Janet opened the door. "Sam"
"Janet, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sam this isn't really a good time."
"Oh" Sam's face fell and Janet noticed the dark circles under her eyes.
"Something is wrong." Janet was concerned.
"I'm all right." Sam bit her lip "I'm just a little confused, everything's getting so complicated. I don't know what to do."
"Okay" Janet gave in. "look, why don't you come in and I'll get some clothes on and we can go somewhere to talk."
"What about Cassie?" Sam asked.
"She's at a friend's house."
Sam was starting to put two and two together. "Do you have company?"
Janet grimaced.
"You do," Sam shook her head "I can go."
"Sam I may be your friend but I'm also your doctor. I'll tell him I have an emergency with a patient."
"Janet you can't…"
"Yes I can" Janet interrupted. "He'll be here when I get back" Janet went to get dressed.
Sam sat down on the couch to wait and felt something underneath her. She stood up and saw a shirt on the couch. She picked it up and absently noticed it looked just like one of Daniel's as she draped it over the back of the couch. She squinted as a dark spot caught her eye. Daniel was forever getting ink spots in his shirts from his seemingly endless supply of leaking ball point pens.
Sam traced the stain with her finger. It couldn't be possible, but she could have sworn… She looked down the hallway after Janet. Sam shook her head. She couldn't be thinking what she was thinking. It was ridiculous; it was Daniel for crying out loud, and Janet was her best friend.
Sam told herself she was just going to Cassie's room. That she just wanted to stand in the girl's doorway. That being around Cassie's things would make her feel better, like it always did.
Sofound herself standing perfectly still and silent outside the teenager's empty room. Staring blankly at a movie poster and holding the stuffed dog Jack had given Cass for her thirteenth birthday -even though Janet warned him she was getting too old for stuffed animals- as she listened to her husband's voice on the other side of the wall. Sam stood there listening to the voices say words she couldn't understand through the wall, in tone's she hadn't heard or used in a very long time.
Sam was down the hallway and opening the door when Janet caught her sneaking out.
"Sam?" Janet was worried"Where are you going?"
Sam didn't turn around. "I decided not to spoil your little sleepover after all" Sam said coldly.
Janet winced. "Sam I told you it's okay. I'm here for you."
Sam held onto the door with a death grip and looked up at Janet, who was caught off guard by the coldness in her eyes.
"Be here for Daniel" Sam said with disgust, letting the door slam shut behind her.
Sam drove home on autopilot, opened her door mindlessly and locked it behind her. She sat down woodenly on the couch. She knew she should be feeling something. Pain, anger, blind rage… anything. Sam looked down at her right hand and saw she was still holding Cassie's puppy.
Janet had told Jack about Cassie's desire to be treated like a 'grown up'. Sam had bought her clothes; Daniel had gone for a DVD, Teal'c had pitched in with Janet for rollerblades. But Jack had insisted on buying the stuffed dog. He had said Cassie would like it anyway. Janet had shot Sam her forbearing look behind Jack's back and Sam had given Janet her he-is-such-a-kid look.
And when Cassie had seen the puppy she had smiled so wide Sam thought her face was going to break. She couldn't get over how soft it was and grinned at Jack like it was a special secret between them. Jack had been the only one allowed to 'treat her like a baby'. Cassie had slept with the little stuffed dog ever since.
Sam clutched the dog to her chest and gave into the urge to scream. She screamed until she was afraid the neighbors would hear. She screamed until she was exhausted enough to cry. And she fell asleep on the couch, with the puppy in her arms.