Chapter 3

Back in the change room after the show, Lidia went straight to the washroom, refusing to be apart of any after-show activites. Looking at herself in the mirror, she took deep breaths trying to calm herself down. "Breathe, Lidia, breathe," she mumbled to herself, splashing cold water on her face. Looking down at her dogtag, she ripped the necklace off and threw it against the wall. Leaning against a stall, Lidia slid down to the ground, her body shaking due to an overdose of adrenaline. Bringing her knees to her chest, she curled up into a ball and began to cry.

"Lidia?" A voice called through the door, "honey, are you OK?" Not answering them, Lidia took a deep breath, which was more of a shaky sob. The person barged into the door; it was Stacey Keibler. "Lidia..." Sitting next to the bass player, Stacey wrapped an arm around her, trying to calm her down. "You had an awesome show, I couldn't believe how many people showed up! They all knew the words to your songs too, isn't that awesome? Just to get such a reaction from the crowd..."

"Why was he there?" Lidia cut off Stacey. "Randy told him, didn't he? He probably invited him...Why would he do this to me? I can't even look at John anymore! If he wants us to get back together..."

"Lid, honey, just calm down. What John did hurt Randy too. It was probably out of genorosity to invite him, you know how Randy is." Lidia huffed, her dreadlocks falling in front of her face. 'Stuborn, just like her brother,' Stacey thought to herself as she left the washroom.

Crawling to the necklace that laid on the floor, Lidia held it in her hands, not knowing what to do with it. The chain was broken, so she couldn't wear it as a necklace again; what if he saw her with the necklace? Then he would know she still thinks about him.....But he still had the necklace; 'does he still think of me?' Lidia thought to herself. Putting the dogtag and chain into her pocket, Lidia began to cry again.

After making sure her eyes weren't bloodshot and puffy anymore, Lidia walked out of the washroom and up to the VIP room of the venue for the afterparty, knowing she was taking a chance of seeing John there.

Walking into the VIP room, the first person she saw was her brother. Storming over to him, she tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. When Randy turned around, he wrapped Lidia up in a hug. "Killer show tonight! Haha, I said 'killer', cause I'm the Legend Killer, get it?" He yelled over the blaring music, holding his drink up in the air, "I just want to let you know, Lidia, that I love you, and I'm so proud of what you have accomplished in your twenty three years of living, man. I remember this one time...." Lidia rolled her eyes; Randy was drunk. He always got emotional when he was drunk, always trying to suck up to people to get on their good sides, but once the alcohol began wearing off, he would snap at anyone that came by.

Rolling her eyes, Lidia began walking away, in hope of finding a band member. Finding the guitar player, Pat, talking to Trish Stratus and Lita, Lidia made her way over, grabbing a bottle of water from the cooler on her way. Once she got to where they were, she greeted everybody with hugs.

"Lita! You shouldn't be drinking when you have a human being growing inside of you!" Lidia joked. Lita rolled her eyes at her comment.

"Don't remind me honey. I can't wait until these nine months are over!" Lita told Lidia, playing along with the joke. "Hey, I forgot to tell ya, but awesome show tonight! I've seen everyone but you so far and I didn't get the chance to tell ya! You should talk to Vince, maybe he'll use one of your songs for a pay per view," she suggested. Lidia nodded her head, and began to gaze off into a distance, and that's when she saw John. Ducking her head and directing her gaze to somewhere else, Lita saw the odd action of Lidia. Nudging her, she raised an eyebrow at the younger girl. "What's going on?" she asked just so Lidia could hear. Jerking her head in John's direction, Lita saw what she meant and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Talk to him." Lidia looked at Lita like she was crazy, but realized that she probably should.

Making her way over to John, a thousand thoughts were going through her mind; what if he didn't want to talk? What if he didn't like her anymore? Does he think about her?

Before Lidia knew it, she was facing John's back as he was talking to Dave Batista. Raising her hand to tap him on the shoulder, she quickly pulled it away and turned around, walking in another direction. Hearing her name being called by a deep voice, she turned around slowly, hoping it wasn't John; it was Batista.

"Come join me for a shot Liddy!" He hollered. Turning on her heel to walk over to some of the diva's, she knew John saw her, it was just a matter of wheather he would want to talk to her or not.

Inching closer and closer to the diva's, it was so far so good. Just when she was going to sit next to Jackie, a large hand was on her shoulder, turning her around gently. Closing her eyes as she was turned, she opened them slowly, seeing John standing in front of her.

"Hey," he said softly, bowing his head for her to hear.

"Hey," she replied, no louder than him. "Listen, I know I shoul..."

"Do you want to go outside and talk?" Lidia nodded her head yes, allowing John to lead outside while he held onto her arm, gently.

Finding a spot by the tour bus, Lidia sat down, leaning against the large wheel on the bus. John Paced back and forth, running his fingers through his short hair, trying to figure out what to say. Playing with the stones on the ground, she wiped her hand against her pants, feeling the dogtag that layed inside her pocket. Taking it out to take a look at it, John saw how it was no longer around her neck. Playing with the chain of his, he bit his lip.

"You took yours off?" He said, knowing how stupid he must've sounded.

"Ripped it off..." Lidia mumbled, rubbing her neck. "Look, I don't know why you're here, because last time I checked, we weren't on speaking conditions......"

"I know, but I saw you on Rolling Stone, so I called Randy to see what you were up to...."

"I'm not suppose to talk to you. We both agreed it would be better for Madison if we didn't speak to each other and you weren't apart of her life..."

"We were together for five years, Lidia, five fucking years! Do you think those years ment nothing to me? As soon as you turned eighteen, you knew we were going to be together, you knew it! Everyone knew it!" John yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "And Madison is my kid too, Lidia! I helped make her, remember that night? How your parents and Randy were just upstairs.."

"Shut up! Will you just shut up?" Lidia screamed, standing up to be closer to him. "This....This is why we don't talk anymore, because shit like this always happends. You don't talk to me, and I don't talk to you..." John grabbed Lidia by the wrist, pulling her flush to his body, and kissing her harshly on the mouth. Her knees began to wobble and her lips trembled, but she found herself placing a hand on the back of his head, bringing him closer to deepen the kiss. Opening her mouth to allow his tongue in, John's back was pressed against the tour bus as their arms wrapped around each other for warmth.

Soon, the kiss became quick pecks, and the hug became looser. Leaning her head against his chest, Lidia took a deep breath; John felt her body shake and knew she was trying to hold back tears. Pulling her closer, he placed his chin ontop of her head, rubbing his hands up and down her back. "Liddy...I'm sorry. That was wrong of me, I shouldn't have done that. I've just missed you so much, and..." Lidia placed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"No, don't be sorry," she whispered, looking up to see him. "Just, hold me closer?" Pulling her closer to him, John kissed the top of head, still running his hands along her back.

"Take me back?" he asked hopfully, also hoping he wasn't ruining the moment. Lidia pulled back, and pushed him away gently, letting him know she needed some space. Wiping a tear from her eye, she sighed deeply.

"I...don't know John, I honestly don't. What would happen if we were to get back together? We would hardly see each other, because you're on the road, and I'm on the road, neither of us have cell phones, it'll be so hard. What about the media? If they see us together we won't be able to have a private life because of the press, and I might have award shows...."

"Lid, hey, calm down," John assured her. "Just, think about it, k?"

"What about Madison? You weren't there when she was born John, and she doesn't even know who you are. You haven't been there for the last two years of her life, because you just decided to walk out one day..."

"I know, and I'm truly sorry, I am. I think about you guys everyday Lidia, I honestly do.." Lidia held up her hand, motioning for him to stop. Turning around, she knocked on the tour bus door. When the door opened, she walked into quietly, and over to her bunk, where four year old Madison was watching an episode of the Simpsons.

"Hey cutie," Lidia cooed her daughter. Madison saw her mom and moved over in the bed, allowing her mom to come in. Snuggiling under the covers, Lidia kissed the top of Madison's head, and fell asleep.

Author Note: Ta da! The reason why John and Lidia broke up! I hope it all made sense for you guys, if it didn't please email me and ask me to explain, I don't want to confuse anyone! Anyways, read and review!