A Place in This World
Yes, he has once again gotten her ire up, but A'awynn is in control. Thank you for the comments, bear with me over the next week or so, until my life regains some normalcy.
There will be a few chapters coming up that I would categorize as MATURE in content. NO ONE UNDER 16 SHOULD READ THEM UNLESS THEY HAVE PARENTAL PERMISSION
"A toad madam? Perhaps it is you who are the toad," Gerry Butler as Erik in Phantom of the Opera.
CHAPTER 33
A'awynn stubbornly stared down at Erik as he sat there, making himself out to be the least desirable man on earth. She was shooting arrows at him with her eyes; that Irish temper flaring up again; she didn't know whether to throttle him or kiss him. She braced herself for an all out battle of the wills; a battle she fully intended to win.
She tried to keep the fire out of her voice, but the words came out with fury. "How dare you!" She stood her ground tenaciously, "How dare you just assume that the 'terms' you so eloquently stated are acceptable to me!"
The look on Erik's face was one of dejection and shock. He hung his head, unsure of what he could do to remedy the situation.
Alastair and Brianna gave each other tortured looks and decided there was no time like the present to make their exit. Erik lifted pained, pleading eyes to them as they left. Brianna smiled at him with comforting eyes that held hidden understanding; Erik had never felt so completely abandoned.
A'awynn was thankful that they had left, this allowed her to have Erik's complete and total attention. When she looked back at him, his eyes were stricken and defeated. Unaware that he had completely misread her anger, she watched as lonely tears formed in the corners of his stormy eyes and crept down his face.
His voice was distant and whispered, "A'awynn…I have nothing more I can give you for your unselfish sacrifice. I will never be able to repay you for giving my family back their heritage…all I offer is my unending gratitude…" His words struck her like a blunt object, "…please believe me when I say that you will not have to be bound to me for long…just until this issue is settled and my family is safe."
He dropped his weary eyes and looked out the window, dismissing the issue. Erik's heart was broken as he once again clarified his intent to take his life.
A'awynn could not move as she realized he had mistaken her anger. He actually thought she was expecting more from him; more than his precious life. He took her anger to mean she was appalled at his pittance of an offer for her sacrifice.
The same heartbreak that had gripped him after Christine had left him. He spoke through the lump in his throat, "I will name Lacey as my heir…and all that was mine, will be yours…I can think of nothing else that I have that I could give you."
The words he spoke cut through A'awynn's heart like a sword; tears rolled down her face. He believed with all his heart that she was going into this marriage with no attachment to him at all; he believed she did not care if he ended his life.
Erik leaned forward and dropped his head, massaging his temples as a massive headache threatened to consume him. The emotional roller coaster he had been on over the past couple of days was taking its toll on his frame of mind. The sooner this was all over with, the better.
A'awynn turned her tearstained face to the window and stood there with shaking shoulders as pain wracked her slender frame. She finally spoke with a strained voice as she turned beseeching eyes to him"Erik, if there ever was a time for you to listen to me, now is that time."
She came to him and knelt down in front of him. She grasped his musicians hand in hers before he could pull it away and brought it to her cheek; rubbing its masculine beauty against her smooth skin.
He sat incredulously still, completely riveted. She was willingly touching him. Why would she do that? He could not help the pure joy that shot through his body at the feel of flesh against flesh. She had his attention that was for sure.
She continued to hold his hand as she spoke, "I am angry, yes…but not for the reasons you have deduce." She smiled a sad smile and caressed his perfect cheek. "I am angry at a world that has condoned its treatment of you and brainwashed you into thinking that you are less than desirable…I was angry at you for believing that what the world told you was true."
A'awynn searched his eyes for any flicker of emotion, all she saw was a questioning stare, "Do not think that I am asking any more of you…there are things that you do not understand right now Erik…but you will…things I cannot tell you because you have heard it all before; all I can do is show you." She smiled a sweet, unassuming smile. "Despite your exceptional intelligence, you have no idea how to interact with people…and women…we are the most difficult to understand." She winked at him, noticing with pleasure that he turned slightly red from her attention"I will do my best to explain my sudden outbursts, should I get riled up again."
She laughed daintily, rubbing the surface of his hand with hers, but as she looked at him, her eyes were serious and her tone direct, "I know that you have experienced physical and mental anguish at the whim of women who cared little about you or your feelings…" She saw him reach up and once again massage his temples as a flash of pain swept across his eyes. "…but I assure you, Erik; I will never hurt you intentionally…I care too much about you to do that."
Erik glared at her through the pain that shot through his head. Did she just say that she cared about him? He laughed at that, knowing that he had misheard her; but the firm hand on his chin that lifted his eyes to hers, indicated that he had indeed heard her correctly. "Don't do that Erik…don't doubt my words…" her eyes were steady and her face held no hidden agenda, "…I am not now, nor have I ever been, a liar…I will not play games with your heart."
She indicated for him to sit down, really not registering when it was that he had stood up. Erik did so, without question and continued to work the aching muscles in his head. A'awynn slipped behind him and gently gripped his head in her strong, feminine hands. Erik's back went rigid, not knowing what it was she was doing. She coaxed his head down, placing his chin in his chest and ran her thumbs up the back of his neck to condition the muscles. Her fingers lingered in the softness of his hair and she could smell the heavenly scent that was Erik emanating from its thick folds.
"Erik, you have such wonderful hair…I could spend hours just running my hands though it." Erik was not sure if he could stand that, being as just the few short moments her hands had wandered into his hair left him completely undone. She continued rubbing his neck and then massaged his entire head between her hands, working her way toward the temples that throbbed excruciatingly.
Erik had never felt this way before. He felt…normal under the ministrations of her hands. He felt like he could actually call her friend and she would not go running from him in sheer terror. "A'awynn, do you think it is possible that I could enter into this farce of a marriage actually calling you a friend?"
A'awynn stood behind him and smiled through unshed tears, "Erik, that is the least you can call me."
She felt him relax under her hands, if only slightly. His words were hushed and emotionally charged, "Thank you…if you were doing nothing else for me…that would be enough." Those words made her want to take him in her arms and show him exactly what he meant to her, but she must take this slow, or he would be immediately on guard.
Their peace and quiet was interrupted by the jubilated squeals of Lacey as she came bounding through the doors with Alastair and Brianna in her wake. She completely swept past A'awynn and jumped, unhindered, into Erik's lap. She hugged his solid frame as though she would never let him go. Although in complete shock, Erik embraced her tiny body, not understanding where this affection for him was coming from. "Mammy Brianna told me that you and mama are going to be married…I think that is the bestest news that I have ever heard!"
Erik had not counted on this; Lacey's attachment to him was an added complication to an already unsettling situation. Her next phrase sealed his doom, "Now I will have a mama AND a papa!" She squealed again and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek, "And not only will I have a papa…but he is the mostest handsomest papa of all!" She wrapped her tiny arms around Erik's neck and squeezed, letting him know that she was very pleased with the arrangements. Erik smiled at her, falling victim to her contagious elation.
He looked at A'awynn and gave a gentle curve to his lips, jesting with the child, "Our first order of business will be to get this girl a set of spectacles, she obviously cannot see very well!"
Surely he was setting himself up for a giant leap off of a short precipice. How was he going to keep from giving his true feelings away, if A'awynn and Lacey kept wrapping him around their little fingers more and more every day? When all hell broke loose, this was going to hurt worse than any of his past pains.
Lacey asked the only obvious question, "When is the wedding?" Lacey looked at Erik, Erik looked at A'awynn, A'awynn looked at Alastair, and Alastair looked at Brianna.
"Saturday at 4:00 p.m. in the gardens," was her dogged answer, "Oh, and Erik…Christine and Margarite will be here on Wednesday." Brianna lifted her eyebrow as she spoke, hoping that Erik would take the hint and explain to A'awynn about Christine; but of course, being a typical male…he hand no clue.
OOOOOOOOOO
They had all left the common room and Erik, Lacey and A'awynn were headed outdoors to watch the swans on the lake. A'awynn was exceptionally quiet until they got to the gazebo. A few of Erik's nieces and nephews were playing in the gardens, so Lacey ran off to play, leaving Erik and A'awynn alone.
Erik did not know what to make of the silence that hung over them. He got the uneasy feeling that something was expected of him, but he had no idea what it could be. He decided it would just be best to wait for her to speak.
After insuring that Lacey was safe and tended to, A'awynn sat down beside Erik. Her turquoise eyes held a glint of something with which Erik was unfamiliar She leaned into him, pushing her thigh up against his and placing her shoulder under his,"Erik, I want you know this…I love touching you and I will continue to do so at indiscriminate times…I find it to be a very pleasurable thing to do."
Erik tried desperately to escape the heady scent of her as she leaned in closer to him. He could not stop staring at her kissable, pouting mouth positioned not two inches from his. "There are so many reasons why I am eager to marry you Erik…and all of these will be revealed over the next few days."
Her breath caressed his cheeks as she spoke and Erik was lost in the sensation; he finally could resist no longer and relaxed against her, allowing her body to conform to his. It was a sweet, seductive game she was playing; one that Erik could never win…but every fiber in his body urged him to play.
He hesitantly chanced placing his hands on her arms; she took this to be an invitation to put her arms around him; and she was very happy to oblige. Her breath was a mere hairs length away from his ear as she nuzzled into his exotic smell. For a moment, he enjoyed the intimacy, until he felt his body reacting in a most inappropriate way.
He pulled back from her and stood, hoping to compose himself before things got worse. "A'awynn, this is a game I can not win…why would you tease a starving man with delicacies that are not within his grasp?"
A'awynn stood up and walked over to him; she took her right hand and slowly reached for his unblemished cheek. She had given him enough warning that it was coming, so he did not tense under her touch. His eyes were sensually suspended between heaven and earth as he surrendered to her touch, leaning into her hand. Her hypnotic voice permeated his stunned mind.
"I have some conditions of my own concerning our upcoming nuptials," A'awynn leaned into him again, enjoying the rush of power she had over his seductive, sexy man. "Tomorrow, meet me here at 1:00 p.m.; you are taking me into Glasgow for the day." She caressed his cheek and gave him the sweetest smile he had ever been blessed with; then she turned from him and headed toward the castle.
Erik had lost all control over his legs, and his mind was turning loops. He watched as she retreated, following her lithe form as it disappeared into the castle. She wanted to spend the entire afternoon with him? Had she lost complete control of her mind? Erik smirked at the ludicrous joy that entered his heart; if he wasn't careful, he could get used to having her around. Maybe she was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. Erik was certain this was the answer.
He stayed and watched the sun play hide and go seek with the hills and decided it was time to go inside. The women were undoubtedly making plans for the wedding while the household servants prepared for Christine's arrival. Erik thought it was rather interesting that he did not feel any of the regret and pain in his heart when he thought about Christine. In fact, when he tried to focus on her features; spun silk auburn tresses that were touched by golden highlights in the sun; frisky, turquoise eyes, a pert, freckle-laden nose; and sensuous, full lips was the image he got.
Chapter 34 Preview – First Date