Chapter 2… Anything you recognize from the Harry Potter series is owned by the wonderful JK Rowling. Things start to get crazy in this chapter. You've been warned. Muggles beware.

And, indeed the four had officially gone insane. As the hours passed, they all realized more and more how doomed they were. Peter was depressed, and not to mention, starving, even after having feasting session on spoons. Remus was a bit quiet, not really understanding anything that had just happened in the past hour or so. James and Sirius were… well, James and Sirius. Except, James had gone suddenly quiet, which seemed to disturb the other inhabitants residing inside the cave.

Everybody then looked at James, because quiet was something James never did. James had his hand in his pocket, and was slowly drawing his hand back out, clamped around some object. Opening his hand very slowly, a number of gasps echoed around the cave. James had a raisin. Suddenly, with a mad cry, Peter lunged at James, tackling him to the floor.

James, struggling to get up, and brushing Peter away yelled, "Stop Peter! We will all share the raisin!"

"No!" Shouted Sirius in protest. "I've been sitting in this tunnel for at least 15 minuets. I have the best hair—I deserve the raisin!"

"But, I want the raisin!" Peter sobbed.

"Is it chocolate coated?" Remus asked as innocently as possible.

James gave Remus a sort of stare, before shaking his head and answering. "No. But… I did all the trouble sneaking the raisin out of the Greta Hall, I could have gotten caught, and I could have died. Plus, it made my pocket's sticky!" James looked extremely upset.

"Yeah, well, I snuck out the spoons and the salt shaker! I should get it!" Sirius remarked, folding his arms across his chest as if that was the end of this conversation.

James's face suddenly cracked into a smile, and his eyes lit up. "The salt shaker!" He shouted, as he grabbed the saltshaker from Sirius's pocket, and shakes it over the raisin enthusiastically.

Remus watched this ridiculous event, and pulled an odd sort of expression. "Sorry, I like chocolate raisins, not… salted ones."

Peter frowned at Remus in disgust. "You're such a picky eater!" He cried. "I deserve the raisin because…. I'm hungry!"

James, Sirius, and Remus raised an eyebrow at this comment, and stared at him for at least a minuet.

Peter turned red. "What!"

James shook his head. "Okay, master of the obvious, we're all hungry here. Plus, I have the best reason to live."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" snorted Sirius sarcastically.

James shook his head at his friend's ignorance. "Well, Lily, duh, I still haven't gotten her to go out with me yet! But maybe she's thinking of me… right now…"

-

Lily is in the Girls dorm, reading a book and thinking nothing at all of James.

"I MUST get out of here!" James shouted angrily at the thought of Lily 'just' thinking of him.

Sirius shook his head in pity." You're wasting too much time on one girl, Prongs. AHH! I just remembered! I have a date tonight! I MUST get out of here!"

Peter stares with envy at his friends and all their girlfriends.

Remus raised a brow, and shook his head sadly. "You're probably doing your 'girlfriends' a favor by not showing up… Probably giving them salted raisins for romantic treats and all…. And maybe a side order of dirt. " Remus seemed to be smiling ever so slightly at the two.

James's eyes shifted away from Remus and coughed. "Ur… no..."

Sirius blinked dramatically and fluffed his hair. "Hey, when I date a girl, they don't care what I give them, as long as they're there with me!"

James suddenly began to cough, the sound resembling a cat hacking up a hairball. Sirius shot him a glare. James finished coughing, after it sounded as if he had coughed up a lung, he apologized sarcastically, "Sorry, this cave makes me cough."

Sirius snorted, and gave James the cold shoulder. "You're just jealous."

Remus sighed. "Riiiight. I really wish I had my book."

Peter had such an expression on his face—jealousy mingled with extreme hunger. "I'm STILL hungry!"

"Then take their 'salted raisin' while they ramble on about how attractive they are!" Remus hissed, yet loud enough to speak over James and Sirius's arguing.

Peter nodded, and snuck up behind James—er—not so stealthily, and stuck his hand in James's pocket to get the raisin.

James stopped arguing and blinked; now looking at Peter. "You perverted freak!" he cried. "Why is your hand in my pocket?"

"Nasty Wormtail!" exclaimed Sirius. "I didn't know you were that way."

Peter hung his head sadly. "I just wanted the raisin…"

Remus shook his head as well, a bit frustrated and hungry as well. "You idiots! Why does everything have to be so perverted? Don't listen to them, Peter. Besides. The raisin was in 'James's' Pocket. Who knows what's growing in there?"

James looked highly offended, and stuck his nose in the air. "I'll have you know, I cleaned out all the fungus last Tuesday!"

"And 'I' helped!" Sirius said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, yes he did." Said James, nodding proudly.

"Can I just have the raisin?" Peter whined.

Sirius's eyes popped out, and his hair seemed to stand on end. "Have the raisin? HAVE THE RAISIN? That's the only food we HAVE! We could be stuck in here for weeks! Do you have ANY idea how important this raisin is to us?"

"Yes Sirius, I do know how important it is! And if I don't get it, I'll… I'll… I'll cry! I really will!"

"Oh, and you know how horrible THAT is…" Remus said sarcastically.

James shivered. "I know, I still have nightmares about it…"

Remus slapped his hand to his face. "Sarcasm is a foreign language to you?"

"No!" Sirius spoke up, his voice echoing in the small cave. "If you MUST know, I took sarcasm as a 2nd language over the summer!"

"…You what?"

"I'm going to cry!"

"What else is new? Hey! That was sarcastic! I'm a fast learner!"

"No it wasn't!"

"Okay, I'm crying!"

"SHUT UP!" A voice rang out and made the cave seem to tremble slightly. Remus's left eye was twitching slightly, and he was panting heavily. "JAMES! Stop—stop being sarcastic! Sirius, stop arguing—and Peter… Just—STOP!"

Remus with a swift motion grabbed the raisin from James, and drew a line in the soil of the cave.

"You two stay there." He said to James and Sirius. "And Peter and I will stay here. And—just, eat the stupid raisin Peter."

He then tossed the Raisin over his shoulder.

James, Sirius and Peter gasp and hold their breath as the raisin flies in slow motion.

James's voice was suddenly slow and deep. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooh!"

Peter suddenly leaped into the air slowly, and seemed to stop in midair, your point of view swirling around him dramatically—until things turn to normal, Peter crashes into Remus, and the raison lands a few feet away.

"Peter!" Remus said angrily as he stood up and stared to brush off his robes.

Peter started to sob. "WAAAAAAAH!"

"Shut the hell up, Peter!" James cursed. "I know what to do. We're going to play…."

Sirius starts a drum roll.

"Capture the raisin."

Everyone gasps.

Sirius grabs the raisin, and shouts, "James and I have the raisin first!"

Whining, Peter mumbled, "Why do 'you' get the raisin first?"

"Yeah, who made you the boss?" agreed Remus.

"I am the most handsome here. There for I get the raisin." Sirius said dreamily, batting his eyelashes.

"True…" Peter shrugged and said, as if it were elementary. Remus just rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Well then, that's settled." Stated James.

"Now, turn around, and close your little eyes." Sirius said to the two.

Peter closed his eyes, and jumped. "AH! I'm scared of the dark…"

Both Sirius and James ignore him, and run around looking for hiding space. Suddenly, James stuffs the raisin in Sirius's pocket. "They're never gonna guess where it is."

Sirius snickered and nodded. "Okay, open your eyes, little ones!" Sirius called out.

Remus grumbled at Sirius's ignorance, and Peter sighed in relief he didn't have to stare into black anymore.

"Try and find it!" Sirius said cheerfully.

"AH! THE PRESSURE!" Peter screamed.

Remus blinked, walked up to Sirius, reached in his pocket, and pulled out the raisin.

"Damn, he's good…" muttered Sirius.

Remus rose an eyebrow, and then started to walk back to his side of the cave.

James whirled around, and with a burst of speed, tackled the retreating Remus. Remus yelled, and then let go of the raisin, to send it flying into the air, and into nothingness.

Sirius collapsed to his knees, and sobbed. "NO! Now we're REALLY gonna die!"

Remus kicked out with his right leg to get James to stop clinging to it. "We'll all die, someday."

Those words hung in the air eerily, and echoed at least 20 times until Sirius told the cave to shut up.

Peter, his voice hushed in awe, whispered. "Wow. Remus is a philosopher."

James, Peter, and Sirius bowed low, and chanted 'mighty philosopher' over and over.

Remus slapped his hand to his head once more. How long would this go on? Who knew? But Remus knew if he had to put up with another day of all three of his friends bowing down to him and calling him 'Mighty Philosopher', he might just die of insanity.