"Growth Spurts"

Act II

Two nights later, Darkwing raised his glass in a toast. "To the two of us," he said. She repeated it happily. They clinked their glasses together and drank. Then he put down the glass and stared at her dreamily for several moments.

She smiled back at him, and then said, "Well, Dark, how have you been?"

"Uh? Oh- I- fine... Yes, that's right, I- did stuff, and then- um- how about you?"

He never seemed to know exactly what to say to her lately. It made her a little melancholy. She tried hard to keep a conversation going. ""Oh, I've been taking care of Archie."

He seemed to remember this. "Right! How is he?"

"He's doing alright now, it seems. I was worried about him for awhile, but I checked his diet and it seems as if all that's happening is that he's having a few little... growth spurts." She was interrupted by a crash from the other room. She smiled widely and said, "I'll be right back."

Darkwing leaned back in his chair as she left the room, and then shot forward again when she started yelling. "ARCHIE, NO! Put it down! Bad boy! Bad bad bad!" More crashes followed. Darkwing gaped. She was having this much trouble with Archie...?

Morgana emerged again a moment or so later, breathing hard. She stopped herself and smoothed a piece of hair back into place, and then smiled at Darkwing again. "It appears that Archie wanted to play with Great-great-Grandfather Rigoris." She glided over to a shelf and placed a white object on the top of it. Then she returned to the table and sat back down. "It was murder getting that piece away from him. How he got into the coffin, I'LL never know, but--"

Darkwing stopped her. "Morgue- Isn't Archie your spider?"

"Yes. Why?"

A soft thumping entered the room. Darkwing ignored it. "Just- how big did you say he'd gotten?"

Morgana smiled nervously. "Ah- not too big..."

Darkwing gave her a slightly suspicious look. "Morgana-- Hey, did you get a dog?" he asked. "Something just brushed against my leg-" He lifted the table cloth to see Archie rubbing up against his leg. His back was hitting the underside of the table, shaking it lightly. Darkwing took a moment to process this, and then summed up his feelings with: "YAAAAAAAAA!"

Archie scuttled out from under the table, his eyes wide, and ran to Morgana's side. Darkwing backed away from the two of them.

Morgana gave him a stern look. "Stop that, Darkwing! You're upsetting him!"

"I'm upsetting him!" he gasped.

"Well, it's not his fault he's growing up so big this fast, now is it? Really, do try to be a little more supportive." She turned to her oversized familiar and scratched his fur, as if he were a dog.

Darkwing looked positively aghast. "Supportive! Are you kidding? Morgana! That's a giant spider sitting there! That thing's a monster! It's an abomination! Just what have you been feeding him!"

Archie grumbled. Morgana looked annoyed. "Oh, Dark, he is not that bad!" placed her hand on Archie's back- which came up to about her hip. "He's just a wittle-bitty 'pider!" She started petting Archie again, cooing, "Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"There's nothing 'wittle' or 'bitty' about that... that thing," said Darkwing. Watching her petting the spider seemed to be making him feel ill.

"Honestly, Dark, you knew about my familiars when we first started dating." She stood up, and gave him a cold look.

"I didn't know they'd grow up so... so grotesquely! Morgana, couldn't you just... you know... get rid of him?" He made a little shooing motion with his hands.

Archie whimpered and rubbed up against her, almost knocking her over. "But, Dark... he doesn't want to leave the room," she said in her most pleading voice.

Darkwing grumbled, "I didn't mean just out of the room."

She no longer looked upset- just angry, now. Her eyes flashed at his last statement. Darkwing would never, could never understand what her familiars meant to her. "So, what then! I should just abandon him, after he's always been there for me? After we've been through so much together? When he needs me the most? No, Darkwing, I won't do that. Archie is my familiar. He's a part of me. And if you can't understand that..."

"Morgana, I can understand it just fine. But I want you to understand something." Morgana rolled her eyes. He was starting to take on his "I'm the authority here and you will listen to me" tone. "I will not be in the same house as this creature. It's grotesque! Just the fact that you're keeping it around is horrifying!"

She looked at him coolly. "So you're saying..."

"I'm saying it's the spider or me." He crossed his arms with finality.

She paused- not to make her decision, but to keep herself from saying it too harshly. Finally, she managed, "Don't let the door hit you on your way out." She was pleased with that. It had toned down her original reaction by about a hundred fold.

Darkwing looked surprised for a moment, then his face tightened. "I should've known."

"Yes. You should have. You know, after all the arguments we've had, I'm surprised it's something as small as Archie that finally split us up."

He snorted. "Morgana, that thing's not small at all." He stood up and took his hat from a coat rack. "Goodbye, Morgana," he said as he walked towards the door.

She turned away from him, and answered quietly, "Goodbye, Darkwing." Archie brushed against her hip softly.

She waited to hear the door close, but it didn't happen. Maybe... he was having second thoughts...? "Um... Morgana," he said in a shaky voice.

She turned, trying to decide if she'll take him back or make him suffer for a while. "Hm?" she said casually.

"GET HIM OFF OF ME!" Darkwing yelled. The scene was perversely funny, even though Darkwing was obviously scared out of his wits. Archie had Darkwing's arm in his mouth and didn't seem to be about to let it go. Darkwing looked afraid to move.

"Oh, Archie," she said quietly. She went over to them and pulled on Darkwing's arm gently. Darkwing's eyes, she noticed, were squeezed shut. She felt for him, just for a moment. "Let go, Archie." He gave no sign of hearing her. She tried to pry his mouth open, and Archie set his jaw even harder. Stubborn, she thought. "When I say to, yank your arm out, okay?" she said to Darkwing. "On three. One- two-"

Darkwing yelped and whacked Archie over the head with his free arm. Archie let go of Darkwing and scuttled into the corner.

"What on earth did you do that for!" asked Morgana, her eyes flashing. "Have you lost the ability to count?"

"It bit me!" yelled Darkwing. "That thing bit me! What do you mean what did I do that for!"

"Well, maybe YOU DESERVED IT!" she yelled. She zapped him before she even thought about what she was doing. They stared at each other for a moment, and then he left. She let out a long breath after he was gone, and watched the door for a moment. Then she went to Archie and scratched him on his back again. "Good boy!"

Morgana sighed as she looked through yet another book the next evening. She was looking out a window, but her attention wasn't focused on anything in particular. Archie passed by the window and blocked about half of it. She didn't seem to notice. She sighed again, and turned to Eek and Squeak. "Do you think he'll call?" she asked them.

They shrugged.

"Well... we didn't part on very good terms." She turned her attention back to the window. "But it was all his fault, and I'm certainly not going to be the one to call. I shouldn't have to."

The bats nodded.

"But still... I guess I really do... love him." She sighed a third time. She'd tried all day to focus on Archie. Hours ago, she'd found him among a few of her magic ingredients. He'd knocked them over to open them, and was just devouring them. When she'd scolded him he'd growled at her. It had unnerved her, to say the least. It had reminded her of what Darkwing had said- about Archie being grotesque. She'd thought that he was rather cute. But maybe he was getting a little out of hand. Well, it wasn't as if she hadn't tried to find a cure. There just didn't seem to be one! What more could she do? "Dark, you idiot," she said outloud.

Archie bumbled by the window again, knocking a few things over as he did. She decided to turn her attention back to the more immediate matter before her, and after she'd cast a spell to right the overturned objects, she went back to her book. "Non-consummable matter for familiars" was the chapter she was looking at. Despite having gone over this myriads of times already, she felt she had better go back to it after what had happened with her ingredients earlier.

"Let's see... the main magical ingredients that familiars shouldn't ingest are tanis root, larsh weed, extract of negadu, any Chaos fruit-" this was something which Morgana always made sure to avoid anyway, since she didn't like the unpredictable results, "-and ehvi powder. Hmm." She was sure that Archie hadn't been around any of that, but why not double check? She was relieved to find that all her supplies seemed fine.

She was at a loss. She picked up the phone and called Dr. Strangeduck.

"Well, he seems healthy enough. His reflexes are a little slow, but his heart beat's fine. I'd say the only abnormal thing about him is that he's so big. What have you been feeding him, Morgana?" asked Dr. Strangeduck. Archie turned his giant eyes to the floor and slowly lifted his feet, one by one.

"It's more like what he's been feeding himself." She explained about the potions from earlier.

The doctor nodded. "Have you checked on the forbidden ingredients?"

"Oh, yes. I've done that twice."

"And you do know about the special ones for spiders."

Morgana blinked. "...I'm sorry?"

The doctor explained, "Lots of familiars have specific aversions to specific ingredients. For example, a lot of eels can't stand monkeys. Spiders have their own aversions, to things like sindel weed, jenaris extract, worm's wart, yraeg--"

Morgana gasped. "Did you say Worm's wart? What happens when they ingest worm's wart?"

"Well, they- Heh, come to think of it, they swell up to a huge size!" Dr. Strangeduck chuckled. He had a habit of laughing at the most inappropriate times. "Has he been near any worm's wart lately?"

Morgana told him about the potion fiasco from a few days ago, and he nodded. "Well, there we have it." He put his chin in his hand. Archie looked up at him and eyed him. "That also explains his enlarged appetite. They'll eat anything to keep up with the growthspurts." He turned and knocked his fist on Archie's head. "And I'll bet his brain's getting smaller, too." Archie opened his mouth and took ahold of the doctor's arm. "Oh, dear." He chuckled again. "Morgana, could you--"

"Oh, of course!" Morgana pried Archie's mouth open and the doctor took his hand out. "Dr. Strangeduck, is there a way to reverse this, now that we know what the problem is?"

"Oh, yes," he said. He reached into his overcoat and took out a piece of paper and a pen. "Get me these ingredients, please. We can do this right now."

Morgana nodded and went into her storeroom to get the items on the list. She heard Dr. Strangeduck say to Archie, "Now open wide, my boy, this won't hurt a bit," and chuckle. Her blood ran cold for a moment when Archie growled again. At least this would all be over with soon.

A muffled yell from the other room brought her running back. She came to a halt and looked around the room. Where had Dr. Strangeduck gone? And why was Archie chewing... on... something...

Archie spit out a shoe and kept chewing. "Oh, no!" Morgana exclaimed. She ran to Archie's side just as he swallowed. "Oh, Archie, don't you realize what you've done?" His only response was a stare, a lazy, stupid stare. He looked like a cow. Then he opened his mouth, and she leaned forward, actually expecting him to talk for a moment. He belched with such force that it blew her hair back. It settled down her back, and she just stared at her spider. With a sigh, she said, "You know, don't you."

Morgana had called the Eldritch Academy, and her parents, just to ask a "hypothetical" question. If a person were to have a familiar who was growing to insane proportions, and maybe devour certain living, and innapropriate, things, what should she do? The person, that is? The answer that she kept getting was, "Get rid of the familiar!"

But she couldn't. Morgana had had Archie for years, and she loved him. He was gruff on the edges, but he'd do anything for her, including risk falling into a cauldron full of worm's wart. She'd grown so attached to him. They were in this together- and poor Archie wasn't even smart enough to know what he'd done to the doctor!

Poor Dr. Strangeduck, too. The man had been trying to help her, and had been senselessly devoured. She shook her head. If only Archie could have waited a minute...

She'd been working for hours now, trying to find out what the doctor had been trying to tell her to do. Archie had grown in that short amount of time, and he was now almost as tall as she was. He was over her head but her hair gave her another foot of height. In any case, she had to work fast. She'd tried combining the ingredients on the list, but couldn't find a way to use them- except as a meal. Maybe Dr. Strangeduck had had something to add to the main list, she thought as she finished her dinner. Archie wandered in, smelling the food, and she reached out to scratch his back. He snapped at her hand.

She felt uncomfortable, and locked him in the back room.

She awoke hours later, and realized that she'd fallen asleep while going through her books. "What a time to sleep," she groaned to herself as she sat up. A crash came from one of the back rooms. She went to check it out, and then realized that it was the room she'd been keeping Archie in. The memory of the sharp clicking his teeth had made when he'd snapped at her hand came back to her suddenly and she shuddered and began to turn away.

She stopped herself just in time. I'm being silly, she thought. After all, he is my familiar. No matter what, he will obey me. She continued, and unlocked the door to the room Archie was in.

The sight was... strange, to say the least. He was huge. Much bigger than he'd been before. He was bumping into the chandelier on the ceiling. And right now, he was running in a circle through the room, bumping into things and snarling. The room was covered in spider webs, in at least five different places. Morgana felt frightened of the situation for the first time.

"Archie... what are you doing...?" she asked, softly. He slowed to a stop and looked at her. She gasped. His eyes showed no signs of recognition- no intelligence. He was drooling. He stepped towards her. "What-" she managed, and was knocked to the ground when he suddenly sprang at her, nightmarishly fast and strong. She hadn't thought his mouth was near her at all, but she felt him bite into her hand. Her arm was surrounded by fur, in fact she was completely surrounded by it, and she couldn't breathe all of a sudden because Archie smelled so odd- His teeth sank into her hand and she realized why Darkwing had screamed. Archie wasn't gentle. Her reflexes kicked in, and she blasted him across the room and scrambled to her feet.

Archie staggered for a moment, and then saw her again, and growled. She saw him tensing to jump again. She screamed aloud and got outside, slamming the door after herself. There was a thud as he hit the door blindly.

She ran down the hall to her magic rooms, praying that the door held and knowing that it wouldn't. She could hear him, still thumping at the door, and the noise was sick and awful because she knew that he was throwing himself at the door- his entire body- and it wasn't hurting him at all. He was a monster. How was she going to get out of this?

As she reached her room she heard a splintering sound. The door was giving way. She said a spell quickly to make it hold, and now felt it each time that Archie smashed himself against the door. He wasn't just using brute force, he was using magic, too, fighting her own with his.

She tore through piles of books, knowing that none could help her, still feeling him pounding on the door and her spell. It was like the thuds were in her mind and body now, as well. She broke into a sweat and swept through the piles, sending them flying across the room. Nothing. Nothing!

Why hasn't he given up! Why is he trying so hard to kill me? She stifled a scream, and made herself stop. Calm down, Morgana. Easy. If you panic you're as good as dead. If the doctor knew what to do, then obviously there was something that could be done. Her heart jumped as she heard Archie scream from the back room.

She staggered- he had given a huge push and broken through. When she recovered, she saw him coming- springing through the halls, moving at spider speed with those huge, powerful legs. She ran, and heard the doorframe to her lab splinter as he made it through.

She turned a corner, and he was unable to slow down enough to make the turn. He passed it. She took the opportunity to cast a demobilization spell behind her, so that when he followed he'd get stuck.

If he followed her that way...

He was stupid. He wouldn't remember the other ways through the house. She assured herself of this and tried to clear her mind to think. But either she didn't clear her mind very well, or else she was concentrating too hard... A spider web, a huge one, came out of nowhere, and she ran right into it and stuck.

She saw him down the hall, not bothering to run. Just scuttling along the floor, almost grinning, his face demonic. He knew he had her. He was enjoying this! How could her poor, sweet Archie become this- thing? For the first time, she noticed that Archie had fangs. Big ones. They were glistening... And his eyes... his eyes were so... huge...

"MORGANA!"

She snapped out of it, and wondered who had yelled her name. It took her a moment to realize that she had done it herself. In that moment, she remembered a quick-and-easy spell she'd learned when she was younger. It was the only thing in her mind. It filled her mind.

Archie crouched.

Morgana held out her arms, as far as they'd go, and cried, "Lleps dnew on!" as Archie leapt at her. She shut her eyes.

Something hit her shoulder, and bounced off. There was a small thud as that something hit the floor. Then it grumbled. She opened her eyes, and there was Archie- her Archie, a fuzzy little puffball of a spider, holding two legs to his head and grumbling irritably. "Oh, Archie!" she cried, and melted the webbing. She bent and picked him up. "I'm so glad you're okay!" She held him to her cheek, and he rubbed against her affectionately. "Don't you ever, ever, ever go near worm's wart again!"

"I realized that you'd been right, Dark," said Morgana the next evening, on the phone with Darkwing. She knew just the words to use on him. "He was a little out of control. In any case, I found a way to get him back to normal. Would you care to come over tonight and maybe... talk things out?"

Archie grumbled to himself- another boring night while Morgana and Darkwing made eyes at each other. He curled up into a small ball and looked around for Eek and Squeak, but they were nowhere to be seen. He shrugged. A nap sounded fine to him. He shuts his eyes, and then reopened one. He could have sworn that he saw, in the corner, a large black wing dragging itself into the shadows.

The End

Story © 1996 by R. Littlehales. All characters are © the Walt Disney Co., and are used without permission. This story is not intended to infringe on the rights of the W.Disney Co, nor is it intended to make a profit. The story may be reproduced with my permission, but no profit may be made from it.