INCREDIBLY DELAYED OK

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It was the height of rudeness. The definition. It didn't need a picture in the dictionary though, because all it would show is the entrance to San d'Oria without any Wriith or Vernice. It could certainly have been the example, though. "It was very rude of Wriith and Vernice not to show up…"

Poiso's good mood, which he had gotten by causing a lot of pain and suffering a minute ago, was ruined. There was a rumbling noise…

Which could not be heard by those responsible for it, who were in their Mog house. They were lying on the bed, but this story is still rated PG-13 and I really don't want to imagine them naked so they were fully clothed, and were acting completely appropriately. But they were under the covers, and the atmosphere was totally romantic, I am sure.

"So," Said Wriith in his most romantic voice, which wasn't very good but Vernice liked it anyway, "What do you want to do now?"

"Hmm…" She thought a moment, and then looked in his eyes, excitedly beaming, "Let's go somewhere!"

He played with her hair. "Ah, but where? The choices are endless." He was wrong, but it was better than saying "The choices, there are around ten of them!"

"Hmm…" She said again. "We haven't been to Jueno in a while."

His smile faded a little, but not much because he was playing with her hair and he really enjoyed that. "I thought that was because we didn't like it much there. Too many people."

"Ah," She grinned, "But we may change our minds if we go again."

Wriith smiled at the great wisdom of this statement. He decided it was one of the wisest things he had ever heard, and satisfied himself by applying this wisdom to a girl he happened to be in bed with. They enjoyed the silence for a moment, but that didn't last long because the door exploded.

The smoke and dust hadn't cleared, but Wriith and Vernice could hear the pitter-pattering of little feet and an equally little voice ranting. They were annoyed. This had come to be behavior expected of the midget.

"That was the THIRD time I exploded during this trip! Guess how many times I exploded before it? That's right, two. Both were YOUR fault. And the stupid kid too, but I wouldn't have had to deal with him if it weren't for you in the first place."

The smoke cleared. Wriith saw that Poiso was standing on the bed, right next to him.

"And why not at least welcome me at the gate? YOU arranged the time for me to show up, why couldn't you stick with it yourself? Oh, well, I guess you couldn't really see the sun in BED with your GIRLFRIEND in your HOUSE. If I didn't like you with some small, singular fiber of my being I would hurt you right now…"

"I forgot," said Wriith simply. He got up, and if he weren't already wearing a shirt he would have put one on now. "Anyway, bye. We're going."

Poiso couldn't be more outraged than he already was, but he pretended he managed it anyway. "WHAT? Then why did you tell me to come HERE?"

"I'unno. I guess I figured you should spend more time here. Seeya." Vernice got up too, and together they waltzed out the door, literally, which was weird when people saw them so they stopped. Poiso was left there, bickering to himself and sometimes others, wreaking general destructive chaos within the kingdom.

---

Wriith forced a smile. It was not that he wished he wasn't on this trip, or that his girlfriend was boring him in any way, but the Bard, who came with the chocobos and the carriage, seemed a little too cheerful, and couldn't quite hit the highest note in the song he had been playing for the past hour. He had announced before that hour began that it was called the "Chocobo Theme." Wriith found that to be a strange name.

Another thing was that neither Wriith nor Vernice had heard of this desert between San d'Oria and Jueno. But it was as visually stunning as one would expect a Vana'diel desert to be. That is to say, it wasn't. It was mostly nauseatingly bumpy, except for the sudden, steep, impassible walls that seemed to form the boundaries of every area (except the more newly discovered ones.) But the bard, who also happened to somehow be the driver, seemed to be sympathetic about this. He had steered into a small canyon-like formation with boundaries of soothing, passable dunes.

Also happy that these dunes were so passable were the Tarutaru bandits on the other side. Their leader, who was at that moment fiddling with
his non-trustworthy type of long, bushy mustache, was having a good
day that day, and this wasn't only because someone finally ventured
into the area marked only on the map as 'Danger, bandits," but also
because the Vana'diel Tribune had finally written an article on him.
He couldn't read it, but he was sure it painted him as one of the
greatest criminal masterminds ever born. He grinned, showing the
gaps in his rows of teeth. He had wanted to say this all day.

"Onwards!"

A band of about 5 enthusiastic ruffians followed their leader,
scurrying along in an adorable charge. From the carriage, our
protagonistic couple could hear a giddy sort of squeal. They looked
to the source of this noise and were startled to see a motley crew of
Tarutarus were chasing after their carriage on foot. One stopped
running, began casting a spell, and suddenly all the bandits were
standing triumphantly in the carriage, taking up the empty seats next
to the bard. The bard did not react.

The bandit leader surveyed the scene. He wasn't expecting this to
simply be a carriage with a romantic couple, who were at this moment
beginning to collect their wits. He had to act fast. He pointed at
the bandit who cast the warp spell, and then at the bard, and
then outside the carriage, where of course the bard shortly was.
Opening his previously shut eyes and dropping his fiddle in surprise,
this musician came to realize he was in a bit of a jam. He turned to
face the carriage, which was now speeding away, out of control, and he
very probably didn't see anyone again for quite a long time.

The bandit leader maintained his cool composure despite the
unpredictability of his current situation.

"Hi there…" He said softly, pausing to glance at his partners in
crime, who were at this point in time all staring at our heroes. "I'm
Jed." His voice was lower than one would expect it to be, sounding
almost human. It was a polite voice, with a Bastokian accent, and
would have been quite charming in an unusual sort of way were it not
attached to someone who commonly threatened people's safety. Jed
decided to get to the point. "Pardon me if it seems too much to ask,
but it's my job, y'see. Have any of y'all got any valuables on you?"

Neither Wriith Nor Vernice did have anything valuable, since as a Monk
and White Mage they didn't have particular needs of weapons, and they
didn't figure they would need to bring any armor to this event. They
were beginning to regret that conclusion. They both shook their
heads. The carriage went over a rock, causing it to bump violently.
One of the Tarus shrieked.

Jed sighed. This area wasn't his best gig, he decided. The carriage
was about to go into a field of sharp, dangerous-looking rocks, so he
was to be off.

He pointed at a different bandit, who skillfully climbed over to the
front of the carriage where the Chocobos were.

"Well, I understand. Be seein' y'all, maybe." The bandit at the
front cut the ropes attached to the chocobos, and the bandits and
chocobos were all teleported away. The carriage continued to speed
toward the sharp rocks, which were looking more and more dangerous
every second. Wriith and Vernice were both too shocked to notice.
But unfortunately for them, that didn't change the fact that they were
crashing violently. They lost consciousness.