A/N: Please remember, Leon has other problems besides Bipolar. So if Leon doesn't seem like someone with the disorder, that's why.

Ch. 15

Why

Charlie's hand refused to stop shaking. The gun, though empty of its clip, was growing progressively heavier. He felt sickened by what he was doing, what he was holding and pointing at another human being. He had to remind himself, over and over, that the gun was empty and incapable of doing any harm.

Leon was pacing like a caged tiger, his head turned to look at Charlie, glaring at him. When he spoke, he would shine the light at his own face as though it was a microphone. Leon's jaw was partially hidden by thick stubble a centimeter away from being a full beard. The shoulder of his coat was darkened by dirt, and his once shaved hair was starting to grow out some. Besides looking rugged, Leon appeared relatively healthy, which Charlie knew he could not say the same for himself.

" You look like hell, kid," Leon said. He flashed the light back toward Charlie, and Charlie winced at the pain it caused his retina. But he did not look away. It would be very easy for Leon to blind him then overtake him, and with the gun being empty there wasn't much he would be able to do about it.

Leon pointed the light back at himself. " Gotten kind of skinny there. You feeling all right?"

Leon's voice was all casual conversation, but the hard, angered look on his face sent a wave of cold fear through Charlie's body.

Leon stopped pacing and lowered his light back at Charlie. " What are you doing here, kid?" he asked in a dangerously low voice.

Charlie took a nervous step back. His brain was refusing to function, and his tongue was being just as rebellious. He forced what words he could from his mind, and blurted them out.

" I'm sorry!"

Leon's brow furrowed, and he took a menacing step forward. Charlie took another back.

" Sorry? You're sorry? What the hell for? What did you do?"

Charlie swallowed. " I – the – the equation. You were right. It was fine the way it was. You were right."

" You think!" Leon barked. Charlie flinched, cringing, but kept the gun raised.

Leon was breathing hard and resumed his pacing, his gaze fixed point-blank on Charlie. He shook his head.

" Man, You're just like them, you know that? Tom, Rick, Shawn... They were never freakin' satisfied..."

Charlie assumed Leon was talking about his bank-heist buddies.

" Crap, man, you'd think they'd gotten bored with the way we were doing things. But hey, it worked, didn't it? So what the hell was their problem? I'll tell you what their problem was. They got greedy, they got impatient. They wanted it to happen now, always now, now, now, never fast enough. Come on, Leon, come up with something already. Then; Hey, let's just bust in and take what we can by gun point... Freakin' morons!"

Charlie flinched again. Leon turned away to glare viciously at the ground as he paced faster. " It was working! They saw that! It was perfect! Then they had to try and screw it up! They got what they deserved! All of them!"

He turned abruptly and pointed at Charlie. " You, I saved you from that. I did, right? You didn't end up stupid like them?"

Charlie swallowed. " The equation worked."

Leon began laughing. " You see, Chuck ol' pal? Me 'an you, kindreds. We're a lot alike..."

" Shut up!" Charlie screamed, and quelled when he did. Leon froze, lowering his flashlight so that Charlie could not see his face.

" What?" the disbelief in Leon's voice was thick. Charlie took another timid step back, clutching the gun so tight it bit into his hand.

" Y-You need to leave," Charlie said. " You need to go."

Leon took another step. " Charlie," he said coldly, " I told you... I need you as my..."

" No, Leon, you don't. You – you made a mistake..."

" What!"

" You're plan. You had a plan that helped keep you safe and hidden. Didn't you? Because, if you did, then you messed it up. You stayed here too long. You waited for too long. By brother, he's FBI. He talked to the people who are after you, and they're looking for you. But you can still make it. You can save you're plan if you go now and don't come back. So -so maybe you should just leave, Leon. I'll let you. Just go."

Leon was silent for a long moment, and the silence felt heavy enough to smother. Charlie swallowed, forcing his body not to move another step.

The flashlight was pointed at the ground, so Charlie could not see anything of Leon. The man was statue still.

Charlie couldn't take it any more. It didn't matter if Leon was shocked or angry - any reaction would have been better than this eternal silence and waiting for the bad Charlie knew was inevitable.

" Why are you still here, Leon? I said you could go. Just leave me alone, that's all I want. You don't need me because you have you're plan. It can still work."

Then, Charlie saw Leon's head move, shaking no.

" I – can't..."

" Why!" Charlie cried. " Why won't you just go?"

" I don't know, Chuck. Maybe 'cause I don't want to. Maybe it's all part of my plan. Ever think of that?"

Charlie wrinkled his own brow in thought. This wasn't working. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Charlie was supposed to know more of what was going on, not less. Leon would only be killed if he used Charlie as a hostage. The Feds would increase their effort in searching for him, especially if he tried to drag Charlie along for the ride. It would only make things worse.

Unless, Charlie realized suddenly, it was what Leon wanted.

Bipolar disorder: Emotional highs and lows - depression.

Leon wanted to be caught. Maybe, even, to die.

So why not advance on Charlie and force him to shoot?

" D-Do you want to get caught?" Charlie said, making it sound more like a warning than a question. Leon began to pace again, fast and brimming with agitation. Apparently, Charlie had struck a nerve.

Perhaps, then, Leon was weary, just like Charlie. He wanted it to stop just like Charlie. What was going on in Charlie's head was nothing compared to what raged through Leon's brain. Tidal waves of emotions that kept dragging him under, rising and falling with no warning, smothering much of his own will power. Charlie knew this, and gradually a small part of him felt bad for Leon.

Leon ran a stiff hand through his hair, and began mumbling as though arguing with himself.

" Just go," Charlie begged. Leon whirled around.

" I can't!"

" Then leave me alone!"

Leon snorted out a laugh. " Or what, you'll shoot me? Kid, you're a coward, you don't have the guts."

" You don't need guts," Charlie spat back, anger mixing with the terror. " I'm scared, Leon. I know you can see that. I could twitch, then jerk, and pull the trigger on accident. You know that."

Leon threw up his hands. " Fine, you're dangerous, good for you..."

" Do you want to get caught?"

Leon froze again. Of course he wouldn't admit to it, Charlie realized. Pride wouldn't let him. The truth of it would make him seem the coward. But Charlie knew it had nothing to do with cowardice. Leon was weary – of running, hiding, planning, forever looking over his shoulder, and feeling too much at one time. He was a sick man, he knew it, and he wanted it to stop.

" It's all right, Leon," Charlie said, his sympathy for the man increasing a notch. " You don't have to keep running. You'd know they would only put you in a mental facility, not a prison. You might even be released one day..."

Leon shook his head. " No. No, they won't release me Chuck. You know why? Because I'm a killer. I don't care. I hurt people..."

" But I don't think you mean to," Charlie countered. " You let me go."

" Do not!" Leon screamed. " Tell me how my mind works! You don't know me!"

" I'm starting to," Charlie said in a small voice so that not even Leon could hear. The man began pacing again, ranting out his fury, screaming at the top of his lungs and not caring if anyone heard.

Leon turned again, facing Charlie. " I liked you, you little SOB. I really did. Crap, why did you have to come out here!"

" Because you wouldn't leave me alone."

" You little... Son of a...!"

Charlie knew that Leon wanted call him a coward. But he couldn't, because Charlie, in all truth, was the one in charge. He held the gun, and was the threat. All Leon's uncontrollable fury could not change that fact.

" If you won't leave," Charlie said. " T-Then I'll take you in."

" No!" Leon shouted. " No! You will not!" But neither did Leon run.

Every shout was making Charlie's heart slam hard, and his mind spin dizzily with uncertainty and fear. He couldn't take much more of this. He needed Don here to take over and do what Charlie did not know how to do. Leon wasn't going anywhere, and Charlie wasn't sure how to get him moving.

Suddenly, Leon whirled around, stalking right up to Charlie until the gun was pressed into his chest. He had moved so fast Charlie did not have time to register it, so had not moved himself. They were face to face now, the taller man glaring down at the smaller. Charlie shrank, but did not lower the gun.

" Shoot me," Leon hissed. Charlie's brain screamed for his legs to move, but could only manage them a step back. Leon moved with him.

" Shoot me!" Leon yelled, startling Charlie.

" N-no," Charlie whimpered.

" You little freakin' coward. Shoot me!"

" No! I can't... I won't..."

Leon began breathing through clenched teeth, foam and saliva flecking his lips. " Then I'll kill you."

Charlie began panting, unable to catch his breath. He sucked in a ragged one, and forced his next words from his constricted throat.

" I-I can't..."

Leon reached out slowly and took a fistful of Charlie's shirt, his knuckles digging painfully into the young man's sternum. But that was all he did. Charlie kept the gun trained on Leon, and Leon kept hold of Charlie, waiting.

He wants to die, Charlie thought nauseously.

Yeah, Chuck, he does.

" I won't do it," Charlie croaked weakly. " It's not right."

Leon's grip tightened. He raised his flashlight like a club.

" Please..." he snarled.

Another light flashed across Charlie's vision, dancing behind Leon like an over-sized firefly.

" Freeze!"

Leon dropped his arm, snapping his head around while keeping a firm grip on Charlie's shirt. Charlie glanced past Leon's shoulder, but could see nothing because of the light.

" Drop him!" The voice shouted, a voice Charlie knew too well; Don.

Don was advancing toward Leon, moving deliberately. Charlie could see other shadowy forms behind him, and the flash of light off guns.

Leon looked back at Charlie, and this close Charlie could see him without the use of a flashlight. The man wore no expression; no anger, no defeat, not even sadness. He was a blank slate, momentarily devoid of all emotions.

Don came up behind him, grabbing Leon by the arm. Leon reacted, releasing Charlie and spinning around, trying to tear his arm from Don's grasp. The other two agents hurried forward as one, tackling a struggling Leon to the ground. Instead of cuffs, they placed plastic bands around his wrists to reduce injury as he fought. He screamed, spitting curses at the two agents, but allowed himself to be hauled onto his feet. Charlie watched, numb and dazed, as Leon was dragged off. The man's head turned, and even in the darkness their gazes met.

" Thanks, Chuck!" He snapped, but Charlie could not tell if it was sarcasm, or a strange form of thanks hidden behind bitterness. Charlie watched him go, and did not look away even when he was out of sight.

" Charlie?"

Charlie turned his head slightly to the right. His brain felt lost in a thick mire, and it took a while for familiarity to register.

" Don?"

Charlie took a step toward his brother, his cold hand loosening its grip on the gun until it dropped to the ground with a thud. His legs gave out, and he felt himself falling, only to be caught by strong arms. Charlie then began to sob.

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Don rushed forward in time to catch his brother as he faltered and began to fall. He had the younger man beneath the arms, then slowly lowered himself and Charlie onto their knees. He then leaned his brother against his shoulder, and wrapped his arms around the skinny, shaking body, holding tightly as though letting go would mean losing Charlie again.

Charlie was sobbing, hard, clutching the sleeves of Don's jacket as though he were also hanging on. And he probably was. The energy was gone from his little brother, and he had nothing left. His body was slumped, his backbone digging into Don's arm as he held him to keep him upright. Don could hear muffled words and tilted his head slightly to hear.

" I'm sorry, Don, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

Don patted his brother's back with one hand. " It's okay, buddy, it's all right. It's over."

Don noticed the gun discarded on the ground, missing its clip. All his anger, disbelief, and fear were forgotten, drained from him the moment he had caught his weak and frightened brother in his arms. All that was left was relief, sweet and all consuming, as he held his brother and knew with a surety that he was not hurt. And even when that relief would finally pass, he knew the anger would not return. It did not matter why Charlie had done what he had done. The fact was it was over, and all reason be shot.

He just wanted his brother to be all right.

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A/N: Not quite over yet. One more chapter to go. Also, this was a bit of a tricky chapter to write. Lots of emotion. So if it's still a bit confusing, I apologize. And I have to confess, I had no idea how things were going to turn out. Personally, I'm rather happy with it.