JuliTina, thanks sincerely, for reading it all again once through. I very much appreciate that you recognised the distinction between the two "worlds". Soon these worlds must take firmer physical shape. Expect the descriptive style to change and chapters to get longer like fangs sinking in. Erm, ok I'm just being dramatic for the last bit. Thanks again!
Sleepy Sheep Guardian, Port? (Grin) That's a new one. As per usual I take things relatively slow so emotions and thoughts can be fully formed. Tala and Rei, their situation must last a little longer and become more complex. Kenny, it is good to keep an eye on him that's all I'm saying. I did actually wanted you guys to comment on the significant roles each characters play but if it was too troublesome I didn't want to impose so I left it up to you guys. Bryan's situation will be a central issue that has yet to be fully developed in the fic itself but it is mine. Wait and see eh? Yes Tala did like the challenge as it indicated that the other party had put a substantial amount of thought and understanding into the review. I actually have always enjoyed every last bit of your reviews. Thank you. Don't hesitate to be lengthy. Oh and about Max, well Max tends to be playful when need be but he can be serious too.
Life Sucks, Get Used To It, Thank you for the review. Life story? Woah, this fic is pretty dark, I hope your life isn't all that bad. I do indeed have an account on fictionpress, why?
Obscurus Imber, Not exactly. More of a love polygon if you get my meaning. However, there is a reason and logic behind it. The journey should be interesting. At least it is to me, from what I have yet to write. Thanks for the reviews and Tala well, we'll see in time what happens to him eh?
Kittylulu, thank you for reviewing so faithfully. I'm afraid you flatter me excessively. I'm really behind in skill compared to some. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Redex, well, beloved, what do I say to you now except that I love you and I accept your concern. I will have you to stand by me should I need support, yes? Max and Takao eh? I really didn't realise it was more serious and analytical seriously. Ah well, love you and thanks.
The Game
Previously on Messages:
So how do you say goodbye to a good friend, to someone who knew very well your innermost thoughts and now to someone who could love you in a way you yourself never could?
You couldn't. You just couldn't.
In the light of the monitor, Tala squinted as his fingers raced across the keyboard.
"Dear SnowTiger,
I must tell you something and I hope it does not trouble you. My name is Tala Valkov . . ."
". . . You may have heard of me if you followed the sports news closely six months ago. I was a member of Biovolt's Demolition Boys. Perhaps I advance too quickly. Allow me to give you my ASL. I'm 14, male and Russian. Most who know me call me Tala and I would be honoured if you would address me so.
Why have I begun a message with this revelation? Well simply put, I felt a need to break down all illusions, remove all masks. I think I have reached a stage with you where masks are not only unnecessary but also insulting. A second reason would be, that this is a gesture of my sincerity, for you are very important to me and you should know it. I trust and care and crave for what we have between us and I hope this gesture will in some way strengthen that bond.
I . . . I cannot say if this bond is love; I know not what love is. What I do know is that I need you and that I want your correspondence and that I look forward to it even though I dwell in darkness, especially so. I can only assume that something that feels so beautiful, so painfully desirable can only be love. As far as I know at any rate.
I'm sorry. If I say I love you, the words would seem too . . . funny. It would seem patronising and stupid even.
I care greatly for you and I need you to be with me in every way you can, because my life seems better with your words, unbelievably better. I want this feeling to remain, for it to grow.
Would you believe, minutes before reading your message I was chained to a table and locked in a room in complete darkness? Yes, chained. You needn't know all the details because I don't wish to implicate you. All I need is for you to continue to communicate with me and it will all be better. No one can help me extricate myself from this present mess but I want you to know that you shine what little light that can cross over to my world. Perhaps I'm being a little melodramatic as you are wont to remind me but . . . this is how I feel and also how I can best describe it.
Am I being too forthright? Am I moving too fast? I don't know. I'm just doing what I feel I should be doing. I will not lie to you and tell you I didn't receive your message till just now because my computer broke down or offer some other excuse. As I said, I will not insult my trust by deceiving you.
I'm not in the best of situations. I may have to do things that I may not wish to do; illegal things.
I'm not sure why I tell you this. You cannot change my current situation but I do feel better now that I've told you. Like a heaviness has been lifted somewhat. At the same time, I don't want you to shoulder any part of my burdens. Remain happy because if you lose your smile, I'd be . . . lost. It shows in your words, your feelings.
Even though I'm in this situation, I want to hold you close, even if it's only through words. Selfish perhaps but the truth nevertheless.
Don't run away. Please.
Yours,
Tala."
Blue eyes searched the screen and Tala chewed on his nether lip as he reassured himself that he was not making a mistake.
A mistake.
His chest rose as he drew in a deep breath and sank heavily as he released it in a long sigh. Propping his elbow on the mahogany table, he rested his chin on his curved fingers, lids closed part- way in contemplation.
'I'm not expecting SnowTiger to do anything for me. He doesn't have enough information to act upon anyway. There's no way he'd get into any trouble.'
Tala glanced once again to his message, his eyes narrowing as he concentrated on a particular paragraph.
Even though I'm in this situation, I want to hold you close, even if it's only through words. Selfish perhaps but the truth nevertheless.
Tala clenched his fist letting his fingers grow white with the tension and then released them, letting the blood rush back. He stared blankly at the glowing screen, his sight turned inwards towards the inner tumult. When he spoke, his dry voice quivered in the shadows.
"I only want to love. I won't hurt SnowTiger. I won't get SnowTiger involved."
His voice died in silence and the hum of the CPU was all that broke the lifeless quiet in the room. He hesitated. The seconds ticked away. He held his breath and released it moments later in a tormented hiss. Still the seconds ticked away. Sighing, Tala closed his eyes and let his fingers hover over the mouse.
Yes? No? Later?
Don't you trust SnowTiger?
It's not about trust.
SnowTiger deserves a reply.
But if I reply SnowTiger'll be drawn closer to me.
So say goodbye.
I can't!
Then tell the truth, just don't torture SnowTiger with silence.
I can't send this.
You wanted to, or you wouldn't have written it.
I . . .
Send it.
Send it.
You can't be without SnowTiger . . .
"Yes . . . I can't . . . I need SnowTiger."
Tender lids opened. The truth seemed so simple now. Distant blue eyes focused on the pale form of the mouse and his fingers gently lowered themselves. They embraced the mouse.
He paused, breathing deeply once more.
Then with a click he sent the message hurtling through cyber space, an electronic messenger pigeon that winged itself with great purpose to reach the eyes of a special person.
"SnowTiger . . ."
"Max . . . " Tyson breathed in a fair ear through tousled golden hair.
"Mmmh?" Max purred snuggling closer to the Japanese youth's warm bare chest.
"More?" Tyson asked, leaning in to kiss the side of his lover's face.
Max grinned but squirmed lethargically in Tyson's arms.
"I'm tired . . ." he mumbled.
Tyson paused, large brown eyes blinking thoughtfully. Then he brought his lips next to the Eurasian youth's earlobe, the tip of his pink tongue stuck out. He licked.
"Ewwww! Tyson! Man!"
Tyson chuckled and strengthened his hold over a struggling Max.
"Ok, ok I'll stop." Tyson soothed chuckling softly.
Max stopped and turned to glare at the grinning hazel- eyed youth, cerulean eyes in mock fury.
"You licked me!"
"Uhuh." Tyson replied grinning broadly, brushing his lover's fair hair away from frowning and yet beautiful cerulean eyes.
"What do you mean, 'uhuh'?" Max demanded playfully elbowing Tyson's ribs.
Tyson winced and pretended to double over, dark- blue hair sweeping over Max's naked chest. He rested his head on Max's stomach. Blue eyes widened in alarm.
"No Tyson don'- Ah!" Max gasped his body arching.
Tyson smirked from his comfortable position and continued to suck on Max's sensitive flesh. Max bucked and writhed beneath his ministrations.
"I give- ah! Tyson!"
Tyson released his hold and snaked his body against his lover's all the way up to Max's weakly scowling face and brushed a light kiss against those pouting lips.
"Love you." He whispered.
Cerulean eyes gazed frostily at the Tyson's crooked grin and softened.
"Idiot." He murmured before giving a chaste peck on his lover's chin.
The sound of steps bounding on the staircase alerted the pair to their surroundings. They were comfortably positioned on the couch in the hall in definite states of undress, their clothes decorating random furniture. Anyone who entered the doorway couldn't possibly fail to notice their rather compromising position. Tyson tried to shield what he could of Max's body with his own.
"Tyson that's sweet but could you fetch me my clothes?" Max hissed urgently.
"No time." Tyson whispered back.
The steps drew closer and Tyson buried them deeper into the couch.
"Lie low." He hissed burying his face against Max's shoulder.
The steps were right beside the hall's doorway . . . two steps away . . . one . . .
Tyson huddled closer while Max strained to breathe under the weight.
"Training's cancelled!"
Kai's voice boomed as the steps continued to make their way down and the lovers heard the front door being thrust open and then swiftly slammed shut again.
Tyson slowly raised himself on his elbows and looked over to his lover, trading a look of relief and bafflement.
Rei stood silently over the still form of Drigger languishing in the glaring gleam of the blade dish. A faint breeze stirred the edges of his robe but the rest remained plastered to his skin, soaked in sweat. His dark fringe cloaked his downcast gaze, glints of gold shining through a black curtain. His mouth was set firm, his lips dry and cracked. He was feeling slightly dehydrated, he hadn't had anything to drink since yesterday and the noon sun blazed with an energy that Rei could not emulate. For all his stoic posture, Rei was drained both physically and emotionally. He stood over Drigger like a silent sentinel, having lost the energy to continue training yet unwilling to surrender his position. Where would he go? Back into the house? He had nothing to do there. He couldn't write poetry because it reminded him of someone who had forgotten him and he couldn't go online because he always seemed to be checking for new mail that didn't come.
He was screwed up.
So he did what he did best, beyblading, the only thing he could think of that had nothing to do with and wouldn't remind him of WhiteWolf.
That was another thing that bothered him. He never got a chance to talk about beyblading to his friend. He had wanted to preserve their relationship and had been afraid that that fact would have changed things. Not that it would matter now of course. WhiteWolf . . . goodness knows where he is right now . . . what he's doing . . .
Rei shook his head violently, dark hair dancing wildly in the burning sunlight.
WhiteWolf's gone. He had to deal with that. It was brief, it was beautiful and it was also over. He had only to forget. Lowering his head Rei bit his lip and tried to will away the sudden surge of emotion that flooded him. He gasped and felt his strength drain, his limbs steadily lost the will to support him. Yet he stood tall. He had to. Because if he fell now he'd never get up. That much he knew.
But the urge to fall was great . . . to collapse and let the emotions out . . . to give in . . . because it hurt . . . he could deny it to himself but it was there . . . and it crushed him.
Wrenching the fabric of his robe, the veins in his hand a bunched green and his teeth grinding painfully, Rei sank to one knee. He swallowed heavily and willed himself not to cry though his lashes were already moist.
"Stand up!"
Golden eyes gleaming with unshed pain turned to a darkly- clad figure gazing at him with blazing red eyes.
"Kai." Rei murmured weakly.
Angry red eyes flashing, Kai walked briskly towards Rei's defeated form, his breaths deep and furious. Rei flinched as Kai hoisted him up to his feet in one fluid motion.
"Just what do you think you're doing?" Kai demanded hotly, shaking the limp form in his grasp.
Rei watched his team captain through glazed eyes, and the fire in Kai's eyes faltered.
"Are you giving up? Just like that?"
Golden eyes focused briefly.
"What would you have me do?" he whispered letting his gaze fall to the grass.
Kai searched the Chinese youth's pale face looking for that quiet strength, that hidden steel. All his eyes met was defeat, utter defeat.
In a sudden movement, Kai drew his tensed arms about Rei's weak form and held the youth firmly in his arms.
Golden eyes widened in shock.
A callused hand ran through hair that flowed like black silk about Kai's fingers.
"Don't give up. If it means so much to you, don't give up."
Rei raised golden eyes to watch his team captain. Lids shut and cheekbones visible beneath taut muscles, the Russian breathed deeply. Through the fabric, Rei could feel the heat of Kai's skin, the heavy pounding of his heart and the slight tremors that escaped. Rei gazed in wonder, speechless in the embrace of this unexpected intensity burning close to him.
They stood there in rapture as the human warmth suffused them.
Slowly, as if he woke from a dream, Kai let his arms fall and with great uncertainty, allowed his lids to part open. Rei drew back, his arms raised reflexively before his chest crossed protectively about himself.
Kai stood frozen in indecision. Should he apologize and step back? But what should he say? And if he stepped back, would Rei be all right or would Rei plunge back into despair? Kai could not decide.
Rei gripped his arms, stripping the hues of points of skin. He darted a brief look at a bewildered Kai whose grey fringe seemed untidily drawn over crimson eyes filled with hesitation.
"Um . . ." Rei began tentatively, earning a wary glance from the Russian.
"I suppose you guessed what this is about." Rei mumbled somewhat sheepishly but was unable to withhold the feeling from his voice.
"Yes." Came the throaty reply.
Gold met crimson and glanced away.
"So w- what . . . do you think . . . of it?" Rei asked thickly.
"I think-"
Kai swallowed and hardened his tone.
"You're a fool."
Rei snapped his head up, amber gaze indignant.
"You're a fool to give up on waiting, because you don't want to give up and you know it. This person means too much to you for you to let go."
Rei stood there stunned. His face was blank and his lips tight but his eyes shone with an unusual brightness. Was it the light of tears or was it the light of realization inspired from the truth in Kai's words?
But Rei let his lids fall over this light, shutting it out from both Kai and himself. Neither tears nor realization could relieve the doubt or the pain.
"It doesn't matter how I feel. The reality is it's over. I-"
"You can't give up!"
A violent tug on his arm forced Rei to open his eyes and stare into stubborn crimson eyes. He held that gaze, his fatigue against Kai's insistence. Kai bit his lip and whipped his head away from Rei.
"Come with me." He demanded brusquely, marching away and pulling Rei along with him.
"Kai! Hey, I- Stop!"
Amassing his strength, Rei wrenched his arm free and stubbornly stood his ground. Kai turned about and rounded on the Chinese youth.
"I said come with me." He growled insistently.
"What's going on?" Rei countered, brows knitted in a frown.
Kai watched him silently. His reply was soft but firm.
"Come with me."
Rei's stubbornness faltered and his eyes softened. Not letting his gaze fall away from his team captain, he nodded almost imperceptibly in careful submission.
A trace of a smile flickered briefly on Kai's lips and he relaxed his grip, letting his arm fall back to his side.
Turning about he made his way to the house, Rei following closely behind.
Tyson finally clad in his pants but chest still bare sat disgruntled on the sofa.
"I don't get it. Why do we have to stop? Kai's gone outside already." He whined.
Max drew his t- shirt over his head and stared pointedly at Tyson.
"You don't know if he's just gone to tell Rei."
Tyson screwed his face up thinking of some reason. Max shook his head and sighed. He crossed over to the midnight- haired youth and nestled himself in the crook of Tyson's extended arm.
"Is sex all you want from me?" Max asked, flicking cerulean eyes to the Japanese youth.
Tyson widened his eyes in surprise and watched his fair- haired lover adoringly.
"Huh? No, no of course not. I want the whole package." He replied and leaned over to plant a chaste kiss on Max's forehead.
"Especially that smile." He added earning a wide grin from the Eurasian youth.
"Flatterer." Max accused.
"Seducer." Tyson retorted.
Max grinned and attempted to lock them in a kiss when the sound of the main door swinging open made him jump.
Two sets of steps sounded from the entrance and wide- eyed, the pair watched Kai and then Rei march past the hall's doorway and listened to the footsteps continuing on and pounding on the stairs. As the sound of another door opening somewhere upstairs. Tyson and Max exchanged startled looks.
Rei stepped into Max's room. He was familiar of course with the room. The time he spent waiting by the computer for a reply in this room . . . the times he eagerly wanted to forget. But Kai said not to.
He glanced at the peaceful peach- hued walls and the green sheets on the bed avoiding the mahogany desk that carried the cream coloured computer and the blank void on the monitor screen that seemed to draw the room's light into some hidden darkness. It certainly drew his mind to his own aching void.
"Why are we here?" Rei asked taking his eyes off the computer.
He had not been able to resist looking in the end.
Kai glanced briefly at the frowning Chinese youth and pursed his lips doubtfully, but his doubt melted away to an expression of resolve. He stepped further into the room and as Rei feared, headed straight for the computer. Wishing he hadn't, Rei heard the all too familiar beep as the green and orange lights on the CPU flickered.
Back facing the Chinese youth Kai lifted his gaze from the computer to the brightly- painted wall.
"Training's called off for today. Take the time to wait. Wait for WhiteWolf."
Rei stared vacantly at the back of Kai's head.
"I don't want to."
Kai remained still, pausing for a moment.
"Do you mean that?" he replied heavily.
Rei's lips twitched but his tone was as calm as he could keep it.
"Yes."
"No."
"What?"
"No." Kai repeated, in the same soft yet firm tone.
Kai turned around, slowly, his full red gaze intent upon Rei's confused one.
"I'll be waiting outside."
Then he crossed the distance between them. He paused fractionally when their shoulders brushed but firmly continued past the Chinese youth. Rei watched helplessly as Kai's gaze left him and turned to see Kai's departing form pause at the doorframe.
Rei waited expectantly but Kai stood there only to grasp the doorknob. Back turned, Kai heaved a sigh.
"You know what you must do."
There was a moment's silence and then Kai stepped out, shutting the door behind him.
Golden eyes stared indecisively at the door and flicked towards the lighted computer screen. Young shoulders fell in a shuddering sigh.
Kai leaned heavily against the door, his gaze hovering about the ceiling.
He did the right thing. He was sure of it. These days . . . man . . . thinking of all the regrets he had with Bryan and the others he . . . he kind of understood what Rei was going through. It was a hell that he felt the Chinese youth could do without.
Staggering over to the wall before him, the Russian turned to lean on it. He stared at the door wondering what Rei had chosen to do, whether he had chosen at all. Shutting his eyes he let himself slide down and fall to the floor. Slate hair fell over lowered lids and the still air of the room stirred wistfully against Kai's gentle breaths.
In the silence of the dark stone corridor a lilac- haired figure lay alone against a cold granite wall. It was impossible to see if tears were streaked down his cheeks in the shadow and from his stillness, it did not seem like he was sobbing. Perhaps it was from some other unseen source that the faint keening which rebounded along the passageway, emanated. Perhaps.
The next whisper however, clearly came from the curled up form.
"Kai . . ."
Hm . . . may not update in a while. Review if you will and as you see fit.
(Descends into the crypt.)