A Place in This World

THANK YOU MY LOVLIES FOR THE WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE…YES, THE LAST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS WERE MEANT TO RUFFLE YOUR FEATHERS, SO TO SPEAK, I HOPE TO MAKE UP FOR IT IN THE NEXT FEW…LOVE YA'LL…

I will continue to post the following warning from here on out, it may be modified on the chapters that it pertains to.

There will be a few chapters coming up much later, that I would categorize as "M" on the rating chart. I will warn you as they are approaching. I did not think I could write these scenes, but I find that they flow quite easily. I am giving you fair warning. No one under 16 years of age should read them.

"Funny, we're speaking the same language, but you don't understand anything I'm saying." Gerard Butler as Andre Marek in "Timeline"

CHAPTER 31

Erik was fuming, but not because of A'awynn's firm slap; his behavior was deserving of that slap…and more. What had come over him? She had done nothing to deserve his sharp tone and distant attitude. He knew he would have to take the humble route and apologize in the morning, a gesture that Erik seldom offered.

He readied himself for bed, but first he decided to take a bath, a luxury he had begun to look forward to on a regular basis. What was he going to do about this latest development? He had no desire to enter into a marriage of convenience; but he saw no other alternative that would resolve the situation and keep peace in his family. Erik slipped gracefully down into the warm, sudsy water. The beautiful tub was long enough to accommodate his tall frame and deep enough to wade in.

He closed his eyes and tried with all his genius to come up with some other way. He knew his family would not go for the disappearing act, although Erik was very certain they would be better off without him. The problem was astronomical. No woman in her right mind would commit to him unless she was desperate for the money and prestige that came along with him, but his father insisted that she be titled and wealthy…why on earth would she need him in any way if she did not need his money or title?

The water had a relaxing affect on Erik's weary nerves and he began to drift in and out of consciousness. His mind mulled over the many faces of the woman he had danced with this night. They were all lovely; of course; compared to him, a troll would be lovely. Some were extremely young, an attribute Erik had decided to stay clear of, since Christine. Some were of questionable parentage, making Brianna and Alastair immediately concerned; and others were spoiled and spiteful.

And then, there was Lady A'awynn. Erik had not thought she could get any more beautiful, but her fury had set a fire in those dancing, turquoise eyes and her willingness to stand up to him showed a strength that Erik found very intriguing. She was definitely out of the question…he new that a marriage to her, of any sort, would be too dangerous! She aroused feelings and thoughts in him that he found very difficult to ignore; and seeing her every day, and not being able to have her would drive him completely insane. Besides, he doubted she would ever talk to him again.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn wrapped her arms around her knees as she sat in the middle of her bed and wept until tears would not come anymore. She had changed into her frilly sleeping gown and had slipped her equally frilly nightdress over the top of it. Her heart ached for Erik, knowing that she had added insult to injury where his experience with women was concerned.

A'awynn had a volatile temper when she was provoked, and Erik treating her as if she was a simpleton had just about pulled her last nerve; but she had never meant to hurt him. She knew it wasn't that her slap had particularly hurt him, he was a strong man; but his already jaded opinion of women had not needed another jolt in the "women-will-never-find-me-to-be-anything-but-a-monster" category.

That was it; she was going to Erik's room and apologizing. This time, she would make him listen. She slid her long, slender feet into her slippers and quietly headed down the hall toward his wing. It really was a beautiful part of Berwithshire, and Erik kept it spotless.

His entrance door was not locked, as was no ones, and A'awynn walked into his masculine quarters. Everything in the rooms embodied the man who had taken up residence. He had immediately done some remodeling, making the west wing more to his tastes. His scent was everywhere; spices and leather, exotic plant extracts and musk. She enjoyed his essence and he wasn't even near her.

A'awynn saw no sign of the man himself. Her stomach was turning knots; from nerves or excitement, she could not say. She knew that her attraction to him was spontaneous and obviously explosive. She had seen a difference side of him tonight; a side that Kaitlyn had not known about, but one that was entirely expected. He had been through hell in his life; and she had slapped him for showing a glimpse of the mark that that hell had left on him. She should be ashamed of herself. Her Irish temper worked overtime on occasion, and it had been the source of many arguments between her and the men in her life.

She was her mother's daughter. She and Fionola Shaunessy were carbon copies of each other; looks, personality, characteristics, moral standings…everything. They had clashed on everything, because neither wanted to submit to the other. Stubborn as a mule, bull-headed, head-strong, strong-willed…all of these things had been descriptions her father had used when talking about the love his life, Fionola; and the apple of his eye, A'awynn.

When they had both died in a freak accident at sea, A'awynn had been devastated. She was 14 and had no one. She went to stay with the dear friends of her parents and two people who were like her aunt and uncle, Lord and Lady Lauchlan. Her Uncle Uriel had tried to step in and manage her affairs, but A'awynn had been raised to think for herself and be her own woman, in every aspect of life.

The estate her family had was vast, but her father had failed to think ahead pertaining to its care. A'awynn had lost it and the substantial holdings that came with it to the English Monarchy. They claimed her father owed immense debt and taxes that he had failed to take care of before his untimely demise.

At 19, she was given in marriage to Lord James Yancey, a man over forty years her senior; her Uncle Uriel had thought it a smart match. Despite their non-existent sex life, A'awynn had been a good wife and James had doted on her. His untimely, though expected, death four years later had left her a titled, wealthy woman with the means to pursue anything and anyone she wanted. She no longer had to live under the restraining eyes of society or abide by every ridiculous rule that was laid out…she was her own woman.

A'awynn once again debated over her immediate and intense attraction to Erik. He was his mother's son. Brianna and Fionola had been the best of friends; inseparable for the greater part of their young adult lives. Perhaps it was destiny, or the voice of her mother in her head; but A'awynn knew at that moment what she had to do. She searched the outer rooms for Erik's tall, well-shaped, manly figure, but she did not find it. She tiptoed over to the bedroom and peered inside. There was no one visible, but she found his discarded clothes on the bed, folded neatly. She picked up his shirt and put it to her face, taking in his masculine smell; a smell that was all Erik. She rubbed the fine material against her cheek and a sweet sensation filtered through her body.

She heard the slightest, muffled sound coming from the washroom. A'awynn quietly approached the slightly cracked door and peered into the dimly lit room. Erik's slumbering figure was draped in the bathtub. The suds were fading with the passing of time, but the room was pleasantly warm, so the water must still be fairly comfortable.

His light snore was really just a quiet, throaty sound that was quite endearing. As if of their own accord, her legs carried her closer to the sleeping beauty that was Erik. She had not noticed just how low the suds had gone until she reached the edge of the tub. Her eyes were glued to the sublime sight before her.

Had she ever seen such a masterfully carved chest before? She did not think so. The dark hairs were teasing her as she watched them creep down his magnificent chest toward his tight, shapely abdominal muscles. Her roving eyes rested on the line of suds that formed a barrier between her admiring examination of his chest and abdomen and the hidden secrets beneath the suds. Oh yes, she could do with seeing this man every moment of every day for the rest of her life.

His hair was wet but charmingly unruly. It waved in every direction and framed his gorgeous face. He did not have one gray hair and the water just succeeded in making it a deeper shade of black. Everything about his man screamed sex appeal; and he had no idea of the powerful attraction she felt for him.

She noticed a chair sitting in the corner of the large washroom, so she picked it up and moved it closer to the tub. If he was going to sleep in the bathtub, then she was just going to have to wait for him to wake up so she could apologize to him. She had a feeling that the vulnerable state he was in would make him more apt to accept her apology. She sat down next to the tub; again giving an admiring sweep of his body and waited.

OOOOOOOOO

Erik had no idea how long he had been asleep in the tub, he only knew that the water was getting cold and he had been granted some of the best sleep he had ever had. He pulled his hazy eyes open, rubbing them for effect and braced his hands on the side of the tub, poised to rise up out of the water.

It was about this time, that he caught a movement out of the side of his eye and heard a very feminine voice give a quiet word of warning, "If you do not wish to grant me a private showing, which I am not entirely opposed to, you may want to stay put." Erik's surprised, confused eyes centered on A'awynn's puckish grin as he settled back into the tepid water. Her grin turned slightly downward, leaving Erik with the impression that she was disappointed about something.

He contemplated what his words should be, for the last encounter he'd had with this fascinating woman had resulted in a slap across his face. He did not wish to offend or insult her anymore, but he could not for the life of him figure out why she was perched on a chair in the middle of his washroom, eyeing him like he was a morsel of tasty food just ready for her to devour.

"Would you be so kind as to hand me a towel, and then avert your eyes so that I can avoid turning into a shriveled up prune?" His tone was steady, but a hint of irritation was still present. He was not going to play games with this tempting woman; she was far too dangerous to his frame of mind for that. Her ploy on his money and title earlier had put a sour taste in his mouth, but he could not help the pull she had on him.

He knew nothing about her really, he had overheard a few hushed conversations throughout the evening, but nothing confirming or revealing. She was a widow; that much he knew. She had the most darling daughter, apparently not a product of her marriage, as the women he had overheard made a point of making clear. Erik found that fact intriguing; so what, that was of not consequence. She was a grown woman and could do what she wished. Why did everyone always have to judge? They draw conclusions and make decisions based solely on their sick desire to be privy to everyone's private lives.

Hopefully, little Lacey was the product of a great love. He preferred to think that children were conceived out of a love that surpassed understanding; a love that was unselfish and patient. The kind of love his parents have. The kind of love he had always dreamed of having, but now knew it would never be. He must choose a bride based entirely on one dance and a few short moments of conversation. If love were to have ever been his for the taking, he knew that he would have had to nurture and condition it for months, maybe years before a woman would be willing to allow him to even think about courting her, let alone marry her.

A'awynn cocked her head to the left and debated whether she should yield to his request. He sure did look delightful in that tub, especially since the subs were just about to reveal every toned inch of him. However, respectability and modesty won out and she turned and retrieved a towel from the shelf and laid it on the chair; she scooted the chair closer to him and turned around.

Erik took this to be her attempt at "averting" her eyes, so in one fluid, graceful, quick movement, he pulled himself up out of the tub; ran the towel through his hair, rubbed down his body and wrapped the towel around his waist, making sure it was secure before he told her she could turn around.

He stood there like Adonis himself and skeptically stared at her with his muscular arms crossed. "I don't mean to sound…perturbed or anything; but, why are you in my washroom?" Erik lifted his chin slightly, not wanting to appear angry. "I got the impression from our last encounter that you were not particularly tolerant of me…which does not surprise me…but your presence her completely baffles me."

A'awynn dropped her eyes to the floor to avoid devouring him with her hungry eyes. She spoke very quietly, "I came to apologize for my unnecessary behavior earlier; I let my temper get the best of me…again."

Erik was puzzled, why would she apologize to him? He deserved every act of pain and humiliation that was on him; hers was no different.

"Would you excuse me for a moment? I need to put some clothes on and we can talk…you have nothing to apologize for," he assured her. He escorted her into the main living room and seated her in front of the large, ornate fireplace. He gave a slight bow and exited into his bedchamber.

A'awynn had a wonderful viewpoint, as his very shapely backside disappeared into his room. (How can he look at that body every day and not see how downright gorgeous he is?) He was so…male. He had muscular arms, not too muscular…but perfect. He had tight pectoral muscles that flexed when he moved and washboard abdominal muscles; making his chest look like a master artisan had carved it out of granite. It was perfectly covered with fine black hairs that made her want to rest her head on them. His legs were long and masculine; hair covered them, but not grossly; and the power they possessed was evident in every step he took. A'awynn was suddenly very warm.

He was still titillated over her presence as he donned his green silk sleeping pants and his matching silk, floor-length robe. He tied the robe loosely, not wanting to offend her with his half-dressed body. He slipped his long, slender feet into his slippers and left the room.

As he came back into view, A'awynn could not take her eyes off him. She had thought he could not look any better than he did in the beautifully tailored suit that he wore earlier; but she was wrong. The man was pure sensuality in every move he made. The silk pants and robe adorned his tall, slender form and made him look like a sexual master about to give his tutelage to a very willing, very ready partner.

Erik was entirely unaware of her thoughts as he sat down beside her on the divan and crossed his long legs. "As I was saying, you have nothing to apologize for." Erik did not make eye contact, "I am a pompous fool most of the time and deserve everything I get."

Erik was silent for just a moment, and finally looked at her, "It is I who should be begging for your forgiveness…tonight's events did not bode well with me and I tend to resort back..."Erik turned shamed eyes from her, "Old habits die hard…please forgive me…I would never intentionally hurt a woman or child."

Erik smiled faintly, hoping that she understood his outburst. A'awynn reached over and tentatively took his hand in hers. His back went rigid and his hand habitually started to jerk away; he steadied the panic in his chest and forcefully kept his hand in place.

A'awynn noticed the battle going on and absently rubbed her thumb over the dark hairs on his knuckles. "Erik, let me help you. I know that we do not know each other very well, but I have known of you for almost my entire life; I feel as if I can be your answer..." Erik's perplexing eyes and creased brow told her that he had no idea what she was talking about. "I offer my hand to you in marriage."

There, she had said it. It was out in the open and he had to make the next move. She held his eyes in a steady gaze, hoping to read some sort of reaction in their deep, green pools.

A rush of excitement raced through Erik's body, he willed it to stop. "Coming as the lamb to the slaughter, so to speak…"Erik's voice was barely above a whisper; he was talking more to himself than to her. His incredulous eyes studied her, noticing that she did not regard him with pity, only concern.

In all the possible scenarios that Erik had imagined, he had not seen this coming. "Are you in dire straights; such that marriage to me would financially help you and your family?" Erik had not meant for that to come out as sharply as it had. He was not good at making small talk, especially with women.

A'awynn should have been insulted by his question; instead, she knew that he was not familiar with her status; he only knew the basics about her. "My family is all dead, except for distant cousins and my Uncle Uriel. I am a wealthy woman in my own right, my late husband saw to that. I am titled, 29 years old and come from the best Irish-born stock that there is."

Erik questioned again, "Then why?" Erik shrugged his shoulders and pleaded with her, "I have nothing to offer a woman like you." Erik once again bowed his head, as if accepting defeat. "This would be a marriage in name only, of that you can be assured. I do not intend to subject a woman to my loathsome touch and she will not have to tolerate my presence for an extended period of time." Erik stared intently at her, hoping she would see the absurdity of it, "I do not see a woman of your considerable beauty and means wanting anything to do with a beast like me."

A'awynn inwardly cringed at his use of adjectives concerning himself; she chose to ignore it for now, she would soon convince him that was no beast, or demon, or gargoyle, or living corpse…or any other horrific name he construed for himself. "It is the perfect solution Erik, why fight it?"

A'awynn's pragmatic approach to the situation had Erik befuddled. Women wanted marriages based on love and romance; she would be asking for none of that from him. Why would a woman who had everything going for her, bind herself to a living corpse?

Could he marry this woman and keep his heart out of it? She would, no doubt, have no trouble keeping her heart out of it, but him? He had thought he was attracted to Christine, but the power she had over him paled in comparison to the power this auburn-haired vixen exhibited over him. He melted every time her eyes meant his. He was not sure this was such a good idea.

"Why don't you get some rest, you are obviously quite tired. Maybe you will be thinking more clearly in the morning." Erik stood and walked to the door, opening it wide. A'awynn, not wanting to appear desperate, stood and walked to the door. "I am sure we can come up with another solution that will prevent you from giving yourself to a monster." He bowed slightly, carefully pushed her reluctant form through the door and closed it, not even giving her a chance to respond.

Chapter 32 Preview – Acceptance and announcements