A Place in This World

Thank you for all the words…my heart is singing!

I know hunting4max, she does seem forward; but my thinking is this. She has waited all her life for that "Great Love" and she wasted years with James that were not "Great Love" years. She is 29 years old and knows what she wants. She is independent and head strong, but also very confident and self-assured. She will show Erik that she loves and desires him on both a spiritual and physical level; and she can do that without being a slut, I hope you enjoy how she pulls it off!

Thank you to angelaura76 and Pertie…you are the ink in my pen (or…the ink in my cartridge, so to speak) you know what I mean! Thanks for reading!

I will continue to post the following warning from here on out, it may be modified on the chapters that it pertains to.

There will be a few chapters coming up, much later, that I would categorize as "M" on the rating chart. I will warn you as they are approaching. I did not think I could write these scenes, but I find that they flow quite easily. I am giving you fair warning. No one under 16 years of age should read them.

"Dignity doctor…dignity." (Gerard Butler as Dracula in "Dracula 2000

CHAPTER 29

The evening progressed and Erik grew more and more agitated as time went by. He had given his best effort this evening, but the insipid conversations and amateur dancing had him in a foul frame of mind. The conversation with his father earlier had him doubting that he could carry through with the role of Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan; he had given himself more credit than he should have.

FLASHBACK

Earlier that evening, when Erik was called away by Alastair…

Erik followed Alastair into the study and closed the door. Alastair turned towards him with an ashen face; a concerned look had replaced the normally relaxed features. He indicated for Erik to sit and both men reclined into the tall-backed, leather chairs by the desk.

Erik felt his heart beat in his throat and a feeling of dread had suddenly settled in his bones. What could be the problem? Alastair's hands were clasped in front of him and the knuckles were paling from the pressure he applied. He was obviously very upset about something, and all Erik could do was wait for him to speak.

"I was called into a meeting with the House of Lords this morning. They brought a very disturbing issue to my attention."Alastair lifted concerned and fearful eyes to Erik. "It is a matter of noble politics, something I detest; but unfortunately, it is a fact of life."Alastair smirked at Erik, his face holding little humor.

"An English Lord is making a claim on Berwithshire. He claims that his birthright goes back 350 years." Erik creased his forward and lifted his perfect eyebrow.

"It was not really an issue when you were considered lost to us…but now that you have been returned to your rightful title and birthright, he is pressing the matter."Erik was unsure of how this all tied in together, but he did not like the underlying hint of panic he heard in his fathers voice.

"What matter would that be, sir?" Erik asked with trepidation.

"It is an old statute that is never enforced, but his family has fallen on hard times and he sees a way out; through Berwithshire." Erik waited with an impatient glint in his eye for his father to get to the point. "The Lauchlan heir to Berwithshire must be married and expecting child of his own by the age of 30; or the lands, title and holdings revert back to our English cousins; in this case, Lord Edward Chisholm."

Erik had failed. He had failed to give his father the one thing he desired; another generation to rule over and tend to Berwithshire. He bowed his head in defeat and felt tears of betrayal and disappointment welling up. He looked at his father, who continued with the story.

"Because of your mitigating circumstances, the House of Lords have granted you a month, from the date of your arrival, to find a bride, and six months after the wedding to get her with child…that leaves two weeks." Alastair leaned forward and looked into Erik's dark features; looks of deep sorrow fell over Erik's face as he listened to his father pronounce his sentence.

"He is doing this because he knows my background…he knows that no woman will have me, and means to claim our lands for himself…knowing I will fail." Erik's words were forced through gritted teeth; a seething rage was rising to a boiling point in his soul"It would have been better if you had never found me, or I had died by the hangman's noose; either way, Berwithshire would be safe."

"Don't be absurd son…we can fight this." Erik looked incredulously at his father, not confident in his words.

"Indulge me, father; just how are we to fight this?" Erik asked.

Alastair looked at him with thoughtful eyes. "When tonight's festivities are over, we will call the family together and I will present the solution."

Alastair reached into his breast pocket and pulled out, what appeared to be, a telegram.

"Christine sent a telegram. I have not read it…I presumed you would not want me to." Alastair handed the paper into Erik's shaking hand. "You will never fully be free of her, my son. She captured your heart and stole a piece of your soul…she will always linger."

Erik had apparently not fooled his father with his blasé attitude toward Christine when he had bid her good-bye…a part of him, his heart, would always be hers; for he doubted anyone else would ever want it.

He lifted his eyes to Alastair; eyes that held shadows of the pain that had resided there for so many years. "Your mind let her go; now, if you could only convince your heart."Alastair turned with those words and left the study, Erik took a moment to reflect on what he had said, and followed.

Erik stuffed the telegram in his pocket, not wanting to read its content just yet. He made his way back into the ballroom, not even aware of the admiring stares he was soliciting from the women. He was aware they would turn to each other and whisper, but he always assumed they were mocking him or degrading him; and he was supposed to find a wife among them within two weeks. They could not even stand the sight of him! How much more outrageous could things get?

END FLASHBACK

He genuinely cared about his mother, father, sisters and their respective families. But he felt completely trapped in a life he was unprepared for. The reclusive part of his personality told him to cut his losses and get out, leaving them to a life without him; they would adjust to his absence; after all, they knew he was alive.

The refined part of his personality gently prodded him to accept his new life; and not accept it, but embrace it. There were aspects about it that he truly enjoyed. The unlimited time under the Scottish sun was one of those things. He had discovered a land as wild and uninhibited as his soul, and he did not wish to part with it. Having time in the sun was luxury that Erik had done without almost all his life. He would hate to give it up.

Erik was a genius, an artist, and a magician; he could fake his death and allow his family to mourn him properly. He had done it before, and he could do it again. He could find a place where beautiful, auburn-haired, turquoise-eyed temptresses did not exist and he could be completely alone for the rest of his life…as he should be. He could resume his composing and allow his solitude and self-detestable mind frame to feed his art, as it had always done in the past.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn had not had an opportunity to move toward Erik and ask him to dance. She had been coerced into a conversation with Lady Treasa Murray, a…shall we say…acquaintance from her earlier years. She and Treasa had gone to Boarding School together; they had never really been friends, but they had talked on occasion…unfortunately…this was an occasion.

She had watched him as he gracefully flowed back into the room, but his countenance had changed considerably. He no longer had the inviting stance to his rigid body and his shoulders were slightly slumped, as if he had been given bad news. What on earth had Alastair told him?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik could bear it no longer and left the confines of the ballroom. He could feel the walls closing in on him with every passing moment. He slipped onto the veranda and headed for the Conservatory; answering the plea of his one true love…music.

He found the double doors to the conservatory were open for effect and he floated in, as though riding the wind. The piano seemed to summon him with its glossy shine and polished keys. He worshipfully ran his hands along the outside edges and propped the top of it open to about half way. He could feel the anticipation building in his body as he heard a melody stirring in his mind.

He could be anyone he wanted to be with music. It did not expect anything of him, nor did it care that he wore a mask; it only did his bidding. The first strands of the melody were tranquil and peaceful; gliding out the doors and carried on the wind toward the lake. Erik's best moments were shining in its hushed tones and buoyant whispers.

He moved into a more demanding sound as the music progressed; telling the story of his squalid past and the constant, inner search for truth that had always eluded him. His powerful emotions and strong passions marched on every note. The pain he endured as a child, all but forgotten, chilled the night air as the cries of a four-year-old boy echoed in the music's eerie resonance.

Tears, unbridled and shameless, fell from Erik's eyes onto the keys. He was unaware of anything or anyone as he completely surrendered to the call of the wild. He barely breathed as he moved in unison with the music, becoming one with its rich and sorrowful timbre. His closing stanza was full of promise, as he swore to the music that he would never again abandon her; for she had never abandoned him.

0000000000

A'awynn watched as Erik left through the terrace doors. She could see that he was escaping the crowd, and felt she could relate to that. She turned to follow him when Kaitlyn caught her arm and informed her that Lacey was asking for her. A'awynn turned on her heal and immediately made her way to her daughters room, a feeling of motherly anxiety gripping her heart.

Kaitlyn started to follow, but A'awynn insisted that she would be fine, requesting that Kaitlyn continue to enjoy the evening. The hallways were virtually empty as she made her way through them toward her suite near the West Wing. She reached the door and swung it open. The first sound she heard was Lacey's soft whimper as she rounded the corner toward Lacey's room.

Lacey bounded off the bed and into her mama's arms as A'awynn bent over and scooped her petite daughter into her embrace. She placed a kiss on Lacey's wet cheek and pushed the stray curls from her face.

"What is it Lacey?"A'awynn administered motherly caresses to Lacey's back,"Why are you crying, honey?" A'awynn sat down on the edge of the bed and rocked her daughter softly.

Her soft whimpers stalled and Lacey looked into her mother's concerned eyes. "I had a really bad nightmare…there was a man…I know it was Erik…" Lacey saw the surprise in A'awynn's eyes and thought she did not remember Erik, "…you remember him mama, the man we came to be friends with…" A'awynn smiled and shook her head. "I saw him in a dark place with no windows and he was crying and alone…very alone. He kept calling for a woman, but she never came…she had left him mama…," new tears fell from Lacey's already drenched eyes. "…she left him all alone and he wanted to die…die to make her happy." The last statement was said in a whisper wracked with sobs.

A'awynn continued to rock Lacey as the child cried for a man she had never meant, but who had earned her love and compassion, simply by being scarred and alone. "I also saw him put a rope around his neck mommy…I think he tried to kill himself."

Lacey's agonized eyes caused A'awynn to place another kiss upon her forehead. The words that her daughter had said disturbed A'awynn greatly. Had Erik tried to kill himself? If so, why?

They both heard it at the same time. The wonderful, angelic music floated on the wind, soaring in the open window. "Where is that coming from mama?" Lacey asked. A'awynn carried Lacey to the window and looked out. The conservatory was across the courtyard, almost directly across from the suite in which they were staying. A'awynn could barely make out the figure of a man at the piano. A man she recognized.

She continued to carry Lacey down the hall toward the heavenly sound. As they approached the music, A'awynn placed Lacey on the floor and removed her shoes; somehow, it seemed that the music and the man creating it was sacred, as well as the moment. Both young ladies walked toward the man on the bench, neither of them wishing to disturb him.

He had removed his jacket, vest, and cravat and all he wore was his shirt, pants and boots. His sleeves were long and flowing, creating wings as he floated across the keys. All that A'awynn saw of him was his broad, muscular back, his shapely backside and the neck-length, raven curls that seemed to have a mind of their own.

He was a magnificent sight, but what really caught her attention was the music he created. She had never heard such passion and pain come from the same person within the same stanza of music. He was a master pianist, easily conquering each chord combination and impervious to sharps and flats. He changed keys effortlessly from minor to major and back again; never ruining the flow of the music…it was magical.

Even better than all of that, he was softly singing. The words were unrecognizable or foreign, she wasn't sure; all she knew was that she had never heard such a voice. He was a tenor, that was obvious, but his range was superb. He fluently sang the upper register notes and in the next moment, was sinking into the bass notes flawlessly. She did not know that such talent existed.

Lacey could not stop herself from approaching the man at the piano; something about him was very familiar. She tried to hum along with and Erik immediately became aware of her presence and that of A'awynn. He jerked up from the bench and away from the piano in one fluid motion.

Lacey was not in the least bit frightened by his sudden movement; she stood her ground and looked into Erik's stormy, green eyes. Erik had never experienced such a stare before. It was unnerving. His raw emotions were still very much exposed from his affair with the music, and he did not like the fact that this tiny girl seemed to be able to read his mind.

Those innocent, grey eyes regarded him with no malice or disgust, just curiosity and kindness.

Her mother's words interrupted the moment, and Erik looked again at Lady A'awynn. "Lacey, I would like to introduce to you, Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan, Earl of Berwithshire." Lacey curtsied to him and this brought a strained smile to Erik's face. He swept into a low, elegant bow, which made her giggle.

"Lord Erik, this is my daughter, Lady Lacey Patrice Yancey,"he heard A'awynn say.

Erik took his second bow, completely exaggerating the motions, causing another fit of giggles from the delightful little girl. He came down from his lofty height and squatted in front of her; taking her wee hand in his gigantic one, he placed a kiss atop it, making Lacey blush a pretty shade of pink.

Her petite body moved into his chest and she held his head between her hands, not even questioning the mask. "I have dreams about you Mr. Erik, dreams that make me sad."

Erik was taken aback by her revelation. This girl did not know him at all, and she was having dreams about him? From the sound of it, her dreams were more like nightmares.

She took his hand and pulled it around to her upper back; causing him to feel what felt like scars on her back. She looked deep into his eyes and spoke to his soul, "Mama told me about your scars; scars that a mean man gave you. When she said that we were coming to meet you, I said I wantedto be your special friend…because I am scarred too. Can I be your special friend, Erik?"

Erik smiled through the tears, "I would be delighted to call you friend, Lady Lacey. I don't have many of those." Erik ruffled the thick, blond curls on her head and stood up.

Lacey, however, was not finished with him, "Can you teach me to play like that?"

She stared longingly at the piano and gently touched one of the black keys and the softest, sweetest sound came forth. She almost worshipped the sound that emanated from it.

Erik gently smiled down at her, "If your mother says that you can be taught by an awfully grumpy, hideously ugly, old masked man, than I would find the opportunity to teach you, enchanting."

Lacey giggled and clapped her hands together gleefully. A'awynn just laughed and watched her prance around like a life-size fairy.

Erik stood at the terrace door and watched as people began to file out of the doors of the ballroom and head home. The music from the orchestra was still heard, as its whisper lingered on the breeze. Erik turned to A'awynn and once again was struck by how stunning she looked. He had never seen a woman with her coloring before and he felt sure he would never see one again.

"I am sorry that our conversation was cut short earlier, my father had some business he had to discuss with me." Erik bowed and asked, "Was there something you had intended to ask me? It seemed that you had an inquiring look on your face as I left."

A'awynn blushed slightly, anxious but also hesitant to invite him to dance. She coyly smiled, "Lord Erik, I am a very open-minded woman with strong opinions and convictions…I hope you understand that I am sometimes a bit forward in my thinking; I hope I do not offend you."

Erik actually laughed at that, not grasping why she would care about his feelings. She loved the way his melodious voice sounded when he laughed. "There is not much in life that would offend me; so I think you're safe."

He turned to head out the terrace doors, toward the courtyard. A'awynn's soft whisper reached his ears and he turned to her, "I never got the pleasure of a dance, my lord."

He just stood there without saying a word. However, his mind was very active. (I had hoped she was different and would not pretend to have an attraction for me just to vie for the money and title…) Erik's jaded heart ached dully, (I never was a very good judge of character.) Erik watched as her feminine form strolled towards him; he flinched as she gently took his hand.

His eyes had clouded over with a look of pain and A'awynn could not fathom why he would recoil from her touch. She could see the admiration in his impossibly green eyes; he was obviously attracted to her. He visibly relaxed after a few seconds of her hand being in his and he cautiously circled her waist with his arm and led her onto the terrace.

His face held no emotion as he dutifully danced with her. A'awynn got the impression that he was purposefully avoiding eye contact and his body was rigid, as if he feared getting too close to her. The music was just loud enough that they could make out the melody and Erik hummed softly as he waltzed with her. Even though she was obviously playing him for the fool, he enjoyed the simple pleasure of having a beautiful woman in his arms, if even for a fleeting moment.

A'awynn could not help but see the shadow of a deep pain in his beautifully, haunted eyes; it had not been there earlier and she wished she could remove it from him. He seemed much less approachable than he had at the beginning of the night and A'awynn found herself curious about the conversation he had had with Alastair. Whatever it was, it had altered Erik; giving him a more reserved demeanor and suffering eyes.

OOOOOOOOOO

The guests were almost gone and the music had come to and end. Erik and A'awynn danced a few minutes until Erik abruptly pulled away from her. "It has been a pleasure, Lady A'awynn. You are a skilled dancing partner and I have finally enjoyed the art of dancing tonight, thank you." Erik gave a suave bow. "Your daughter is a beautiful child and I do hope you consider allowing me to teach her to play the piano; I may look a fright, but I don't really bite." That said, Erik turned and walked toward the ballroom. It was 11:15 p.m., and the family began to gather for the meeting that Erik dreaded.

Chapter 30 Preview – A Family Meeting and Glimpses of a Phantom