Chapter 4

Clarisse rested her head on the back of the leather seat, in the cool air of the royal Genovian limousine. With Joseph beside her, it was more than easy for her to relax. She was proud of what she had done today, and looking over to Joseph, she knew he was proud of her too. He slipped his hand under hers, which was resting on the seat in between them. His thumb softly caressing her as she closed her eyes.

Ordinarily she would be very uncomfortable. It felt like it had been 90 degrees in the shade, and her white suit felt like it was stuck to her. Her heels were no longer white, and Clarisse knew they would never be worn again. The soles were torn and tattered from the gravel, and the mud had covered the exquisite satin finish. Even her hands felt dirty. Her face was quite flushed, and she felt more than the need for a long bath.

With her eyes closed, Clarisse dreamed of Millie. She could still see the little woman lying peacefully as they had left her. She had looked so fragile, yet so content. It tore at Clarisse to know she was dying, yet she felt she had brought an easiness to Millie, as much as Millie had ever brought it to her over the years. It was another circle closing in around her. Who knew it would end as such?

He watched the last of the farmhouses, barns, and pasture lands disappear as they cruised down the highway towards the city. Little by little the housing grew and turned to a higher class of neighborhood. The kinds of houses that Clarisse was use to seeing, and their owners the people that she had associated with her whole life. Quite a difference from where they had just spent the majority of their afternoon.

If she had not looked so peaceful there, resting, he would have spoke to her. Joseph liked the idea of just watching her though. It was a rare occasion that she got to rest, and an even rarer one when he could watch her. She deserved a soft bed and a large, fluffy pillow to lie her head on. She had the best of everything, yet Joseph argued with himself that she deserved more. With her head tilted back against the seat, her neck was totally exposed to him. Oh how that neck turned him on. Her features were perfect and for a moment he thought of reaching out and touching her face, sliding his hand over the softness of her cheek. He held back the urge, and sit quietly next to her, admiring and loving his Queen.

Half an hour had past since Charlotte spoke to him. Ordinarily she would have went directly to Her Majesty. However, this news was more than just news now. It would effect the Queen personally. Joseph handled those matters, he was the only one who could. When it came to her personal life, Queen Clarisse Renaldi shut the world out. The world except for Joseph.

So now he stood several feet from the arch of the dining room doors, pacing quietly, waiting for her to finish her dinner. If he didn't wait, she would not even consider eating tonight, nor possibly tomorrow, her appetite chased away once more. It would be like the other times, Joseph would just have to come out and tell her. She would already know tonight, though. The quietness about her all evening had spoken to Joseph, telling him of the sadness and despair that loomed inside her heart. Even as she ate tonight, the fork was heavy in her hand.

Growing tired of moving her food around, Clarisse finally put down the fork. The chairs around her now were all empty, and she hated it. She hated it more than anything in the world. Eating alone, sleeping alone, just being alone. The Genovian palace employed over two hundred of her subjects, half living under the same roof. Yet she was alone. She felt alone. She felt alone more often than not.

Thinking back to earlier brought a smile upon her face. Children, so many children running about and playing in that small community. They had not what she had, yet they were more than happy, more than content. The took life as it came, and made use of what they had. Yes, those old tires would be a fortress one day. She would make sure of that. One day soon. Those children, those people deserved something good. For all they lacked, they acted more rich than Clarisse had ever known.

She remembered Millie. She would always remember Millie, with her flowered apron on, telling of her life, how happy and content she had been. All her children and her grandchildren...Clarisse envied her. She felt she could give up the crown for a family such as that. It tugged at her heart and soul, but the simple truth always came back to her. Clarisse Renaldi was made Queen for a reason. That reason may well be to take care of those good and kind people. No one else would see to that fortress.

"Clarisse?" They were alone, the table having long been cleared from in front of her. Joseph walked up next to her slowly, bringing her out of her daydream. "Care to walk with me?" He held out his arm, quite professionally from years of experience, yet still with a softness to his demeanor.

"I'd love to, Joseph," she replied softly, taking his arm as she stood. "I wanted to thank you for today, and I haven't saw you since we returned."

Joseph led them down the corridor into a large open formal room, across the floor to the doors leading out into the gardens. He stopped, offering her a seat first, then sat after she was comfortable. "I apologize, duty called."

"Oh, I know. I...I guess I just wanted to talk about today, and you were the only one I could talk to. I knew you were busy or you would have been beside me." She gave him a little smile, thankful for him always being next to her.

Joseph nodded, then hung his head at the thought of what he had to do. He had no idea how she would take it. Death never sat well with anyone, and Clarisse had already had more than her share of it.

She watched him twiddle with his fingers, and knew something was on his mind, something he did not want to tell her. There was a reason he no longer could look at her. "Joseph?" She placed a hand over his fingers.

Finally able to look at her, Joseph took her hand between his. "I have some news. Charlotte came to me about an hour ago. Clarisse..." He held her hand tighter, and prayed for the best before he began again. "Clarisse, Millie...well.."

"She died this evening," Clarisse softly stated, somehow realizing what he had to tell her. She lowered her head, and grasped his hand, and just let herself fall upon his shoulder.

"Yes. She died in her sleep. For that we can be thankful." Joseph wrapped his arms around her. He held her, tightly, not caring if anyone else should see. She needed him now, now being one of those times when no one else would do.

"Did you sleep any?" Joseph knocked lightly before walking on in her suite. She sat on her sofa, knees cuddled up in front of her, still in her robe. Joseph glanced at the clock, 9:45. "Charlotte was worried."

"I didn't mean to worry anyone. Really I didn't." She looked him in the eye. "I'm fine, really. I've been thinking a lot, this morning and last night. I do my best thinking here like this." She motioned to herself and her surroundings. "It's quiet." Joseph nodded.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I learned a lot yesterday, you know that. I want, no, I need to be able to reach those who can't come to me for...whatever...reason. I can't help but think of Millie. Joseph what if there's another like Millie...but someone who needs something that I can help them with. I know there are people who need me out there. I knew that before, but never realized how far away I really am from some of them." Joseph listened to her, really listened to her heart cry out. Yesterday had done more for her than he had realized.

"Clarisse, you are Queen of Genovia. You can do anything you want to do. Make it happen."

"I'd like to very much, but there is still Parliament to get past. How do I convince them of needs if I have no clue what they are either?" She leaned her head back in exasperation.

"I have watched you storm over each and every one of those men. If there is any person alive who has influence of the Genovian Parliament, it's you Clarisse. Think about it. There's the third who like you very much, and agree with you. There's the third of them who are scared of you, and then there's the last third who claim to be against you, yet find you amazingly attractive." Clarisse sat up, aghast at what she had just heard from him. "It's true, and you know it. Use it, Clarisse. Do it for the Millie's of Genovia."

As she sat and pondered at his words, he quietly rose and left, even before she had realized it. She had a lot of thinking to do, and a funeral to attend tomorrow. After that, or sometime in between, she had to admit to loving that man. Why was it harder than it sounded?

A/N- Yes, there's more...more, more, and more. Thank you for your kind reviews, they do so encourage me. Laura