Chapter 4:
Disclaimer: Nothing changed. They're still not mine, except for Mum, Nicole and other family members of the Evers.
A/N: hello, are you people still reading this? I hope you do. Thanks to those who reviewed!!! I really appreciate it. Please read and review.
Nicole parked her car and turned off the motor. Both she and John sat still for a moment. Then Nicole took a deep breath and opened the door. John followed. They made their way towards the almost two-weeks-old grave and stopped in front of it.
After a minute of silence Nicole stepped forward and caressed the headstone. She spoke with a soft voice.
"Hi Mum. Look who I brought. He couldn't be here for your burial, but you know that already, no doubt."
Silence
"I eh, I really miss you Mum. I wish you were still here. It's so hard without you. Every time I wake up, I think something like: 'It's a wonderful day to go shopping with Mum.' And then I realise I can't because you're... you're gone. You're gone. Why? Why did you have to leave me and Ben? I don't understand! I-I... I just don't know what to do anymore."
Tears welled up in her eyes, but she forced them back, not wanting to break down here. So she stepped back, letting John know that he could 'say goodbye' if he wanted to.
John looked at her face, making sure she was OK, before turning his attention to the grave stone. After a couple of moments he crouched down on his knees and put down the flowers he had brought.
"Hey Mum. I eh... I couldn't be here at the funeral. I wish I could have, but well, it's kind of hard, reading your mail when you're in space. I only read the news a couple of days ago. But even though I'm late, I still wanted to come here. To say... to say 'thank you.' Thank you for making me feel welcome. Thank you for making me feel part of the family. Thank you for... for being a sort of second mum for me. I...I wish...I wish I could tell you that in person." There was a long silence. "I'll come by another time."
With that he stood up and looked straight ahead, trying to hide the tears that had welled up in his eyes.
Nicole stared at his back. She had heard the pain in his voice, and it hurt her to see him like this. She wanted to walk over to him and embrace him.
This thought confused her. She had never felt like that towards anyone, except her brother. But still, that was somehow different.
Her thoughts were interrupted as John turned around, seeming a bit more composed, but Nicole could see the hurt in his eyes.
There was something strange about it though. He looked at her intensely. Suddenly she realised, the hurt wasn't just for himself... He hurt for her too! Because it was her mother that had died.
John could see the recognition in her eyes, and he did a step towards her, opening his arms. Not able to hold back the tears, she stepped into his embrace and cried onto his shoulder. After what seemed like forever she looked up into his eyes only to discover that they were wet too.
They both smiled through the tears. Suddenly they remembered where they were.
They broke apart, both turning slightly red.
Should I say I'm sorry? But I'm not. It felt good to share our pain. I feel so much better now. But maybe she doesn't. Maybe I should apologize.
What should I do? What should I do? Apologize? Thank him? It really helped. Just having him hold me helped. But we're just former colleagues... well, maybe they were more than that, but they weren't more than just...friends...or were they?
The long silence continued, until John broke it. "I eh... maybe we should get back to your car."
Nicole nodded, not quite able to say anything coherent yet. They made their way back slowly, side by side, but with some space between them. Suddenly Nicole took John's arm and walked a bit closer to him. John looked down at her with raised eyebrows. She offered him a smile, and he responded likewise.
When they reached the gate, Nicole held him back. Thoughts were racing through her mind.
"Ehm, do you think you could drive us back? I'm not sure I feel up to it." She asked.
John nodded, squeezing her handto showhis understanding.
They got into the car, this time with John behind the wheel. Even though it had been quite a while since John had driven a car, he felt as comfortable driving as before. It was almost like he did it every day.
It was a quiet drive, no-one said anything, except the occasional "Hey, isn't that Mr. ...?" or "That was the house of Mrs. ..., but she passed away about a year ago. The house now belongs to ..."
John parked the car in front of the house. Nicole opened the front door with John not far behind her.
They both had had some time to think, but it only resulted in more questions and the want for more time.
"How long were you going to stay?" Nicole asked John as they entered the living room once again.
John shrugged. "Not sure. I have another five days off. I finished my work at Tracy Industries for now, so... I guess I'll go and see whether I can find some hotel here and go and find out how many people I still remember... or how many people still remember me." He said with a grin.
Nicole furrowed her brow. "Who do you work for now? I mean, besides for Tracy Industries?"
"Why do you ask?" He asked, trying to not sound evasive, but actually curious about the reason.
"Well, at the cemetery, you mentioned that it was hard reading mail when you were in space, but you quit working for NASA. I thought you had quit because you weren't interested in space anymore. But then, a couple of years ago I saw a book written by you about space, so that couldn't be the reason. So now I'm wondering who you work for now."
It wasn't that John didn't have a story ready. He did. But it didn't feel right to lie to Nicole.
"I work for my father."
"But Tracy Industries isn't operative in space!"
"Well, you know my father's passion for space, and well, he knows my passion for it, so... Sometimes we invest money in a space project, and I'm usually involved."
It wasn't a lie. Not really. After all, Jeff Tracy did invest money in a space project... if you could call Thunderbird 3 and 5 together a space project.
But that still didn't make it feel right. However, bound by his promise, he couldn't tell the truth, no matter how much he trusted Nicole. 'Comes with the job.' John snorted quietly, not loud enough for Nicole to notice.
Nicole nodded, seeming to buy the story.
"So you're going to stay around for a bit... why would you go to a hotel if you can stay righthere?"
She saw how uncomfortable John looked at the idea and she quickly realised the problem.
"I'm sure Mum wouldn't mind." She added softly.
John abruptly looked her straight in the eyes. How did she know what he was thinking?
"Well..." He began turning down her offer.
"Please? I...I would really like it if you did. And Ben will come tomorrow. He will want to see you again too, and it'll be so much easier if you just stay here."
She saw his indecision.
"You're not going to go to a hotel." She said as if stating a fact.
John looked at her with calculating eyes. "Says who?"
"I do. Either you're staying here, or you're staying at my place, but I'm not going to let you pay for a hotel when you have friends in town!" She said resolutely.
John knew that tone. It implied that you had better not argue. And John didn't actually feel up to an argument about this subject, emotionally speaking.
"All right, I'll stay here."
"You can stay at my place if you feel it's too... awkward to be here. I mean, I would understand..."
"No no, it's fine like this." Looking at his watch he continued, "It's about 2 o'clock now. How about I take you out to lunch?"
Nicole, satisfied she had 'won' their small argument, decided not to argue about him paying as she already knew she wouldn't win that argument.
"OK, any place you want to go to?"
"How about Mary's place? Does she still have the restaurant?"
Nicole nodded. "She'll love to see you again. Let's go!"
A/N: heya everyone, that's it for now. This is already kind of beyond the point to which I had planned this story, so from here on, I don't know where it's going exactly yet. Anyway, I hope you like it, please review!!