Golden Bat – Chapter Nine
The guard cupped his hands round the match and lit his cigarette. He dragged the fumes into his lungs and coughed bronchially as he flicked the still burning match onto the roof. It was cold. He was cold. It was the kind of night he should be huddled around a mug of tea, or better yet his girl, instead of which he was patrolling the roof of Wayne Tech at 2 am. The boss had gone mad. Completely mad. They were shifting whatever it was he was worried about out tonight.
Still, he couldn't complain about the overtime. He checked his gun again for the twentieth time tonight. That man who had broken in previously had made all the guards jittery. Normally he would be up here alone, now there were four other guards about. All with itchy trigger fingers. He rubbed his hands to try and get some life into them and peered up the gantry. What was that?
There was a thumping sound up ahead.
"Abbott! Abbott!" he hissed. Another man loped next to him. Abbott was a giant of man, with teeth that told of too many fights and too few dentists.
"Wassup, my man?"
"There's somebody hiding over there. Behind that vent. I heard him, man!"
There was a clicking sound next to him as Abbott took the safety off his gun. "He so dead man! He so dead!" That was a vicious staccato chattering sound as he loosed a full magazine at the vent. The vent was ripped to shreds, and the air was full of the acrid smell of gunpowder smoke.
The silence that followed was broken only by the tinkling sound of cartridges falling on the roof. There was another clinking sound and Abbott put in another magazine.
"You keep me covered, my brother," said Abbott. "I'll check out how many pieces this boy is in."
The guard put the gun sight to his eye and kept it trained on a space in front of Abbott. Abbott suddenly collapsed in front of him and the guard saw a black bat-like shape for just an instant before he collapsed himself, a drugged dart in his neck.
Selina giggled as Bond poured out another vodka martini for her. He was explaining to her that the shaking was so much better for releasing the taste of the vodka martin than mere stirring.
"Is that how you prefer yours," giggled Selina. "Shaken?"
Bond poured her another drink. "So how long have you known Bruce Wayne for then?"
"Oh, several years." She looked up at him coquettishly. "Let's talk about you."
"Nothing much to say. Lost my parents in a mountaineering accident. I was raised by my uncle. He was in the navy. He taught me most everything I know."
"Is that who I have to blame? Can you take your hand off my leg please?"
"If you take your hand off mine," said Bond. "Thanks. You've got to watch the material."
"So what's a man like you doing in Gotham then?"
"I'm here on business."
"I thought I was your business?"
"I always mix work and pleasure."
There was a knocking sound at the door and a clicking sound and then Alfred came walking in. "Sorry to disturb you, sir, madam." He put a cleaned and pressed suit into the wardrobe. "Miss Kyle. Could I have a word for a moment please?" Alfred beckoned to Selina. "Excuse us a moment, Mr Bond."
Bond shrugged as if it meant nothing to him. Selina walked out, arching her eyebrows at James as she left.
Batman cursed himself for complacency. That guard firing his gun would soon mean that this roof would be a very unhealthy place. Still, he was here now; he might as well make the best of it. He leapt into a skylight and smashed the glass into a thousand pieces that sparkled like stars as they fell to the ground. Before he hit the ground he fired a grappling hook, which caught on a gantry and sent him swinging through the blackness of the warehouse. It was only his night vision that stopped him hitting the numerous boxes and machines that littered the place.
He landed with animal-like grace in front of two guards equipped with night vision and AK47's. Two seconds later they had earned themselves enough qualifications for a three-day stay in casualty.
Without breaking stride Batman ran towards his target. He had done some checking back in the cave and there was a newly built section of the warehouse. Lead lined, with a titanium surface and an elevator going down two hundred feet into the earth. The plans submitted to Wayne Corp for financial authorisation included the locks, the bathrooms, the canteens; right down to the colour of the walls and the motivational posters that lined the wall.
There was a clicking sound and a gun turret rolled smoothly round as Batman approached the new section. He gasped in shock. The plans had not included five remote gun turrets and, judging by the humming sound, an electrified wall.
With a vicious hammering sound all five-gun turrets fired at Batman.
"I'm sorry to bother you, madam," said Alfred. "Not that I was expecting to see you in his room but…"
Alfred closed the door behind him and pulled her up the corridor away from Bond's door. "The master wanted you to stay away from Mr Bond." He pointed into the room that Bond was in. "That man works for the British Intelligence services. He is one of their top assassins. He's extremely dangerous."
"I'm not exactly a pussycat myself, Alfred," said Selina, looking at the room she had just left. "I thought you would like him? He's British like you."
"He is not like me," hissed Alfred. "Please, Miss Kyle, be careful. I would prefer it if you stayed in your own room tonight. I do not trust that man."
"I don't need your advice on men, Alfred."
"Please madam! If you don't you will eat no more of my meals under this roof."
Selina looked at him shrewdly. He was looking determined enough to carry out the threat and the thought of no more of Alfred's cooking made even Selina shudder.
"You have yourself a deal," she said, and rubbed a finger under Alfred's chin and playfully made to undo his bow tie. "You know how to tempt a woman, Alfred."
Alfred moved her hands away irritably. "Thank you madam." He went back and locked the door to Bond's room.
Batman leapt backwards. The floor beneath erupted, cracked and disintegrated from the hail of bullets that hit it. He cartwheeled backwards, the bullets catching the edge of his cape and perforating it. The guns stopped just as suddenly as they started as soon as he threw himself from the kill zone. There was a clicking sound as several guns were cocked and aimed at Batman from half a dozen thugs. There at the front, grinning broadly, was the Joker and behind him, looking distinctly bedraggled from his impromptu dip in the river, was Jaws.
"Batman, so good of you to drop in. I'd love you to meet a new friend of mine. His smile puts even mine into the shade."
Selina closed the door to her bedroom and sighed deeply. She was so looking forward to a fun evening with Bond. There was something about him that set her pulse racing. Most men she could wrap round her little finger, but not Bond. He didn't always do what she wanted and that excited as well as annoyed her. Oh well, Bruce might be back later but he was always so serious after his nighttime forays. She was almost tempted to put on the suit and join him. She was just about to take off her clothes and slide into her cat suit when she heard a cough.
"Don't stop on my account."
"How did you get in here?"
"The window. How long do we have before Alfred comes knocking?"
"How long do you need?" She slinked towards Bond.
Jaws aimed a punch at Batman, which he ducked and sent a scissor kick into the big man's knee in an attempt to bring him down. Jaws grunted with pain, grabbed Batman by one leg and threw him into a series of packing cases. He relaxed before he landed to minimise the damage.
"I'll leave you and Jaws to get better acquainted," said the Joker. "I'd love to chat and catch up on old times, but time's a-wasting! Ciao for now! Don't kill him, Jaws, just rough him up a bit. The boss will want to deal with him personally."
Batman got his feet and punched Jaws on the jaw. That was a big mistake. If it wasn't for his reinforced glove and the years of training he had forced himself to do he would have broken his hand. Jaws grabbed him by the neck and lifted him clean off the floor. Batman kicked Jaws in the stomach and chest forcing the big man to let him go. He rolled on the ground and spun his legs round to trip Jaws up. With a thundering crash Jaws fell to the ground.
He could not allow this fight to take all his time. He had to get to the Joker. With that madman free God knows how many hundreds would die. Jaws kicked him in the stomach and sent him sliding over the ground and into the guns' kill zone again. If it weren't for his exceptional reactions and some amazing acrobatics he would have been killed.
He got to his feet and looked about in shock. Jaws, the Joker and his men had gone. He looked about at the heavy security surrounding this new part of Wayne Tech. He couldn't get in there, not on his own. There was only person he knew who could break into a place like this…
There was a sharp rapping at the door and Alfred let himself in.
"Miss Kyle, I thought you should know…" Alfred looked aghast. "Good grief. I'm so sorry."
"You've never seen a naked cat before?"
Alfred blushed a crimson colour and stared at the wall. "I'm so sorry for bursting in, madam. I just thought you should know Master Bruce is on his way back." He stole a glance to his left, shuddered and looked back at the wall. "Please forgive the intrusion, but he would like a word with you when he gets back. I've also brought you your nightgown, madam. I apologise it was not here for you when you arrived." Alfred without looking behind him edged to the bed and put it carefully down. He then started edging out.
"Thank you, Alfred, but I always sleep au naturel, don't you?"
"At my age the chills do affect me, madam. I have some striped pyjamas and slippers. I really should be going, madam."
"I can just picture you in slippers, Alfred," said Selina, holding the duvet under her chin, "and nothing else."
"Please madam, I'm an old man! I will just see if Mr Bond has settled in. I have a mug of hot chocolate and some marshmallows for him."
There was a rustling sound from the window. "I'll just close the curtains madam. We don't want you catching a chill." With a clunking sound he shut the window and produced a small key to lock it shut. "That should stop any night-time visitors," he muttered to himself. There was a tapping sound from the window. Alfred closed the curtain behind him.
"Apologies for disturbing you, madam." There was an even more insistent knocking sound from the window. "I wonder who that could be?" With a wry smile he flicked back the curtains and almost fell back in shock. Where he had been expecting a bedraggled British agent caught quite literally with his pants down, there was a tall sinister bat-like creature. A rather battered, bedraggled, and quite put out bat-like creature.
"Alfred, open the window! I am not breaking into my own mansion."
With a hurried apology Alfred unlocked the window and let Batman in. "What is going on here? Why are you locking windows on the third floor of my mansion and what are you doing in the same room as a naked Selina?"
"I do apologise sir, it is not what it seems."
"It better not be."
"Don't be horrible to him, Brucey, he was just bringing me my nightgown and talking about what he wears in bed." She looked at him playfully. "Is this the big bad jealous boyfriend coming out? Does that mean we are officially an item?"
Bruce peeled off his mask and looked at Alfred in surprise. "Nothing to be jealous about, is there?" he said, ignoring the second part of the phrase about commitment in time-honoured boyfriend style.
"Didn't have time," muttered Selina under her breath. "Anyway dear, how was your day at the office?"