I'm back with more of…

The Shinobi's Guide to Voodoo
By Kaori

"Hey…" Naruto groaned. "Hey Kiba…are you dead?"

"Unfortunately…" the dog-user grunted. "No. Where's Akamaru? Akamaru!" Said dog gave a muffled bark from where he was buried in sand.

"I should kill you." Gaara drawled causing the other two boys to cringe.

"Come on, Gaara!" whined Naruto. "You've already beaten the crap out of us isn't that enough?"

"Not really."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!"

As fun as it would be to watch Kiba and Naruto get beaten within an inch of their lives, it's beginning to get dark and I think you all would like to find out what has become of poor Iruka before it's too dark to see anything…

"JIRAIYA WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU!" Tsunade yelled. "FOR THE LOVE OF THE YONDAIME PUT IRUKA DOWN!"

Jiraiya was currently standing outside the bathhouse wringing poor Iruka's neck. Tsunade, not wanting to risk getting near Jiraiya with his current infatuation with her, settled for yelling at him from across the street. Iruka, was slowly losing consciousness.

"Tsunade! How can you even think about marrying this…this…" Jirayia sputtered.

"I've been trying to tell you I'm not marrying Iruka!" growled Tsunade.

"Ack…grkkk…" choked Iruka. Fortunately for Iruka, the Fates decided to have pity on the poor chounin as several feminine giggles floated out of the door to the bathhouse. Jiraiya's ears twitched, and he loosened his grip on Iruka just enough for the man to make a run for it.

"Come back here you cowa…" Jiraiya's outraged scream was cut short when he once again heard the sound of women laughing. "No…I love…Tsunade. I must not…" More giggles, a splash of water, and a woman saying "I'm coming out now." Jiraiya noticeably twitched. "No..no…no!" he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "Tsunade is the only woman for…"

"Michi do you remember where I put my clothes?" a woman asked.

"HOCHA!" cheered Jiraiya, whipping out his notepad and hurrying off to his peeping spot behind the bathhouse. Apparently, perversion is stronger than voodoo.

Tsunade stood there blinking for a moment before getting her wits back, balling her hands into a fist, and heading behind the bathhouse to beat Jiraiya into a bloody pulp.

The next morning found a very battered Naruto and Kiba sprawled out on the floor of Kiba's room. "Note to self," Naruto moaned. "no hypnotizing demon vessels."

"I have sand in places I didn't even know I had." Kiba murmured, wincing as he sat up.

"Gaara's mellowed out a lot though."

"How do you figure that?"

"We're still alive aren't we?" Naruto pointed out. Kiba gave a cynical laugh.

"Yeah, being dead couldn't possibly hurt this much." He looked around. "Um, Naruto… where's the voodoo kit?"

"It's right over…." Naruto started, but then noticed that the voodoo kit wasn't where they had last put it. "WAAGH! IT'S GONE!"

Dear oh dear, where could the voodoo kit have gotten to? Well, you'll have to wait and see.