I forgot to mention: Jed's not real.
This will be the precursor to a slightly more serious storyline.
-----------------------------------------
SAN D'ORIA ATTACKED BY SHORT TERRORIST!
At least, that was the headline on the front page of the Tribune. It went on to describe a glorious battle between this terrorist, who seemed to be acting in pure rage, and the knights, in their infinite valor. Of course, the knights came out on top, defeating this great evil once and for all.
Rampart, however, wasn't buying it. He was there when it happened. Really, Poiso just became magically exhausted, and was then ambushed by the extremely frightened knights. And defeated was, from Poiso's point of view especially, a relative term in this case. He was told he was not welcome in any of civilized society, and was exiled. Poiso may very well have been happy of this.
But Rampart was not. Ever since the "attack" a week ago, Wriith and Vernice had been missing. Rampart, being the nice guy he was, was concerned for their well-being. The trouble was that Poiso, the only person who could very easily find them, was not easily accessible. Rampart was going to find help.
He was at Southern San d'Oria, looking at a clock tower on the inside eastern corner near the auction house that he hadn't noticed before. It was being rebuilt; half of the building was completely destroyed. In fact, the whole area was like that. For unknown reasons, the damage seemed to be the worst near the Mog Houses, and up north, it got more minor. Krie walked through the gate and saw Rampart.
"Hey, Ram." As usual, Krie looked indifferent and generally depressed.
"Oh, hey dude. Listen, I was going to go get a friend of mine to help me find Wriith-"
Krie's face lit up with an evil grin. "Wriith is in trouble?"
"Yes. Anyway, he'll hopefully help us find Wriith and Vernice-"
Krie's grin faded into open-mouthed terror. "Vernice is in trouble?" Unlike Rampart's, Krie's attraction to Vernice was no secret.
"Yeah dude, they've both been missing ever since this happened." He gestured towards the clock tower, where someone just dropped the replacement bell.
"What happened to Vernice?" Krie stepped forward and made a fist.
"…Uh, and Wriith, right? And furthermore, I obviously don't know."
Krie looked stunned for a moment, but then regained what little composure he had. "Ok. Who's this friend of yours?"
-----
Neth Regana, the CEO of the Vana'diel airline, sat back in his seat.
"Wow, Rampart, my friend… that's no small undertaking. It would cost…" He tried and failed to count on his fingers. "Well, it would cost a lot."
Krie, who was sitting alongside Rampart on the other side of Neth's desk, made his voice heard.
"How much would it cost?"
Neth was caught off guard by this question. He glanced at one of the delicate paintings on his office wall. Neth liked his office. He spent most of his days in there, and it was obvious he wanted it to stimulate his senses as much as possible. In one corner, there was a small waterfall, which led into a lagoon through his floor (there was a bridge between the desk and the door) inhabited by various species of rare fish, and on the end of this lagoon there was a hot springs, with an underwater wall so the fish didn't go and burn themselves. That was not the first thing most people noticed when they entered his office though, but this description has gone on too long already.
Neth leaned forward over his desk and seemed to evaluate Krie for a moment. "More than you." Krie made his voice dormant.
"Seriously. We're talking men flying airships dangerously low, which they would demand extra pay for, of course, and then the equipment to locate your friends, as well as people to operate it, not to mention people to defend the ship from the flying monsters that populate the airspace off the normal routes…"
Rampart looked into Neth's eyes. "You owe me."
"You're right. I'll make the arrangements."
-----
This wasn't quite what Rampart or Krie had expected. They thought they would be gently soaring through the sky, looking at a lot of people or something like that. Neth and the rest of his company were a bit smarter than that: They knew that would never work. Instead, they were on the lead ship of a fleet of ships. The ships were apparently experimental. All the machinery was under the deck, as were the places a person would reasonably be, since it was dangerously windy on the roof, due to the speed. They were on the roof.
That was the only place the machinery would work, which was designed to match and identify people based on a description of their physical appearance, apparent class (based on equipment), and linkshells in their possession. They were based on something called magical satellite technology, and looked like bowls with poles protruding out of them pointing at the ground. They, like the ships, were experimental. The ship's pilot and fleet's commander, a goblin calling himself Tim Smackdown, was explaining this to our current heroes over the sound of the wind and the engine, which were both quite loud.
"I'm not sure how they work, really, something to do with that newfangled sonar technology working together with our common magic, but I'm sure these guys understand it." He gestured towards the operators of the satellites, who thankfully all looked like they knew what they were doing. "But anyway they won't detect anything underground, underwater, or anywhere above us, but you shouldn't concern yourselves with that, they won't be underwater or above us, and if they have any survival skills at all they won't be underground, because we all know it's dangerous down there…"
A mountain zipped by, towering above them. It was unnerving how close by it felt.
"We'll be flying in a formation that allows us to get a perfect sweep of the areas we search. The satellites will see the area under and around every individual ship, and a good ways off the sides of the fleet. You shouldn't need to worry too much about all this though… let's get inside."
As soon as the airlock closed and the elevator to the bridge began its descent, Tim Smackdown put a cigar in his mouth, through an opening in his mask. "So we'll need a description of the people you are looking for, anyway." The elevator reached the bottom and the group walked on to the bridge.
Rampart spoke. "Well, Wriith looks exactly like that guy…"
Krie looked at the blonde, spiky haired, tall Elvaan in question. "Except a little more ugly."
Rampart pointed at a short Mithra with silver, short cut, jagged hair, and said she looked like Vernice. Krie added that Vernice wasn't as fat.
Rampart looked around. No one in this room looked like Poiso. "Be right back," He went in to the other room nearby, signaled someone, and came back with an average-sized Taru with brown, semi-spiky hair. This fellow looked like Poiso. He told Tim Smackdown their respective classes, and that they all had a linkshell called Hassloe's Brace.
Tim Smackdown nodded and said into his fleet linkshell: "Target A, type F, Target B, Type T, Target C, Type A." Rampart said something about how it would be nicest to find Poiso because he could find the other two easily. Tim Smackdown was unconcerned. It was his turn to fly. He relieved his co-pilot.
-----
Krie and Rampart had gone to the front of the ship, a fancy restaurant, which was now empty, and stood at the window, watching the world rapidly approach and then disappear behind them. The speed of the airship was quite staggering. It didn't seem like it could possibly take long to explore every inch of Vana'diel, and perhaps explore beyond. Krie leaned back on the window, facing the restaurant.
"Dude, that doesn't… look safe." Said Rampart.
The airship flew over a jungle.
Krie looked at him. "What could hurt me?"
The airship flew over a valley.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Hey…" He realized something. "Poiso didn't hurt a soul, did he?"
The airship flew over an area with patches of snow, which quickly turned into some snowy mountains.
Krie paused for a moment. "I don't think so, no. I didn't read about anything like that."
The airship flew over another valley.
Rampart chuckled. "I guess he still has a shred of love for society."
The airship flew over a very flat plain of pale green grass.
"No, I meant I didn't read the article. I don't know much about the whole thing."
Rampart looked at Krie, slightly surprised, slightly disgusted.
The airship flew over a dessert.
Tim Smackdown's voice could be heard over the fleet linkshell, which the pair had been given. "We've found one! Get to the exit, fellas."
They did. They couldn't see it from the room where the exit was, but the ship circled a few times to lose speed, and then slowly, carefully, landed next to the "target." The floor lowered from the center of the airship, and stopped when the presence of the ground would let it lower no more. Standing a few meters away, looking rather impressed at the ship, was Vernice. She was alone, and didn't look very thirsty or hungry, but had a rather large cut on her forehead. She ran towards the platform looking pleased.
"Ram!" She hugged him, coming at him so hard he had to pick her up and swing her around to keep them from both falling over. "Thank you, thank—oh." She saw Krie over Rampart's shoulder. "You." Tim Smackdown signaled the lift operator above. The platform began to rise.
This chapter of Vernice's life was in the book I promise we haven't forgotten about, Things to Watch Out for. In fact, her whole life was. Every detail. She had a long list of stalkers, and the book was on this list, and it also contained this list. Thousands of pages, out of millions, were all about Vernice. Also in the book is her journey back to the restaurant with Rampart and Krie, the way they sat around a table in the middle of the room, and her explanation of what had happened: she was kidnapped while unconscious by an Antica slaving party, they fed her just enough to live on, and she made a point to keep yelling and screaming. The Antica, with their adept, sensitive hearing, could not take this, although they had heard screaming before, this was way too much. So, they left her to die in the desert, and it was lucky that Rampart had shown up to save her so soon because she was about to have to start hunting and killing, and that was gross and she didn't want to do it.
The book, of course, mentions that Krie then said, "I am SO glad they didn't hurt you! Do you need ANYTHING at all? If you ever do, let me know, I'm here for you…"
Rampart, who was, by the way, was a Hume, put his hand on Krie's, also a Hume, shoulder, and said to Vernice, who was still a Mithra, "Come on, don't smother the poor girl with your misplaced worship… So, need anything? I'm here for you." Sorry, it's just that wasn't explained before, and that seemed like the worst possible time.
Vernice looked at Rampart and smiled. "No, I'm actually fine, thanks."
The airship had already taken off, Tim Smackdown had told them that Wriith did not seem to be in this dessert, and so they were off again. Landscapes zipped along under them. It was no less frightening than it was earlier. They all ignored the window.
"So, Poiso's exiled." Said Rampart.
Vernice was as surprised and you would probably expect her to be. "What?"
"He dealt a lot of damage to San d'Oria." He looked at the table. "And was told he wasn't welcome in any of civilization when he was… done."
Vernice shook her head and made a disgusted kind of noise as she exhaled. "Man, I hate that guy this week."
They couldn't ignore the window anymore, because from it there was a loud WHUMP. There was a man-sized red bird splattered against it. Tim Smackdown's voice was heard over the linkshell. "All those able to fight to the roof IMMEDIATLEY."
They arrived the elevator they had used before. There were a few fellows with rifles there. Clearly Neth had spared no expense on this mission. The door opened. One of the riflemen said, "The red carpet has teeth."
Rampart, Krie, and Vernice were all confused by that, but they were more concerned about the scene outside. An almost unbelievably large flock of the man-sized red birds was attacking the fleet. They could be seen in huge bunches around every ship, gradually tearing and pecking through the hulls, clawing and biting the other adventurers hired to defend the ships, and also getting sworded in half by those same adventurers.
Our protagonists ran outside and started slicing, slashing, and cursing the small fry, while the riflemen fired into the air, occasionally hitting something. Birds were falling at all sides, and even more were charging from an unseen source. Krie pointed at an object in the sky the others could not see because their graphical settings were not set as high because they were on more primitive computers. Oh wait, I mean they were busy with the birds. Anyway, he screamed in terror:
"Boss fight!"
A much larger bird approached from behind the airship. It landed, facing the party, there was a blur effect, about twelve individual particle effects, the camera withdrew, and the game entered combat mode. Someone somewhere mended the fourth wall.
Krie, on the left, held his great katana in front of him and put his right foot forward, ready for action. Rampart, on the right, took out his sword and just held it, ready for action. Vernice just stood there, ready for action.
Krie shouted to the party, "Is this a random encounter?"
Rampart looked at him, speaking grimly. "No, I believe this to be a scripted event."
The person who was supposed to have mended the fourth wall was fired by his manager, and his replacement filled in the last few holes.
Vernice sighed and enhanced their wills, bodies, and minds. They liked that a lot. It was a narcotic feeling. One that everyone was used to, and even addicted to, and that's why white mages are in such high demand, and it's also the reason for some other things you might have noticed during your… travels. But enough of that.
Action fight ensues, summarized henceforth: Bird strikes Krie, Krie strikes bird, Rampart strikes bird, Vernice heals Krie, Bird, not noticing the pattern, strikes Krie again, riflemen wait for and never receive clear shot. Tim Smackdown had a better idea.
His voice was heard over the Public Announcement system the airship apparently had. "MAN, I'M SICK OF THIS ALREADY!" A single missile shot out of the side of the airship, tightly arced around, hit the bird, and exploded. The bird was thrown far off the airship, while on fire, slammed into the neighboring ship in the fleet, and fell to the ground, still maintaining its massive forward momentum. It was a violent landing.
Tim Smackdown's booming voice was heard over the PA once again. "SMACKDOWN!" The battle continued with the small birds, and it was quite thrilling to be there with the crazy speed and the impressive backdrop and all. But it was easy enough to defeat them.
-----
Back on the bridge, the lights were flashing, sparks and steam were coming out of places they probably shouldn't even have been involved with, and panels were lit up in red. Tim Smackdown approached the group.
"Well kids," he paused here to take a puff of his cigar. He sounded sorry for himself. "It's broken. All of it. The engines are on the verge of failing, the sonars are mostly broken, and they're telling me one of the ships might have crashed. You did a good job out there, but we're going to have to go back to the airport."
-----
Rampart and Neth were in Neth's office. More specifically, in his hot springs.
"No, I'm sorry Ram, but we can't do another search." A banana fell from a tree and landed in the springs. Neth offered it to Rampart, who politely declined. "All the technology was in its prototype stages, so it's been ludicrously expensive to rebuild it all." He peeled the banana and began to eat it.
Krie, who didn't get into the springs because he found the concept of more than one man in there to be extremely gay, shouted across the room, "How expensive?"
Neth coughed while swallowing a bite of his banana. "Enough money to bankrupt you ten times over." He shot a cold glance at Krie, who was again silent.
Rampart nodded and sighed. "I understand, man, thanks for all you've done." Neth nodded solemnly, and so did Rampart. He and Krie walked out the door and went down to the street. When they got there, Rampart shouted a bit, and punched a stone wall a few times.
-------------------------------
Neth and Tim Smackdown weren't real. Although we wish they were. Ecspecially Tim Smackdown.
Next chapter should be interesting. Work is underway.