A/N so it takes the closest turn to angst it takes here and in the next chapter. It also gets somewhat fluffy. Of course Jordan has to walk in at an inopportune moment...interrupting inopportune moments is the best. They're the best moments to interrupt. And Keridwen-you seem to be the only one who's picked up on that. Nanos do have a bad effect on fanfic though...shame. Ah well, I like the idea of using this when I get sick of my Nano. Although it's got such a meandering plot, I don't think I can get bored with it. When I start getting bored I can just have him start to rant about something. Although that's also a very good thing because it means that I can reach 50k really really fast.
He looked at the shimmer of light off of the small stones. It really was a gorgeous piece of jewelry. She would love it; at least he hoped she would. It was gorgeous, almost five karats, diamond and sapphire. He had the money to waste. It wasn't as if he was going to be spending all the money that he had stockpiled away for Abby anytime in the near future. He could afford to waste some and she deserved it.
He flipped it over to look at the inscription on the back. It was sweet and he had to admit, just a little sappy, but he didn't care. Plain and simple. Jordan, thank you. All my love, Garret. Seven simple words etched into the back; seven simple words that said everything that he couldn't.
Seven simple words that proclaimed his love. Something that he would never do to her, he couldn't tell her he loved her. He needed her, depended on her; he couldn't bear the thought of telling her and watching her let him down easily. He couldn't stand the thought of a life without her, he wasn't going to screw that over, even though he had given up on the fact that he was hopelessly in love.
That was the first step though. There weren't many things he'd admit he was powerless over, and love was one of those few rare things. He was in love with her, he knew it, he had come to acknowledge that, somewhere over the past few months he had realized that she was the one that was constantly on his mind.
Every little touch left him wanting more, everything she did left him wanting more. But he chased those thoughts away, ignored them. And he tried to avoid her-not for any fault of hers, but because he didn't want to cross that line with her, and the longer he spent with her the greater the chance that he would do it, that he would come right out and screw over their relationship.
He'd get up the courage eventually, one day he would tell her. He could give her the bracelet for her birthday that would give him a full four months to work up the courage to tell her. Four months to come up with some decent way to tell her that she was the only one that he had and that he loved her.
But until then he was quite happy avoiding her where possible. There was still the couch pulled out along one wall of his living room and her stuff all over, but he spent almost as much time in his room as he did out there with her, simply so that she wouldn't see the effect she had on him. He didn't want her to see. It was something that had snuck up on him and he didn't like that feeling.
He didn't like the way that he suddenly woke up and realized that what he felt for her was more than he ever felt for Maggie. He didn't like the way that all of a sudden out of nowhere he realized that he was gone, hopelessly and pathetically gone. He had seen the symptoms of it sneak up on him and he kept trying to fight them, but the more he fought the more persistent she was in doing things that just made him want to love her.
He saw her dark hair appear around the corner as she headed towards his office and he quickly snapped the box shut and shoved it into a desk drawer, closing it as she opened the door. She stood there for a long minute giving him a weird look. "Hey." She said. There was something different about her tone. He didn't quite know what, but it was different.
"Hey." He replied, leaning back and relaxing.
"What's up?" She asked, collapsing into her familiar place on the couch.
"Nothing." He said and she gave him an inquisitive look.
"Nothing?" She asked and he nodded.
"Nothing." He repeated and he watched her eyes narrow.
"Garret, what the hell has been up with you?" She asked and he shrugged. He wasn't going to answer that, he didn't need her to find out what was wrong with him.
"Nothing's been up with me Jordan." She stared at him long and hard, her eyes boring into him.
"Nothing's been wrong? You've been hiding away in your room, you've been avoiding me and here you go shoving things into your desk drawers, what happened, did you fall off the wagon? Are you too much of a coward to come right out and tell me?" He winced under her cold, cutting tone.
"No, that's not it-" He started and she glared at him.
"Then what is it Garret?" He couldn't tell her, he couldn't. He wasn't going to tell her, not like this.
"I'm not drinking again, I swear." He said taking a long gulp of coffee, wishing it was something stronger, wishing that he was drinking again. She closed in on him, meeting his gaze.
"I think you're bullshitting." Her voice was cold as she spoke and he could feel it cutting him down. "Garret, I can't help you if you don't try-" He shook his head at the pleading tone in her voice.
"Jordan, I promise you-" She shook her head.
"Garret, I don't want to hear some tired promise when you're not going to follow it. " Her accusations cut him down. He was sober, he was making it, but it was her fault that she thought he wasn't making it. He was. "Garret, I can't help you if you don't want it."
She walked out, leaving him in his office feeling hopelessly alone. The disappointed tone in her voice bit straight into his soul and he frowned at the thought. He opened up the desk drawer and at the sight of the velvet box he slammed it shut forcefully, walking out the door, heading home. He needed to get outside, get some fresh air, get out of there. He needed a drink.