Disclaimer: I do not own anything about Blade..etc. etc. I think i do own the original chars, hm? Idk. But ya.

A/N: I am trying to add comedy. It just aint working..or is it? But anyway...i have a beginning and an end...but to get to the end, i must have a middle..which i'm just makign up on the way. Ehe. Anyhoo..This is KING's point of view. Confusing story, might be but i think i'll keep changing character's point of views..or stick with king, i like this. KING POINT OF VIEW!

Chapter 5: Guess who's back

"This is crazy. You're all crazy! There's…there's no such thing!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, I knew something like this would happen. They always do, damn it. I should've gotten a speech ready or some other shit…

The kid, Patricia, I reminded myself, was taking this pretty normal. Others would have thought they were going nutzo- which they probably already were -and (speaking from experience) they would have thrown up or something. I looked down at the stained carpet right where I was standing and sighed. What the hell did that guy eat?

I focused and tried to think of the types of food that could cause a stain like that, and a smell like that while in the process…meanwhile, Krabby Patty Hunty over there droned on.

"Are you even listening to me?" she retorted, "Vampires don't exist…do you know what I mean"
This here is the best part. The part where I nod and pretend I'm listening. "Okay. Well, do you understand what I mean Mr King?" Pita asked confidently.

What is this, an exam? Oh damn, what should I say…I wish brains have refresh buttons. What was the last sentence she said? Keywords… 'vampires', 'impossible', 'crazy'.

"After 25 minutes, the only way I could know what you mean more is if you wrote 'Vampires are not real. It's impossible. You all are crazy' on a big wooden mallet and repeatedly smashed me over the head with it." I said grimly.

But for some reason, she was right, why hadn't all the vampires disappeared yet? They should've been gone…dead…well, as dead as you can ever get.

Pita looked at me as if I was crazy. I then, realized at this very moment that…I am starving.

"…fast comeback." Pita finally said, to no one in particular.

"Yeah. It's a gift." Abby told her.

I still can't believe it's been a whole two days since Patty or Pita's been here. Well, the day and a half she's been asleep here counts. Ever since we told her the whole vamp story, which took us up to this very moment, she's been telling us how crazy we are and how we should go to a mental hospital.

Smart kid, this one. She actually knows how to spell flibbitygibberthujayak. Okay, it's not really a word but I needed to test how smart she was. Turns out that she was pretty disciplined kid. Parents musta been so proud.

The kid-- damn it --Patricia, I told myself, was a great little genius. You know those traps the Kevin boy made in the movie 'Home Alone'? Ya. Those kinds.

It was just fucking unbelievable how that bullet hit that Bible, which actually saved her life. Fucking craziness…it's either that or God thought it wasn't her time to go yet. I think I'll go with the craziness. Funny thing is, every one here treats her like she's the same age as them. Not including the old hag of course…

"Aaaaaaaahhhh!"

"Ruby, what's wrong?"

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

The frightened old woman ran back inside her bedroom. Abby blinked in confusion and sat down on one of the chairs, she waited, watching the doorway.

By the time Ruby came back, Abby had returned to cooking her bacon, eggs and some toast. Ruby raises her hand into the air with a long shotgun. Without warning, she shoots the gun into the ceiling. Abby screamed and jumped up at the ear-piercing sound, she twirled around to look at Ruby who lowered her arm.

"Who the hell iz you? Wut the hell are yous doin' in my house?" Ruby asked, her voice shaky, she was terrified.

Abby put a hand over her heart, scared to death, "Ruby, it's me, Abigail. Daughter of Whistler"
"I'm goin' to give you nine seconds to get out of here!"

"Why nine?" Abby screamed, arms raised after the 'poor' old woman had shot at the toaster to her left. "Ruby! Ruby! It's me, your friend!"

"Nueve." she counted in Italian.

"I'm with King! Hannibal King!"

Ruby smiled at her, "Oh, that nice young man finally got himself a pretty wife," Abby managed a smile.
Ruby continued, "Ocho."

"Ruby! Stop!"

"Siete."

Abby was now, stark-raving mad, she lowered her hands, "You crazy woman!"

Ruby, was now, also as mad as Abby. "UNO!"

Abby ducks down, afraid that she was about to die, about to die because the old hag forgot her name. There was a moment of silence. Abby looks up and sees the old woman eating the eggs she had cooked. "This is good. Umm-umm. Best eggs ever." Ruby said with her mouth-full.

Abby backs away from the crazy woman and turns around only to collide with, well, me.

"Oh!"

"You okay? You look…" I examined Abby and I had the strangest feeling she was just staring at me. Must be my dashing looks. If I said that out loud and smirked, she would've slapped me…but I would've enjoyed that. If your mind is in la-la land and you don't know why I might enjoy it, it's because I'm getting on her nerves. Still don't know what I mean? Well, it's my sign of victory. Ya. Victory. I got my Victory speech ready. If you STILL don't get what I mean, go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel. Hurry! I think I see an ice berg! I felt her hands on my chest.

"…Frazzled."

"I am frazzled." She said quickly, "Thanks to the woman who tried to kill me just to steal my breakfast." I put my hands on top of hers and felt her warmth, then I glanced over her shoulder at the nasty little pest eating Abby's breakfast…no wait, isn't that mine?

"Yo guys."

Automatically, all living humans in the room with a good enough memory, turned their heads towards the kitchen counter where about, three laptops were set up. Surrounding it were many plastic cups of empty coffee and some papers were scattered around.

Kasumi lowered the folder she was looking at and put it down, she tapped it and spun on her computer chair, stopping gracefully in front of the laptop on the left. "I found something."

"Is it my sandwich?" asked Ruby, "It's been two weeks and I want it back."

I pulled away from Abby and walked across the room. Abby lowered her hands, embarrassed and then followed me.

"I'll give ya one later nan." I reassured her as I walked behind Kasumi, "Whatcha get?"

"Here," she pressed the enter key and a picture of a man in his mid-thirties popped up. He had pale skin with hollow eyes. Defiantly a vampire, and there, on his neck was what looked like a bite mark. I rubbed the side of my neck, anxious. For some fucking reason, it started to hurt like hell.

"Is this the guy we saw back in the alley or not?"

"Who could forget that horrible haircut?" I quipped. Kasumi snickered. Damn, usually, me answering her questions with questions pissed her off. Either way, that wasn't important.

"Ya, alright, well, check this out…" Kasumi spun and stopped in front of a different laptop.

"Stop spinning will you? The kitchen ain't an ice skating arena." I growled, walking over to her. I looked over to Abby, "We should really get rid of that chai--" I stopped mid-sentence and stared at the screen with wide eyes. Thoughts began to swirl through my mind like it was a fucking washing machine. No, it can't be--

"She's back."