A Place in This World
Many quick responses on the last chapter. I felt that I needed to add a bit of mystery to the story, I hope you will all enjoy…
Pertie, Erik still loves Christine, but he is no longer "in love" with Christine; he is an extremely intelligent man and I think it goes against his personality to beat a dead horse…she will always hold a special place in his heart…but, at least in this story, there will not be anything between them other than a deep abiding friendship.
OperaLover and hunting4max…answers are coming…(wink)
Angelaura76, sorry about the turn of events. Things were just going along too smoothly. Erik needs a bit of excitement in his life, and a challenge. Stay tuned.
Eriksangelofvoice…he still has Phantom moments…
I will continue to post the following warning from here on out, it may be modified on the chapters that it pertains to.
There will be a few chapters coming up much later, that I would categorize as "M" on the rating chart. I will warn you as they are approaching. I did not think I could write these scenes, but I find that they flow quite easily. I am giving you fair warning. No one under 16 years of age should read them.
There's no place like home…(Dorothy from the "The Wizard of Oz")
CHAPTER 30
Erik sat on the divan waiting on the family. He took this brief reprieve and pulled out the telegram that Christine had sent him. He had an unsettled feeling; something told him things were not right…
"Dear Erik,
I find this a very difficult note to write. I have treated you inexcusably in the past and am not deserving of the request I ask; however, of all the feelings I have for you, I am in most need of your friendship at this moment.
Raoul's family has forbidden us to marry. His father has sequestered all his lands and holdings, as well as stripped him of his title.
I am unwilling to allow Raoul to ruin his life for me. We mutually agreed to end our relationship as friends. We have been apart for years until recently, and we find that our interests and goals are differing, so much so that we cannot believe that a union between us would work.
I have lost both of the men who hold my heart.
The main reason for this letter is to ask you if I may be allowed to come to Scotland and visit you; I sorely need your comforting voice, soothing eyes and dashing smile.
I will be awaiting your reply
Hoping to see you soon,
Christine
Erik's heart broke for the couple who had been so in love; a love that had allowed him to release her to him…now it was all for naught. He would telegram her and inform her that she was more than welcome in his home. He would have to deal with whatever feelings he still had for her, when the time came.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Alastair was certain that he and Erik could overcome this setback. Erik may not be happy with his solution, but it was the only one that made any sense. He looked around the room and noticed that A'awynn was not there. "Where is A'awynn? She needs to be here; she is part of this family and has been since she was a child."
Erik cringed. He was not fond of having this particular woman involved in his personal affairs; she was entirely too bewitching; he could easily get lost in those eyes and forget the pain that she would undoubtedly reign down upon his abused heart. He had to force himself to push her away from him when they were dancing, but he knew he could not continue to hold her without wanting more from her; and that was definitely out of the question.
As if hearing her queue, A'awynn glided through the doors and smiled at everyone as she entered. She took a seat next to Kaitlyn and apologized for her tardiness, "I had to put Lacey down for the night…she seems to be very excited about some up and coming piano lessons." A'awynn laid playful eyes on Erik, making him shift under her gaze.
Alastair smiled briefly and cleared his throat. "Our family, lands, titles and holdings have come under fire." Alastair glanced at Erik, who in turn lowered his head. "Lord Chisholm has enforced the 'Right to Claims' statute pertaining to Berwithshire. His claim goes back 350 years and is legitimate and enforceable." Alastair took a seat to prevent him from appearing foreboding. "This statute states that the male heir to Berwithshire will be married and have a child by the time he is 30."
Angus spoke up and stated the obvious, "But Erik is already 33. Has he lost his claim to Berwithshire?"Alastair looked at Angus with a very serious stare.
"The House of Lords has taken Erik's circumstances under consideration and have granted him 30 days from his arrival to take a bride…that only leaves two weeks. The other stipulation is the matter of a child;" Alastair went over to Erik whose head was bowed and his eyes closed. He had removed his mask for the sake of the family, the preferred him that way. His strong fingers on his right hand massaged his forehead roughly, trying to extricate the monstrous headache that had formed. Alastair placed his hand on Erik's shoulder and felt the younger man tense under his touch. "Erik will have six months from the date of his marriage to get his wife with child."
"There are no secrets in this family; we know Erik's history, his lack of experience with women, and his reluctance to give his heart to anyone…ever again." Alastair moved away from Erik and addressed his other family members. "I am of the opinion that Erik must choose a wife from among the eligible, qualified women in the area…Erik, it is your time to speak." Alastair sat down and gave the floor to Erik.
Erik just sat for a few minutes before standing and turning dejectedly to this family that had come to mean so much to him. He did not make eye contact with A'awynn, although he was very much aware of her presence; he was certain she was laughing at his misfortune. "It is not my desire to bind any woman to me…ever. I have nothing to offer a woman that would, in any way, make life with me tolerable…I can think of other ways to ensure that Berwithshire stays in the hands of the Lauchlan family."
Alastair interjected, "Erik, stop degrading yourself, I thought you had moved past that horrible habit…you have a great deal to offer besides your title and wealth."
Erik glowered at Alastair, "Like what; my sunny disposition, handsome face, and quick wit?" Erik was feeling the dark, dank, dread coming over him again, it's familiar tentacles were pulling him under its strong grasp; the intense happiness of the last two weeks seemed as a distant memory or an illusive dream. "No woman deserves to have to endure my presence, let alone my touch, just because I was unfortunate enough to have undergone alterations when I was a young boy and was not able to fulfill my duties as the next Duke of Berwithshire."
Erik looked each family member in the eye, knowing they were already regretting his return to the family, "I have the skill, intelligence , and means to fake my own death; or cause it, whichever way works best…I could simply disappear and this family could return to normal, like it was before I got here."
Brianna made her way to the front of the room and stood directly in front of Erik. Tears were the voice of the pain she was feeling; her words were brusque and frosted with irritation, "How can you stand there and think that this family will desert you in this hour? Have we not proven our love for you time and time again?" Brianna grasped the front of Erik's shirt, disciplining him as though her were a boy again. "We searched and searched for you for years…now that we have you back, we are not about to let you sink into familiar dark pools of depression without being there to pull you out." Erik looked at his mother's earnest eyes and wanted so badly to believe that he belonged here.
Brianna pulled him down on the divan next to her, "Erik, we know that it will not be an easy adjustment for you. Thirty years of being made to feel less than human will take weeks, maybe months, for you to overcome…you are going to have times when you resort back to your old ways, they are familiar and comfortable to you." Her gentle, matronly hand cupped his unblemished cheek, "We are all sorry that this issue has come up and you must, once again, tread unfamiliar waters…but trust me, my son, we will be here beside you through it all."
Erik knew that what she said made sense. He lifted distant eyes to Brianna as she continued, "Let us choose your bride Erik…if you feel that you cannot handle this, we can." Erik nodded his agreement, "We will choose wisely my son, your feelings and desires will be the top priority…"
Erik interrupted his mother, "No, her feelings and desires should be first and foremost. She will be the one getting the raw end of this deal."
OOOOOOOOOOOO
A'awynn watched with a faint heart as Erik's future fell apart in front of him. She had never seen such a look of shear horror and defeat on anyone's face before. He truly believed that no woman would ever want to make a life with him; a life of love and laughter. This realization brought a lump to A'awynn's throat and tears to her eyes.
A'awynn knew of Erik's love for Lucy and Christine and how they had ended; she knew that he had been tortured, both physically and mentally for several years at the hand of a sadistic Gypsy master and had probably suffered many other things on top of that. She had heard his family talking about his life and how strong his character must be for him to have survived all that he had endured.
Even in his embarrassment and agony, his first thoughts were for the woman that would become his wife and the mother of his children. He did not want to condemn her to a life with, what he referred to as, "a mean spirited, grossly ugly, living corpse" as her husband. He would satisfy the needed amount of time required to assure that Berwithshire stayed in the hands of the Lauchlan family, he would secure his wife and child with enough wealth to sustain them through life comfortably, and then…he would do what needed to be done. When he said the latter, A'awynn was certain the "what needed to be done", referred to his death.
Alastair's voice cracked the silence that had fallen over the room"She will need to be of noble birth…preferably wealthy in her own right and titled…a more mature woman in her twenties, not a young, naive girl with no idea of how to be a wife and mother…" Alastair looked down at Erik, "What are some qualities you would require?"
Erik allowed a bit of humor to enter his eyes and a sad smile to grace his enticing mouth, "Breathing would be nice, other than that…I'm hardly one to be choosy."
Alastair snorted with a forced smile and shook his head, "Erik, you're not helping the situation any. Do have any ideas?"
Erik's agitation was quite prevalent in every syllable of every word, "I do believe it is getting very late and all of us are exhausted. My present suggestion is that we get a good nights rest, at least most of us, and discuss this more in depth tomorrow after chapel service." (And after my ire has subsided) Alastair seemed to agree with a nod of his head and everyone voiced to the affirmative.
Erik strode determinately out the door toward his residence, his mood was abominable and he was not sure if he would be able to get any rest at all. Having his personal business advertised to his entire family and Lady A'awynn had him seething. His life had been turned upside down in a matter of moments and Erik was not keen on the direction it was taking.
A'awynn ran to catch up with him, not fully certain of what to say to him. He had become rather dark and aloof over the last few hours and she feared he was not thinking as he should be. Erik felt the very unsettling feeling of having her stare at him, and stopped in mid-stride, intolerantly turning to face her. This particular woman had the ability to make him feel very despondent, and he knew he needed to stay away from her for his sanity to remain intact.
"Is there something I can perhaps do for you Lady A'awynn? If not, I have no use for your pity and mocking eyes." His tone was dripping with resentment and his eyes were cold. Where had the gentle, shockingly innocent man gone that had made her daughter feel like a princess when he offered to teach her to play the piano? Where had the tender, seductive man gone who held her in his arms while dancing with such grace?
In his place was a much more roguish, sardonic man, whose raging eyes held dark secrets and hidden mysteries of a life she knew nothing about. A'awynn was both attracted to him and appalled by the tone he had used with her. The contact her hand made with his cheek, left whelps on his smooth skin and a resounding smack in the air.
The slap jerked Erik's head to the right. He closed his eyes in disgust and fire burned in his cheek; his fists were clenching spasmodically at his sides and he worked to calm his fury. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he seemed to have lost his good sense. Her caustic words echoed in his ears"I am not the enemy here Erik; don't treat me like I am some chronically brainless bimbo who has no idea of what you have been through." A'awynn stood with her hands on her hips; exasperated and livid, ready to take anything Erik threw her way.
A'awynn took deep breaths, trying to calm her frayed nerves. She watched as tears glistened in Erik's wounded eyes. It was at this time she remembered that he had never been touched lovingly by a woman other than his mother. All he knew of touch; was pain. Christine had used his love for her by betraying him with a kiss and touch, but he knew she did not harbor any true love for him and Lucy had been so devastated at the sight of him, that she had lost her life.
A'awynn covered her mouth with her hand and tears rolled down her flushed face. She reached for him with her other hand, wanting to assure him that she had not meant to hurt him, especially in such a manner. As her hand reached for his arm, he recoiled away from her as if she had burned him. He swept forcefully by her without a glance and headed for his corner of Berwithshire to lick his wounds.
Chapter 31 Preview – Apologies