A/N: I'm sorry the update took so long. I've been struggling with the seventh chapter and it's still not good. I kinda hoped to be almost finished now so I could post the rest. I just hope I'll be able to finish chapter seven soon. Please be patient though...chapter six is finished, but I prefer to wait with updating otherwise there'll be a long time for the next update. Thanks to those who reviewed! It's truly appreciated! This time a little Alex angst with Bobby doing the comforting.

Part five

It was past seven when he came downstairs again. He heard Alex in the living room. Walking in he saw her sitting on the floor, next to her nephew who was sitting on his blanket. She was holding a stuffed animal out to him. It felt good having talked to her. For the first time in his life he felt like he had someone to share the burden with. A small smile appeared on his face as he saw Michael giggling at his aunt.

Alex picked Michael up and held him above her head, moving him around like an airplane, making the appropriate sounds to accompany the flight. She settled him down in her lap again, when she saw Michael's attention was focused on something else. Turning to the direction Michael was looking at she saw Bobby.

"Hey." She smiled at him. He looked a little better, not much, but it was an improvement.

"Hi." He walked to the couch closest to her. He'd only seen Michael from a couple of pictures Alex had shown him. "Hi, Michael." Bobby reached out, tickling Michael on his tummy, making him giggle.

"Will you watch him for a moment while I get us something to drink and check on dinner."

"Sure." Bobby took Alex place on the floor. Michael had his big blue eyes focused on the tall man in front of him. The child seemed to observe him. There was something in his stare that reminded him of Alex. Grabbing a big orange tiger he made it jump around Michael. The little boy's hands reach out to grab it, but couldn't. Sometimes he lost his balance, tumbling over. "You know, Michael." Bobby picked the boy up, held him in his arms and continued his story. "your auntie Alex is a very special person. She's the best there is, besides your mommy and daddy of course." His voice turned into a whisper as if he was a sharing a secret with Michael. "You can count on her and if anyone every bothers you, she will kick their ass. And believe me, she's good at that. She's tough as nails, your auntie Alex. You've gotta be good to her, she deserves that." Michael's attention was focused on Bobby, as if he understood every word the tall detective had said.

"What are you doing? Learning him the finer ropes of being a good detective?" Alex teased as she came back from the kitchen. She sat down on the floor next to Bobby.

"No, and we're not gonna tell you, are we Michael. It's our secret. " Bobby lifted him up, holding him in the air, he 'flew' Michael into Alex' arms.

She watched Bobby for a moment. It was the first time since his arrival that she'd seen him smile. He was good with kids. There was a gentleness in him that you wouldn't expect from such a tall man who could sometimes be so clumsy. She knew it all to be a façade, a way to keep people on their toes. She knew it was also a way to avoid people from getting too close.

"He's great, Alex."

"Yeah, he is." She smiled, hugging Michael to her.

He wanted to ask her the question that was on his mind for a while now. Maybe this wasn't the right time, but he didn't know when that would be. "Is it hard to see him?" His voice was gentle.

For a second the pain was back in her eyes, but she quickly recovered. Ever since Michael was born, there would be an ache within her whenever she saw him. She learned quickly to hide it, knowing it would hurt her family. "Let's go eat, okay?" She said, changing the subject.

After dinner and putting Michael to bed they were alone again, sitting in the living room. Even though she'd closed the subject of Michael, Bobby wasn't going to let it go that easily. He wanted to know she could also count on him.

"I know it hurts you, Alex. I see it in your eyes." He started quietly. Alex's eyes darkened, warning him not to go any further. He to ignored it and continued. "You look so happy when you're with him. Your eyes get this look as if you want him to be yours. Is that true? Do you regret your decision to carry your sister's child?"

Alex ran a hand through her hair. She really didn't want to talk about this. It was hard and she'd never shared this with anyone, afraid of what they might think of her. She couldn't shut him out, not when he'd shared so much with her. "No, I don't regret being a surrogate mother for my sister. The whole experience was wonderful. Seeing the first pictures, feeling him kick for the first time… I wouldn't want to miss it." Repositioning herself on the couch, she took off her shoes and tucked her legs under her. "Giving him away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Her voice had grown softer.

"It was so difficult. On the one hand seeing the tears of joy in my sister's eyes when she held Michael for the first time was so wonderful and knowing that I'd been able to give him to them, filled my heart with joy. But that moment was short lived as I realized I had to give him away. That I would hardly be a part in his life. That I wouldn't be able to hold him at night or wouldn't see him take his first steps, or hear him talk for the first time. " She was quiet for a moment, picking at one of Michael's toys on the couch. "Sometimes I feel guilty because I want him to be mine. Cassie and Jake are wonderful parents. When I see my sister with him I sometimes get jealous. I get mad at myself for feeling that way. I know she doesn't deserve that, but I can't help myself. I've always wanted children when the time felt right. David died before that. After his death I never expected to marry again, didn't even think about children. During and after the pregnancy I realized that.." She choked up. This was something she hadn't shared with anyone before. She felt the tears threatening to fall, but fought them back. She didn't want Bobby to see her like that.

"What did you realize?" His voice was suddenly closer than before. Without having to look up she knew he was right in front of the couch.

"It's just…what if this was my last chance? What if I never have children again and the one that I had, I had to give away? What if I'm never going to feel a life growing inside of me again? I never expected it to be like this. I always thought…" She left her thoughts unfinished. "I'm not getting any younger. This might have been my only chance." Her voice was a mere whisper.

Bobby couldn't see her eyes, but heard the pain in her voice. She had her head in her hands and with her hair in front of her face he couldn't make out her face. He dropped to his knees. Gentle he cupped her face in both his hands, lifting it so he could see her eyes. "Oooh, Alex." He whispered as he saw the raw pain in her eyes and the tears slide down her cheeks. "Come here." He pulled her to him, enveloping her in his embrace, hoping it would at least give her some comfort.

TBC...