Everyone stared up at Cordelia. Seriously, what is with us and the staring?

"Hello? Is anyone gonna answer my question? I wake up and all of Sunnydale has situated itself here. Buffy and her group of freaks. Has the Bronze been moved into the basement?" Cordy walks down the stairs smiling as we all continue to gawk at her.

When she gets to the bottom of the stairs, everyone seems to snap out of their temporary funk. "Cordy!" Angel practically yells, moving toward her. Right before he's about to hug her, she steps back a little bit.

"Wait, hold on. It's not that I'm not happy to see you, but touching right now is kinda weird for me… can we just hold off on the hugging for now?" She gives Angel an apologetic look and smiles warmly at him. Uhh, gag me.

"Yeah," he whispers, smiling at her. He's definitely in love with her. If you couldn't tell before, the look in his eyes now gives everything away. I look over at B, the word love automatically bringing me to her. I look away quickly, though, when I see that she isn't even looking at them. She's looking at me. Don't, B. You made your choice. I'm barely functioning right now. Don't make it harder for me.

"Cordelia, I can't tell you how pleased I am to see you're awake," Wes says, smiling for the first time since we got here.

Cordelia just smiles at the LA crew. They're all so caught up in each other, it's like they forget we're here. It's a big, fucking, smiling group. At least Lorne hasn't started singing. He's being strangely quiet, sipping his drink and smiling. I think he's just drunk. I wish I was drunk. That'd make this easier.

"Um, not to break up this touching moment, but how are you Queen C? You've just come out of a coma. Do you feel wobbly or anything?" Xander asks. Cordelia looks at him. Her smile gets impossibly huge.

"Xander, when I was thinking that you wouldn't have a decent job, I never expected you to be a pirate. Do you have a neat ship and everything?" I'd want to kick her ass for saying that, but she's obviously joking. I don't know why I even care if she insults Xander. He just insulted me less than a minute ago.

"Actually," he chuckles, "it's real. Got my eye gouged out about a week ago. The pirate thing would be cool, though."

"Well, it's good to see you're taking it so well." She smiles, but then gets a serious look on her face. "I'm sorry Xand. Your eyes were what I loved most... the only thing I liked."

Everyone gets quiet again. I have to break the silence. Quiet lets me think about how I'm falling apart inside. I need distractions. "So, Cor, since the last time I saw you, you weren't you and all, are you really as pissed at me as you seemed then?" I give her a little smirk.

"Well, normally I would be. But on account of the fact that my demon self tried to kill you on multiple occasions while you were here, I'm gonna let bygones be bygones." She grins at me and then looks around at everyone else. Who is this chick in place of Cordelia? Where's the bitch we all know and tolerate? "While we're on the subject of apologies, I just want to give a big fat one for what I did while I was a demon."

"Cordy, that wasn't-" Angel tries to interrupt.

"I know. But… it was still my body. It was like me doing it. I just need to do this, OK?" Her eyes get watery and she gives a pleading little smile at Angel. Stop with the fucking smiling! "Willow, Gunn, Fred, and Angel. I'm so sorry. I tried to kill you all, and thank God I didn't succeed. Then, I'd be feeling a lot worse than I am now…" She chuckles. "Wes," Cordelia whispers, turning to face Wesley. "I'm so sorry for what I did. What I did to her… what I made you do to her. I'd fix it if I could, but I know I can't. Just, please, know that I'm sorry?"

"It wasn't your fault, Cordelia. That wasn't how I wanted it to go, but I didn't love her. We weren't together anyway."

Cordelia gets a hard look on her face and then looks away. The silence is once again broken, but this time it's from across the room.

"What about me?" Connor asks, his voice bitter and hurt. I know the feeling, kid.

"Connor, I didn't see you there." Cordelia has the decency to look slightly ashamed.

"Yeah, I noticed. Did what happened with us mean anything to you? What I gave up for you?"

"Connor," she says slowly, easing toward him. "That wasn't me. The last time I was really here was right when you had come here. You weren't with me when all of that stuff happened."

"Fine! Say what you want! I know what really happened." He gets up and storms out of the hotel. Jesus, he's SUCH a drama queen!

"Well that went well," Cordy jokes weakly. Then she starts to sway a little. "I don't feel so good." She adds, moving over to the couch and sitting down.

"Do you need anything?" Angel asks, almost touching her but then moving away. I guess he remembered that no touching rule.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need some water." Fred brings her a bottle of water, and then Cordy says, "You do have some problems, though. I was woken up by a vision… it was of all of you guys. There was a big fight, and a gigantic demon. Big, slimy, with horns in its head. He said that there were consequences. It didn't look good… the fight, I mean. Obviously the demon wouldn't be winning any pageants."

"Wait, if you saw the vision with all of us in it, why were you so shocked when you saw us? You knew we were gonna be here," Willow asks suspiciously. I guess she's still feeling pissed. I don't remember her ever giving Cordelia some attitude. But hey, this isn't the same Red that I used to know.

"Fine, you got me," Cordelia smiles. "I was just making an entrance. You know how it is… I AM an actress, after all."

"It's so good to have you back, Cordy," Fred says, and I think her mouth may fall off, she's smiling so big.

"It's good to be back," Cordelia answers, smiling at the whole group. I have to break this moment up. It's sickening. I need to be by myself right now.

"Not to be the scrooge, or anything, but are we done now? This scene is really not my thing. I'm outta here." I give everyone a look like I couldn't care less, avoiding Buffy's general area, and then walk up the stairs. I need a cigarette.

So this is what I've been reduced to. All the things that have happened in my life, and I find myself bawling over a chick like the pussy that I've become.

Except this isn't just a chick. This is Buffy fucking Summers. My universe. My heart. The girl that gave me hope in prison. The girl that I got up for every day, hoping that one day I'd be able to make it up to her. I used to dream about B. My first day in Sunnydale, I dreamt about her hot little body and the many ways that I wanted to fuck it. Each night the dreams got sexier, hotter, and more graphic.

As the weeks passed, though, I started to get to know B better. I saw how beautiful she was. She gave up everything for the people she loved. She was passionate and funny, and it seemed like she was a genuinely sweet person. I haven't met too many of those in my life. The dreams slowly started to change from fucking, to sex, to, dare I say it? Making love. Or at least, what I think making love is. I've only ever seen it in movies that I used to sneak into in Boston. There were roses, champagne, candles, and a Boyz II Men CD. If those things mean we're making love, then that's what B and me did in my dream.

I fell in love with her. God, I wish I hadn't. I wish that I had just stayed wanting to fuck her. It's brought me nothing but pain. Loving her made me crazy. It ruined my life. Now, it's broken my heart, and I honestly don't think I'll ever be OK again. That I'll ever recover from this. I was given a taste of what I wanted more than anything. Now it's been ripped away from me before I could really get a chance to enjoy it. For one day, B loved me. Or at least, I want to think that she did. When we were together all night, I want to believe that she did love me. That she wasn't lying when she said it. I don't know if I can, though. I think I would have been better off never knowing what it was like to be with B. But now, I'm just in the worst fucking state that I could possibly be in.

In the last hour, I've considered murder, running away, revenge, and just offing myself. Christ, was I wrong to think my suicidal tendencies was a thing of the past. Now, I'm too depressed to move myself off this goddamn bed, let alone kill myself. I'm thinking that I may just lay here until I waste away. Until I starve to death and turn into a pile of bones, eventually turning to dust. That'd be poetic, huh? The Slayer turning to dust. They could use my ashes as confetti… fuck, what the hell am I saying?

The main reason I don't want to kill myself, though, is that it could possibly allow B to prove my theory that she wouldn't give a shit if I died. Why should she? She doesn't even care that she's killing me now.

My depressing-as-shit thoughts are cut off by my vamp tingle and a knock at my door. Great, it's Angel. I really don't want to deal with him right now. Him and his stupid fucking pep talks. I stay silent, holding my breath to see if he'll just leave.

He doesn't though, and just opens the door and walks right in. He closes the door and leans against it. "Why didn't you answer?"

"Because I don't want to talk to you," I answer, not bothering to lift my face from the pillow.

"Oh. That's what I thought." Angel then proceeds to completely invade my fucking space and sits next to me on the bed. Then I don't even know what to think when he starts rubbing circles on the center of my back.

"Angel, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Um," he says, not seeming to know either. "I'm comforting you?"

"Yeah, that's not really necessary."

"Fine." He takes his hand off of me. "But you still need to be comforted."

"It's nothing," I say, not taking my face out of the pillow so I don't have to look at him while I blatantly lie to him. Having him only see my back makes it easier.

"Yeah, and Buffy and me only had a short, meaningless fling." I flinch at her name. "Sorry, wrong example." Then he lifts me up off the bed and sits me upright.

"You're lucky I'm depressed," I say, looking at him for the first time since he came in. "Cause normally, I would've kicked your ass for that."

"I'm also lucky you're so tiny. Do you even eat?"

"Hey! I am NOT tiny. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" Then I notice the smirk on his face. "Asshole."

"Psycho."

"Blood sucker."

"Girl."

"Girl?" I look at him. "That's the best you can do? That's like, the lamest insult known to man. I didn't know you were even capable of coming up with something so entirely lame."

"Well, I'm a pretty lame guy," he says, with the blankest, dullest expression I ever seen.

I start cracking up and Angel starts laughing with me too. I laugh so hard that tears start rolling down my cheeks. Somewhere, though, the tears turn into real crying and I start sobbing hysterically. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Why does this guy always have to be around when I have emotional breakdowns?

I gasp and cry, my whole body shaking violently. Angel leans down and gathers me into his arms. I don't even try to fight him. He's right. I'm a wreck right now and I need comfort. I need someone to care about me.

"Shh, it's okay," he murmurs into my hair, kissing my head. "It's okay, just let it out. It's alright." He rocks me back and forth while I completely soak his shirt with my tears. Finally, when I'm done bawling my eyes out, I pull back, wiping my eyes and face, trying to pull myself together.

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"Don't mention it, Faith. That's why I'm here. I came up here to make you feel better."

"Really?" I lean myself up against my shattered headboard. God, why did I have to think that? "You got anything to fix my heart too?" I ask, my voice tearing and cracking at the word "heart".

"She really hurt you, didn't she?" Angel's got the most sympathetic look on his face. It makes me want to tell him everything.

"More than I thought she ever could. She made me happier than I've ever been, so it makes sense that taking that away would hurt me more than I've ever been hurt."

Angel looks down like he's in serious thought, then he says, "Some things, while they may not seem like it now, are good for us. I wanted you and Buffy to work, I really did, but sometimes things just aren't meant to be. So now, you can wallow in misery, or you can take something from this. You can take closure. Maybe now you can move past this fixation you've always had with Buffy and learn to be happy with someone else."

"I wish it were that easy… but don't think it is. I don't think I could ever be happier than I was with B. Now? I'm just gonna be comparing everyone I'm ever with to Buffy. They'll never make me feel like she did. Never make me feel so good."

"Yeah," he says, blushing. How the hell can he do that? "I heard how good she made you feel last night."

"You perv! You were listening to us?"

"No! It's just, you guys were so loud I couldn't help but hear."

"We weren't that loud!" We were not!

"OK, maybe not for everyone, but I have vamp hearing and everything."

"Well, if you knew she was with me, why did you let everyone go looking for her?"

"I wasn't going to let them!" He yells, getting pretty defensive. "I don't know. I went to warn you guys… but I didn't." No shit. He looks confused now, like he's trying to figure something out. "I don't know what happened. I can't remember. I walked up the stairs, but then it all gets fuzzy and I don't know what I did. I just remember ending up downstairs with the group when you came down." Weird. I don't give a shit.

"Whatever, it's OK. What's done is done. Shit happens. I just need to suck it up, stop being a pussy, and get over her."

"That's the spirit. We're researching Cordy's vision downstairs. Want to help?"

"Sure, I'll be down in a minute." He smiles and gets up to open the door. "Oh, and Angel?" He stops walking and turns to me. "Thanks. It hurts a little less now." He smiles, nods, and then leaves the room. I take the opportunity to cry a little more. Then, I pull myself together and go downstairs.

No POV:

The gang sits around the research table, doing what else? Researching. Everyone was pretty spaced out around the desk, and the tension among the group was obvious. Buffy would look over at Faith occasionally, who had given up even pretending to research and was staring at a fixed spot on the wall. Angel occasionally glanced at Faith, his eyes filled with compassion, but most of his attention was focused on Cordelia, who hadn't taken her eyes off of Wesley once since they sat down.

Wesley looked over at Cordelia, noticing her gaze on him. "Cordelia, is there something that I can help you with?"

"No, no. I was just wondering, how are you, Wes? You seem a little… tense."

"Yes, well, this is a rather tense situation. It's important to figure out how you awoke and what these consequences are."

Cordy laughed. "Come on, do you people have to question everything? Don't look a gift-horse in the mouth, for God's sake."

The group looked up at Cordelia curiously. She quickly amended, "That came out wrong. I just mean, be happy I'm back, and things are calming down for right now. Let's not make it into something that we question too much. I f you analyze it so much, it won't be a good thing anymore."

"Cordy," Angel said. "I understand where you're coming from, but it's important that we figure out what the powers are trying to tell us. You were woken up by a vision, so we can't ignore it. You should know that."

"You're right, you're right," Cordelia said. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little out of it. I'm not thinking straight. I guess that's a side effect of the coma. And don't you get used to me saying you're right, Mister. It won't be happening often." Cordelia grinned warmly at Angel, and then went back to reading her book.

The group went back to their researching. After a while, a tapping distracted Willow, causing her to look up. The noise was coming from Faith, who was rhythmically hitting her foot against the table.

"Would you stop it?" Willow snapped. "It's super annoying. Do you think it would be possible for you to actually give a crap about someone other than yourself and help us research?"

Faith held back her biting retort, and instead replied, "You know me, Red. The researching part was never really my thing. I was only good at the kicking-ass part."

"Yeah, I guess I'd forgotten," Willow said sarcastically. She looked back down at her book and muttered under her breath, "I shouldn't be surprised, though. She probably can't even read."

Faith looked up, her slayer hearing allowing her to catch the remark. "You got a problem. Red? Actually, I know you do. It's getting fucking annoying. Can you just get it all out, or get over it, and grow the fuck up? You're frustrating the hell out of me."

"Fine, you want to know what my problem is? I'll tell you. You-"

"STOP IT!" Dawn suddenly yelled, cutting Willow off. "I'm sick of you two. If you have problems, work them out on your own time. Stop dragging everyone else into it and making us listen to you whine and bitch at each other."

Faith looked to see Buffy's reaction. When the blonde didn't look up or act like she was going to choose sides, Faith gave her a disgusted look and then pushed her chair back, standing up.

"Fine," she said. "Obviously I'm not needed or wanted here. You can all have fun researching without me."

Faith started to walk away when Buffy jumped up from her chair, grabbing Faith's shoulder to stop her from leaving. "Faith, wait. We do need you here." Buffy then whispered so quietly that only Faith could hear her, "I want you here."

Faith didn't turn around, but growled out lowly, "Take your fucking hand off me, Buffy." The whole table watched their interaction, trying to decide what they thought was going on between the two slayers.

Faith opened her mouth to say something else when her eyes suddenly glowed yellow. When they returned to their normal light brown color, she shrugged Buffy's hand off of her shoulder and said, "What happened wasn't your fault. And I'm willing to testify to that, in court, if you need me."

Faith turned around and looked at Buffy, who crossed her arms and smirked at Faith. "You'd dig that, wouldn't you? To get up in front of all your geek pals and go on record about how I made you my boy-toy for a night."

Xander stared on horrified as the rest of the group looked at each other questioningly, trying to figure out what was going on.

"What are they talking about?" Dawn asked Giles, looking back and forth between the display in front of her and the bewildered watcher.

"I haven't a clue," Giles said, never looking away from Buffy and Faith.

"No, no that's not it…" Faith said, shaking her head.

"I know what this is all about," Buffy purred, closing in until she was right in front of Faith. "You just came by here cause you want another taste, don't you?"

"No! I mean, it was nice. It was great. It was kind of a blur. But, okay, some day, sure, yay, but not now. Not like this."

"More like how, then?" Buffy asked, running her fingertips along Faith's cleavage, "Lights on or off? Kinks or vanilla?"

"Faith, come on!" Faith said sharply, jerking Buffy away from her. "I came here to help you. I thought we had a connection." Faith searched Buffy's eyes, but all she got was an amused laugh from Buffy.

"I don't think they know what they're saying," Wesley said.

"I think they're in some kind of trance," Angel added. "Like they're acting this whole scene out, or something."

"BUFFY!" Willow yelled, trying her best to get Buffy's attention. Buffy didn't even seem to notice Willow, instead focusing all of her attention on Faith. "This is definitely not of the good."

The gang turned their attention back to the slayers when they heard Buffy laugh. They all jumped back from the table when Buffy suddenly grabbed Faith by the front of her shirt, turned, and threw Faith onto the research table, knocking the open books off of the table and onto the floor.

"BUFFY, NO!" Giles yelled, moving to stop Buffy from doing anymore damage. Some invisible force threw him back, though. Angel then attempted to move toward Buffy also, but he couldn't reach her because he was thrown back also.

Buffy jumped onto Faith, straddling her. "You wanna feel a connection? It's just skin." Buffy rubbed her hands over Faith's breasts and stomach. "I see. I want. I take," Buffy said, and then reached down, kissing Faith hard. "I forget."

"No. No, wait. It was more than that," Faith said, shaking her head in denial.

Buffy ground more roughly into Faith's hips and moved her hands underneath her top. She groped roughly at Faith as she said, "I could do anything to you right now, and you'd want me to. I could make you scream."

Buffy writhed on top of Faith, kissing her wettly and then licking the side of her face. Buffy moved her hands higher under Faith's top and onto her neck, resting them there. "I could make you die," she whispered. Buffy kissed Faith again, sloppily and hungrily. She tugged at Faith's bottom lip, pulling back, and then kissed her again before pulling back slowly, pushing down on Faith's neck.

"Buffy, stop! What are you doing? STOP!" Dawn screamed.

Giles, Angel, Gunn, Kennedy, and Wesley all tried to move forward, but were once again thrown back. Everyone looked on, horrified, as Buffy strangled Faith, who couldn't dislodge Buffy's hands. Willow began chanting, trying to break the barrier with magic, but before she had a chance, Buffy was suddenly thrown off of Faith and onto the floor.

Faith gasped and held her throat as Buffy sat up slowly and looked around at the stunned group. "Oh God," she gasped, tears filling her eyes. "What was that?"