By animeninjaNIPPON

The following night, I stole away from my sleeping quarters and went outside, completely alone, to the roof. I needed to be alone to think; away from everything. So I contemplated, as I had been doing so often, mostly about Chocolove. It wasn't so much the fact that I liked him that frustrated me, but the fact that I liked him more than I liked the others. No, I couldn't say that - I liked him...differently than the others. Whenever he was around, I got a completely different feeling than I did with the rest of my group.

As I looked down from the roof onto the roads below, I imagined what it would be like to be Shaman King. Then I heard a slight scuffling noise behind me.

Glancing out of my peripheral vision, I could see that it was Chocolove. I didn't see Mic or anyone near him, and suddenly, the tepid air around me got colder.

"Ren." He said my name solemnly. I was inclined to ignore him until he went away, but he could tell that I heard him. I turned around.

"Yoh told me...it hasn't been easy for you." He took a couple of steps forward. "He didn't tell me everything, but...I want you to know something."

That fluttering feeling in the pit of my stomach returned, and my heart was beating like it often did when I finished a fight. His eyes met mine, and my digestive tract started cramping up. "What..."

He put his hands behind his back idly, like he was nervous too. "I understand you - to some extent."

I grew offended. "What do you know about me?"

He walked up to me, and I backed up against the wall that supported the upper level of the oddly shaped building. "I don't know everything about you, but if you explain it in your words..." He peered over the ledge and stared downward. "I'll tell you about myself, too."

What made him think I'd be interested in either option? Nevertheless, I joined him in surveying the area. "I grew up being taught to hate. To kill." I gave him a brief overview of my life with my family, almost choking on the spite as I did so. I hoped it was enough for him to understand...

"I grew up around a lot of death and hatred, too." He explained the gangs he'd seen and the one he was once a part of, talked of his former home, and his parents...and I began to empathize with him. "Then Orona came, and taught me about the winds of laughter...and I've seen what happiness can do for one's soul." He turned to me and placed his hand on my arm. His brown hand felt warm against my pallid skin, and when he removed it, the chill of the night hit me even harder. I looked at him, making eye contact, thinking that no one should have to suffer through a past like mine, or a past like his. But he had found something to ease that pain...and I thought, perhaps I should, too.

"So...you want to make me laugh?" I asked.

He smiled somewhat shyly. "Yeah. I've been trying to since we met. I mean, I try to make everyone laugh, but the others are pretty happy already. You...it always appeared that there was something troubling you. You reminded me of myself, a long time ago, so I knew..."

"Well, if it makes you feel better," I sighed, "I'm happy right now."

"Sometimes it's a good thing just to tell someone what's on your mind."

I hesitated for a moment, then spoke up. "...There's another thing on my mind."

"Really?" He looked slightly surprised. "What?"

There was a bit of an awkward silence as I looked down at my feet, then to his white boots, and then back up to him. "...Well...you."

"I figured as much..." He stepped a little closer to me, but this time, I couldn't find the strength to back away. "Ren, I followed you out here to tell you something."

"Didn't you already say it?"

"Yeah... He was clearly stalling for time, not really making any sense. "Well, I just wanted to let you know, I think you're great, and I'm glad you're my friend, even if we don't talk very much."

I half-smiled. "Same here." I put my hand on his shoulder as a gesture of friendship. He took three steps closer and put his arms around my waist, pulling into an embrace. Not knowing what else to do without spoiling the moment, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back. I could feel his heart beating as rapidly as mine, and we stood there like that for... I'd say about three minutes. He pulled back slightly, still holding me, and looked at me as if he were about to say something. It was starting to get awkward, and I would have broken free and returned to my sleeping bag, but this was a completely new experience for me - I was almost paralyzed as he gazed into the depths of my soul with a mysterious stare, and I found that even looking away would break the moment. There was nothing I could do without hurting him, and I definitely didn't want to do that...

Chocolove slid his hand up from my waist to my ear, gently caressing it before putting his hand behind my head. He pulled my face closer to his, tilted his head slightly, and... I closed my eyes by default, but I felt his lips being pressed against mine.

When that happened, my eyes shot open for a split second. Chocolove was kissing me. I didn't know what to make of that. I felt a jolt of adrenaline shoot through my body that almost felt like spirit possession, and I pulled his body closer to mine. He broke the kiss slowly after a while, and when I reopened my eyes, he was looking at me apologetically.

"I - I'm sorry," he muttered. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I'm not mad," I said. He turned his head away. At first I thought someone was there (God forbid Manta should see us like that, freak out, and wake all of Patch Village with his shock), but then I realized he felt he'd done something wrong.

"I like you, Ren," he said, releasing me, "more than I should like you."

"I like you, too." I rubbed my arms as they were reintroduced to the cold of night.

"I want to be near you," he continued. "But it's not a good idea for us to be together like this - not now, anyway."

"Why do you say that?" Sure there were reasons, but not good ones. Both guys? Gender meant nothing to me - I was raised to believe that all mortals were worthless. Different skin color? Again, all the same to me. Proximity? Well, he lived in New York and I in China, but distance was only a minor obstacle...

"You and I are alike in many ways, and one of those ways is our goal - we both want to be the Shaman King. We can't let our feelings interfere with our battles. It would make us resentful in the long run."

He was right, in a way, but it pissed me off - why say anything at all if it would interfere with our paths?

Almost as though he read my mind, Chocolove responded, "But I had to let you know how I felt. I knew you liked me, and you're different than anyone else in our group... You understand me."

"We don't have to tell anyone about this," I mentioned. "In fact, I'd prefer it if you didn't."

He smiled at me. "I'm glad I met you. After the Shaman Fight, who knows what the future will hold?"

I smiled back at him, preparing to go inside. "It all depends on destiny."

He nodded, and I walked away, feeling strangely satisfied.

"Oh, and Ren," he called. I turned again.

"What?"

He grinned deviously. "You are so damn cute when you smile."

End of part ten