Because of You, a mars fanfic

Because of You

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Mars or anything related to it. I also do NOT own the song 'Because of You' or anything related to Kelly Clarkson, but I do own this fic!

Reminiscing in my bed, I realize how jumbled and twisted my life has become. I try to act like everything's ok and like it used to be, but I know now that that's impossible. It seems each and every day gets longer. I feel like the world will never come to an end. My mother keeps telling me that everything will be all right and that she'll teach me how to survive in this complicated and evil world. The only thing is, I don't want to be like her. I love my mother with all my heart, but I can't bring myself to follow in her footsteps.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

I don't like to blame my mother for what happened, but it seems like the only thing I can do. After all, she let that horrid man live in this house, and even though he says he's my father he's not even close. My father loved me, and REAL love. Not that kind of love. His love was unconditional and pure. This man is pure evil and doesn't deserve to hold the same positionmy father did in this household. He doesn't even deserve to be in my life. He may be good enough for my mother, but he's not good enough for me. He has no idea what he's done to me.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Even at school I act different around the friends I used to know and love. Before a laugh or smile came naturally, but now it feels all wrong. When I try I feel that I'm not good enough to enjoy life, and that these people are too good for me. I don't want to breakdown in front of them, but sometimes that seems like the only thing I can do.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

No one knows what's wrong with me. They just think I'm going through a faze. I wish it were true. I wish I could over come this growing fear inside of me. If only he truly knew the damage he's done.

During times like these I try so hard not to fall asleep. I'm afraid that if I do he'll come after me. He always comes after me. When he does I kill him in the most awful ways imaginable. I think to myself, what's the worst way to die, than that's how I do it. I'll kill him over & over again, until he's no longer human. Or I should say, until he no longer 'looks' human. That man is a monster.

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Maybe for now I'll get some rest or else I might loose my mind. If I stay awake I dread sleeping and vise versa. The world is cruel. Why can't I ever win? Some day, I'll find my savior, and I'll know him the moment I see him. He'll help me forget the past and move on in life. He'll make that demon pay for the pain he's caused, but until then I must fight it and hope that he sees the scars that mark my soul.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you,
Because of you

A cute quote that applies to Kira & Rei…

'Love, like a river, will cut a new path
whenever it meets an obstacle.'

Hope you liked it!
liljdpegasuschic160