menace, I'm going to get someone killed!"

"That isn't true!"

The rain started to fall, then poured in torrents, drenching them in a cold, bitter wetness. They stood there silently, neither attempting to move. Rodney wiped the water from his face and squinted at Radek. "Do you know what happened between Sheppard and me?"

"No, I. . ."

"I cause these things! I can't control it!"

"What are you. . ."

"She was inside him. He fucking tried to rape me while she was in him." He stomped forwards, pointing at himself with his gun. "I couldn't stop that! Neither could he! You think he just got over it? He hasn't talked to me since." A shudder passed over him, through him. "I ruined him." He backed away again, muttering, silently crying in a despair that Radek could only watch and not comprehend. The gun stayed in a firm grip. "I'll ruin everybody. I'll destroy this city before it's over, and all because I'm foolish enough to stay here."

Radek let his hands drop. He shook his head slowly, searching for words, but none came. None that were satisfactory. "Rodney, you listen to me now. We need you. Please, do not do this."

"That's what I'm trying to say. I am useless like this!"

"No, you're not useless." The voice came from just behind Radek, and he turned to see Sheppard standing there, just as drenched. Radek wondered how much of the conversation he had heard, how long he had been standing there. "You're just. . .having a bad day." He eyed the gun, his thought obvious, knowing Rodney was feeling desperate enough to act on it.

Rodney just laughed and turned away.

Sheppard eased past Radek, exchanging a concerned glance with the scientist, gently cautioning him to stay where he was. He wasn't certain Radek had a full grasp on the situation, whereas Sheppard now had. Rodney's back was to him, his shoulders moving as he chuckled. Sheppard wondered if he could overpower him, take the gun, but the balcony was too slick. He didn't want to risk pushing anyone over the edge, physically or otherwise. "Rodney, listen to me. I'm sorry. I needed time, I felt. . . I felt really ashamed. But I know what happened, I know what's been happening. You get that?"

"She wants me." Rodney's voice broke. "She says she needs me more than everyone here, that I can do better with her."

"She's said that before."

"I had something to return to before."

"Dammit Rodney, you have something to fight for here! You really think we're just going to let you go?" He waited for a response, for a chance to apologize, for Rodney to beat the crap out of him, anything. Nothing happened.

It took a new voice to catch his attention. "Listen to him, Rodney." Carson Beckett had joined them, responding to Sheppard's earlier call.

But Rodney just rolled his eyes. "Oh great, let's all have a pity party, huh? A little going away fling."

"No one's going anywhere." Sheppard took another step forward. His friend was too distraught, wavering, and too close to the rail.

"Look, don't you get it?" Rodney sighed. "I'm tired. I'm just – so tired." His eyes were haunting.

"Rodney," Carson walked towards him, one hand extended. They were closing in on him slowly. "Remember what you told me in the commissary? I think she heard you. She knows you're on to her, that's why she's affecting you this way. She's in trouble, and the only way she can save herself is to take you. Do you remember I when asked if she could manifest in her true form? Can you remember what that looks like? Do you really want to be a part of that?"

Rodney doubled over as a sob took him, his confusion painfully apparent. Carson dared another step, but Rodney snapped up, gun aimed at the doctor's chest in a trembling grip. The fear on his face was unspeakable.

Radek took Carson's arm and guided him back, then stepped up to the plate himself, stopping as the gun pointed at him. "Look at us. We wouldn't be here if we didn't care. That must say something."

Rodney shook his head, backing away slowly. Three were too many, too many. . .he wiped at his face, soaked with tears as well as rain. "I can't go on like this. I can't keep. . ." his face fell. He fought for control. "I won't."

"You don't have to. We've got this." Sheppard reached out invisibly steadying his friend. He walked until he stood right in front of him. "Look at me. Is this the way to this ascension, this enlightenment? Is this how the ancients would recruit? Trust me. It's a lie, Rodney, it's all a lie. She's playing to your fears, she knows what you want. And she knows how to get it."

Rodney met his eyes, then Carson's, and then Radek's. All soaked, all standing in the storm, all for him. The grip on his gun loosened, and Sheppard eased it from his grip. He un-cocked it and slid it into his leg holster. "There." He studied Rodney's face, waiting for a sign that the wall was coming down. A slight give in his posture was the signal. "What do you say we get out of the rain, huh?"

Rodney started to speak, started to agree, started to throw his exhausted soul at the mercy of the men in front on him, but a morbid howl drew him up short. And out of the darkness, a figure flew at them, nothing but tangled arms and legs and staring eyes. The scent of decay was overwhelming, putrid. It shrieked as it lunged at the men, sending them to the floor, and pulled up, aiming for one thing.

Rodney.