Author: Niki
Title: Make Me Forget- Chapter 11/13
Pairing: Faith/Buffy all the way. Though there is some Faith/Wood for a while and mentions of other Faith pairings.
Summary: After the collapse of Sunnydale, Buffy and Faith begin to get closer than anyone knows. Problems arise, though, when Faith's actions from the past literally come back to haunt her.
Rating: NC-17, baby. But no smut in this chapter… sorry!
Disclaimer: Yeah, these aren't mine, they're Joss's, but I think you already knew that.
Note: Thanks again for feed back. Let me know what you think. More feedback, pleeeaassee. By the way, I hate this chapter….. tell me if you hate it too. Or make me feel better about it.
Note 2: This is slightly AU in the Angelverse. Angel somehow got the necklace to give to Buffy earlier on, and they are still dealing with the Cordelia mess. No Wolfram and Hart offer.
Note 3: Will it never end? How do I still have 2 chapters left of this fucker?
No POV:
"Doesn't ANYONE stay dead?" Angel asked, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Oh, I'm dead, alright." Lilah pulled herself off the ground and dusted her pants.
"And who might this be?" Giles asked.
"Lilah Morgan," Wesley said.
"The bane of my existence…" Angel muttered under his breath.
"And that's supposed to mean what to me? Who the hell is she?" Buffy snapped.
"Lilah was a very important lawyer at Wolfram and Hart, the law firm that we've been having an on-going battle with for the past four years. Lilah took a particular interest in making Angel's life quite difficult," Wesley explained.
"Aw, that's all you have to say about me, Wes?" Lilah asked, smirking.
"Lilah was recently killed… at the hands of the demon-possessed Cordelia."
"She was possessed, huh? Just when I was starting to think she had some balls…"
"Lilah, could we do without the commentary?" Angel snapped.
"Angel, sweetie, why am I getting the feeling that you're not happy to see me?"
"Maybe cause I'm not," Angel answered.
"OK! Enough of this bullshit!" Buffy yelled. "Listen you smug bitch, I don't know you, and I really don't want to know you. All I want to know if what the hell you've done to Faith!"
Lilah laughed. "Well, you're a feisty one, aren't you? No wonder you died so many times. And please, do you really think I'm going to tell you anything?"
Willow quickly muttered an incantation under her breath and then asked, "Lilah, how much do you weigh?"
"One-hundred and thirty-two pounds… shit! You put me under a TRUTH spell?"
"Thanks, Willow," Angel said, smirking. "Now, why don't you take a seat, Lilah. We're obviously not going to let you go, so it would probably be in your best interest to cooperate."
Lilah huffed and made her way back over to the chair she'd been sitting in when she still looked like Cordelia. "Fine, what do you want to know? I don't really think you can do much now, anyway."
"Yeah, we'll see about that." Angel pulled a chair up in front of Lilah, then sat down. Buffy walked over and stood beside Lilah's chair, leaning over her. The rest of the group crowded around to listen to the interrogation.
"Lilah, how have you been impersonating Cordelia this whole time, and are you, in fact, Lilah Morgan?"
"Yes, I'm Lilah," she bit out icily. "I'm a corporeal manifestation of my formal self. I am dead, after all. But the spirit, personality, brain, it's all me. A masking spell was put on everyone so that you wouldn't be able to tell that I wasn't Cordelia. It also… clouds your judgment, not letting you realize as much if I did something out of character for Cordelia. The spell can be broken, however, if anyone comes in physical contact with me. That's why you can see me now." Lilah rolled her eyes and sighed. "I can't believe I'm just spilling all this information like this."
"It's a pretty good spell," Willow said sarcastically.
"Alright, let's get back to the matter at hand." Giles turned back to Lilah. "Lilah, is it? Why have you come back?"
"I didn't just decide to come back. My contract with Wolfram and Hart is for all eternity. That includes after my death." Wesley snorted, causing Lilah to stop and look at him, smirking. "As I was saying, Wolfram and Hart decided that they needed me. They came to Hell, got my soul, gave me physical form, put the spell on all of you, and then sent me here."
"Why did they need you, exactly?"
"Well, they needed someone to be in here, watching you all. Cordelia seemed like the best option. I spent enough time with her in the past that I could imitate her to a certain point. That's when the spell came in handy."
"You're the one that messed with my head… yesterday morning. When I was going up to Faith's room," Angel muttered, shaking his head as he put the pieces together.
"Catching on now, are we?" Lilah asked.
"What have Wolfram and Hart been doing to Faith?" Buffy asked impatiently.
"We've been placing everything that could mess with her head on display for all to see. All these re-enactments of her most… unstable moments… We have them all stored in files. We just needed to pick through them all and decide what would work best."
"Work best for what?"
"They had to be her experiences so that she would feel like you all saw how crazy she really is. Then, we just put her in the role of the most emotionally distraught person in each instance, and let it play out. Her emotions have been intensified a little bit, also…"
"What's that do to her?" Buffy growled.
"What do you think?" Lilah asked, looking at Buffy as if she were brain dead. "All the feelings that were going on at each of those times, she's feeling them all right now, only more intensely. She can't differentiate between what she really feels and what she was acting out. In simple terms that you might understand, she's going crazy."
Tears rolled down Buffy's cheeks as she listened to Lilah relay Faith's experience. Buffy felt guilt welling up inside, filling her up and then spilling over the brim in the form of tears.
"Um, I have a question," Fred piped up from the back. "I was up in Cordelia's room earlier. The one we were keeping her comatose body in. Where's the real Cordelia?"
"If you hurt her…" Angel growled.
"Relax. She's fine. She's resting in a medical area at Wolfram and Hart. It seemed prudent to keep her alive… just in case. You understand, I'm sure."
"Why?" Buffy asked. "Why do they want to hurt Faith? What's the point in all this?"
"Well, she doesn't exactly have a great history with us, in the first place. She was hired to kill Angel and never went through with. The main reason, though, is a little less petty. There's a prophecy. The end of the Senior Partners' power is prophesized to happen at some point in the relatively near future. The catalyst of the events leading up to this is a Slayer. A Slayer that has known us and has touched the root of our power, only to reject both. Considering we've only made deals with one Slayer, it's safe to say that it's talking about Faith. Wolfram and Hart had to get rid of her."
"What? You thought if you made her crazy enough, we'd kill her?" Buffy asked sarcastically.
"We were actually hoping she'd kill herself. The plan's going well, don't you think?"
Buffy once again lunged at Lilah, only to once again be grabbed by Angel. "Buffy! Will you please STOP?"
"How do we stop this, Lilah?" Angel asked, still holding a furious Buffy in his arms.
"I don't know."
"Willow, why is she able to lie again?"
"She's not able to lie again. I really don't know," Lilah answered for Willow.
"OK," Angel sighed, letting Buffy go once she had finally calmed down. "Someone find some chains or something. Let's lock her up and-"
"Actually, Angel," Wesley cut him off. "May I have a word with Lilah?" Wesley didn't wait for an answer and grabbed Lilah's hand, dragging her into Angel's office.
He stopped before he closed the door and yelled, "Willow, do that locator spell. Quickly, if possible."
Angel found Buffy sitting outside the Hyperion on the steps, her knees up against her chest and her eyes staring at a spot on the sidewalk. When she heard him sit down, she quietly asked, "Angel, are you disgusted with me?"
Angel looked at her pointedly. "Buffy, do you have any idea what you did to her?"
"I'm starting to get it, now," Buffy whispered, not taking her eyes off the pavement.
"I think you realize that Faith has a lot of issues with trusting people. In fact, a lot is an understatement. Everyone that's ever been important to her has betrayed her. She trusted you, Buffy, which I don't really think she should have."
"Angel, I love her. I was just… scared."
"What of?" He asked, turning to her. "Scared of getting that love and happiness that you've always longed for? Scared of what your friends, who I might add have no room to judge, might think? Buffy, since when have you ever cared what people thought? No one thought you should be with ME."
"And they were right," Buffy answered, now turning to face him.
"Alright, bad example. But you've always done things your way, Buffy. That's part of what makes you so great. If you want this to work out with Faith, then why are you running from it?"
Buffy stared back at the ground, thinking over Angel's question.
"BUFFY! I FOUND HER!" Willow suddenly yelled from the lobby. Buffy and Angel got up and rushed in. "I don't know this address. Angel?"
Angel quickly looked down at the map. "That's the building that's where out of office used to be. OK, she has a head start. We need to get there fast."
"We can teleport," Willow suggested.
"I'll go," Buffy quickly said.
"Are you sure, Buffy? Are you sure you can handle Faith right now?" Giles asked.
"I'm the only one that can handle Faith right now." Buffy then looked around at the group and finally settled her eyes on Angel. "Besides, I'm through running."
Angel grinned and then clapped his hands together. "Alright, you heard her. Let's roll."
Buffy materialized on the roof of a tall building. She could feel the breeze blowing her hair and hear the sirens of cop cars miles away. The peace of the roof was disturbed, though, by the smell of cigarette smoke and the sound of crying.
Buffy looked to her right and saw Faith stubbing out a cigarette. She then started to climb the high wall up to the ledge.
"Faith, don't do it!"
Faith stopped moving for several moments and then climbed down. She turned to look at Buffy slowly, and the pained look on Faith's face nearly made Buffy take a step back. She could see the tears running down the dark slayer's face.
"Really, B. As much effort as I'm sure you put into finding me, it's wasn't worth it. Leave me alone."
"Faith, really. Let's talk for a while. You've got all the time in the world to kill yourself."
"What is there to talk about, B? We've said and done all we need to."
"We've said a lot, yeah, but none of it was what we needed to say."
"And what would that be?"
"Faith, you don't need to do this. This is really unnecessary. We can work out all these problems. What you want to do is REALLY permanent."
"You don't understand, Buffy!" Faith shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "I can't feel like this! I can't feel this pain… this torture. I don't know what's me… some of it's me now, some of it's me then, some of it's not even me at all! I can't…"
Buffy tried to walk closer as Faith continued crying. "Faith, I can explain it all… I can tell you what's happening. Please, just calm down. Please listen to me."
"Listen to you? Listen to you tell me you love me again? All you do is LIE!" At Faith's yell, Buffy stopped moving closer. "Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. I trust you less than I trust myself, which is pretty fucking bad, cause I don't trust myself at all!"
"Faith, I'm not lying to you. I haven't lied to you about anything. I want you to trust me… Faith, I've gained all of my trust back in you. Do the same for me. Please"
"You trust me? Why do I find THAT pretty fucking hard to believe?"
"Why shouldn't I trust you, Faith?" Buffy asked.
"I'm a murderer, Buffy!" Faith yelled, her voice suggesting that she couldn't believe Buffy could be so stupid. "I lie, I cheat, I've betrayed you. I tried to steal your boyfriends. I stole your body. You shouldn't fucking trust me!"
"That was a long time ago, Faith! We're different people now."
"I'M NOT! I'm still sick and crazy! I want to hurt you, B…"
"Faith, what you're feeling, it's not real."
Faith shook her head and laughed. "Buffy, it doesn't get any more real than this. I feel it all coursing through my veins. This need to hurt. To destroy."
"Fight it, Faith. You just have to fight it."
"I'm not strong enough. I never was. That's why I gave in before. I can't be that girl again. I have to stop myself before I don't care anymore."
"Faith, we can stop it together! This isn't the way!"
"Come on, B. Like this isn't what's best for everyone? No one has to worry about me going psycho anymore. I don't have to worry about what I might do. Who I might hurt. And you don't have to worry about feeling sorry for me. It's the best thing."
"Faith, I don't feel sorry for you." Buffy shook her head and laughed. "Right now, you feel sorry enough for yourself to cover all of us. What happened to the Faith I know? The Faith I'm in love with? The Faith I love doesn't just give up and pussy out whenever people don't like her or something doesn't go her way. She sticks it out and tells it to go fuck itself."
"I guess you never did love me, cause if you were in love with that bitch, I'm sad to say she was never me. I've always ran at the first sign of trouble. Don't you remember?"
"So change it, Faith. It doesn't have to be like this."
"Oh, I think it has to be exactly like this." Faith chuckled and wiped some of the tears from her eyes. They were quickly replaced by new ones. "Check us out, I guess these replays really are rubbing of on us."
Buffy smiled and started walking forward again very slowly. "Faith, Cordelia never woke up. It was that lawyer from Wolfram and Hart. Lilah. You remember her, right? She's been messing with your head. Making all of these things happen. She's intensified your emotions. She's trying to confuse you, and you're doing exactly what she wants. She wants you to kill yourself."
"Why are you telling me this?" Faith asked quietly.
"Because this is wrong, Faith. This isn't the answer."
Faith shook her head at Buffy's words. "Sorry, B. I gotta." Faith turned and climbed up on to the ledge again.
"God, Faith! PLEASE! Don't do this! Don't do this to me! Don't leave me…" Buffy trailed off as she began to sob and she could no longer talk from the lump in her throat.
Faith stopped climbing but didn't turn around. After a moment, she began climbing again. Just as she almost got to the top, she was pulled back by Buffy. They fell on the ground, Buffy on top of Faith.
"No!" Buffy yelled, tears still streaming down her face and onto Faith, who she straddled underneath her. "I'm done saying I'm sorry. I'm done begging. I'm stopping you now! Your choice is gone. I'm NOT letting you do this!"
"Get the fuck off of me, Buffy! I have to! Let GO." Faith struggled underneath her, but Buffy didn't let up her iron grip.
"Stop, Faith! Stop struggling. It's over. You're not doing this."
Faith's struggles started to die down as she cried. She gasped for breath and twisted under Buffy, no longer even seeming like she was trying to get away. As she finally stopped moving and began to sob, Buffy loosened her grip and put her arms behind Faith's back, pulling her up and hugging her tightly.
"Shh, Baby, it's gonna be OK. I'm here, I'm not leaving you. I promise." Buffy stroked Faith's hair as shook with her sobs, barely able to breathe.
"I still wanna hurt you, B," Faith managed to get out.
"I know, Baby. It's OK. I love you… we're gonna fix it. Just fight it for now."
Faith nodded her head against Buffy's shoulder as she continued crying. Her shakes began to stop and her breathing slowed after several minutes of Buffy slowly rocking her back and forth and stroking her hair.
"You really love me, Buffy?" Faith's strangled voice whispered.
"I really love you."
Faith lifted her head slowly from Buffy's shoulders. She looked into Buffy's tear-stained face that matched her own. "B, make all this stop. Get rid of all of it. Please… make me forget all of it."
"I will, Faith." Buffy kissed her lightly on the lips and pulled Faith back into her arms, slowly beginning to rock her again.