Chapter Three: Moony, the All-Knowing Philosopher

So I decided to type up chapter three because Fluffy is far too lazy to. Yeah. I know. Short chapter. But, the next one will make up for it. I promise. X) We have some pretty wicked stuff planned. - Padfoot

"Oh, Moony, how do know all these philosopher-like things?" Sirius asked Remus in a tone of asking an author how she thought up his/her ideas.

Remus had an answer to that, because we all know that he has an answer to everything because he is a philosopher. "It is obviously a gift that you do not possess," he said simply, "For I am Moony, the all knowing philosopher!"

"Well if you're so great, then tell me if Lily is thinking of me," said James doubtfully, sitting down on the earth.

"That's not what a philosopher do—." Remus shot back. But James cut him off, by standing up very abruptly and yelling, "JUST DO IT!"

"Okay, okay," he tired to play along.

In the Gryffindor Common Room Lily Evans is sitting in a corner talking to her friends about everything BUT James.

Remus shook his head sadly, and as James looked at him eagerly, he didn't really want to break the news to him. "You don't want to know."

"YES!" James punched the air triumphantly. "SHE'S THINKING OF ME!"

"And I'm a flobberworm," Peter mumbled sarcastically.

Sirius sat down, and James copied him. "As I said countless times before, you need to find yourself another girl, Prongs," Sirius confessed truthfully.

"No I don't!" James denied, "Besides, I think she's really starting to like me now."

Sirius groaned, "That's what you said last week, and the week before that, and the week before that, and the week before that, and the week before that, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that, ever since first year and quite many times in-between."

Peter laughed, "Yes, how many times has she turned down your offers to go out with you?" He too sat down.

"Yes, surely you've been counting?" Remus snickered.

"Well you should already know, Moony, the almightily philosopher!" James yelled at him.

Remus muttered to himself, "I swear, the boy doesn't know the difference between a philosopher and a seer…"

"What was that—our almightily?" James rounded on Remus.

He quickly replied, "Nothing." And he went to sit down also, but in a corner, far away from the idiotic threesome.

James sighed in boredom. "Hey, Sirius, do you have anymore of those spoons?"

Sirius hung his head sadly. "NO! Because SOMEBODY ate them all!" He glared at Peter.

"I was hungry!" Peter said in his defense.

"You're always hungry," James shot back.

"Am I James, or is it YOU who is always hungry?"

Sirius and James exchanged looks. "But—you were the one who ate all the spoons," said James fairly.

"Well I wasn't the one with the raisin in my pocket!" Peter yelled, getting angry over a pointless argument. "You probably had that in there to cure your 'always hungry' problem!"

"What?"

"Oh, don't you 'what' me. I know ALL about your secrets…" Peter said eerily.

Sirius screamed, "AHH! Now Peter is a philosopher! REMUS! Stop influencing Peter!"

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