A/N Fluffy fluffy fluffy fluff. Fuzzy bunnies and candy fluffy. Cuddling on the couch fluffy. Yay for fluff! And yes I can update too fast. There's only three chapters left. And, well, you're getting nothing until the end of november because I have an original novel to worry about...Right now y'all should be hoping Bill Dung plays nice and I get 50k out of him in a week...
He looked up at the calendar. A year. One whole year. She had been gone for a year; he had been on the downward spiral for a year. Almost a year, he was better now, he was fixed, he wasn't broken anymore. He'd been clean for two months now. Jordan had gotten him there, gotten him past the nightmares, gotten him through everything.
But it had been a whole year. He poured himself a glass of coffee and raised it in a toast. If there was a time he needed a drink it was now. He wanted a drink. He needed something to take his mind off the fact that his baby was gone, had been gone for a whole year and that it was his fault.
He had just started to move on, just started to get better and here she was cropping up in his thoughts again, reminding him again about what he had done wrong in his life. But there weren't anymore nightmares, Jordan had chased them away. He downed the cup of coffee and poured another.
Where was Jordan? She had kept close to him all day, watching him, making sure that she was there in case he caved in. And he was ready to, he could feel it, the urge to go and down an entire bottle of scotch all to himself. Where was she to be there for him and tell him that that was the stupidest thing he could ever do?
He frowned at the realization that he needed her, that he needed her to help chase away the nightmares, that he was to the point where she was just so much a part of him that he couldn't live without her. The thought of a life without her scared him. The thought had crossed his mind once and it been enough to drive him as close to drinking as he'd come until today.
He leaned back in his chair, looking out the window of his office into the hall watching the hustle and bustle of people around him. He caught sight of her dark curls and smiled as she walked into his office. "Hey." She said, pouring herself a cup of coffee and sitting on his couch.
"Hey." He replied, kicking his feet up.
"How are you doing?" He shrugged.
"I'm doing." He said and she grinned. It was the best he could do. "I can't believe it's been a year-" he could feel her sympathetic gaze on him. "I mean, it's all passed in such a rush-and I can't remember half of what happened." He smiled faintly. "That might be for the better though." She came over and perched on the arm of his chair.
"You're alright now. See, you've done it. You've survived today, you're better." He smiled up at her. She was right, he had done it. He had survived the day; so far he hadn't touched a single drop of anything resembling alcohol. No matter how much he wanted to.
"What say we get out of here?" He said, downing the last of his coffee and she got up, wrapping her arm around him as he did the same, pulling her close. She felt so right, so natural there against him, she just seemed to fit on the side of him, be perfectly molded into him.
He frowned at that thought, he didn't want to think that way about her, it meant risking their relationship. He wasn't going to push her away forever because he was too busy fantasizing over what could be. He had what he had, and he was happy with it, he wasn't going to push his luck and push her away forever, he couldn't live without her, he needed her too much.
She was the one that he leaned on to save him, to keep him from falling back down, from going over a cliff and sliding back into the deepest corners of his mind. She had rescued him and he needed her to keep him from doing that again, he needed her in his life, he couldn't screw things up between them.